The Whip Inclination
Howard walked into the apartment with a grin on his face that lit up the room.
"Oh no." Leonard sighed. "You've been to the store again, haven't you?"
"What store?" Penny asked, her mouth full of noodles.
Sheldon grimaced and dug into his tangerine chicken.
"Only the best store in town." Howard leered at her.
"You went to Payless Shoes?" Penny raised an eyebrow.
Sheldon snickered, his shoulders hunching in slightly as he shook. Penny grinned at him. She liked when she made him laugh, it was so rare.
With a flourish, Howard opened the bag and pulled something out. "This, my friends, is going to be the secret to my future success with women." He held it up triumphantly.
"A whip?" Leonard replied dubiously. "You're going to strike them till they submit?"
Howard gave him a dirty look. "Don't be ridiculous. I would never hit a woman." He paused and looked thoughtful. "Unless she asked me too, I mean a little spanking.." He shrugged. Seeing nothing but raised eyebrows he sighed. "I'm going to learn how to use it! When I can split a fly in two from across the room, what woman in her right mind wouldn't want me?"
Penny sucked on her teeth. "I had a cat that killed flies once. Left them in a tidy pile in the middle of the floor. I miss that cat."
"Howard, nobody knows how to do that anymore." Leonard shook his head. "And even if they did, once you mention 'my whip' they're going to run screaming from the room, unless they're a dom."
Howard shuddered. "I don't like pain."
"Well there you go." Leonard shrugged.
"May I see the whip?" Sheldon asked suddenly.
Everyone stared at him. Howard handed it over. Sheldon turned it over in his hands. "It's poor quality Howard, you should return it for a refund."
"Oh, like you know anything about whips." Leonard said sarcastically.
Sheldon unwound the whip and with a flick of his wrist, cracked it, sending an empty can flying off the kitchen island. "I am a touch out of practise." He conceded. "It's a basic principal of physics Leonard, everyone, with the exception of Wolowitz could master this."
"Oh yeah?" Leonard grabbed it for him and tried. He failed, the whip recoiled and caught him in the arm.
Sheldon shook his head and tsked.
"Well, if you're so good then," Howard crossed to the kitchen counter and held out a plastic fly. "Snap this in half."
Sheldon took the whip back, stood up, wiped his hands on his pants and stared at the plastic toy. "Toss it."
Howard did, the whip sliced through the air with a deadly accuracy. The fly fell in two pieces on the floor.
Sheldon dropped the whip onto the table and took his takeout container to the garbage. "If I've proved my talents enough I believe I will now retire to bed." He said calmly. "Goodnight."
Penny picked up the whip and cracked it, and the takeout container sailed out of Sheldon's hands. "Yeah, it is a little light isn't it?" She commented.
Sheldon stared at her appraisingly. He took a plastic spider off the top of the fridge and flipped it into the air.
The whip sliced again, and the spider fell to the floor in two.
The tiniest smile graced his lips. "On second thought, Penny from Omaha, would you care to retire to the roof for a slight competition?"
Penny smiled back, her eyes trailing over his tall frame slowly. "You're on, Tex."
Together they left the room.
"What?" Leonard blinked.
"Did you see that?" Howard gasped.
"Hot." Raj spoke finally. "That was hot."
"You don't think they would?" Leonard tilted his head back slightly.
"Penny and Sheldon?" Howard raised an eyebrow. "Did you not see the way he looked at her? He's totally gonna hit that."
"Oh, why would you think that?" Leonard rolled his eyes.
Raj shrugged and took a bite of his chicken strip. "Because they left the whip here."