AN: One shot of the Master and Ten travelling together. M for slight slash, nothing graphic.

Standard Disclaimer: Don't own it, wish I did. Yada, Yada, Yada.

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Been There, Done That

The Captain pulled his greatcoat tighter against the cold and trudged up the mountain, boots sinking in the snow. He'd been searching for what seemed like forever and had few hopes this lead would turn out any better than the rest.

Tales of a lonely doctor living in a shed perched on the side of the mountain, very near the top had driven him this far. No one knew much about him, just that his dark eyes revealed an old soul. They said he rarely came down to the little town in the valley, seemingly preferring the icy winds and solitude of the mountaintop.

Seeing the shed for the first time, the Captain felt a tiny ray of hope. There were no windows, no lights and most importantly, no back door. The front of the shed was pitched over the edge of the cliff, no path or stairs in sight.

Sighing, he edged around the side of the shed, trying to get purchase on the old boards and shifting rocks under his feet to reach the front. Blinking against the blowing snow, he managed to get an arm and one leg over the rail around a deep porch and heaved himself up.

Halfway over the rail he saw two men sitting fast asleep in a swing facing the cliff, a dark–haired one, face turned away, hidden in the shoulder of the blond. An old quilt pulled up over them.

"You!" He cried in shock, falling the rest of the way over the rail to land in the snowdrift in the corner of the porch. "But you're dead!" Standing, he shook the snow from his coat and stared in open-mouthed shock.

"Wake up." The blond nudged the dark-haired man. "The freak's found us." He sighed sat up straighter, pulling his arm from around the dark-haired man. "Yeah…not so much." He grinned at the Captain. "Miss me?"

"Jack!" The dark-haired man sat up. "What're you doing here?" He sat up letting the quilt fall to the floor. He grinned madly, but didn't stand to greet the Captain. "You look great!"

"Doctor, I…" The Captain frowned. "How? What…?" Captain Jack Harkness had rarely been so tongue-tied. But the shock of seeing the Doctor and the Master sitting so…so cozy had caused his mind to go blank.

"I told you we've been here too long." The Master sighed and pulled the quilt up, shaking the snow off it.

"Nonsense!" The Doctor laughed. "It's beautiful here." He took a deep breath and looked out at the view of the snowcapped mountains. "Isn't it Jack?"

"It's taken me months to track you down and I find you sitting all snuggled up with the Master and all you can say is look at the view?" The Captain leaned back against the rail, eyes wide in amazement.

"Were you looking for us?" The Doctor ran a hand through his hair.

"No. I was looking for you." Jack glared at the Master. "Why is he alive and why…please tell me why the hell he had his arm around you!" Jack's voice had gotten increasingly louder until it was a shriek.

"Jack!" The Doctor reproved. "If you can't be civil, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The Doctor crossed his arms over his chest.

Jack looked from one to the other, his mouth moving, but no words coming out. "What?" He finally managed to spit out.

"We're…together." The Doctor lifted one hand to gesture. "Yes. Together."

"Together?" Jack frowned. "As in…" Jealousy hit him hard and he wanted to punch the Master and toss him over the porch rail. Wondered how long he would hear the screams over the wind.

"What he's trying to say, is that he belongs to me." The Master smirked at Jack. "Don't be jealous freak. You could never have kept him." The Master watched Jack and pulled the Doctor closer to him. The look in his eyes said MINE, touch at your peril.

"What?" Jack shook his head. This was too surreal to be believed. "He's the Doctor, he can't belong to you!" Not his Doctor. Not the Last Time Lord.

"Well." The Doctor tipped his head to the side and Jack could see the faint blush on his cheeks. "Technically speaking—"

"No." Jack insisted. "Good and Evil do not … hook-up! It's not possible."

"It's very possible." The Master laughed running his fingers through the Doctor's hair. "And lots of fun." He grinned at the look on the freak's face. Wondered how far he could go before the freak exploded. Before the Doctor put a stop to it.

"Jack, did you have a reason for climbing up here?" The Doctor leaned his head back into the hand in his hair and turned sideways on the swing, putting both feet up to face Jack.

"I…" Jack took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts. "I see you got the chameleon circuit fixed." He gestured at the shed. Stall, delay for time to figure this out.

"The Master did that." The Doctor said happily, leaning back against the Master. "A police box really wouldn't blend in up here. He closed his eyes briefly, wiggling to get comfortable between the Masters arms.

"Did you hypnotize him? Drug him? Brainwash him?" Jack glared at the Master, all attempts at calming his thoughts buried in a surge of rage.

"Nope. In fact, this was his idea." The Master grinned. "You could say he hypnotized me."

"Jack. Try to understand." The Doctor said gently. "We're the last of our kind. Out of billions, what are the odds that we two…we grew up together you know." He shook his head. "We learned about life and death and love together…what are the odds that it would end up being just the two of us left?" He smiled. "That's gotta mean something. We're as close to soulmates as it gets."

"It doesn't mean you shag the enemy!" Jack lifted both hands in emphasis. After all the times he'd tried to get in the Doctor's pants, he goes and fucks the Master?

"We're not enemies." The Doctor shook his head. "I told you before Jack, I didn't want to kill the Master, I wanted to save him."

