A/N: Written for gilded_orchid on LJ for a fic meme; the prompt was "Five times Wheeljack and Jazz Tried to Brew High-Grade".
o n e
The first time they try to brew high-grade results in the destruction of part of the wall. Pink smoke floods the corridor in a heavy cloud and several bots end up in the Med Bay with their systems flooded with the stuff; by the time Ratchet gets everyone sober and functioning, Jazz swears Ironhide has created notes never-before heard in the vastness of the universe while singing under the influence.
t w o
The second attempt does not explode, but instead creates a brew that quickly thickens until it resembles a gelatinous mixture that clings to near anything, including the table, the walls, the beakers, and especially body armor. Wheeljack sets it aside for further testing but the batch mysteriously disappears, only to reappear within the shower facilities when several officers are undergoing their end-of-shift cleaning rituals. The mess that results will soon become a thing of legends among the annals of Epic Pranks of the Autobot Army.
Sideswipe ends up in the brig, and a somewhat sticky Prowl returns the remainder of the failed attempt to Wheeljack with the admonition to keep a closer optic on his experiments. Wheeljack sheepishly agrees to comply. Jazz is nowhere to be found.
t h r e e
The third time Wheeljack and Jazz try to brew high-grade, they end up with a mixture that, while not at all appropriate as a beverage (or for any kind of consumption whatsoever) does wonders as an explosive agent when properly encapsulated. Wheeljack quickly makes up a dozen bombs and it seems that it's just in time: the alarm sounds off a Decepticon attack. Jazz grabs half from Wheeljack and they both race out to meet the enemy.
The bombs are devastatingly effective. The resulting party in the rec room lasts well into the night, although all are very careful not to accept any high-grade from either Jazz or Wheeljack.
f o u r
The fourth attempt seems to be a let-down, as the mixture lacks the punch of high-grade and is unpalatable as plain energon. Wheeljack prods at it a bit but it simply sits within its container and does nothing. Jazz eases himself out from behind the desk he'd set up as a barricade and comments with a wry laugh how anti-climatic it all was. Wheeljack turns to face him with a smile and unnoticed behind him, the mixture begins to bubble.
Neither is prepared for the pink explosion that decimates the lab. Both end up in the Med Bay for two straight cycles and Ratchet curses them both out the whole time. Prowl arrives near the end of their tenure to inform them both with steely optics that they are both banned from any more attempts, with Ratchet looming behind him in grim agreement.
Diplomatically, Wheeljack and Jazz both promise to be good.
f i v e
The fifth time, done in secrecy behind closed doors when most of the crew is asleep, results in a perfected brew but Prowl catches wind of it before they have a chance to celebrate. In a highly unfair move, he confiscates the high-grade and banishes them both to the brig to 'reflect on why we have rules in the first place'. As soon as he leaves, Jazz grins and pulls out the small stash he has managed to salvage and tosses a cube to Wheeljack; they clink their cubes together and proceed to get thoroughly charged.