A Whole New Chance at Life
I do not own Twilight or the characters! I know that comes as a big shock…lol. I guess that I have to say this since I am using the same names that are in the Twilight series. But I just can't get enough of these characters.
Summary: Bella Black (Swan) is 31 years old and is going through a divorce and starting her life over with her three kids. She finds herself struggling to find a job and decides to become a bartender for the time being until she can find something better. Little does she know that she will be getting a whole new chance at life...
What do you do when you find yourself miserable and all alone at the age of 31?
Well, maybe I am being a little dramatic about being all alone. I mean, I have my parents – Charlie and Renee Swan who have been happily married for the past 36 years. And then I have the only thing that is important to me in this life – My children.
My children are the only good thing I have ever done in my life. I have given everything up for them and I would do it all over again if I needed to. At this point in my life I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them. They keep me focused on the future.
First there is my oldest Bradley. He is 9 years old going on 40. We call him are little politician. He loves to meet people and learn about everything under the sun. He doesn't seem to mesh well with kids his own age. But he can hold his own in a conversation with any adults.
Then there is my baby girl Kylie. She is 8 years old and my little tender heart. She loves every one and she likes to help people out. She is a very energetic one that can bring excitement to all around her. She doesn't let people dictate who she is. She is very comfortable in her own skin.
And last but certainly not least, there is the one that keeps me on my toes – Jayson. Where do I start with him? He is always getting into things. He is only 6 and can pick any lock known to man - which has been a blessing sometimes I must say. I seem to always be locking myself out of either the house or my car. Even though he is always a handful, he is also my cuddle bug. HE can be shy with new people, but once he warms up he is a little charmer.
So now that you know about my three lucky charms as I like to call them, I guess that I should let you know a little bit about myself.
My name is Isabella Marie Black. Well, soon to be Swan again. You see my husband Jacob and I have decided to divorce. We are at least divorcing on good terms. I got married to Jake when I was 22 years old. I thought that I was happy but looking back on everything I really wasn't.
I met Jake when I was 7 years old. He was my older next door neighbor. He was 10 years old when I first saw him and I remember thinking that he was the cutest boy that I had ever met. I would always watch him from my window as he would work on cars with his dad, and I would just drool all over him.
I never had the guts to talk to him. But he would hang out with all the other kids in the neighborhood and he was always nice to me.
As we got older we both had different friends and basically lived totally different lives.
I was raised traveling around the world with my parents and they basically gave me everything that I wanted. I never thought that I was spoiled because I honestly thought that was the way everyone lived. I got money for doing things around the house, but only if I wanted to do them. I never had chores. I got a car when I was 17 years old and the only reason that I didn't get one when I was 16 was because I refuse to dress for PE in high school. But eventually I did and I got the car. My room was ALWAYS a mess but my parents just told me to shut the door so that they didn't have to see it - which was totally fine with me.
The only thing that my parents made me do in life was go to church. I had to go every Sunday even though I would go on both Wednesday and Saturday because I was involved in the high school choir. I loved to sing and hang out with my friends and of course flirt with the boys. But I really didn't like sitting in church on Sundays. The only highlight of the Sunday morning service was watching Jake and his family come in late every time. I looked forward to seeing what Jake would look like. He always looked great.
Jake was raised with parents that were separated and had several kids from different marriages. He lived with his mom and step-dad and his three ½ siblings. He was a really good big brother. His parents didn't make a lot of money but they were able to provide for all their children. They were able to take care of their needs, but when it came to their wants it was up to Jake to work and earn for his wants.
Having been taught to work on cars, Jake started to love anything to do with them. He eventually started working as a driver for one of the Motion Picture Studios when he was only 16.
Both Jake and I dated a few people while we were younger. But when we were both in high school we both fell in love for the first time. Not with each other but with two people that would change our lives for the worse.
Jake fell in love with Leah Silvers. A nice girl from the outside, but as I learned later she was very insecure and she struggled to find acceptance with herself. She eventually broke Jakes heart after dating him for about 6 years by sleeping with some guy at her work. He was actually engaged to her so when he found this out all of their plans to be married went out the window. They had already placed deposits down on the venue. But Jake just walked away. But before he did, he decided to get back at her and went and slept with some girl at his work. I never did understand that logic. But I guess that it helped his ego.
As for me, I fell in love with a boy name Doug Greene. I call him a boy because that is what he was. No man would ever lay a hand on a girl. Yes, I was abuse by him. At first everything was great. He would buy me flowers and write me love letters all the time. Then after we graduated high school he totally changed. He became more controlling and then he started with the verbal abuse and then it turned to physical abuse. My parents didn't know about any of it. I ran away from home because I loved him and I thought that I could change him. But eventually the day came when I had had enough. I found myself being thrown down a flight of stairs after I threw my ring in his face and told him that I didn't love him anymore.
