Disclaimers: **does the sign language equivalent of "I Don't Own Fushigi Yuugi"**

Warnings: Although this story is now rated PG-13, it contains very nasty language thanks to our good pal Tasuki. And, depending on how things go, there is a definite possibility that this fic will be rated R and rightly so in chapters to come. ^^;;

Notes: Wellllll, I'm back!! Hiiiiii. **waves sheepishly** I couldn't keep away from the darn story. I tried to get out, but it kept pulling me back in!!!! Soooo…yeah. Here you have it. ^^;; Hope you guys like it. Thanks to Ryu-chan for helping me with this. ^_~


(original, ne? --;; )

Chapter One:

…Or Something.

In the course of one's life, one will be subject to any number of strange coincidences, some of which are very nice, others of which are sent by the devil himself to make one's life an utter living hell. This latter was the type that awaited me on the first day of the new semester. The time: eleven o'clock a.m. The class: Introduction to Arthurian Literature.

The coincidence: Chuin Ryo.

Not only had I spent practically the whole last season trying desperately to ignore the guy, I never ever ever even wanted to see him again. He'd been scary as hell, trying to call me, get me to go out with him, blah blah blah…not to mention the fact that he chased me through the woods one night like a crazy psycho freak. But, on that ill-fated Monday, there he was, acting as if nothing awkward had ever happened between us.

I'd seen him in the distance as I approached my building, and had sped up immediately, trying to get the heck away. But alas, luck was not with me that day.

"Ryuuuuuennn!!!" he called, and I almost tripped.

I could've kept right on going. I could've pretended I hadn't heard him. But inbred politeness forced me to acknowledge him. Inbred politeness sucks.

"Hiiii," I said, hoping I didn't look too insincere. "Umm, I really gotta hurry to class…sorry! Catch ya later!"

Well handled. Good job. Now hurry up and…

"Yeahhh, my class is in there, too!"

…God dammit to hell.

"Rrrreally." I tried to keep my teeth from clenching as he jogged up beside me, long silvery ponytail trailing out behind him like some kind of flying brain-sucker attached to his head. "What…class do you have?"

"Arthurian Lit!"

God, no. No, no, no…PLEEEEASE, say it's not true!!! Waahahahaaaaa, it's not fair!!!!!

"Oh," I squeaked. "What…a coincidence."

His thin lips curled into a smile as we progressed to the door. "You're in it, too?? Whoah! I had a feeling you'd be taking this class!"

I could kill myself quite easily by throwing myself down those stairs…

Once we reached the classroom, Chuin babbling about video games and how he sometimes didn't wash his underwear because he used the quarters at the arcade, I prayed that there wouldn't be enough seats empty for him to sit by me. Ironically enough, the second annoying coincidence of the day was that there were exactly two desks open.

Next to each other.

I sank wearily and stiffly into the chair, clutching my khaki satchel tightly with both hands, praying to Suzaku that he was over me. Maybe he was sorry for all the grief he'd caused me. Last thing I heard, my best friend Genrou had chewed him out rudely at a McDonalds; maybe he had learned from the experience and no longer considered me a potential conquest.

Apparently, Suzaku was off bowling that day, or something, because the first thing Pansy Stalker Boy (to use Gen-chan's fond nickname) said to me when the bell rang was, "So…ya busy this weekend?"

"Uhhh…." I threw on my coat as quickly as possible. "Yyyyeahhhh…I really have to…" Thinkthinkthink, something plausible, c'mon!! "…work on my thesis!! Man, I totally slacked off last semester…I have a lot going on this spring, so I have to spend as much time as possible…" Throwing him an apologetic grin, I headed toward the door. "Sorry, ahhhh…gotta run, gotta meet someone…"

And…he…followed me.

"Oh, well, I'm heading that way, myself. Look…"


"I'm really sorry about what happened that time, you know, when I tried to talk to you and you didn't wanna talk…" he cleared his throat. "And I just thought, well, maybe you could give me another chance!"

I refrained from reminding him that "trying to talk" to me had involved grabbing my arm when I tried to get away like he was a freaky midnight rapist, and had succeeded in scaring me out of every single one of my wits. If Sai hadn't come along and…

Ahhhhh, Ryuuen. You stupid, stupid boy.

"Chuin," I said, stopping and facing him, seeing The Solution shining before my eyes like a beacon, "I can't. Fact is, I have a boyfriend."


