.°.No Point for Tears.°.
.•.Defiance to Compliance.•.
The commencement day of our not-so-long of life together was finally there. The ceremony was merely minutes away. My hazels reflected back at myself within the mirror I sat in front of, taking in the sight. I was a bit too skinny but the white puffy dress offset that. My hair was done up with calculated strands left down in waves, I wore the same jewelry my mother did on her wedding day… such a day should be the happiest in a girl's life and even with death looming just around the corner it was for me.
Because, unlike my defiant soon-to-be husband, I had accepted what was to come.
That was when my eyes focused on the other in the room with me, my teary eyed mother, "are you okay with this?"
"Yes," she gasped before finally letting the tears trickle down as she walked up to wrap her arms around my shoulders. "You have given me so much, sweetheart."
"I have?" I murmured back, could she really outweigh all the pain with joy? I wanted her to, so much. It was those who I would leave behind that had it worse in my opinion. I got to move on to whatever was beyond life; they had to linger with the agony of loss.
"Of course," she insisted as she grabbed her purse and took out a photo of my graduation, holding it so tightly in her hands as she showed it to me. "And now the marriage photos will be wonderful as well. Inuyasha is a good man, sweetheart. You're lucky you found him and he's lucky to have you, too. Never feel bad about all this, darling, I got to see my little girl graduate from high school and now get married. You father's going to be able to walk you down the aisle; this is a great gift to us."
I took a deep breath in as I looked to the mirror and smiled before standing up to go out to where the music was playing, that was my cue. My lips only lifted all the more when I saw my dad standing there, holding out his arm to allow me to take it.
"You look beautiful," he whispered before planting a kiss upon my forehead, "I've never been happier for you."
"I love you, too," I replied, "thank you, daddy."
Then my stare shifted down towards my husband and I couldn't help but smile all the more. Truly, seeing Inuyasha in a tux was a gift in and of itself. I bet he hated to wear it… but he did it, for me. He would have been satisfied with a small ceremony or none at all. A big one made him a bit uncomfortable but… he did it for me.
And I did it for my family and friends. Showing them that I was happy, that I'd be happy, maybe then they would be too?
Inuyasha smiled at me as I walked down, just as I did to him.
Our honeymoon was wondrous, completely carefree for the both of us. At least for a time I could make him forget I was going to be leaving him before either of us really wanted to. Night after night, morning after morning, and all the times in between we… preoccupied ourselves enough that the thought never came up.
He asked once after a particularly steamy session, the sheets spewed across our tangled legs, his hand delicately forming designs on my back, a question that stung, "did you ever want kids?"
Did because really 'do' was a bad way to phrase it, he must have been thinking about it a lot, figuring out exactly when and how to ask.
"Yeah," I whispered back, "but after I found out I was… terminal, I knew I couldn't. Not only would I simply not be able to," since that meant me going off my treatment, I'd probably be dead before I could deliver, "but I wouldn't want to have a child I could never know. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Do… you want one?"
"I never really considered it," he confessed as he planted a kiss upon my shoulder. "But… in an alternative reality where you were… healthy, I would have liked the possibility."
The silence that swirled around us made him say swiftly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay," I murmured back as I looked up to him. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he answered as he leaned down to press his lips to mine.
Sweet moments like that were what I cherished, sure we got into fights—which I was grateful for, I would have hated him holding back out of pity—but we had way more good moments than bad. Even at the boring times when he had to study, I'd be there to message his shoulders.
After high school I got a part time job so that we could live together, but I made sure I only worked when he did so we still had time together. For the most part, I kept up are apartment, it was the small chores that actually made me happy.
Our vacations were wonderful as well, Kyoto, Osaka, Sapporo, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and the Jeju islands off the coast of South Korea. Though, it was raining most of the time we were there. Not that that mattered, we found a way to past the time in the hotel.
I remember right after his graduation from college—yes, he did it, just as he promised me he would—I was on a walk all alone. Gradually, my health began to get worse. I didn't wallow in my own self-pity; I hadn't done that in a long, long while. Since I accepted what was to come.
Granted, I wouldn't have as long of life as those around me, but twenty wonderful years was good enough for me. But what I did have to wonder about, all the time, was what could I do for Inuyasha to make him feel better—what can I leave for him?
Flowers wilted away, food's no good, and I'm no artist, so what…? I had made sure to set up plenty of times for Souta and him to hang out; they had obviously bonded and would at least have one another to lean upon once I was gone. For that I was grateful, but I still wanted there to be something else for him to take his mind off of the misery that was sure to suffocate him for a while… no matter how much I'd beg him not to be sad once I was gone, he'd never promise a thing.
Then I saw the most adorable thing in the story I walked by and smiled before going in. A pet shop, who would have thought I'd find my answer in there? A little white pup caught my attention the most, the poor runt was in the corner while the rest wrestled around. I playfully pouted before picking her up to lift her high enough to see that she was a girl.
"Hello there," I greeted cheerfully, "want to come home with me?"
