A/N: And now, something with Negi in it that that isn't one big crack-fest, with a bit more bite…
Smiles innocently, whistling as he thumbs through the reviews of Equal and Opposite Attractions…
Overlords and Overkill
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Chapter 4: "Fights! Erotica! ACTION!" or "Something With Negi In It That Isn't One Big Crack-Fest. I Mean, Yeah, The Crack Is Great, But Every Now And Then You Need Something With A Bit More Bite To It"
Disclaimer: Neither Negima, Nanoha, Disgaea nor any other series featured here belong to me. Please don't sue me. I am now a member of the Trope Pantheon, in at least 3 groups! WORSHIP ME!
Negi wasn't seen for the next three days, which was immediately noted by his tutoring group, the literature club he'd gotten involved with, the fellow teachers he sometimes went on karaoke with on Saturday nights, and the nice old lady whose laundry he help put away on Sundays. Stories of what he had been doing somehow filtered down to the relevant people. By Monday, the school was buzzing with rumors.
"Did you hear?" Mimi told Sora. "Negi-sensei was banned from a pool because all those girls yesterday took him to one and started taking their swimsuits off!"
"I heard there was this giant fight in the park over marshmallows!" Yamazaki said.
"I heard he was attacked by time-travelers, aliens, espers and sliders!" Haruhi cried.
"Oh, get bent, Suzumiya," Alisa grumbled.
The blonde was in a foul mood, mostly because the author had always wanted to say someone was in a foul mood. She'd been poked and prodded by Amy, Mary, and lots of other TSAB people over the weekend, and the most they could say about her newest unwanted fashion accessory was "Wow, ain't that weird?". It wasn't a device, and apparently not a Lost Logia, but it WOULDN'T! COME! OFF! They'd even tried prying it off with Bardiche's scythe and Laevatein. Nothing.
Suzuka patted her friend on the shoulder. "Cheer up Alisa-chan. At least it seems to go with everything."
Nanoha gave a heartrending sigh that froze the blood in Alisa's veins. She looked up in time to see Nanoha staring at her soulfully. "Such sad eyes…"
"We're already friends!" Alisa cried. "You don't need to do anything to me anymore!"
"Down, Nanoha-chan," Fate chided.
The door slid open, and Negi stumbled into the room. Everyone stared. There was various distinctly shaped marks on his face and collar, and his jacket was rumpled. "Um, good morning class. Please settle down."
Hayate-stared intently at Negi's collar. "Sensei…" she said slowly. "Are you wearing a blouse?"
"Are those lip-marks?" Kyon said.
Negi twitched. "I'd rather not talk about it…" he said. "Will everyone please open their books…"
The train from Uminari arrived at Mahora around noon. Any hopes of managing to sneak back into campus were dashed when they found Nitta, Takamichi, Professor Akashi, the Headmaster, Chachamaru and Evangeline there waiting for them.
"Eva-sama!" Fuuka cried. "Did you rat us out?"
Takamichi coughed. "The classroom was empty, Narutaki-kun. It was kind of obvious."
Konoka winced slightly as her grandfather looked at them all gravely. "I am very disappointed in you all," he said, eyes hooded by his facial hair. The words contained such overtones of sorrow that it actually achieved the impossible and made the class feel guilty. Even Haruna squirmed. "I have spoken with your parents, and trust me when I say that they wish to speak to you as well. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"
There was a pause. "We were pursuing a marriage option?" Misa said hesitantly.
"MISA!" many in the class cried.
"What? We're already in trouble! And it's not like he's our teacher any more, so it's all kosher!"
Konoemon thumbed his walking stick against the floor, immediately silencing the about-to-rise hub-bub. "Be quiet, all of you! You will all return to class, where I suspect your teachers will drive this point home, and then you will all be issued detention! We will be taking steps to see that this does not happen again. Go!"
