HEY EVERYONE! It's been awhile since I wrote anything I could put on here. I've been quite busy, so I have pretty much been MIA. But I hope to be uploading much more soon. (: Anyways, on with my song fics! These one is the first half of lyrics from Mirrors by Ellie Goulding. I hope you enjoy, and as always, R&R are appreciated. XOXOXO. -Hot Mess 12
Is this our world?
Temari hadn't seen Shikamaru in years. The war had turned her world upside down, and he was a main component in it all. As a Shinobi, she was required to travel and be active. She couldn't settle down, and she knew that is exactly what he would ask for her. So, in conclusion, she walked away and never looked back. That was until now. She stood at the Konoha gates determined to know if she was right. Doubt had filled her mind for the past years, and as stubborn as she was, she needed answers. The great Temari was going to swallow her pride for a lazy genius.
She went to the temporary housing unit that was for the longest time reserved for her. Shikamaru had paid for it every month to make sure no one else was allowed access. He said that it was just part of his mission to keep me safe on the visits, but it turned into more of that. It turned into their place, but more importantly, it turned into their world.
It was where she cooked for the first time, and Shikamaru ate it. It was where he then got food poisoning and threw up all evening. It was where he taught her how to play shoji, and it was where she lost in the strip version of the game. It was where they shared intimidate moments and intelligent conversations. It was where she was more than just a terrible malicious nin. It was where everything changed.
It became a place that was truly their own.
I look in the mirror
I can't get over you
Is this our world?
Is this someone else?
Is this someone else?
She found the key in the hidden place under a shoji board on the porch. A smile crept onto her face as she realized how strategic everything was between them. Hidden love in a way that only they could understand.
As she turned the key in the lock and turned the knob of the door, she exhaled heavily. Was it love on his part too? Or was she being strung along the whole time? He was a genius after all.
The place was virtually untouched from the last time she had left it, and she felt no need to turn the lights on since the moonlight made everything seem so surreal. She didn't want to feel disconnected with this place anymore.
She grazed her fingers along the loose fibers of the beat up couch as she entered the living area and slid on the tiles in the kitchen. Great memories flooded back to her, overwhelming her senses. The smell of grass and lemon scented the place, and the sight of their endless battle tactics of paper lit a flame inside her of pure hope. This place developed the hope that was needed to win the war. It all began here, and hopefully, out of the love they need for their nation and each other.
Or at least she hoped so.
Temari walked slowly to the depths of the only bedroom in the place. Before crossing the room's threshold, she glanced back into the living room at the couch. For months, she made Shikamaru sleep on that uncomfortable thing, and then one night, she tried to drink more sake than she was accustomed to. He carried her from the BBQ shack to the bedroom. Even in her drunken state, Temari was aware of the boundaries that they had set. There were heavy emotions intertwined between them that could never be fully realized. But being drunk made the lines blur, and she pulled on his Jounin jacket. She pulled him so close to her lips that she smelled the sweet cinnamon mouthwash he used. Temari had laid on the bed with Shikamaru standing hunched over her. He had all the power to pull away or stop her. Instead, he met her the rest of the way.
That was the first time he slept with her in the same bed.
Now, sitting down on the bed felt weird and cold. It was filled with so much that was too far to fully grasp. The concept of her emotions getting out of control caused her to look into the mirror in the vanity across from the bed. Her eyes watered as the memory of his smile as she put her hair up floated in the air. But his kiss on her shoulder as she put her make-up on lingered on her skin somehow.
Tears streamed steadily down her cheeks as the realization hit that she wasn't over him. That in itself scared her to her core. What if, after all these years, he found someone else?
Then a slam at the front door caught her full attention. With tears still present, she held tight to a kunai she had held on her hip. No one was going to hurt her, even in her most venerable state.
I look in the mirror
And I try to see myself
My head full of terror
From the games I played so well
I try to see clearer
I try to forget the fires I started
I try to be nearer
To where you are
To where you are
Shikamaru hadn't visited their place since she walked away. The key under the Shoji board wasn't there anymore, and that made him anxious. Only the two of them knew about it, but without her knowledge, he hid one in the pot she threw at him the first time she lost Shoji to him. It was a precaution if she needed help and especially if she locked him out. He was paying for the place after all.
