All characters © Amano Akira
Summary: A series of points, secrets, and little things that no one in the Vongola's really stopped to notice over the years. If they had, they'd probably scream.
Enumerated: We are the Mafia
12 things Rokudo Mukuro is afraid of
1. Cameras. Mukuro is not ashamed of his true form, even though he loves disguises more than any other illusionist in the mafia. He knows that he's beautiful, and he knows that everyone else knows it too. Taller than average, thin as a whipcord, and with a dignified, salient Eurasian descent, Mukuro takes pride in his looks (and on top of that, he has one hell of a six-pack, no pun on his powers intended). But he doesn't like to be recognized. He knows that if your face falls into the hands of the media, anyone can find you...and Mukuro is currently one of Italy's most sought-out fugitives. There really was no reason to have Lancia's picture as his WANTED photograph, but Mukuro did it anyway as an extra precaution. No way in hell (no further pun intended) is his going back there.
2. Doctors. Also shots, hospitals, and dentists, if you want to be specific. Long range fighting and using Chrome's body is not just for show. Rokudo Mukuro cares as much about his body as Gokudera Hayato doesn't. This is because he has no desire to set even one toe into a medical facility, and he takes certain precautions so that he will never have to. He is not germophobic or mysophobic nor a health freak, but he does prioritize physical care. Doctors always poke and prod in all the wrong places, and it's just a little too reminiscent of the old days when bland-faced men with scars and marble eyes would strap him to a gurney and...and do things. Perhaps Sawada Tsunayoshi is one of the select few who knows of Mukuro's deep-set hatred and fear of doctors, and who is aware that altering his medical records had been the only thing Rokudo Mukuro had ever asked of Hibari Kyouya. Tsuna is also probably the only one who's noticed after ten years that Mukuro has never been sick even once.
3. Honesty. Mukuro isn't sure if he hears more lies or spews them himself. Dishonestly is the mark of a flawed human, and flawed humans are normal, acceptable in society. The bad liars burn their listeners with stories too hot to take in, but Mukuro is very good. He's the teapot of BS, spouting un-truths so believable that people never get burned right away by what's coming out. Lies are used to cover up shame, insecurity, reputation. Fear. Mukuro lies about his name, his age, and the massacre of his past because it's something he does not like to face. It's the honest people who really scare him, because they are the ones who have even more confidence than he does and believe they have absolutely nothing to hide.
4. Death. Mukuro's seen the six paths to Hades, and he's seen that there is a hell. This unsettles him not because he fears going there (he figures he will anyway), but because, well...for a man who uses time and space as his local playpen, Mukuro doesn't like the fact that another world besides this one exists that he has absolutely no control over.
5. The Arcobaleno. They are the only beings as far as he knows who can cheat death. They will never age nor die if they are not killed, and Mukuro both hates and reveres them for it. Anybody that is as close to immortality as they are have earned the right to be feared.
6. Aquariums. Rokudo feels like he's honestly the only person there who knows what it feels like to be on the other side of that glass. Somehow the eyes of those creatures seem too sad, too lonely, filled with dreams of endless waves, freedom, and of a place where they once were. How old is that manatee that stares back at him? Ten? Twenty? Rokudo knows what it's like to spend years incarcerated in a glass cage with only your bubbles to count and the sound of your breath to keep you company.
7. Identity Crisis. He has been so many people and things over the years that sometimes he has to say his name aloud first thing in the morning. Along with the implantation of a foreign eye into his optical nerve came a slew of swirling memories, memoirs longer than lifespans, information and feelings that weren't even his. Sometimes he has to remind himself that he's Rokudo Mukuro, that he's fifteen (or twenty-five, depending on how close he is to the Bovino headquarters at the time). But sometimes he will remember a past life that his eye whispers to him in dreams and he's not so sure anymore. Mukuro has felt the loss of others in the span of his lifetime (and of past lives), but to lose himself too would be his worst nightmare.
8. Possession. Ironic, as Mukuro cuts subordinates with his trident on an almost weekly basis. He's afraid of two things: being possessed himself, and having the possessed turn on him. There had been one fleeting moment, during his early years in Chrome's body, where he had not been able to leave it right away when he'd wanted to, and it had terrified him. He can think of nothing more horrible than being trapped in a fleshsuit that's not his. Forever. Perhaps the only thing worse than that is having someone in his, puppeteering his limbs to do things that he would never do and stretching his lips with rubber words that he would never say. It's the feeling of displacement, of being managed that is worse than any physical pain, Mukuro believes.
9. Airplanes. It's a well-known fact that Rokudo Mukuro has control and micro-management issues. Most of his deep-set fears stem from loss of control in one form of another, this being no exception. Sitting in a contraption up at 27 thousand feet zipping through cumulonimbi at 500 mph where his life is in the hands of strangers is something Mukuro will never admit bothers him.
10. Daemon Spade. Mukuro fears things and concepts, but rarely people. Vendicare doesn't count; Mukuro sees them as more of ominous harbingers than actual human beings. Daemon Spade is the one exception, partially because he too can cheat death. The Arcobaleno can escape the grave because they are cursed; Spade can because he broke the rules. And he's been avoiding the reaper for much, much longer. But that's not what sends ice splinters down the nape of Mukuro's neck. It's the fact that Daemon Spade is literally him in every sense...including what he could become. Spade, in the end, had ended up working for the mafia. Over the course of a few centuries he also became so out-of-touch with reality that he had been easily defeated by the tenth generation famiglia. When thinking about Spade, Mukuro sometimes wonders if it isn't best just to accept death after all.
11. Reality. Mukuro doesn't mind dreams; it's the waking up that's the difficult part. He doesn't want to become like Daemon Spade, who lost the concept of reality altogether and more or less slipped into an eternal dementia. Reality cannot be warped, nor can it be erased or easily tampered with. Reality is absolute...it's your head that changes. Most illusory pundits seem to forget this fact. Mukuro fears reality because it's a place where his illusions will never reach the surface, and a place where they will never make a difference unless people believe.
12. Abandonment. Mukuro has three people in his life: Ken, Chikusa, and Chrome Dokuro. They're all he needs, and he admits to himself that he does need them. Ken and Chikusa are most likely the only living people who know what happened in the Estraneo's basement, and Chrome, like them, had also been discarded by her family like a used tissue. As much as he would like to say it to their faces, they are the world, his world, and the only times Rokudo Mukuro has ever cried have been in the cold mornings in which he awakes from a dream where their existence has never been.