I feel like I'm in a rut in my fanfic style, so I decided to do a first-person, Butters' POV fic. I mean, if I'm going to spend time writing these, then I should practice different writing styles, right?

Uhm, I own nothing, and enjoy.

I can make out a skull, a kitty, and what resembles Tweetie Bird's head on Eric's ceiling. He's snoring softly as he's curled up next to me. My arm's wrapped around him while his own hand lies limply on my chest.

This episode wasn't so bad. Not like some others. At least his room is still in tact. He just wanted me to hold him. I can do that. I've always done that, why stop now?

These attacks are becoming more frequent. He use to be able to hold it all in, pretend he didn't care, that nothing was wrong, but I guess he's had enough. Eric isn't happy with his life; he tells me this all the time. He's not happy that his mom's a whore, that his dad is, was,a ginger, that his brother is legally insane. But most of all, he isn't happy that he's a boy.

I should have seen that one coming. He was always the most willing to dress as a girl. I should have said something to him instead of video tapping him dancing in his backyard dressed as Britney Spears. I suppose I always thought it was a phase he was going through, or some game he picked up from one of his mom's 'friends.' But I was wrong. It wasn't just a phase, and he really didn't feel right.

"Mmm…mmm…" Eric's tossing in his sleep and he's whimpering. I wish I could help him. I feel so helpless. He's so confused; he doesn't know what he wants.

The first night he told me his secret, I asked him if he wanted me to call him Erica instead, that maybe he should let his hair grow, see how it feels. I think that offended him though since he started crying again. He told me he didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to be a pervert like Garrison. He didn't know why this was happening to him.

Eric told me how he felt uncomfortable with having something between his legs. That in class he sometimes envied the other girls, and didn't know why.

Though everyone thinks he's the…dominant one in the relationship, they don't know it's really me. He moans and sighs, he tells me how much he loves having me inside him, how it feels so good and right. Only once we traded off, but Eric hated it, so we haven't done that again.

I'm so useless, I don't know what to say and I just make everything worst. But he still holds me so tight, he doesn't want me to go and he buries his head in my chest. He wants me to kiss him and to love him. He told me the only thing he was sure of was me. So now I make sure I'm always here during these episodes. I hold him and tell him it's okay and that I love him.

Aaannd…yea, Cartman isn't happy, the poor dear.

Reviews/Comments/Critiques/Etc. Mucho Appreciated!