Written with whitetyger123. It's roleplay format, because I didn't want to mess with it too much, and... primarily because I had no idea I'd be putting it up. I hope it's as much fun for you to read as it's been for me to write.

He had known it was a terrible idea to take this particular physical education course. He had known from the start, because that scary dark-skinned Turkish coach was the one who taught it, who made the routines and whipped them into shape (almost literally; Tino felt pretty slavish at the moment). But nooo, he just had to improve his self-image, just needed sooo desperately to prove to himself that he could survive the course expectations.

What a load of-

"SLOPPY WORK ETHIC," an only-too-cheerful-to-be-egging-on-children voice rang. "Don't tell me you're giving in on the third stone up, Väinämöinen."

He whimpered, not even daring to look over his shoulder. Surely he was higher than that; he felt like he could fall to his death at any minute. Tino's hands were slippery enough to drown the ocean in sweat, he was sure, and the bell at the top was just way too high.

"Get a move on!" barked Coach Adnan, "I've got at least another dozen brats that need to climb this wall, and we don't have all day."

Tino quickly wiped his sweat-slick hand on his t-shirt and reached up with a shaky arm for the next stone, grasping it for dear life.

"I don't want to do this anymore," he whimpered to himself, starting to feel dizzy. Put him in a firearms class any day and he'd go crazy with power and authority, but put him on a rock wall and ask him to climb, and he turned to metaphorical goo.

Damn his height. Berwald had been in Fine Arts when his PE teacher had asked him to help out. When he got to the gym, it seemed that all he was needed to do was put away equipment on the top shelf. If they couldn't reach it, why did they have to make them so high?

When he was done with that, the tall blond left the room, and came face to face with the most delightful sight. A round bottom, quivering at just below his eye level. Eyes widened fractionally behind his spectacles, and he stood to watch for a second. When he tore his eyes away from the two globes, he saw a shaking hand reach up before going back to the rock it had been on previously. But it was the small squeak he heard that propelled him into stepping forward, and plucking the boy from the wall.

Tino's initial reaction was, 'Oh dear Lord, I'm falling. I knew it! I knew this would happen!'

His second was motion sickness and coming to terms with his death.

His third was relief because death had really strong arms and was pretty gentle in lowering him to the ground.

And the last was complete and utter terror, because death had the scariest face he had ever seen.

"Ohyaa!" he cried, and when his fellow schoolmate seemed taken aback by the outburst, the Finn came to his senses and began to laugh nervously, his legs a little wobbly. "A-ah, thank you! I th-thought I was going to die up there, haha!"

Squinting down at him, Berwald tried to make out the blurry figure. His glasses had fallen off when the shorter boy's ass, (soft, soft ass) had brushed against his face. But, he still inclined his head in a nod, and tried to search the ground for his glasses. This was very inconvenient, how was he supposed to ogle his damsel in distress when he couldn't see?

Maybe a little abruptly, he pushed the 'damsel' out of the way so he could retrieve his glasses. Ah yes, this was much better. He was never very good at reading faces, so it didn't really register that the look on his face was slight terror. Berwald lifted a hand, and pat him on the head, feeling his soft hair. "Name?"

Tino blinked. "E-eh? My name? Ahaha, what's my name..." He tittered nervously, the syllables making their way out of his mouth on their own. "Tino. Tino Väinämöinen. It's a mouthful, I know, but you get used to it after a while, really..."

Wow. He was... he was pretty tall, this guy. Tall with a super scary expression, but his features... well, they weren't exactly hard on the eyes. A chiseled jaw, long, thick neck, broad shoulders... oh wow, those abs weren't bad, either...

Tino could have hit himself. Checking out a dude's abs? Really? He shook his head to clear it of the thoughts. "W-well, thanks again, um...?"

After another pat to Tino's head, Berwald gave a curt nod and left. The glue on his bird house should be dry by now, after all.

Laughing, Mathias hit his friend on the back. "Man, you look like you just saw a ghost! And that ghost tried to eat you!" The Dane had thought it would be fun watching Tino trying to climb the rock wall, but it was even better to watch him in front of The Beast! He turned to his boyfriend, who seemed to be... well, it looked like he was watching the soccer game outside. "Hey Christian! Christian! Did you just see that Christian? Christian, wasn't that funny? It was like totally funny, wasn't it Christian?" If he said his name a few more times, maybe he could get him to turn around.