The class shuffled off under the disapproving gazes. Nitta and Takamichi herded them, making it quite obvious they were no longer trusted to accomplish this simple task without supervision. Chachamaru and Evangeline joined them, and it was immediately obvious that there was a mild spring to the vampire's steps. Those who didn't know her nature were perturbed. Those who did were utterly terrified.
"What are you so happy about?" Chisame said, breaking off her grumbling about being dragged along with the loony bin.
Evangeline grinned toothily at her, making her lean back. "Have you heard of the expression 'misery loves company', Hasegawa? Oh, of course, you have. I am about to have a lot of company soon."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kazumi asked.
"The Headmaster has decided that Ala Alba needs to be restricted so that this doesn't happen again," Evangeline practically chirped. It was creepy! "Therefore, they're dusting off one of the old spells that have fallen out of use. Do you guys remember 'Infernus Scholasticus'…?"
"Did I come off as overly unreasonable, you think?" Konoemon asked Professor Akashi as they walked back to the offices.
Yuuna's father thought about it. "I can't see how, sir. I mean, that was a pretty major transgression, leaving the school without permission. We're answerable to their parents, after all. Detention is actually pretty lenient, all things considered. And cursing Ala Alba is actually pretty sensible. If they're devoted enough to be his Ministra, then they're capable of anything." He sighed. "Yuuna included. I don't suppose you can give her an extra-difficult detention? I know what I say to her isn't going to be much."
"Soft touch," Konoemon said, smiling. "All right, but in exchange, you have to oversee Konoka's detention. And spare me the gory details."
"Soft touch," Professor Akashi accused right back.
"Grandchildren can be like that," Konoemon said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to call Nagi and Arika about an Omiai. Nothing will probably happen, but I have make the gesture."
"That will probably be punishment enough for Konoka and Setsuna," Akashi laughed.
Konoemon slumped. "Am I getting old, Akashi-kun? Am I just uncool? Or do girls really hook up that easily in this day and age?"
"They're star-crossed childhood friends brought back together by conflict, and Setsuna's been so focused on protecting Konoka, she thinks about practically nothing else," Akashi said. "Plus there's all that samurai in shining armor imagery. Look at it this way: if Setsuna were a boy, what would you think of her?"
"I suppose... Setsuna-kun is a good girl," Konoemon said, sighing deeply. "A pity we'll have to punish her too, since she was only doing her job. Hmm… have her detention be with Konoka. Something where they'll be together for some time."
"I'll see what I can do," Akashi said.
Konoemon nodded, blowing out his facial hair. "Now, if only we knew where Asuna was…" he foreshadowed ominously.
After school, Fate, Nanoha, Alisa, Suzuka and Hayate all headed for Fate's apartment for another round of attempts to try and analyze Alisa's new belt. Shamal and Reinforce were already there, ready to provide their assistance.
"This seems vaguely familiar…" Reinforce said, frowning down at it as she peered at the belt from bended knee. "I get the feeling I've seem something like this before…"
"Can you remember where?" Lindy asked.
The Unison Device shook her head. "It's pretty far back. All I have is the sense I've seen something like it before. Although…" she paused.
"Although?" Amy prompted.
"I get the feeling that Netherworlds are involved somehow…" Reinforce said.
Alisa, Amy, and Lindy froze, while Suzuka, Nanoha and Fate looked concerned. Hayate frowned, as if trying to remember something. "Netherworlds?" Alisa said breathily. "That's… that's a figure of speech, right? I mean, that's space-wizard talk for something, right? Because the phrase 'Netherworld' has a very distinctive meaning here on Earth… "
"They're… an informal term for certain worlds in the Dimensional sea that have been deemed too dangerous or hazardous to make contact with, much less explore," Lindy said slowly. "Entry into them is forbidden, even during the ancient days."
"Not all my old owners were smart enough obey," Reinforce said darkly.
Hayate rolled forward to put a hand on her knight's shoulder.