His head jerked back, eyes widening slightly, going a shade or two paler. And I actually felt bad for the guy. I knew I shouldn't have; I knew I had a right to be freaked out by him, and there was no way I was gonna be ashamed I'd told him about Saihitei. But I hated making anyone upset, even creepy people who thought I'd look good in drag.

He doesn't even know you. He only likes you because you're probably the only other guy he knows who likes other guys.

Even so, I felt guilty.

"Look," I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to lead you on, or…or whatever. I admire your…persistence…"—wince—"and I think it took a lot of guts. But…it's just not gonna work out." Because you're a psychotic freak!!!! "I'm sure you'll find someone else…" someone who's INTERESTED.

He swallowed, and I waited patiently for him to say something like, "Ah! Well, then, I shall trouble you no further…" and walk away. Hurrahhh!!! I thought in jubilation, I have a boyfriend now!! He's gotta understand that! And I will be free of him!! Freeeeee freeeeeee freeeeeeeee…

"Is it serious?"

Hit him. Hit him. Hit him.

"Because we're meant to be together, Ryuuen," Chuin said earnestly, reaching out and taking my hand. "I can feel it."

Why is this HAPPENING TO ME???? Suzakuuuuuuu!!!! How am I supposed to be a good Celestial Warrior if I have to worry about stupid stuff like this???!!!

"Ahahahahahahaha!!" I said forcefully, removing my hand from his slimy grip. "Did I say boyfriend??? I meant girlfriend!! Yeeeeahhhhhhhhhhh…we've been friends for a while now and we just decided to get together and it's really serious and I kissed her on the mouth so I gotta go meet her, g'bye!!!" With that, I turned and fled. I didn't know if he'd buy it, but hopefully he'd take the hint this time. There was nothing unclear about what I had just done! I might as well have pinned a big sign on my back that said "LEAVE ME ALONE" in huge red letters.

It's gonna be freaking hard to avoid him now that we've got a class together, I thought desolately.

Maybe he'll drop.

Ah, the blessed flower of hope that bloomed in my heart!! Gag. But somehow, I doubted he'd do anything of the sort. He hadn't given up when I'd said no to coffee and a movie. He hadn't given up when I'd deleted his emails, and he hadn't given up when I'd punched him into a glass window. So I was probably stupid to think that this boyfriend thing was gonna make a difference in his behavior. I was trapped forever. For a moment, the thought occurred to me that Chuin going after me when I was in love with someone else was not really all that different from Nuriko going after Hotohori when he was in love with someone else. But…but it was different! I'd never…stalked him, or anything. I never even told him how I felt. And besides, Hotohori had loved me, which was certainly not the case with the whole Chuin Situation.

Completely different.

As I hurried off around the corner, I found myself suddenly colliding with a small, solid Something in the shape of a person. (I use the term "small" relatively, since the object was a fair bit bigger than I was.) Naturally, the person-shaped Something turned out to actually be a person; a woman, in fact, with short-cropped blond hair and blue eyes.

"Eep!" I cried, stumbling backward from the force of the crash, falling on my rear end, and scraping my palms against the pavement of the sidewalk. "Ahhh! I'm sorry! Sorry, sorry about that…"

"My goodness!! Are you all right?" she exclaimed, eyes going wide. "Here…"

I accepted her hand as she offered it to me, a sheepish smile on my face, and she lugged me to my feet with amazing strength. "Thanks…I'm really sorry, I was…"

"Don't worry about it," she told me kindly, and helped me dust the snow off of my satchel. "Not your fault."

"Are you okay?"

With a laugh, she raised her eyebrow at me. "I'm not the one who fell."


"Well…sorry to rush off, but I've gotta go. See ya round!"

And with that, she was off, tossing me a smile and a Miss America-like wave. And I remained standing there with snow-wet pants and scraped hands, staring after her like she was some kind of beauty queen and I was as straight as they come.

There's something about that girl…


Blinking, I moved my gaze across the street, where a red-headed figure in a beaten black leather jacket was waving his arms wildly, apparently attempting to catch my attention. Before I could think to respond, he was at my elbow, baring his fangs in a grin.

"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I yelled, jumping back and almost falling on my butt again. "Gen-chan!!!! Don't do that!!!"