Shortly after my break up with Doug I moved back home and ran into Jake. I had heard about his engagement to Leah so I decided to congratulate him and that was when I found out about everything.
From there we decided to start hanging out together. We both were not looking for a relationship but we decided to do the "Friends with Benefits" deal. I thought that it sounded like a good idea at the time. But later I realized that it was not for me. My heart was too much involved from the very moment that we first slept together.
I told Jake this and he still didn't want to stop having the whole "Friends with Benefits" with other girls. So I decided to move. I needed to just get away. I guess looking back on it I was just running away from my problems, but I didn't know what else I could do. Eventually Jake didn't like me being out of his life and begged me to come home. And since I was young and insecure I jumped at the chance that here was this guy that could love me.
So we moved in together about 3 months later and got ourselves a cute apartment. I loved making a home for us. I remember being so happy at first. But there came a day that should have made me stop and reevaluate what was going on. Jake had this friend Katy and I knew that this was one of his "Friends" and that she still like him. He claimed that she was just a really good friend but I just didn't feel right about her. I didn't like her.
One day when I got home from work Jake started yelling at me when I walked through the door, calling me a bitch and a good for nothing whore. I didn't have any clue to where this was coming from. I had done nothing to him. He told me that he wanted me to move out, because I was sending his "Friend" text messages saying that I wanted her to die. I was so shocked by this. I didn't even have the girl's number. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he says he loved me but believed her and not me. I made a stupid mistake that night and begged him to let me stay. I swore that I didn't do what she claimed and I cried so hard for him to believe me.
That was the first time that I started losing myself to Jacob. Well now that I think about it there were other little thing that I did without thinking Jake was controlling me. But there were times at the very beginning that I would let him know that I was going out to lunch with a guy friend of mine that I had for years and he basically told me that I had to choose them or our relationships. I should have picked them looking back on it, since he never gave me the same courtesy. But then again I wouldn't have my kids.
Eventually we worked everything out and decided to get married. I remember the day that we were supposed to start planning the wedding with my parents and instead of talking about locations and flowers; I found out that I was pregnant. I was so afraid of telling my parents. They were not please when they first found out but decided that they would still help us out if we wanted the big wedding.
Unfortunately for me I had one of the worse pregnancies known to man. I thought that I was going to die the first 5 months. I couldn't eat or drink. I was in and out of the hospital. And I was depressed because I couldn't enjoy the planning of my wedding. Jake and my mother planned it all. Fortunately for me I was finally 100% better the day of my wedding. I don't know what happened but it was like all the pain and suffering just disappeared so that I could enjoy my wedding day.
We were married October 27th 2001. And since September 11th happened I was too afraid to go on a plane, we decided to just drive up the coast and spend the week at the beach. I remember being so happy those days. I was a new wife and soon to be mother. But no one could have predicted what my life would have become in the next few months.
Bradley was born in March 2002 and he was the cutest healthiest baby. Or at least we thought. 10 days after he was born he was sent to the hospital and underwent open heart surgery. I couldn't believe what was happening. I didn't know then that babies had heart surgeries every day. I didn't know how to deal with any of it. Jake was there to be strong for the both of us. But I think that was when I started to distance myself from him. He would want sex to help him through the stress and I just wanted to know that my baby was going to live. I thought that he was an asshole for thinking with his dick while our baby was on life support.
I knew that he loved Bradley, but I just couldn't see past my own grief. I thought that he just couldn't understand what I was going though. He knew his son for 10 days. I knew him for 9 months. I selfishly thought that my pain was more important and in thinking that way I pushed him away.
After living in the hospital for 4 month we were finally able to bring Bradley home and start living as a family. Things were good at times and hard at others, but that is normal for all families. Then about a month later I found out that I was pregnant again.
Once again I had a horrible pregnancy. And things just got worse for Jake and I. We fought all the time. He even threatened to leave me when I was 7 months pregnant. All I wanted from him was to understand that it bothered me that all he cared about was the messy house and not getting sex whenever he wanted it. I felt so trapped in my house. I was afraid Bradley would get sick if I took him out and all of my friends at the time were still going out and partying since they didn't have kids. So I didn't do anything. I stopped caring about myself because I felt like a piece of shit.
I was never good at cleaning my room and unfortunately for me that came with me into adulthood. But I just felt like I wasn't appreciated for it anyway so why should I care. I know that was a bad way of looking at it at that time, but I wanted to feel loved and I wasn't getting that from Jake.
Even though I had to stop talking to my guy friends, Jake continued to talk to other girls. He would always be online chatting with these girls and I would be so hurt and just question him all the time. He always told me that I was crazy and that I should just get over it. He told me that there wasn't anything to freak out about. So I would let it go for a while.
