Disclaimer: All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just playing in her sandbox.
I Do . . . Hate You
Chapter 1 By Lynzi Where it All Began
I lay on my bed and watched the endless drizzle of rain. It was not hard enough to be worthwhile, just enough to be annoying. Annoying, that word pretty well summed up this God-forsaken town. I suspect my parents moved us here to bore me to death. College was insufferable, the fellow students sucked, so small town minded, smiling at a girl had you engaged and halfway down the aisle. Gossip seemed to be their only entertainment and I smirked as I overheard what had been said about me since my arrival two years ago. First I was 'completely and utterly gorgeous", yeah, well, they were right about that, I'll give them that one. I looked at myself in the mirrored tiles on my bedroom wall.
Utterly gorgeous, no fucking doubt about that.
I smirked at myself and did my million dollar half smile that made their panties damp.
Shit, Cullen, I fancy you myself.
But then when I knocked back a couple of obvious ho's, I was suddenly labeled gay.
Not gay, I'm just saying.
I have been with a few girls and none of them ever thought I was gay, far from it.
No, I was no shirt-lifter, no batter for the other team. I liked the ladies all right, just not the boring, studious types that made up half the population at school or the cheap hussy tarts that made up the rest.
I felt no attraction to girls any boy could have, where was the challenge in that? If you knew she was going to say yes before you asked, then why bother? I go for the ones who are undecided, not sure if they will or won't, but they all do in the end. Nobody can resist Edward Cullen.
I tried not to even think about her, the one that could.
I had zero interest in her, so why the fuck does it bother me that she feels exactly the same about me? It just bugs me, okay? I don't like thinking there is a woman out there who doesn't find me attractive. I like swanning through the school, watching even the pathetic girls look up and sigh and long for me, even if most of them have a snowflakes chance in Hell I would ever give them the pleasure.
It's just how it is, right, I am the best thing that ever happened to Forks, or Fucks, as I call it myself.
Fucked up boring shithole of a town.
I hate it here and the fucking minute I blow out the candles on my 21st birthday cake, I am outa here. I will have my trust fund from my grandparents and I will spend it neither wisely nor well.
I don't give a crap what Carlisle says. Education smeducation. What they have on offer here just sucks that bad, I would rather live in a cardboard box in New York, and beg for money and eat out of trash cans and smoke the butts people toss into the gutter than stay living here and keep attending this local pathetic Community College, which is all my father is willing to pay for seeing I may have done a few things in the past to annoy him.
Man can't take a joke, you know what I mean?
That car was a piece of crap already. Emmett, my older brother, had already thrashed the guts out of it, I was lucky to get it to go over 60, until his girlfriend Rosalie' I Am So Fucking Gorgeous' Hale made a few adjustments under the hood for me when I agreed to lie to the parents about where Em was spending his nights.
He had an imaginary studybuddy, Brian, who needed a lot of tutoring, and Emm was such a good guy, he often studied well into the night with Brian, in fact, sometimes they fell asleep at the desk in Brian's bedroom and Emm crashed on the couch.
We had 'Brian's' cell number on divert, and I answered if the parents ever rang to check.
"Oh Hello Mrs Cullen, it's no nice of you to let Emmett help me with my Geography assignment, because I am such a dumbshit I couldn't even write my own name on the cover of the binder without him."
I loved how they blindly accepted Emm was helping some backward student, no questions asked. Like Emm ever helped anyone who didn't 'help him back' if you get my drift. Rosalie helped him a lot, I heard all about it when we drove to school together.
She was obviously far more flexible than I gave her credit for. She always looked so stiff and upright, like she had a steel rod up her ass, to me.
Probably shouldn't even go there, I didn't need details about Emm's steel rod and where he shoved it.
My phone rang and I grabbed it eagerly.
"James" said the called id.
Thank God for James.
Without James I would be sentenced to a lifetime of actually studying out of sheer self defence to ward off the boredom. Or wanking myself to death.
"What's happening?" I asked, ready to agree to anything he suggested.
"I'm officially fucked, Edward." he replied, sounding like the condemned man walking the green mile.
"What happened?" I sighed, rolling onto my back,but still admiring my hair in the reflection on the wall. Most of James' appeal to me was the very fact he played fast and loose and dangerous, but I knew he would get caught out someday, just not how and where and when.