A beeping from the hidden computer terminal ruined the tender moment. Amy frowned and, not heeding Alisa and Suzuka's presence, opened it. "Huh. That's strange. We've got a magical signature flying over the city, and it's not one of ours."
"I don't suppose some other archeologist lost another batch of Lost Logia over the city and they're just looking for it?" Alisa asked.
"Speaking of which, where is Yuuno-kun?" Suzuka asked.
"Oh, he's at the Infinite Library," Amy said, typing commands on the computer. "He's still considering their job offer. I think he's picking up his new device too. He put in an order for one since, you know, his last one found a more appropriate owner. He and Chrono will be back tomorrow, after Chrono's finished with dealing with the stuff regarding his new promotion."
Nanoha drew her toe along the floor. "He said it was all right…"
"She's just teasing, Nanoha-chan," Fate reassured her friend.
"Got it," Amy said. "It's over the park, and descending… Hayate-chan, would it be all right for Reinforce-san and Shamal-san to check it out? Between them, they should be able to handle anything."
Hayate looked over at her knights before nodding in approval. "Be careful, you two," she said.
"It's probably nothing they can't handle," Amy said, still typing away. "Probably some tourist, or at worse petty criminals or smugglers."
Nanoha frowned. "Didn't you once tell us that Earth is so out of the way you can only end up here deliberately?"
"Accidents happen," Amy said defensively. "Jewel Seeds, remember?"
Hayate turned to her knights. "You better get going," she said. She pointed dramatically. "Wolkenritter, sortie!"
Shamal raised a hand. "Can I get a glass of water first?"
Negi breathed the cool air as he performed his forms in the park. His class's– no, Mahora Highschool Class 1-A. They weren't his class anymore…– visit had prevented him from training, and he was trying to make up for a little lost time. After all, he needed the exercise. And, even he had to admit to himself, feeling the gritty, hot feeling over him, a bath. It looked like his three week non-bathing streak was about to end.
Wiping his face off with a towel, he picked up his staff, resolving to pick up some take-out on the way home. Maybe at the 7-11. It wasn't Konoka's cooking, but it did the job.
He sighed contentedly, and began to walk back to his apartment.
And that was when a giant croquet mallet slammed into him from above.
"We have activity!" Amy cried as Shamal finished off her drink. "A large burst of magical energy at the park. The readout is similar to a cartridge burst!"
"That can't be good," Alisa said.
Nanoha and Fate straightened. "We'll go with you," Nanoha said.
"I'm picking up more flight readings!" Amy said. "Four more! They're converging at the park!"
The red-clad figure raised its mallet, which began to shrink back to a manageable, if still overkill size. It look like someone had stuck a big yellow drum on a drinking straw. The flattened ground was indicatively free of red smears and broken bones.
There was a flicker, and suddenly the child-like figure's arms were being bound to its sides by white shimmering bands like solidified air and light. The threads anchored themselves to the ground, binding her in place. It turned to face its attacker.
Negi stood in the traditional Magister battle pose, staff in hand, one hand outstretched and spread wide to either ward or attack. "W-who are you?-!" he demanded. "Why did you attack me?"
In answer, the crimson figure twisted, the movement endowing it's mallet with a little force as she spun it on her fingers and slammed it into the binding threads anchoring her. To Negi's surprise, the binding shattered, and suddenly she was on him, dashing forward, the mallet raised. Knowing there wasn't time to capture her again, he reacted on instinct, his staff twirling to block the haft of her weapon as she slammed it uncomplicatedly down at him.
Instinct was also all that saved the family heirloom from being shattered into so much shrapnel as he imbued it with magic to reinforce it without thinking. The force of the swing traveled down his arms and made his knees shudder, and he gasped in surprise. His body moved on its own, the butt of the staff rising to slide the mallet down one side as it swung to clip the girl on the side of the head. It was a relatively gentle blow, but even so Negi was surprised when the girl's head stopped it cold. It was like hitting a bag of sand. An Evangeline-sounding part of him screamed at him to take this situation seriously, stop being a gentleman and kick her ass. It even called him boya.