Jack shook his head, unwilling to accept what he was hearing. "Doctor…. We need you to come back…there's this alien—"

"No." The Master said flatly. "Absolutely NOT." His eyes were hard as stone.

"What?" Jack asked. "I'm talking to the Doctor, not you."

"No Jack." The Doctor shook his head. "I…we don't do that anymore."

"What do you mean, you don't do that anymore?" Jack asked in surprise. Something was seriously wrong with the Doctor.

"We're retired." The Doctor nodded happily at Jack. The Master snickered into the Doctor's hair.

"Retired! You're the Doctor! You don't get to retire!" Jack exclaimed. He wanted to smash something; the Master's face preferably, but didn't see that happening.

"Yes he does." The Master answered. "We are." He lifted both hands as if to say, see…look at us.

"No." Jack denied. "Doctor, you can't just …quit! You can't just hide up here in the mountains!" Jack drug his hand through his hair. This was the last thing he'd expected and he didn't know how to deal with it. Almost felt like they were humoring him.

"Jack." The Doctor explained. "Every relationship requires compromise. He gave up certain things, I gave up certain things." The Doctor said eyes twinkled. "Do you understand?"

"I….no." Jack snapped. "This is not possible!" Somehow he must convince the Doctor to come and save them again.

The Doctor sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "The Master doesn't kill humans anymore and I don't save them." He smiled. "It balances out better this way because no one dies."

"What about all those other aliens wanting to take over earth?" Jack demanded.

"Well, they're not Time Lords." The Doctor laughed softly. "You shouldn't have any problem taking care of them."

"This is crazy!" Jack scoffed. "Doctor you don't mean that!" He tried to ignore the Master nuzzling in the Doctor's hair, eyes watching and laughing at him.

"Jack…Jack…" The Doctor sighed. He'd tried to avoid this conversation.

"He's said no nicely." The Master said stiffly. "Get lost freak."

"Doctor!" Jack cried unable to believe he was being sent away. "You can't just throw me out! Not me!"

"Do you want to come in and get warm before you start down the mountain?" The Doctor stood and folded the quilt. For the first time, Jack noticed neither of them wore a coat and didn't look chilly.

"I.." Jack shook his head. This was worse than any nightmare he ever had.

"Come on freak." The Master sighed and got off the swing to push open the Tardis doors. "But no more trying to talk the Doctor into anything."

Jack opened his mouth and then closed it, stomping into the console room to greet the Tardis glaring at the Master as he went by.

The Doctor put his hand on the Master's arm. "Can we take him home?" He asked quietly, looking into the Master's eyes. "Just a ride home?"

The Master's eyes softened and he nodded. "I was afraid you wanted to keep him." He grinned.

"You wouldn't get along." The Doctor shrugged and started into the Tardis.

The Master caught his arm and pulled him back. "Are you happy Theta?" He whispered.

The Doctor looked at him a long moment and shrugged, almost smiling. "As happy as you are not being able to kill and blow things up."

"Theta?" The Master frowned, reaching out to touch the Doctor's cheek.

The Doctor gave him a quick hug. "I don't want to change things. I'm happy with the way they are."

"Yeah." The Master agreed. "Me too." He pulled the Doctor into a tight hug, smiling at Jack over his shoulder. Captain fucking freak.

/

"You have six new emails from the editor and one from the publisher." The Master looked at the screen on the console. "Probably some voice mails too."

"Whatever." The Doctor dismissed them with a wave.

"Here's one from that producer. They want the script for the next Doctor Who special."

"I'll look at 'em tomorrow." The Doctor slumped in the pilot's chair. "I'm hungry."

"You just don't want to finish the book." The Master glanced at him over the screen and went back to scanning the emails.

"I won't be rushed." The Doctor insisted airily. "I have all the time in the world. I'm a Time Lord."

"You can't remember what happened!" The Master laughed. "You can't finish because you can't remember!"

"I so remember!" The Doctor sat up, eyes flashing. "I think." He gave up and laughed too. "It'll be in the Tardis logs."

"Liar." The Master grinned. "You're been making it up for awhile now."

"No." The Doctor insisted. "That last episode happened exactly the way I wrote it." He patted the Tardis console. "Right old girl?"

The Master shook his head at him. Wondered who was fooling whom.

"You try coming up with Doctor Who books, comics, games, specials and a movie or two." The Doctor frowned. "They just keep begging for more."

"I don't have to." The Master smirked. "It's Doctor Who, not the Master."

"Well you better start thinking of something…if you want me to keep you in jelly babies." The Doctor grunted. "That's the last bag."

"What!" The Master cried. "Time to go shopping." He started flipping switches, pushing buttons and throwing levers. "Jelly babies are important!"

The Doctor laughed, grabbing the edge of the seat when the Tardis lurched.

/

They sat snuggled in the swing, watching the sunset. The Doctor pulled the quilt a little tighter against the cold wind and blowing snow. The Master fisted his hand in the Doctor's hair, forcing his head back to reach his neck.

"Ow!" The Doctor complained, running his hand through the Master's short, silky hair unable to wrap his fingers in it. "Grow your hair longer." He demanded, not for the first time.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" The Master chuckled and pulled harder on the Doctor's hair.

"Fuck!" The Doctor protested offering his neck to save his hair.

"I'm trying to." The Master laughed and bit his neck.

/

AN: Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R