Hello, all you loonatics out there! Well, this is my second attempt at the most messed up Looney Tunes pairing. Though this had to be expected at onr point or another, I may even get flamed for the pairing. But despite the messed-up part of it, I feel surprised that no one has tried this yet, and that this HAD to have been considered by SOMEONE besides me.

Note: In all my stories, Tweety is in fact a girl. I think it's a boy in the cartoons, but I don't write slash, and he's feminine enough not to be a shocking difference.

Note: If you've ever watched Baby Looney Tunes, you'll notice that Tweety is signifigantly larger in size, and in comparison to the others as merely short, so that is her size in this story...otherwise, it would just be really freaking weird.

Disclaimer: Warner Brothers owns all characters!

Rating: T for Minor Language, Possible Future Violence, Minorly Adultish Themes, and Kidnapping.

But enough of my babbling! On with the story!

Of Fur and Feathers

They all called their home the 'Looney Mansion'. All eight of them had pitched in and bought a giant house together. It was at first odd staying together there, but they all adapted pretty soon. Who lived there? As of now it was Bugs, Lola, Sylvester, Taz, Tweety, Daffy, Rhodie, and Wile E. Coyote.

Today happened to be an average Saturday at the house. Bugs was lounging in the front room, Lola probably off in the gardens, Daffy prowling around town, writing publicly in a Starbucks. The other five were wreaking havoc around the house. Taz was annoying Lola by accidently tearing up her precious flower beds. And Wile E. and Sylvester were keeping up their favorite neverending hobby, planning in the office downstairs,

"I'm gonna get her, Sylvester, I'm gonna get her today!"

"Stho am I, Wile E.! I'm tired of that sthtupid bird!"

"So am I!"

Wiley and Sylvester were alike in a lot of ways. They were mammals, each trying to catch their own birds. Sylvester had been hunting Tweety ever since the first week they met. Wiley had done that same with Rhodie Runner. As they continued their not-so-ingenious plans of attack, Tweety and Rhodie were upstairs in Tweety's bedroom.

Tweety's room was painted a light blue, with white furniture. Her bed had blue blankets with a white frame, and by her window was a cage-looking suspended chair. Rhodie was sitting on the floor, leaning on the wall while Tweety lay on her stomach, spread on her bed, hands supporting her head.

"It's so nice out!"

"Yeah, it is...I hope he don't ruin it."


"Yeah. I still don't know why he even bothers!"

"At least there aren't cliffs out here."

"Sometimes I wish there were..."

"Oh come on, Rhodie. Even I hate Puddy, but I wouldn't drop him off a cliff...you know, most of the time."

"So you hate him?"

"Well, yeah, he's tried to kill me so many times!"

"Then why do you keep calling him 'Puddy'?"

"I've called him that since we were kids!"

She was right. But they were all now young adults. Tweety and Rhodie were 19, Lola and Taz were 20, Bugs and Daffy were 21, and Sylvester and Wiley 22. Rhodie nodded and pricked up her ears, as she could sense tiptoeing.

"Tweety, you should-"

"I'm on it."

She stood up, and as Sylvester was about to dash into the room, she slammed the door into his face, and locked it. They heard a moaning from the other side as Tweety turned back to her friend,

"You were saying?"

"I dunno, something about Wiley."

"Well, enough about them. Let's go do something."

"Like what?"

"Well we could-...Uh, Rhodie window."

Rhodie stood up, and saw Wiley about to sneak into the window. She slammed the window his his face as well, and they heard tye distinct whistling and crash as the coyote fell. They heard a moaning there too. Rhodie turned back to Tweety and sat down like nothing uad happened,

"You were saying?"

"Well, we could go shopping, or see a movie, or go to the beach."

"Hm...let's drive around and see what happens."

"Alrighty, let me get my keys."

Sylvester, who had managed to walk back to his door, bloody nosed and cursing under his breath, had heard Tweety and Rhodie and decided to go tell Wiley. He walked outside, wiping his wounded nose along the way. He passed the kitchen, seeing Taz raiding the refridgerator. Bugs was flipping through channels and Sylvester was able to tiptoe out and drag Wiley to Tweety's car. The door was luckiky unlocked, so they hid in the back seat of the car.

"Sh! Shh! They'll here us!"

Sylvester hushed his best friend, who was going on about roadrunner stew. The two birds climbed into the car and began to drive, unaware of the two 'hunters' in the back seat. They listened in on the girls playing a game of would you rather,

"Rhodie, that's nasty!"

"You have to choose!"


Rhodie shuddered at the thought as Tweety laughed. Sylvester looked at Wiley, who shrugged, not hearing the question it the first place. They listened in on more,

"Okay...Rhodie. Would you rather date Bugs or Taz?"

"No brainer. Bugs! Taz would probably eat me faster than Wiley!"

"Hm...I never thought about that..."

"Okay. If you had to kiss Daffy or Sylvester, who would it be?"

Sylvester mimed a vommit to Wiley,

"Oh, come on Rhodie, that's just wrong!"

"Point of this game."

"Ugh...Daffy's SO annoying...and Sylvester's just a freak...I can't believe I'm saying this but..."

"Spit it out!"

"Fine! Um...Sylvester...no...Daffy...ew no...fine, Sylvester! Yughh!"

"Yuck! That's just horrible, Tweety!"

"You asked!"

Sylvester's featured fell and his eyes widened in shock at her responce. Wiley was silently snickering. But as Sylvester began to become more mortified, Wiley's snickering became audible. Tweety was in a dirt road with no traffic and slammed her breaks, letting Wiley and Sylvester fly up and hit their faces on the windshield, in a united,


The girls gasped, and as the stalkers came to their senses, the girls in unison slapped them hard across the face. Wiley and Sylvester rubbed their heads in pain.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh-Um-We were just-uh-"

"-Leaving! We were just leaving!"

Wiley grabbed Sylvester's wrist and dragged him from the car. The girls drove away, while the two were left to stand on tye dirt road. Their hiuse was at the top of a hill across Ventura. They groaned at walked, while Wiley narrowed his eyes at his friend,

"I blame you."

I have to admit, I liked the start to this myself, and am a little proud of the first chapter to my first multichaptered fiction. And yes, if you haven't guessed, the main pairings are,



Again, I think Tweety and Road Runner are in fact guys in the cartoons, but Tweety's feminine enough to not be a shocking difference, and Roadrunner neger really spoke, so it's not an overwhelming difference. Don't like, don't read.

But please review!