The girl darted back, making a hand gesture. Four balls bearings flew into the air, and suddenly expanded to about the size of a large man's closed fist. "Schwalbe Fliegen!" The mallet swung, striking the balls and launching them at Negi with lethal force. Negi shundo'd under and past them, staff sweeping wide to try and sweep the girl's legs out from under her. The blow connected, but she just spun in midair like, her own mallet sweeping to take his own legs. He managed to avoid her in time, only for his instincts to scream at him to get out of the way. He leapt, back-flipping in time to see the steel balls plow through where he'd been standing, plowing violently into the ground, which erupted with disproportional force. This seemed to expend them, and Negi made a note of the redirectional abilities.
"Can't we talk about this?" he called, though he realized it was futile. This girl had a look in her eyes like the production model Chachamaru's from the school festival, so long ago: dead, blank, empty. He didn't like calling people dolls, especially given how many he'd head it used so often as a derogative, but this girl truly was a doll. A puppet on invisible strings. And unlike Chachamaru and her sisters, it was completely empty, the strings its only motive force. Still, he had his doubts. He had to be sure, and there was only one spell he could think of for testing this. he hoped no one ever found out about this…
"Raskil Mastel Magister!" he incanted, casting his most dreaded spell. "Flans Exarmatio!"
The results were… surprising.
The hat on her head blew off, and the mallet in her hands was violently ripped away by winds. Besides this and her skirt suddenly lifting, revealing her hot pink underwear, she was completely unaffected, beyond her clothes seeming to shimmer red.
What…? Magically constructed clothes? Negi thought, recalling Takane-san's shadow armor. That was the only explanation he could think of for how that spell had been defeated. Some kind of armor then.
The girl turned, leaping for her fallen mallet. Before she could reach it, however, Negi had shundo'd forward, his knee slamming vertically into her stomach. He felt the resistance of the armor, was able to roughly gauge its protective abilities by judging how much of his force it had neutralized. The girl barely grunted at the impact that was already risking internal hemorrhaging in an adult, one fist swinging in a backhanded swipe for his face. He slammed his palm into her elbow to catch the blow, using his position to leverage her arm behind her, slamming her to the ground, one knee on her back. The girl struggled fiercely, still trying to buck him off or reach her mallet.
"Who are you?" Negi demanded, trying to question her. "Why did you attack me?"
It gave no response, merely continued struggling.
Negi was about to ask again, for all the good that would do him, when the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly rose in a distinctive way. His scalp prickled, and tingles seemed to run down the hairs on his arms. He knew what was happening, and threw himself out of the way as all the telltales of a lightning spell coming together came to a head, and a cry of "Thunder Blade!". Several golden swords that crackled with electricity slammed into the spot Negi had been occupying, impaling the girl in red. The girl let out a cry of surprise, before all the blades suddenly exploded in a large cloud of electrical discharge. Negi heard the familiar snap, crackle and pop as moisture-rich plants burst, the water in them flashing into steam and causing them to explode, felt the blast wave of air slam into him as the literal thunder came. He looked up and gasped.
Fate floated above him, clad in what looked like a dark swimsuit, long stockings, metal shoes, and a cape. She held some kind of metal staff in her hands, a shining, curved blade protruding from one end in a scythe. With her was a man in blue clothes, a dogs tail and ears clearly visible on him, his tanned skin looking hard and leathery; a boy with dark hair and dark, villainous-looking clothes, complete with spikes; and a blonde woman in a green dress, with a hat. All shared the same dead eyes.
"Fate-san?" Negi cried, surprised at the sudden intervention. "What are you doing?-! You killed that girl!"
Indeed, there was nothing left of the girl in red but a charged husk. Yet even as Negi watched, it seemed to dissolve into black flecks, slowly evaporating away at the edges. He had no time to examine this phenomenon closely, however, as the four of them all turned their eyes on him, and light began to gather in their hands.