Tino cringed. "It couldn't have been all that funny," he mumbled, and Christian waved a hand without turning around.

"It was hilarious," he deadpanned to get the Dane off his back about it. "My sides are splitting from all the laughter I must hide."

Tino watched the tall boy go and turned to the cackling blond. "Um... who is that? I've seen him around, I think. He looks kind of familiar."

"He's in my Biology class. His name is like... Ber... Bert. Yeah, something like Bert." Mathias said, annoyed that he still didn't have Christian's undivided attention!

Shaking his head as he got down from the rock wall, Eduard retrieved his glasses from his pocket. "His name is Berwald, actually. You should know that, Mathias, you sit right next to him." Not to mention that his Norwegian boyfriend wasn't in that class, so it wasn't like he had anything taking his mind off things.

But the tallest of the group was currently uninterested, because he was going for Christians hat. If he didn't want to pay attention to him, then he would just have to.

"Berwald... Berwald... where have I heard that name before...?" Tino pondered it for a bit, watching blithely as Christian sucker punched Mathias for even making a move toward his hat.

In fact, he pondered it for the rest of the school day, until the bell rang and all thoughts that weren't of the party Mathias was taking them to flew from his mind.

Tino, as a general rule, wasn't really a party person. He was very much content to just stay at home, curled up in a quiet room with a book or some homework. He didn't get the same high as other kids his age did with all the mingling and dancing.

But Mathias had promised vodka- the good stuff, none of the cheapo stuff, and who was he to deny himself a drink or twelve? So he gathered up his things and headed home to prepare for a night of lonely boozing at some guy's house.

Christian was stalking forward, fully knowing that he was backing Mathias into a corner. "Why would you tell me to be here a whole hour before everyone else shows up?"

Smiling nervously, Mathias waved his hands, jolting when his back touched the wall. "W-well you see, I just thought it would be nice, y-you know, both of us, alone..." He didn't finish, for fear of his life. But then he found the handle of a door, so he quickly ran inside and closed it behind him. "We are dating, you know!" He yelled through the door, confidence back. It was quickly followed by a fist hitting the other side.

"Right," Christian hissed through the door, "we're dating. Which makes it perfectly all right to withhold intimate relations with you."

He stepped back from the door, intent on perfecting the refreshment table, huffing quietly to himself. "You must be an idiot to have all this alcohol out," he said, knowing the Dane could hear him. "You know you're going to get busted by the police again. And if you let Tino near it, there is no hope for any of us."

The Dane opened the door and pouted, making sure that if need be he could close it again. "But you like the sex! Like when I pull on your curl, or when I rub your-!" He closed the door quickly again as a glass was hurled at his face. The doorbell rang, so he quickly ran up the stairs. Well, at least Christian wouldn't try to murder him if there was someone else there. Hopefully.

"Tino! Glad you could make it!" He hugged the little blond, making sure to let go as soon as his face started to turn purple.

"O-oohyaa, of c-course, Mathias..." he coughed, smiling a little warily. The Finn could not help but notice that the house was otherwise very empty and quiet. It made him wonder, a little self-consciously, if he was way too early.

It helped to ease the weirdness at the thought if he reminded himself that someone had to arrive first.

"You look a little pale... is Christian out for your life again?"

Laughing a little too obnoxiously to be believed, Mathias led him downstairs. "What are you talking about? We are just as happy as a couple can be, you know. Um here, let me hold the door for you and you can go in first." That is what a gentleman should do, right? "Oh watch out for glass."

"Glass- AAH!" He swerved just in time, guarding his face with his arms as something shattered against the wall beside him.

"Oh. Hello, Tino."

The shortest of the three paled, frowning deeply. "Don't throw things like that! It could really hurt someone!"

Expressionless violet eyes flickered toward Mathias for a moment. "That's nothing short of the point."