After Kylie was born we decided to go to counseling. I was shocked that Jake wanted to go. He always told me that paying someone to talk to was a waste of money. So as we went through counseling things did get better for a while. And once again I found out I was pregnant. I cried so hard when I found out. Because even though I loved my kids I knew that the stress of having them was killing me and making me loose myself more and more every day.
After Jayson was born we both kind of went into a zone of just living day to day. Not really feeling anything for each other, but staying together for the kids and also just keeping what was comfortable for us. During those years I made my fair share of mistakes. Two that Jake likes to remind me of daily.
There were two men that gave me attention and I was so desperate for any kind of attention that I clung to it like my life depended on it. The first guy was unfortunately someone that Jake worked with. Paul was a really big flirt and every time that I went to see Jake at his job Paul would always hug me and kiss me on the cheek to say hi. I loved just that simple gesture. I would call him or the shop where they worked just to hear him and his little charming comments. I know that I was desperate. But Jake finally caught on and told me that I was a slut. I never did anything with Paul but flirt, but being a married woman I knew that it was wrong. (Even though I knew that Jake did it all the time with other women)
Then there was Sam. That one was a little worse on my part. I found myself going over to my friend Nacole's house to play Texas Hold'em and met Sam there. He was a good looking guy and we got to talking. One thing lead to another and we were talking about how even though he had a girlfriend he still screwed around with other girls. I would always give him crap about it. I would tell him that all these girls were idiots for getting with him knowing that he had Emily. One night we were joking around and I told him that I bet he wouldn't kiss me. Before I knew what was happening he was kissing me with more passion than I had felt over the last few years with Jake and I got lost in the moment.
After it happened I felt so guilty, but also I felt good. It only lasted a moment but in that moment I felt like I could maybe find someone who would want me. I wasn't going to tell Jake about any of it. But after coming home at 2 o'clock in the morning for several nights in a row, he decided to show up at one of our game nights. Even though after the night of the kiss, nothing happened between Sam and me, I knew that Jake knew something.
I finally told Jake everything and we decided that I needed to make a decision between my friendship with Nacole and Sam and my family. That was a very easy choice for me. Of course I would choose my family.
After both situations with these men I finally took a step back and looked at my life. I knew that I was depressed. I had gained over 85 pounds I just wanted out. But I didn't want to hurt Jake. We would always fight and I would run to my dad and talk to him about asking for a divorce. Charlie told me to not do anything rash. So I decided to take this last summer to really decide what I wanted from this marriage.
Over the summer I Jake started helping some girl with her car. It really bothered me. Not just because he was helping some girl out, but because her car sat in our driveway for 2 months and she never came around when I was home. I didn't understand why he was spending so much time on this car and not his family. He would sit at night and text message this girl back and forth and he always told me when I would ask what they were talking about that it was about the car. I didn't feel comforted by his explanation but I let it go after he promised me that he was almost done.
I was looking forward to that car being gone. After another month went by I had enough. I decided to question Jake again about the car and the girl that he was helping out. Somehow the conversation turned to how we felt about our marriage.
It was the first time that both Jake and I were finally honest with each other about where we saw our marriage going. We both agreed that it was going nowhere. I asked if it had anything to do with this girl and he told me absolutely not. So I felt really good about our decision.
We had a lot to do before we could actually separate. First I had to find a job. Being a stay at home mom for the past 10 years, I haven't had to work. Second we had to decide who kept the house. And then we had to tell the kids.
So while I was trying to find a job, Jake was working on other things. I just didn't know what until one day I caught on to part of a conversation that he was having with someone and I heard him say I love you. I asked who he was talking to and he said his mom. I didn't believe him. So I decided to look at his phone that night after he went to sleep, and what I saw broke my heart. There was message after message from some girl named Claire. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Here I was thinking that Jake and I were just drifting apart, when he was obviously seeing someone behind my back.
Jake and I fought big time that night. I told him that he was a cold hearted bastard. I thought that we were finally being open with each other. But of course he put the blame on me. He took all of his wrong doing and put them on my shoulders.
So long story short. Jake and I have decided that come February 1st he would be moving out and I would keep the kids and the house. He would get to see the kids whenever he wanted. Despite all of the hurt we still were adults in the way that we were going to handle everything.
It's been really hard living with him knowing that he is dating several different women, but there is a part of me that almost needed to see it, so that I could have more of a reason to move on with my life.
There is a part of me that is scared but a bigger part of me that is excited. I still can't find a job but I decided to go to Bartending School and since there is a new club opening up down the street from me I think that I am going to try getting a job there. It's not my dream job but at least it is something for the time being.
So now that I have filled you in on where my life is at I want to take you on this journey with me as I find my new chance at life…
AN: I know that this chapter is really long but I thought that you should know the back story that lead Bella to acting the way she does in this story. Join Bella and the rest of the characters that we all love as they all discover that one choice in your life can change everything that you thought that you could have.