Negi suddenly had a very definite image of what his Master's reaction would be to a disciple stupid enough to just stand around to get hit. Besides, hadn't this been the very first thing she'd drilled into him?
"Melodia Bellax!" he cried, shundoing out of the way as spells were unleashed. Balls of golden light, ripping whirlwinds, white spikes suddenly erupting from the ground and a directed beam of blue energy nearly all slammed into where he'd been standing, ruining the park even more. The blue beam, however, curved to follow him, its turning radius tight, and Negi hiss in frustration. He gestured and silently incanted, and the blue energy detonated on the barrier he raised behind him.
With a practiced motion, he threw his staff forward, landing feet first on it as it levitated, then quickly hit the gas as more blasts flew his way. He dodged with consummate skill, not bothering with attacking just them. they had the high ground, so to speak, a tactical advantage he had to neutralize first. He pulled up, accelerating to get above them, moving into open air.
"Flans Salvatio Pulverea!" Negi cried as soon as he was above them. wind blasted downward, pushing down the quartet. The woman and green was slammed into the ground, but the other three were quickly able to move out of the stream of air, flying to charge at him. A random thought Negi's head. I really need to learn to fly like Alb–
Across several hundred miles, he felt the man start to ignore his existence.
–er, Ku:nel Sanders does, Negi mentally corrected himself.
The three spread out, Fate and the boy quickly circling around him while the tanned man charged ahead, fists raised. Negi was unable to try yelling at Fate as he defended himself from the physical charge. His hands flashed, parrying or diverting the straightforward blows. He knew that was a strategically unsound idea though, and was nearly proven right when he barely managed to catch and swing the big man around to block a blue energy blast from the boy.
This move, however, nearly left him open to being cleaved in two by Fate's scythe. Unable to get the lightning halberd spell up and around his staff in time, he swung his bare arm with a quick unincanted spell, his Ensis Exsequence barely materializing in time to block the energy blade. "Fate-san, attacking a teacher is grounds for expulsion!"
Like another blonde who had attacked him early in his last school year, she ignored him, trying to maneuver her blade to decapitate him without breaking the lock.
Several familiar ball of pink light– Negi's forehead twinged in remembered abuse– slammed into Fate from the side, knocking her off Negi, though her scythe came dangerously close to tearing his arm open. He resisted the urge to turn and see who had intervened, darting back to give himself room. Only then did he twist his head slightly ,looking our of the corner of his eye. "Nanoha-san?"
Nanoha waved. "Hello sensei! This park doesn't seem to like you very much."
Fate was staring at him, jaw dropped. "S-sensei?"
"Fate-san? Didn't Nanoha-san just shoot you off me?"
"Oh my…" a woman who looked exactly like the woman in green Negi had blasted into the ground said, staring at him. So did the silver-haired woman in the black leather coat and outfit that looked like it belonged to that Sephiroth person Haruna drew. She even had wings, though they were black and came in pairs, making her look like some kind of hellish demon butterfly.
"Sensei, look out!" Fate cried.
Negi whirled, his footing sure if variable on his staff as the boy charged at him, his metal staff glowing blue for some kind of impact-based attack spell. Negi parried with his sword, using the blade as an extra-long forearm, sliding the spell of it as he maneuvered then lunged, the movement instinctive. The energy blade pierced the boy's chest.
Negi stared in horror as the boy grew still, then began to dissolve at the edges.
"Chrono-niisan!" Fate cried. "W-what?"
"Oh, no…" the silver-haired woman gasped. "I know what this is…"
There was a blast of intense green wind that sent Negi reeling as the other green woman rose from the trees. The tanned man charged him once more as the other Fate recovered and with a cry of "Haken Saber" launched her crescent blade at him, whirling like a boomerang. All were focused on Negi, as if the others didn't exist.
That was their undoing.