"Hey look, alcohol!" Mathias said, hopefully diverting attention. Once Christian had a drink in him or two, he would forget about his lust for blood, and be easier to lead to an uninhabited room. Of course, that always ran the risk of there not being anything left for everyone else once Tino started drinking, but if it got him laid he really didn't give a crap.

Pouring a drink for himself, he was interrupted as there was a knock at the door again. "I'll be right back!" But before Mathias got to the door, he stopped, and grabbed a few of the bottles of vodka so Tino wouldn't down them all.

Tino watched them go with a very distinct "aww" face before turning to the rest, eyeing them hungrily.

"Moderation, Tino," Christian advised, pouring a small amount, regarding it for a moment, and then holding it back slightly from Tino's grasp. "This stuff is terrible for your liver and your kidneys and it's probably why you're so fat. As a good friend, I should keep it away from you."

Tino pouted. "As a good friend, how could you call me fat?" He reached for the bottle, leaning against the table. "Besides, once you start mingling, I'll be all alone. I won't feel lonely with this... erm... why are you staring at me like that?"

The Norwegian cocked a cool eyebrow at him.

"Did you just suggest that I mingle?"

Tino opened and closed his mouth for a short moment before tipping the bottle up, obscuring his view of his friend and letting the harsh liquid flow down his palate.

Through the next ten minutes, many more were added to the party. Mathias made sure that they all knew to keep it downstairs, and that the rooms were off limits. He wouldn't want to walk in on someone else doing the dirty when he dragged Christian there! After all, one of the reasons he had planned this party was because he hadn't mixed his mayonnaise with Christian's fudge maker in nearly a month!

At the beverage table, Eduard yelped as his hand was almost bitten off when he tried to take a sip of Tino's drink. "Well, don't come whining to me when you get alcohol poisoning and they have to pump your stomach." He humphed.

Tino giggled, hiccupping once and leaning heavily against Eduard. "Pleeease, I'm Finnish. I was born with an iron..." He took another swig, searching his mind for the words. "...an iron... what were we talking about again? Ooh, kittens!" He swayed over to the fluffy little scamps he saw across the room, reaching out and petting at them. Thanks to alcohol and terrible depth perception brought on in consequence of his imbibing, he missed, and nearly toppled over.

Something... er, someone caught him around the waist, luckily enough. "Bad kittens," he scolded, "running away from me like that."

Cold laughter shattered his happy drunkenness in a near instant. "Aha, you like my sweater, da? Katyusha knitted it for me. I like the kittens too."

"That's great, Ivan," a feminine voice said near his ear, and Tino looked up.

Elizaveta's chin was right near his ear. "So that's why my back is all soft and squishy." He nodded sagely, looping his arms around his friend. "Elizaaa, where are the Schnapps?"

She shook her head and pulled him away from the Russian and his drunk-magnet kitten sweater and propped him against a wall, patting his cheeks. "As hard as it is to deny that cute face, I think you've had enough to drink tonight."

Tino pouted. "Boooo, but the party's just begun!"

"You're right," she said cheerfully. "It's only been an hour and you've already made your way through half of the booze."

"Yooou," he crooned, tapping her chin (missing the mark on occasion) with his index finger, "should have some, too. Maybe it'd," he hiccupped, "loosen you up a bit."

She snorted, wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him upright as he kissed her cheek. "Oh no, I know better. Someone has to make sure Roderich doesn't get anywhere near that white devil. Gilbert is hell on earth by nature, but he's the ultimate terror with alcohol. And I don't want to deal with him if I'm not drinking."

"There is a very obvious solution to the problem," Tino said, the serious expression on his face offset by the glazed look in his eye and his tipsy sway. "Drink!"

They were interrupted as Arthur came crashing down between them, being possibly the only other person that could, and would, out-drink Tino. "God save the Queen! Now shiver me timbers or ye shall walk the plank!" He thrust his hand in the air as if he had a sword, which he obviously didn't.

Elizaveta laughed, pushing Arthur off of them. "Aye aye, Captain." She saluted him, and laughed even more when he tried saluting her back.

"Yer a good First Mate, even with yer long hair." Then he caught sight of the drink table. "Land hoe!"