He rolled his eyes and brought one hand up to his head. "Why the fuck not? Not like anyone'd fuckin notice. M'too fuckin fast fer that." Genrou's Special Seishi Power was speed—the movement, not the drug, as unlikely as that may sound—which he had only recently rediscovered, and he seemed to take great pleasure in flaunting the talent. "So who's the fuckin chick?"

I shrugged. "Dunno."

"Didn't think ya went fer that kinda thing. Shit, man, how ya gonna break it to Sai?"

He was teasing, and I ignored him. "What's up? Why the excited waving and speedy jaywalking?"

"Dude!!" Genrou's eyes lit up. "Kouji and I're gonna go see 'Lord of the Rings!' Wanna come? Do-ya-fuckin-do-ya?"

"You haven't seen it yet?"

He froze. "Ehhh…no! Why? You fuckin seen it?"

Beaming, I held up my hand, fingers spread. "Five times."

"FUCK!!! You're fuckin kiddin me!

"Nope." I shook my head. "Twice with Sai, once with Miaka and Taka and Houjun and Kouran and Sai, once with Doukun and Myojuan and Sai, and once with Taka and Doukun and Sai."

"What, so ya just kinda fuckin neglected ta invite me??!" he exclaimed, looking hurt. "Ya fuckin go see the damn movie with everyone in the fuckin free world except for me??!"

"You were always busyyyyyy," I defended myself. "You were always out with Kouji or visiting your family or reading Harry Potter or something!!"

He fumed, pouting, and crossed his arms.

"Gen-chaaaaaaaannnnnnn," I said. "Don't be mad. C'mon. I'll go see it with you guys tonight, okayyyy?"

"Hmph," he grunted pleasantly.

"What time is it playing?"

"Dunno. But we thought maybe 'round seven, or so, seein as how it's a three-hour movie and all you fuckin kids can't miss your fuckin bedtimes."

"Okay, well…wanna call Sai's cell phone when you find out? I'm heading over to his place to study right after he gets done with class, so that's where I'll be."

Genrou snorted, giving me a sly look. "Riiiiiiiight. 'Studyyyyy.'"

I blushed. He didn't seem to get the fact that, even though Sai and I had been going out for nearly three months and I spent the weekends at his place and had my own sock drawer in his bedroom, we weren't very "intimate" at all. Well…we were intimate in the sense that he knew almost everything about me, and I about him. But physically… I wasn't ready—didn't know if I'd ever be ready—and he didn't push. And…I liked it that way. Sometimes, I worried about whether Saihitei liked it that way. I mean, just because I didn't want that didn't mean that he didn't. I hoped he was really okay with it, and not just saying so to make me feel better. He did that sometimes.

While this pleasant and somewhat intellectual little train of thought was running through my mind, I responded to Genrou's teasing by lashing out and punching him into the nearest wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK??!!" he cried after he had peeled himself off of the bricks of the Colonial Pantry. "A guy can't even fuckin play around??!!"

"Eheheh," I said, hiding my smarting fist behind my back and giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry; reflex."

"Yer a fuckin violent little punk, ya know that?" he complained, rubbing his jaw. "No shit! And the fuckin scary thing is, ya wouldn't fuckin think it, lookin at you. Yer a fuckin scrawny, sappy little guy; who knew ya carried this much fuckin rage."

"I am not sappy!!" I protested.

He regarded me skeptically.

"I'm not!!"

"Look, man; a fuckin tree's got nothin on you," he informed me. "But hey, what the hell; you're in love, right? And fuckin lovebirds are supposed to be fuckin sappy. If they ain't, there's somethin wrong with em. Ahhh, speakin of which…" he waved his hand nonchalantly. "You can bring yer fuckin boytoy, if ya want. Whatever. You two can get all fuckin cutesy and share a fuckin beverage and hold hands and shit like that, and if anyone gives you shit or even looks atcha funny, Kouji and me'll fuckin beat the living crap out of 'em!!!!" Adopting a fierce and stalwart William Wallace-type stance, fists clenched, Gen-chan looked like he was about to take on The WWF Embodiment of Homophobic Tendencies, or something.


My indignation faded immediately. "Thanks, Gen-chan. That's really nice of you. But I don't think we'll have much of a problem, seeing as how most of the people I meet think I'm a girl anyway."

He nodded. "True."