The blue man never got within range before a cry of what sounded like "Blutiger Dolch!". A ring of crimson daggers appeared around the man for an instant before they snapped inward, impaling him from all directions. "Attack!" the woman cried. "It's all right! I'll explain later, just attack! Trust me!"
Negi hesitated, still torn by the deaths of the boy and the girl in red, but Fate and Nanoha leapt into action, obviously trusting the woman's word. He had an instant to make his own decision on the matter, and his own instincts won out. He trusted his students.
He leapt forward, closing the distance to the wounded man, and with a ruthlessness that almost physically hurt and would have had Evangeline– or at least Chachazero– complimenting him, cleaved his sword straight through the man, tearing through his raised arms. There was actually an instants resistance before the thermodynamics-breaking effects of the blade pushed through, and the man was torn apart as the super-heated, substance sublimating blade split him apart, each half falling to the ground, a thin coating of absolute-zero ice on the edges.
Nanoha had rushed to fight the other Fate, while the one Negi hoped was the real Fate charged the first woman in green, the silver-haired woman behind her. The other green woman stayed back, so Negi leapt forward to assist Nanoha. The two were darting around, exchanging fire with wild, rapid, but experienced movements, in between quickly closing into melee range, her staff clashing against the scythe. Clearly, Nanoha had done this sort of thing before. Negi, unused to being in this sort of back-up attack support position– the irony of this, despite his having so many combat capable Ministra was completely lost on him– picked his shot a bit hesitantly, more used to charging in and attacking at close- to mid-ranges. An opportunity finally presented itself, however, and over Nanoha's yells asking the other Fate to talk to her, he fired. The prime-numbered array of light arrow spells launched, arching towards the other Fate, slamming into her repeatedly from behind.
Nanoha charged, striking with a spinning staff attack that Negi thought looked vaguely like something he'd seen Kaede do. She leveled the staff at the other Fate, pink energy gather to strike… and hesitated.
The other Fate lunged for her throat.
"Flans Salvatio Pulverea!"
The blast of intense wind barely knocked the other Fate away, but gave Nanoha precious moments to raise her staff in a guard position, deflecting the scythe from her neck. Blood welled from a long line on her cheek nearly to hear ear, and she cried out. There was the faintly ionized smell of burnt flesh.
Negi saw red.
He didn't remember activating Magia Erebea. After training with it in Mundus Magicus, it was just another instinct to him. The words to White Lightning leaped from his lips, and suddenly he was speed itself, tearing through the sky like a god. His fist slammed into the other Fate, doubling her over. There were several sickening, horrible cracks. Her chest felt wrong in his hands.
And thus, all hell began to break loose…
Tink looked up from where he was trying to urge Rosalin to eat, scowling as Asagi flounced in. "Thereh youh areh!" he said. "Whereh haveh youh beenh? Dinnehr wahs gettingh cohld!"
Asagi threw the spent bottle of 'ACME Concentrated Pokemon Sweet Scent' she'd sprayed all over Negi's towel in the trash. "Oh, you know," she said, smiling brightly and winking at the readers. "Around."
"Whoh areh youh winkingh aht?-!"
- To be continued...
A/N: That enough 'bite' for you?
I have Asagi, and I'm going to use her, darn it!
Not like that! Get your minds out of the gutters!
Negi is smart enough not to make Magia Erebea his opening move, as he knows to limit that. After all, to use it right away in any situation would be a lethal overreaction in the long run.
Nanoha-wise, this is before Fate, Nanoha and Hayate all decide to join the TSAB. The Wolkenritter are in, but only as part of their 'community service'. The reason they're still on Earth is because they're attached to Chrono's group, which is still on Earth. Elements of Infinity by Mozco and Ferret Lantern from my own 2814 series might show through these versions of Yuuno and Chrono. I intend to promote them from plot-device characters. BOY POWER!
Yes, Haruna draws Sephiroth doujin. I'll leave the content up to your (shuder) imaginations. Personally, I'm voting Rule 63 being in effect.
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.