Looked like today was the day.
"Bella's pregnant." he replied.
"You have got to be joking! I thought you only managed to invade that fortress once? You said she was holding out on you and you only managed to enter her holy land that once at Halloween, when you protected her from all the big, nasty ghoulies and she was sooo grateful."
"That's the truth, but the fucking luck I have, I took her virginity and knocked her up first fuck." he replied.
"So, make her prove it. Deny everything." I answered.
Of course, Bella Swan, just the one to wreck the poor bastard's life.
I was nothing to her yet she adored James, he was the object of all her desires and I am sure if he concentrated on just her, she would put out more. She got all huffy about his 'other girls', like she could ever be enough for a guy like James. She was damned lucky he looked twice at her.
"What's the point, you know it's mine, she never allowed anyone else to fucking well touch her, let alone shag her. It will come out in a paternity test, then I will look like a douche for denying it. Besides, Edward, I like her. A lot."
"Come on, James. You have your pick of every female under 40 in this town, you don't need to get hung up on the future town librarian. If you have to get tied down, go knock up Tori. At least then you will only be assured of the best fuck in town for eternity, not the most aggravating, boring nerdy wife this place can offer."
"I fear Victoria will be nothing but a memory. Bella wants us to elope and confront her parents after the fact."
"She's 18?" I questioned. Having been fast tracked and skipped a class, I was a little younger than my own peers. I could never work out how old people in each class should be.
"Yeah, just my luck. She turned 18 last week. You were invited to her birthday party."
"Oh, that sounded like so much fun, I don't know how I ever resisted. Chief of Police and his crazy wife serving Cool-Aid and cookies and playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey? I had to wash my cat that night, so I couldn't make it."
"You don't have a cat, Edward."
"Shit, I wonder whose cat it was I tossed into the washing machine then?" I laughed.
My sister Alice stood at my door and put her hands on her hips and scowled at my joke.
God knows I would be dead for real had I actually abused a cat in this house.
"Go away and shut my door and come back when you are 21" I yelled at her.
Being my twin, that would be the day I was out of here, she could come in my bedroom all she wanted once I was gone.
She could have the room, put her dollies in it, bring in her stupid uptight friends for tea parties, or whatever else stupid 20 year old girls do in packs.
I always made sure to be out when her female friends descended on the house.
"Dad wants you. He is in his study. But feel free to ignore him, then he will ground you again." she smirked. I threw a pillow at her and she slammed my door as she left.
"I gotta go see what the old man wants now. Hey, want to cut loose and have some fun tonight? If you are getting hitched to Bella Swan, you need a night to fucking remember as you settle for the missionary position every 4th Tuesday of the month on Sexual Intercourse Night."
"I don't know why you hate her so much, Edward, she is really nice."
"Then that explains it, I don't do nice." I retorted. "Eight o'clock, pick me up down the corner, I shall tell Carlisle I have an assignment and lock myself in my bedroom. See ya then."
I shut my phone and decided to call Tori and get her to bring a friend for me.
I endured the talk from my father, something about lifting my grades back to where they had been and then he said something that actually gained my attention.
". . . and we will let you attend NYU to finish the final two years. If you keep your grades up there, then I will pay for the entire tuition, especially if you extend and complete medicine. All expenses, Edwar and a reasonable allowance and a car, of my choice. If not, you get out and get a job if you want to stay and complete the course, but I expect you back with all A's by the end of this term, no exceptions."
What the fuck? My ticket out, paid for by my parents and I get to live in NY and finish my education on his dime? Sweet.
I could be an A grade student anytime I wanted, I just hadn't cared lately. In fact, it was easier for me to just do the assigned work and hand it in, it took restraint to not do my assignments, at least they were slightly more interesting than staring at my ceiling.
"Okay, Carlisle. Not a problem. It shall be done. I will knuckle down and do some catch up work tonight, so keep Alice away from my bedroom," I warned.
"I know what that means. I warn you now, Edward. Tonight is the last night you sneak out and go drinking with James, after tonight consider avoiding him as part of our deal. You get yourself some decent friends, or no friends at all, but James and Victoria are off limits or no deal."
I frowned and briefly pondered if it was worth it, but, what the heck, a ticket out was a ticket out. James and I could party if he came to NY, and the parents would have no idea.