"I'll shiver your timbers," Tino slurred, attaching himself to Arthur's shoulders. He giggled. "You smell like scotch," he said, poking the Brit's cheek. "Where'd you geeet it, hmm~?"

He blew in Arthur's ear, and the drunken "pirate" began to flail.

"Ouch, geez, knock it off!" Elizaveta laughed, snatching one of Arthur's arms mid-flop in an iron grip before it could hit her in the face again. "Knock. It. Off."

"Cor blimey, she's a fright, ain't she?" Arthur said, turning to, "Lord!" ...Tino, who he realized was very, very close.

The pale boy kissed him on the cheek twice before escaping from Elizaveta like a slippery fish, cuddling the arm of the next person he saw.

"Oh, hi Tino! Ve you're hurting my arm..." Feliciano said, trying to get his limb from the drunkard's grasp before it was bruised. "Tino, let go! Ludwig!" He started crying, getting the attention of the German, who sighed.

Did he really need saving again? It's not like Tino was very strong! "Let go." He said with a firm voice, which usually worked pretty well. But this only made the small Finn start trying to kiss Feli. "Alright, that's it." Ludwig picked him up by the back of his shirt and pushed him towards Francis. If he wanted to kiss people, it might as well be someone who would kiss back.

Luckily, Tino had friends who cared for his well-being.

A split second before he had run headlong into Francis' lusty arms, a flash of utterly heroic man intercepted. "Whoa there, dude," Alfred chuckled, draping a thick arm over Tino's shoulders. "I know you can't possibly be drunk enough to go there."

Francis cursed at him behind his back, only fueling Alfred's boisterous laughter. Tino was all over that in two seconds flat, clinging to the American as if he were a lifeline (and, truth be told, at that alcohol level, he probably was). "I'd love to stay here and enjoy this moment," Alfred chirped, "but I've got people to irritate, and I don't want you in the middle if it comes to blows. Now let's see if there's anyone trustworthy... Aha!"

Tino found himself being dumped unceremoniously onto a spluttering, foul-mouthed Italian.

"Chigi, you stupid jock!" Romano yelled, shaking his fist and offering a few choice words as Alfred sauntered off. Tino coiled himself around the other lithe body, nuzzling Lovino's neck. "Ehehe, you smell nice~"

Trying to keep his dignity, the Italian tried pushing him away. "Well... I do not smell nice! Yeah take tha-!" But he was silenced as a pair of alcoholic tasting lips were pressed to his. He couldn't be kissing someone! He had a boyfr... actually, why the hell couldn't he kiss someone? It's not like he was actually dating that fucktard.

Antonio watched and clapped his hands together. "They are so cuuuute!" But quickly it became too much. His Lovi shouldn't be blushing like that for anyone but him! So the brunet pulled them apart. "He's mine!" The Spaniard tried to kiss Romano, but was pushed away.

"I am not yours! I can kiss whoever the fuck I want!"

"Boys, boys," he said, pausing for suspense. And maybe a small hiccup. "Let's not fight. No, my friends. Let's drink. Drink and love." With that he planted two sloppy kisses on each of their faces and released them, seeking out a wall. He had had enough loving for a little bit, and it was getting pretty hot amidst all of the attractive men he'd never realized that he studied with.

He pressed his back against the wall, closing his eyes and fanning himself with a hand.

"It's so hooot in here."

"Maybe you should take a walk outside."

Tino opened his eyes and smiled goofily. "Freeeyr~" he cooed, pulling the Icelander close, pressing tiny kisses to his ear.

Trying to hit away the kisses, the Icelandic boy blushed. "Why do you always get like this when you're drunk?" Oh well, better than Alfred's brother... whatever his name was, who would lose more and more clothes the drunker he was.

Speak of the devil, the almost invisible man walked by them. "But Al! Why bother putting my shirt on when no one sees me anyway?"

"Matt, put your shirt back on. Don't you dare take off your pants too. Hey I said don't take them off! Come on, this is so not heroic!" The older twin covered his eyes, not wanting to see his brother's junk when he took his boxers off as well.

Tino giggled, smooching the pale boy's hand as he watched the adorable Canadian strip. When Matthew got the tingling feeling at the back of his neck, which meant that someone was looking at him. (He was so sensitive to it because it was such an oddity.) He jumped when he noticed the Finn's leer. Tino wiggled his fingers, winking.