He entered carefully, but he caught a glimpse of himself in the moonlight reflected off of a window. He had matured since the beginning of the stupid war. He was still shaving, but stubble always seemed to stay on his face. He was taller and more muscular. He barely caught a glimpse of himself, and when he tried to look again, it was hard to see himself at all. So he kept walking into their home.
Tactics laid across the table, and those only brought the beginning of the end for their relationship. He strategized the war like a massive Shoji board, and her input on the practicalities of moves made a clear balance. But that was no surprise. They were both good at the game of Shoji.
They started so many sparks in aiding countries, and they set other countries ablaze. It was weird and terrifying how big a difference there was between sparks and flames, and yet, it was all on the same playing field. Having one or the other didn't necessary give a disadvantage or an advantage. It was all in approach, but in this way, Temari balanced him out by her demanding nature. She lead troops effortlessly while he reminded them what the plans were. They were both leaders, but without one, was it an advantage or disadvantage? Or was it still even?
He heard the creak of the bedroom door as the kunai raced to his skull. Shadows engulfed it quickly, but the sight of her golden locks made the reality of his feelings send blood up to his head anyways. "Temari, it's only me."
He tried to step closer, but she positioned herself into the doorway fully. She clutched several weapons in her hand tightly, turning them red from the unusual tension. "Only you. You say that like I should still trust you."
Shikamaru barely noticed her cold smirk to him as her cheeks glistened. There was only way thing she could have been doing all this time. "Why are you crying, troublesome?" Even now, those words were meant as more of a compliment than an insult. For a long time that was how he viewed her. There was no other way of describing her, but he didn't want to change her.
Temari wiped her eyes roughly. "I'm not."
As he edged nearer to her, she let the weapons slid out of her hand and fall to the floor. They had always met halfway with everything. That was how things were. In friendship. In battle. In love.
But this time, Shikamaru walked all the way to her, and even in his laziest days, he would've done that for her if she needed it. Problem was she was too stubborn for that, and in all honesty, she never needed him to.
And as he wrapped his arms around her and she dampened his shirt with her oncoming tears, he realized fully that there was no way he would have ever gotten over her.
Are we star-crossed lovers?
Did I really want you gone?
If I'm really a winner
Where did these demons come from?
She let herself almost suffocate from crying. She let years of resistance to emotions to fade away. Temari gripped his shirt tightly and cried. There was no time in which she completely stopped, but when she looked up at Shikamaru, there was a smile on his face.
Angry, Temari shoved herself away from him. He had a tendency to ruin sweet moments. "What the fuck are you smiling about, Nara?! I don't think me crying is the best moment to smile!"
Shikamaru just chuckled as he came back to her and held her waist in his hands. The curves hit in all the right places, and he looked her dead in the eyes to avoid his thoughts to linger. "Guess I have the right to call you a crybaby now."
Temari wrapped her arms around his neck as she cooled down. Then, she burst into laughter. This stress was almost too much to take for her. She never had this much emotional stress on her. "No. I cried for much more serious reasons."
Shikamaru swooped her loose hairs behind her ears and then replaced his hands on her hips. "I guess you're right. You cried after the war, not before it."
Sometimes Shikamaru's voice would become soothing and calming, almost hypnotizing to her. It was a voice she knew only in this place. In their place. There was an effortless way to him that was mixed into his laziness, and over the years, Temari began to appreciate it.
Temari kept her arms around his neck as she pushed herself closer to him. "I never wanted you gone, you know. I just hated what we had to do. What I had to do to win. For me, it was as simple as figuring it out with a damn Shoji board." She kept her eye contact even though everything told her to look away. "Every death follows me now. We wiped out squads that tripled our man force. We should be dead, but your intelligence saved us. And you saved me several times through all of it, and our lines blurred."
Shikamaru moved his hands to her lower back and held her lightly. She wasn't going to move away from him anytime soon. "They were meant to blur. I went through scenarios in my head, and I thought through all the different steps of my life. You were the most important person and the best aspect to the plans." Shikamaru kissed her forehead as he continued. "We all have demons, Temari. That doesn't mean we can run from them."
Temari began to whisper then, uncharacteristically so. Gentle was not in her nature. "But these demons force you to run."
Shikamaru again kissed her, but this time he aimed for her lips. They were smooth and delicate just like years before. He just couldn't take her in as much as he liked. He bit her lip gently, and then he whispered to her, feeling her breath release. "Then let me run with you."