It's sad that Zone-00 isn't as big as I personally believe it should be. Then again, it doesn't seem to have much of a plot and is basically just a crack manga with all of the fan service any shounen ai fan would appreciate. And so, I have written this in honor of the spastic, fan service-infested manga that I've grown to love so much.

Disclaimer: I, Ecchi-sama, do not own any part of Zone-00. I do, however, confess that I've only read the first volume (while I have skimmed through the Chinese scans of the last 3) and therefore, some of the minor details and/or characters may not actually make sense or exist. (But hey, this is a fanfiction, right? I suppose I have the right to change around what I want to. :P)

EDIT 5/24/11: I went back and pulled out the opening sex scene because I figured if I am to make this an actual story, it'd be more fun to suggest that Konnosuke and Kiyoami are bumping each other. That, and there were a few other minor details I wanted changed. If you would like to read the original dirty version, I'd be more than happy to send it to anyone who requests it. Thanks for your understanding!

"You always know how to ruin a perfectly good night," Konnosuke mumbled.

Kiyoami lifted a questioning brow at his partner, "And what did I do this time?"

"It isn't what you did," the fox hissed, briskly walking away, "it's what you forgot to do that pissed me off."

The ogre swallowed a nonexistent lump as he observed the swishing of his comrade's nine tails. He then flipped himself over, his hips becoming perpendicular to the floor, his head propped up by his upward facing palm.

The fox's ears pulled back, his eyes narrowing to dangerous, angry slits. He picked up an unused cloth to his face to gently wipe away the sweat that was produced as a direct effect of the gods' laborious activities. He then proceeded down his chest and over his strong arms.

"Why do you even care?" the ogre mumbled. "It's not like anything can happen to you."

Konnosuke froze, the cloth he had been using as a towel having just reached his knee, clenching the cloth in a futile attempt to calm his nerves. He snorted before drying off the rest of his body.

"Damn this useless ogre…"

Konnosuke threw down the used cloth and dressed himself before stomping out into the forest without another word to his companion.

"That burly brute thinks I'm nothing more than an easy lay."

His tails flailed about his being angrily as he made his way into the dense forest. His arms were crossed over his chest, his brow furrowed, and his hair pulled back in a loose and messy ponytail. He ranted on to himself about how much he truly hated Kiyoami and how, when he returned, he would strangle him with his thighs in an ironic twist of fate to show the ogre just how his carelessness made him tick.

Konnosuke began to slow his pace as he reached a large bridge that connected two land masses that had been separated by a strong but peaceful river. He stopped at the top of the bridge to lean over the edge, watching as the minnows that inhabited the river began to slither about in the first few rays of the sunlight.

He watched a golden koi appear from beneath a lily, slowly making its way closer to the bridge. Its face seemed upset in Konnosuke's opinion, and he began to pity it as he imagined that it too had just stormed off from a fight with his havoc wreaking companion. The purple-haired fox sighed as he placed his chin into his open palm and leaned further onto the railing, unaware of the beauty that stood at the edge of the forest on the opposing end of the bridge.


It was intensely quiet, per usual.

And yet, there was a silence that the lord of the house was not particularly fond of.

He replaced his silverware back onto the table to peer at his young wife sitting timidly on the opposite end of the long dining table, nibbling on her breakfast as she always did.

Nothing seemed out of place; her long blonde hair hung gracefully about her thin shoulders that nervously curved into her body. She kept her sky blue eyes focused on the plate set before her. Full, peach hued lips puckered in a concentrated sophistication as she chewed on her egg. There was something different about her nervousness that was beginning to irk the master exorcist. He snapped his fingers in an attempt to grab her attention, but to no avail.

"Wife," he sternly let out.

The girl's head snapped to attention, golden curls bouncing as she did so. She put down her utensils to show him that she was listening intently.

"My lord?"

He sat still for a moment, locking sights with hers, trying as he might to figure out what was off on this particular morning.

"Sharaku has informed me that you went out and about on an early morning walk."

She looked up to the stoic cyborg that stood a ways off in the distance past her husband. The machine stood tall, as always, in a way that suggested he didn't hear the conversation currently taking place.

"Is this true?"

She looked back to her husband. His expression was completely emotionless; like he too had been brought to this world as a whirring robot.

"It is," she answered quietly.

"And?" he inquired.

"I was unwell when I woke and did not find it justified to wake you because of it."

His eyes widened for a moment. "Perhaps you are with child?"

She shook her head, placing her small hands over her small belly as she turned her gaze to the ground, afraid of the disappointment she would see on her husband's face.

He sighed. Again, the room went completely silent as the two sat to wallow in their own thoughts. After what seemed to be an eternity, he rose from his seat, gesturing towards Sharaku.

"Very well then." the robotic servant walked up behind him and put on his coat.

"I will see you this evening." Her husband walked off towards the foyer when he stopped at the doorway, turning back only slightly.

"Until then."

She stood and bowed before he walked out of the room, the silent cyborg always keeping 4 steps behind him.

The girl sat back down, reviewing the horrors that had startled her awake that morning. But, to her distress, there were only recollections of blood, flowers, and sadness. She turned her attention back to the breakfast that steadily grew cold before her as a young servant girl appeared from the kitchen.

"Mistress, would you care for more food?" She knelled down beside the table and bowed in respect.

"I'm full now," the wife bellowed, "so you may clear the settings."