"Don't mind me. Please continue~"

Matthew's curl bounced happily. Yay attention! He waved back, blowing a heavily imbibed kiss.

Throwing up his hands, the heroic American exclaimed, "I give up! Just go and get raped! Have fun with Francis!" Luckily however, there was a perfectly placed maple leaf obscuring the view of his brother's neither regions.

Arthur was singing a pirate song, when he walked into the naked Canadian. "Oh, sorry lad, didn't see you there. Where are your breeches?" And then he fell, on poor Freyr. "Oh no! The ship was hit! Every sailor for himself!"

Matthew watched Alfred go and, thanks to the depressant liquid coursing through his veins, felt his eyes tear up. The Canadian hugged Arthur to him and cried into his shoulder. "Daddy, why doesn't he pay more attention to meeee?"

Arthur listened to the complaints with an oddly constipated look in his face, and after a few moments of listening to Matthew bawling, he burst into tears himself. "I-I know exactly what you mean!" he sniffled, wailing into Matthew's hair. "He's been hanging around that... that... that trollop Kiku lately, playing video games and... and... and playing video games... and... I ought to make him walk the plank!"

Tino watched the drama unfold, his lips forming a tiny little "o". "Wooow, people in love have so many problems. What about yooou?" He poked Freyr in the nose (after missing a couple of times and nearly jabbing the poor boy's eyes out). "Are you in love with anyone, Frey-Frey~?" He pecked Freyr on the lips and patted him twice on the cheek. "Talk to -hic- big brother about it~"

Crossing his arms, the white haired boy glanced over to where Mathias was trying to drag Christian out the door and to a bedroom. "No. Crushes are stupid. And just because I'm a year younger than you doesn't mean you're my big brother!" They had just been next door neighbors for their whole lives.

There was silence when a slap was heard, and all eyes turned to Mathias and Christian, the later marching away. Freyr gulped. "Uh, maybe now would be a good time for that walk..."

Tino let out a sound and nodded enthusiastically, holding on to the wall for support as he walked along, humming something to himself. Once he had passed (and kissed) at least a dozen other friends, he made his way up the stairs and out into the cold night air.

He took a deep, cleansing breath of the crisp oxygen and let it wash over him as he swayed his way down the sidewalk. It was so nice and quiet at night in the quaint neighborhood, and Tino couldn't believe he'd passed up the opportunity for a stroll for so long that night.

It was only when he started laughing to himself at all the funny thoughts in his head that he finally saw someone coming down the street. He squinted, waving his arms so that they would see him and not run him over, even though they were definitely not in a car and just walking down the sidewalk a couple blocks down.

"Yoo-hoo!" he called. "If you happen... to get in a car, could you please not run over me?" Stumbling a little closer, he could make out a tall figure. "I'm a little bit drunk, y'see, and that would just be terrible."

Berwald wondered who the person stumbling their way down the street was, and was surprised to see that it was Tino! Well, he hadn't thought he would be the type to drink so much... Did he not have a place to go? As he got closer, he could also make out the boy next to him, that looked like he was developing a head ache.

"Tino! Stop yelling at random people! I'm very sorry, he isn't like this often." Freyr was saying as they got closer to the familiar looking man. Didn't he go to their school?

Looking down his nose at the current object of his affection, Berwald coughed in his hand. "S'ok."

"Oooh, it's you!" Tino squinted up. Yep, his face was still scary, even in the dark. It should be okay if he didn't see it though, right? Right. In his never-failing logic, Tino spread his fingers over Berwald's face, giggling. "You saved me earlier, how could I think you'd run over me?" he crooned in a babying voice, standing on his tiptoes to kiss the man's chin.

Freyr blinked at him. "I think we ought to totally just leave him on the street tonight."

"Hmm," Tino hummed thoughtfully, squeezing Berwald around the middle. "I was enjoying myself... don't see the harm in it!"

Blushing slightly from the kisses to his face, the Swede tried pulling away with still not letting Tino fall. "I could take 'im." It was obvious that he was much too intoxicated to do anything, so that would probably be the best, for him to get some sleep.