"True?? Whadda ya mean, 'true'??!" I said, pretending to be offended.

"Shit, Ryuuen! You fuckin said it, not me!!"

"You think I look like a girl???" Pouting, I gave him my best Big Eyes.

"I think yer fuckin actin like a fuckin girl!! Snap the fuck out of it!"

I giggled. "Okay, okay. Hey, I gotta run; gotta get over to Panera to meet Sai, his class is over in ten minutes. You wanna come have lunch with us?"

"Nahhhh, I'd be a fuckin third wheel."

"You would not!" I exclaimed, distressed. "We're not like that! Just because we're…well, it doesn't mean that we ignore our friends!!"

Genrou rolled his eyes. "Ya got the fuckin mood swing thing covered today, Ryuu-chan."

"Do we make you feel weird when you're around us and we do couple stuff?" I worried.

"Dude, if that kinda thing fuckin bothered me, it's fuckin Taka and Miaka I'd talk to, not you. Shit, wouldja fuckin calm down?! I didn't mean to start a whole fuckin Worry Fest!! All I meant was, you guys might wanna do stuff alone sometime, without my ugly face gettin in the way. And besides, no way I'm gonna eat at fuckin Panera. Fuckin preppy haven."

I don't know why this surprised me. I mean, I'd always known Genrou was a lot softer than he let on. When we were eleven, I had really liked this cartoon show about this guy with a magical talking stuffed elephant, and Gen-chan had thought it was the stupidest thing in the world. But then I'd gotten sick and was in the hospital for about a week, and when he came to visit me, he brought me a stuffed elephant with a blue bow, just like the one in the show. (I still had it, actually; it was on top of my bookcase at home.) Of course, he'd denied the whole thing after I'd gotten better. That's just the way he was. And now was no different. He wanted me and Sai to have time to ourselves! What a nice guy!!

I couldn't think of a single thing to say, so I settled for, "You're not ugly. You're very…"

"Just fuckin stop right there," he growled, raising a finger at me. "Don't fuckin cross that line, pal."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Ahhh, jeez… A girl can say she thinks Julia Roberts is pretty without getting stared at. What's wrong with guys?!?"

"I ain't Julia Roberts."

"No kidding. The fangs kinda threw me off there for a sec."

"Gahhh, whatever. Go on, get outa here; don't fuckin wanna be late to meet fuckin Prince Charming." He turned and began to walk away, hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat.

"Bye, Gen-chan!" I beamed, waving at his back even though he couldn't see me. "Call Sai about the movie, okay?"

He made a "Yeah, yeah," gesture with his hand, and I spun around and headed off to Panera to meet my terrific, wonderful, and in every way perfect boyfriend. As I neared the restaurant, I saw him sitting near the window, looking for me; when he saw me coming, his eyes lit up and he gave one of his knee-weakening smiles.

Somehow managing to keep standing despite the weakened knees and the bubbly fluttering of my heart, I waved at him wildly, sped up my pace, and hurried into the warmth of the small building, where I was greeted with open arms and a kiss on the forehead.

And even after three months, the immediate reaction of my brain to this goopy display of affection remained the same:



Notes: ^^;; Oh, yeah; I'm gonna be out of town from Monday until Friday, so I won't be able to get on a computer and update or read anything!!! **sniff** Just to let you guys know. It'll be a cool vacation, though. ^__^ And I'll be back on Friday night! WOO!!

YET ANOTHER STORY AKUGI!!!! (this is reeeeeally bad. ^^;; )

Genrou: I ain't Julia Roberts.

Ryuuen: What? No expletive?

Genrou: I ain't fuckin Julia Roberts.

Ryuuen: Well, I coulda told you that. You don't even know her!

Genrou: GODDAMMIT!!! You fuckin set me up!!!!!!!!

Ryuuen: ^_~

Mouse-chan Says: The subliminal message for this chapter was "Sex." Every time I went to type something beginning with "Ex," such as "Explain" or "Expletive," I would somehow screw up and an S would find its way into the word, leaving me with such interesting verbs as "To Sexplain" and equally interesting nouns such as "Sexpletive." --;; I would like to believe that this prefix is actually indicating the Latin number six, as one might find in the words "Sextet" and "Sextuplets," because frankly…well…just because. ^^;;

Jaaaa, minnaaaaaaaaaa!!!!