"Great pick," the shopkeeper declared as he came up to me, a pimply faced teen. "That's a bichon frises, two months old, isn't she adorable? They're smart, well mannered, easy to potty train, and live forever."
"Really?" I chimed, turning my attention to him right away as I began to cradle the little puppy against me. "Why do you say that?"
"My grandma has two," he answered with a grin, "one's nineteen the others twenty. Crazy, huh? And I don't see them crocking anytime soon. Granted, one is blind and the other has some issues walking but it's nice."
"I think so," I answered, "I'll take her."
It would be my graduation gift to my dear husband. Something that he could take care of, pay attention to, an adorable little fluff ball that could get him out of his gloom.
"A fucking dog?" Inuyasha inquired as he bent his black brow ever so high, "seriously, Kagome?"
"You don't like?" I pouted before I started to scratch my puppy's ears, "she's so cute. I think it's a wonderful gift for graduating. I loved seeing you in the robe with that funny hat."
"Shut up," he muttered with a sour stare before he turned his attention to our dog. "Seriously… a dog? I'm an inu-hanyou, ya' know?"
"I didn't actually take that into consideration," I had to admit as I looked up at his ears, "good thing I didn't get a cat, huh?"
"Haha," he sighed before his brows bent together to look over me. I was weak and withering away before him and it killed him. He had to protect those he loved yet he could not stop my impending death. I promised to make it to see him graduate… and it wasn't that I gave up after that, it's just I accepted it.
It was compliance with the cosmic way of things.
"I love you," he whispered as he reached out to take the dog from me, "thanks, Kagome."
"Take good care of her," I ordered with a pout as I handed her to him, "she's just and itty bitty puppy that needs to be protected."
"We'll take good care of her," he countered, "won't we? You can keep fighting this thing, the doctors never really thought you'd make it this long but you did."
"Honey," I sighed as I walked up to plant a kiss upon his cheek, "I'll stay around as long as I can. I'm sorry but I accept all that's to come, I'm ready to go. I'm sorry that you're the one that has to suffer but I'm certain I'll be going to a better place. We'll meet again."
"Kagome, don't say that," he rejoined with a shake of his head, "don't say shit like that. I don't want to lose you."
"I love you," I answered and that was the best I could do. I could tell him that we don't always get what we want, I don't want to die at the age of twenty, but I accept that. Just as he'll eventually have to accept losing me, so I added, "be happy, Inuyasha, once I'm gone. Find someone who makes you happy."
"You make me happy," he insisted, "really fucking happy."
"Language," I taunted as I tapped him upon the nose. That a got a smile out of him finally, and I couldn't help but laugh when our dog began to lick him upon the cheek…
… but within a week I was gone.
"Aiko, come here," Inuyasha ordered with a wave of his hand, the fully grown dog reluctantly returned her attention to her master and away from the tree she was ever so interested in. "I said, come."
A small whine left her as she began to prance up to him as he sat upon the bench; he made sure to pet her to show that it was okay. A reward of sorts for being so obedient, which she wasn't always—really, half the time she did what she wanted regardless of what he said. But he loved her, dearly.
"Seriously, I wonder sometimes," the woman beside him whispered with a small smile upon her painted lips as she shook her head. "Do you love that dog more than me?"
"Aw, of course I do," he taunted as his golden gaze shifted to the dark brunet beside him before down to her left hand where a ring shined in the sunlight. "I love you, though, babe."
"I know," she replied as she raised a hand to rub his shoulder, "so, how do you want to celebrate your promotion? You're now a manager, the big boss."
"Yeah, that's me," he laughed while he pressed his lips together.
"You miss her," he heard her said so lightly that if not for her advanced ability to hear he wouldn't have.
"Why do you say that?" he questioned as he glanced up to meet her big brown eyes, the thing that first attracted him to her. It went against his will but… she broke down the barrier he had built. He didn't think he'd know happiness again, he never thought he'd get married, but… Souta gave his blessings, along with Mrs. and Mr. Higurashi. They were more than accepting, they were encouraging—they wanted him to be happy.
And so would Kagome… but it hurt off and on all the same. There'd always be that small ache in the center of his.
"You get this look on your face every time you're thinking of her," she replied tenderly, "it's okay, Inuyasha. I can't imagine… losing your mother then your first wife like that? I'm so sorry, sweetheart."
"But you could," he countered as he sat up straight to take her hand into his, that was another thing that he liked about her. She had a broken past, just like him, parents died when she was young so she had to rough it out and take care of her younger sister all the while. "I miss her, I'll always miss her, but… she wanted me to be happy. And I am."
"So am I," was her whispered reply before she leaned forward to plant a kiss upon his lips.
He could have fought it forever yet there was no defying fate—it took her away. And if she was somewhere that could see him he didn't want to disappoint him being draped in depression. That's why he'd force himself out into the world.
It took so long for him to realize… there was no point in tears. What time he had with her was a gift, not a curse.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed. Thank you all who reviewed.