Two more months and this school year was over and I would be gone, and my life here would be but a memory, a boring, pathetic, pale memory.
I made no effort to sneak out after dinner, I simply grabbed my carkeys and made for the front door.
My father's revenge on me wrecking the old car was to replace it with a soccer Mom Volvo.
I know he got a laugh every time he saw me driving past, let him. Wheels were wheels.
I drove to Jame's apartment and ran up the stairs.
She was there, I heard her whiny voice as I raised my hand to knock.
I sighed, did this mean tonight was off?
The door opened and James winked at me over the head of the short brunette who was still whining and had tears streaking down her cheeks.
I almost yelled at her, what the fuck was she thinking , sleeping with James and not being safely on The Pill? Bitch. Probably planned to force him to marry her all along.
I stood back and ignored her as she ignored me.
"I love you, James. This will be okay, we can do this, right? I have filed the papers, Saturday we have a booking at the Registry Office at 10 am."
"I will be there, sugar, don't worry yourself about anything. Edward, I am just taking Bella home then we can discuss that problem you are having with your car."
I shrugged, whatever excuse he gave her, I didn't care about. I had a feeling she had warned James to stay away from me, just as Carlisle had banned him from my life.
"Nice to see you, Bella, you look so amazingly beautiful tonight." I sarcastically commented, hoping she looked in a mirror when she got home and saw what an eyesore she was. Blotchy, pale at the best of times,now she was ghostlike.
She blushed and looked at me, unsure if I was being rude or not.
Stupid cow, like I would ever be nice to her. She was fucking up my best friends life. This was a massive big deal. He would do the 'right thing' and marry her, more fool him.
Carlisle's terms were probably unnecessary, like the little wife would ever let James out on the town again anyway.
Tonight had to be awesome, best night of our lives, something to file away and remember as I studied and caught u and he changed diapers and walked the floor with some screaming kid.
I walked inside his door and sat on the sofa and flicked through the cable channels that came with the apartment. Not a lot to choose from but I found a beer and lay back and let some fair haired chef who swore every second word, make some meal I would actually eat.
I rummaged through James' pantry and found some crackers and ate them with my second beer.
Bored as I was, I was better off than him. No doubt Miss Goody Two Shoes was guilt tripping him some more.
James deserved to get caught out, he never believed in condoms, and always rode bareback, but what were the chances he would knock her up, when he fucked Tori like six nights a week? Obviously she had the sense to be protected herself. Thank God, I couldn't imagine Tori with a kid. She would probably sell it on eBay, smart girl, not insist on a quickie wedding and a feeble attempt of a happy ever after. Doomed from the start, James would never change.
He finally came home and sat opposite me.
"You are really turning up on Saturday?" I questioned. "We have friends in Alaska, you could go live with them for a while."
"Edward, I want to marry Bella." he stated.
"Sure you do. Tell me you are giving up Tori and being faithful now you have a kid on the way and I will know the world is ending." I scoffed.
"I am giving up Tori, and the others, I am taking my vows seriously. Bella is what I want and I can be what she needs me to be."
"Okay, whatever you say. I shall buy you a pipe and slippers for your wild evenings in around the fire while the baby screams with colic...maybe I should buy you a shotgun instead, on second thoughts."
"I would never hurt Bella or my kid." he answered gravely.
"No, but you might want to put yourself out of your misery." I told him.
"You don't get it at all. She deserves me to do my best for her and the kid. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't marry her and be her husband and be faithful, and be a father to my own kid, Edward. I lived my whole life with no Dad. I know you and Carlisle clash and have your differences but everything he ever did for you was out of love and hope. You think he wants to be stuck in Forks? He moved here to get you away from the drugs and your stupid mates that were going nowhere. He just didn't factor in, guys like that are everywhere, even here. I am glad I am getting a whole lifestyle change with Bella, I need to grow up at some point, and this situation decided it for me. I am ready, Edward."
"No, you will be ready tomorrow. Tonight we party, and you fuck the living daylights out of Tori and we will see how you are thinking in the morning. Don't forget, you can always change your mind and go to Denali. Tanya is pretty damn hot, I was saving her for myself once I got around to visiting Alaska without the parents, she is one adventurous lady. You would like her."