The girl bowed deeper and began to clean up. As she did so, her long, purple sleeve dangled about her slender arms, catching the young mistress' eye.

She watched it swing forward, back, slide down, up.

It reminded her of the beautiful beast she'd spotted at the bridge into the neighboring village.

And, now that her husband had left…

"Would you like anything else, Mistress?"

She pondered for only a moment.

"Fetch me some clean traveler's clothes," she commanded, being sure not to let her voice quiver in the slightest. "I'm going out for a walk."


To her dismay, the creature was no longer at the bridge. As she stared forlorn down the river, she caught a quick shimmer of purple and followed the riverbed downstream to where she thought she had seen it. It wasn't long before she heard a splash to be followed by a soothing chuckle.

Her heart stopped.

It couldn't possibly-

She crouched below a tree that hovered over the water, still hidden within the shadows when she found him, the creature in his godlike glory.

His body was nothing but tight muscles, wet from his aquatic adventure as he waded about in the water. His arms were parallel to the ground and at his sides as he kept his eyes focused into the water before him. He must have been looking for something; a geta maybe, or even his-


He suddenly dove into the water, leaving the girl dazed on the bank. It was a good 3 minutes when he had yet to return, her heart beating at an uneasy rhythm. She stood from her hiding place, removed her sandals and stepped into the water.

She waded in until the water reached her knees, her hair slipping from the clip that had held it back as she looked into the dark depths before her in search of the missing fox. Closer to the bridge now, there were bubbles that began to float to the top, only a few at first that generated into a huge bundle that was soon followed by splashes caused from the reappearing fox's flailing arms.

His long purple hair was stringy and stuck to the nooks and curves of his body. He held in his hands what appeared to be a large golden koi who he soon began to hold conversation with.

"That is awfully unfortunate, my friend," he pouted, setting the majestic fish back into the water, still keeping a gentle grip on it.

"I suppose I must return home as well before that brute gets upset."

He went quiet as he stared into one eye of the fish as if the two were communicating telepathically. He smiled then and the girl blushed.

What a magnificent smile…

"Until we meet again, my friend!" the fox jeered.

"It has indeed been a pleasure!"

With those final words, he released the fish and watched it swim away under the bridge. The girl only then shook herself from her trance and tried to return to shore.

She took a step up, burying her foot in the slippery soil that made up the bottom of the bank. Taking another step, she slipped and caught herself on a nearby tree.

She turned back to the bridge, afraid that her splashes were heard by the fox and thereby putting her in danger. To her surprise, the fox was nowhere in sight and she continued to make her way out of the water.

It was more difficult than she had expected as she tried to keep as quiet as possible. How absolutely foolish! She thought. Had I not been so hell bent on finding that demon, I wouldn't be stuck in this situation.

In her frustration, she attempted to jump out of the water to climb up onto the overhanging tree branch to ultimately reach safety. She successfully grabbed hold of the branch and made her way towards shore when her grip was loosened by a slippery speck of moss on the arm of the tree.

She screamed in surprise, hanging on with only one arm and trying desperately to re-grip the branch with the other when she felt another hand grab hers. Looking up, her eyes widened in shock as the beautiful fox smiled down at her mischievously. He slowly pulled her up into his arms, carrying her down the tree and to the safety of solid land.

"What a strange human," he mewled as he set her down.

"Did you come all the way out here to see me?"

Settled on her knees, the girl blinked and gripped the wet edges of her kimono. The fox stood as tall and straight as bamboo and kept his thin, blue eyes locked on her quivering body. He was dressed in a thin, silk yukata that hung about his still wet form. His hair had been pulled back and his tail was nearly unmoving behind him.

"I must frighten you."

She shook her head and kept her gaze focused on the ground.

"I'm just surprised that you came to help me," she whispered.

"Well I couldn't simply leave you there," he said, as if he were having any normal conversation with a person of equal status. "As a matter of fact, it would be ridiculous for a gentleman like myself to leave any beautiful maiden to maneuver through such a trial on her own."

She blushed as he continued.

"Though I must say, if I hadn't been here or had your hand not slipped, I'd think you could have made it on your own." He chuckled lightly at this and looked back at her to see she was still uncomfortable.

"Tell me your name, beautiful human."

She blushed darker and tightened her grip until her knuckles were white.

"Yume is my name."

"How simply enchanting," the fox cooed, offering his hand to her. "Might you look me in the eye, beautiful Yume?"

She glanced up at his offered hand, his sharp claws glistening in the sun.

He chuckled again. "There is no need to fear me for I have no intention of hurting you."

Her head snapped back up, her eyes locking into his. The fox's eyes widened. Those bright sky blue eyes had pierced him unlike any he'd encountered before. He could feel a heat growing in his chest; a sensation that sent his mind in a whirl.

"Come now," he beckoned, his hand still outstretched. "Let me walk you home so that you may not find any more troubles, beautiful Yume."

Ooh, saucy. I think this story could stand very well as a one-shot. Of course, I have more of it planned out already, but I suppose if anyone ends up reading this, I'd be happy to write more.

I was intrigued with the conversation Byakko had with Kujo after they find Kujo's phone to see that his teacher was calling him and they start talking about women of their dreams before Rouji waltzes in. That's where this story was born and raised. Goodness I love all of the Zone-00 boys so very much. Anyway, I hope everyone has had a lovely new year so far. Thank you for reading. ;)

愛 Ecchi