Biting his lip, Freyr looked around the dark street. "Um... I don't know, I mean..." It was then that Tino went into the second faze of his drunkenness; crying. He really didn't want to deal with that. "Yeah sure, you two have fun."

As Freyr retreated back inside the warm house, the Finn's lower lip wobbled. He fell against Berwald, rubbing his face into the thick flannel shirt. "I-it's just..." he hiccupped, looking up at the giant with tear-filled eyes. "J-just that... t-this world is just so..." His voice dropped to a meaningful whisped. "Beautiful. All the baby rabbits are probably in their little holes snuggled up with each other, all nice and warm, like you..."

He sniffled. "And now I'm saying embarrassing things! Waaaah!" he wailed, clinging to Berwald's shoulders. "It's just s-so beautiful outside, Berwaaald!"

Not sure what to do, the large teen just started to lead him to his house, which luckily was fairly close. "Yer beaut'ful." He mumbled down to Tino who was wetting his shirt. This was closer than he ever thought he would get with him, so he was happy.

Before this, any crush he had would simply not pay attention to him. Berwald was fine with that, because most of the time if he spoke to them they would be afraid of him for some reason. But could this actually have a chance? Of course, Tino was still painfully drunk.

Tino squinted through his tears. "W-what?" He'd probably misheard him. He was hammered, after all, and crying pretty loudly. "You think it's beautiful, too?" He sniffled. "All the pretty mountains and the snow and the sunsets and... is that your couch? Can I lay on it? Wow, your house is roomy." He looked so far up at the ceiling that, if Berwald had not been there to catch him, he would have fallen over backwards.

Shaking his head, Berwald led him past the couch. "Bed." He couldn't let a guest sleep on the couch after all! Especially not a guest so cute and so very drunk and defenseless. But, it was only a fantasy, because he would never take advantage of someone. Especially since this was the closest to a relationship he had ever been in, and he knew how pathetic that sounded.

From a few houses down, he could hear loud music. So that was probably where Tino had gotten so drunk. Yes, it was a good thing he brought him here.

"Oooh, bed!" Tino let Berwald guide him down the hall and into a room, smiling what he could only assume was a coy smile. "Sssooo," he said in a slur that was far too drunken to be anywhere near sexy, "I bet you think that you'll get lucky 'cause I'm," a hiccup, "in... intox...intoxic... drunk!" He poked Berwald's chest to make a point and got a little distracted with how firm and delicious his pecs were. "Well... well you're... hmm, I bet your abs are great," he mumbled, lifting the hem of Berwald's shirt.

Surprised, Berwald stumbled backward. Oh no, he had no clue what to do in this situation! He had never dealt with a drunk wanting to feel his stomach. Should he just leave? Maybe get Tino a glass of water? On the other hand, he could just let him continue...

No. That could be considered rape in the court of law. Tino was very intoxicated and in no mind to make such decisions like... touching other peoples abs. Dammit, was he overreacting?

Since Tino's body mass was centered on Berwald, it followed after. "Whoops!" he said as he fell, landing on his knees. "Whoa... everything's spinning..."

Tino looked up and up and up, but Berwald's face was so distant and blurry. His lower lip wobbled and he held his hands up. "I can't see you very well," he said, his eyes pooled with unshed tears.

Now he remembered why he didn't drink very often. It made him an emotional trainwreck.

Pulling him up was made difficult since Tino wasn't helping at all. But, when he was high enough, Berwald pushed him onto the bed. He pointed to the pillow, and tried to make his voice stern as he said, "Sleep." Then he patted him on the head so he would stop crying, before leaving the room and going to get some blankets for himself. It was times like these he wished they had a big couch so he could actually fit in it.

It didn't take long at all for Tino to pass out; about two minutes, actually. But in the middle of the night, after he woke up to vomit violently in the nearest bathroom, he stumbled around the dark, strange house, a blanket draped around him, his mouth tingling like so much Crest mouthwash. He found Berwald asleep cramped on a too-small couch and seated himself on the floor, resting his head on the couch cushion, his face inches from Berwald's.

He didn't feel much like being alone.