"Whatever, but I won't change my mind, and I need you to accept that, Edward. Tori will move on, hell, you start up with her, seeing you like her so much, and I will change into Mr Suburbia and have 2.4 kids with Bella, and get a boring job and bring home the bacon. She is moving in straight after the school year ends, and I rang Jacob, he needs barstaff at The Rabbit Warren. He has a full time position for me. No more just picking up odd shifts for money, I have to have a real job now. Health benefits, the works."
"She's not moving in on the weekend? Why not? I mean, I am glad she isn't, but why are you getting married if she is staying at home anyway?"
"Bella doesn't want her parents to know about the kid until after the wedding and she gets her grades back. You can't blame her, the way this town talks. She will probably be the top student, she needs her moment in the sun before she has to admit we have acted a little hastily, and have had to get married. I am hoping the fact I am staying back and allowing her to have her rights of passage like every other teenage girl will get me some brownie points. I bought her a dress to wear to Homecoming at Forks High. Are you going?"
I never went there, but I know it's statistically one of the most likely nights to get laid, so maybe. Angela is still waiting for Ben to man up and ask her to go with him. If he doesn't hurry up, I shall be popping that cherry for him. He can have her next, when she discovers I am off to the big apple, and taking no passengers with me.
The city that never sleeps. I won't be doing a lot of sleeping myself but I will keep up the grades demanded by my father to get a free ride through college. That means I need to spend one or two nights studying, but my weekends, Friday night and a midweek night of passion with some lucky lady will all be marked clearly in my diary.
I am even considering settling down with a girlfriend, in my last year of study. I am not wasting the golden first year with me as a third year new student and all the formerly shy, over protected little virgins getting away from Mommy and Daddy at last as freshmen. They will be ripe for the picking, and I will be there, ready to pick them.
I will have my own dorm, it goes without saying, Dr Carlisle Cullen's son will get the best. I wonder if Emm is coming along as well?
Rose has the brains to be going anywhere at all on full scholarship,but she stayed close to home because her mother has been really ill for the past two years since Rose finished High School. I wonder if Emmett even wants to go to NYU? He may now he and Rosalie are so tight, he never let any girl decide things for him before but he is completely into her. I owe her, it's clearly her decision to transfer to finish her course in New York that made Carlisle consider sending us there.
James got showered and changed and I was quick to note he was wearing a shirt that Tori had bought him, and loved to see him wearing, and he grabbed the old black leather jacket that always turned her on to see him in. She even asked him to wear it while they fucked, sometimes. She was one weird chick. I was not starting anything with her after tonight when he supposedly dumped her, I am not providing a shoulder for her to cry on. Edward Cullen is not some rebound guy.
Nobody cries on my shirt all night long over some other male.
We headed out and James wanted to take his own car so I agreed and jumped in shotgun.
"This won't be easy, Edward. Tori and I have been 'something' for three years now. It won't be easy for her to just accept and move on."
"She wouldn't have to if you told Swan to take care of her own problems." I answered, looking out the window at the endless fucking green. I hate green, my eyes are green and they used to be the only green thing in my world, now they blend in with the surroundings. It's not easy being green.
"Edward, you are my best friend, man, you know that. I need you to promise me something."
"What?", I asked, half listening, wondering who Tori was bringing with her for my enjoyment. Easy was fine tonight, I was a bit down over the whole situation James was in, an easy fuck was just the answer.
"I need you to swear if anything ever happens to me, you will take care of Bella and my kid. I am serious. You have money, you could give them a decent life. I don't want her stuck at home with her parents if I get hit by a bus or something."
I turned and looked at him. We had only known each other two years, but he had saved them from being the worst two years of my life. And he took the heat for something that could have changed my life last year. I owed him. Anyway, he is young and healthy and about to settle for boring and safe, unless he dies from boredom, I am safe.
"Please, Edward? I really need you to have my back here. It's vital to me. I swear I will do my best for her, and stay away from other women, and be the best I am capable of, but I need to know there is a Plan B if I fail. And I swear, I will only fail if I die first. I plan to be the one for her, forever."
He looked so tortured and in pain.
"Sure, James. Anything happens to you, I will marry her myself and bring up your kid. Okay?"
I will definitely be keeping him far away from buses.