Hunger Games Parody!
I wake up and try to find Prim's warmth. Where the heck is that girl? She probably got scared and climbed in with my mother, of course she did, I haven't bathed in weeks!
Ow! Something bit me! I turn to see Buttercup, Prim's cat, latched onto my arm. "You stupid cat!" I say. I chuck him at the wall where he blows up. "That's what you get!" I yell at him. Any way today is the day of the Reaping and everyone has off work, and I don't have school. So I slip on my hunting boots and get up. But I have neglected to tie them so I trip and fall. Prim gets out of bed and punches me in the face. "Shut up I'm trying to sleep!" she yells at me. I push her down and stab her in the foot with my arrow. "Leave me alone turd!" I yell back. She curses at me and walks back to bed.
Once I have tied my boots properly I head out side to the fence that surrounds District 12. I'm still dizzy from being punched so I forget to check if the fence is electrified today. I run straight into it and get fried like a piece of fish on a skillet. I kick the fence because it deserved it and then crawled under the chain link that is loose. Now I'm in the woods and I retrieve my bow and arrows from a hollow log. An angry skunk decides it would be a good idea to spray me, he didn't live long after that.
Once I make it to the big rock I find Gale there beating up a squirrel. "You stupid Squirrel why'd you steal my bread!" he sais. By the time I make it over to him the squirrel is unresponsive. "Hey Catnip, you smell really bad!" he said picking up his bow and arrows to shoot me. I dodge the arrow, "Oh Gale you're so funny!" I say and sit down. "Someday Gale, someday," he mutters. We sit there in silence…a really long time….it was really boring! So finally I just get up and leave. He chucks a black berry at my head and then left too. By the time I get home my mom is already dressed in her usual goth outfit. After my father blew up she decided to dress like this for some reason. Prim is wearing something way too big for her. "Tuck your tale in little duck!" I say. She turns around and slaps me, "shut up I'm not a duck!" she sais.
Now it's time to go to the Reaping where they will select one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 to 18 along with the other 11 Districts to go to the Capitol and fight to the death in The Hunger Games. Only one out of the 24 kids can win which I guess you know means that the other 23 die. Well, they kill each other… and it's on TV….. fun. Anyway when we get there I say adios to Prim and she walks away and like falls or something and like starts crying and I laugh. I walk over to my section for the 15 year olds. I start to get bored so I start hitting people with my long black braid. Finally That freakin weird lady Effie Trinket goes on stage, and she's all like, "hey guys and girls! What's up! Ok Ladies first!" she walks over to this weird bowl with the girl's names in it and pulls out the first name. "Prim Everdeen!" She sais. I start laughing as Prim walks on stage. "Ha ha! No one to save you now Prim!" I yell. "Uhh ohh! I read the paper wrong! It really sais Katniss Everdeen!" she sais. I sigh. "Oh, well this District sucks any way," I say. Prim trips me on the way up the steps so I shoot her with another arrow in the foot. So then Effie picks the boy's name which is this little baker boy named Peeta or something. I thought he was mental but I guess not :/. So then Effie is all like," I give you the new tributes of the 74th Hunger games!" To be continued!