Pairing: Marufuji Shou/Yuki Judai
Title: Love Love Hate Love
Rating: T
Warning[s]: Two of the sentences talk about unsatisfying sex. There are also mentions of character death.
Notes: Pairing: Marufuji Shou/Yuki Judai
Theme set: Alpha
Title: Love Love Hate Love
Notes: I finally finished my claim at 1sentence, and here it is! This is my interpretation of Shou and Judai's relationship, should they end up having a romantic one. I tried to have a good mix of cheerful fun and miserable sadness. This spans their entire relationship, from the early days of Season 1 to their lives once they've been separated.

#01 – Comfort

Yubel promises that she only insults Judai's old friends to soothe the hurt of leaving them, and for the most part he appreciates that, but he draws the line at her mudslinging Shou.

#02 – Kiss

During a brief, desperate kiss, Judai's brown sugar eyes become Yubel's, heterochromic and flinty; when that happens, Shou doesn't know whether to pull away or hold him closer.

#03 – Soft

Yubel marionettes Judai's hands around Shou's neck, and out of Judai's soft mouth falls Yubel's "stay away from my Judai", Yubel's "you stain upon this earth," and not one word of dear Judai's.

#04 – Pain

It hurts to dangle perilously over a cliff—the ropes sear his skin, constrict his breathing, and O'Brien knocked him around when he kidnapped him; it hurts, but none of that matters, because any minute now, Judai is going to save him.

#05 – Potatoes

The red dorm serves no starches but rice, no meat but dried sardines, no vegetables but limp carrots and soybeans; by contrast, the yellow dorm serves steak, potatoes, and every vegetable under the sun—none of this stops Shou from having lunch with Judai in the red dorm cafeteria every day.

#06 – Rain – It's raining for the first time since they entered the Dark World, and Shou is having thoughts he shouldn't have; is iAniki/i—Haou—Judai, iwhatever/i he's called, warm and protected, or is he standing soaked and shivering, like Shou?

#07 – Chocolate

Stooping down to lick the chocolate off Shou's nose might make Judai's spine protest, but the blush on Shou's face makes it worth it.

#08 – Happiness

Happiness is dangling over the side of Judai's bed, sucking a blueberry Popsicle, and listening to Judai describe Featherman and Burst Lady getting piss-ass drunk and making out in the backseat of one of his Vehicroids.

#09 – Telephone

Judai's cell phone number in longer in service, but Shou still calls it every day, whispering "I love you" as many times as he can before the automated message kicks in.

#10 – Ears

Hunks of hair keep Judai's ears constantly covered, and when Shou finds out why, he tells him that the scars from the bad piercing job look fine, and he shouldn't bother hiding them.

#11 – Name

Now that they're dating, Judai wants Shou to stop calling him iAniki/i, but he isn't quite sure how to bring it up.

#12 – Sensual

They've seen each other dress and undress nearly every day for a year now, but today Shou takes his school uniform off slowly, deliberately, and Judai watches with his hand trailing down into his pants.

#13 – Death

As Shou flips through the heart-healthy recipe book to find something that Ryo can eat without dropping dead, he wonders once again about Judai—is he dead, alive, okay; if he got sick and needed a highly specific diet, would he have anyone to cook for him?

#14 – Sex

Their first attempt at sex is terrible; when Judai finally forces his penis into Shou's badly lubricated hole, they are both nearly crying from pain and embarrassment.

#15 – Touch

Shou wraps his arms around Judai's neck, and mumbles, "we'll get it right next time–

there will be a next time, right?", and it isn't really a question, because they both know that there will be.

#16 – Weakness

Shou stops crowing and boasting about finally beating Judai at a duel, when, instead of acting sore and snippy, Judai high-fives him and tells him that he kicked ass.

#17 – Tears – When they rented the movie iWorld's Fattest Dog/i, neither one of them expected Judai to burst into tears because the big puppy was just so inspiring.

#18 – Speed – Shou smacks Judai's hand away from his deck and says, "the sooner you finish your essay, the sooner we can duel," and then he leans in and whispers, "there are also other things that we could do instead...but only once you're finished, of course."

#19 – Wind – The wind whips Shou's hair into Judai's mouth as they stand outside Duel Academy, kissing, and laughing because this is the tenth time this has happened since they started.

#20 – Freedom – Ought not Judai to feel guilty for the sense of freedom swelling in his chest as he leaves Shou. and the rest of them, behind in the dust?

#21 – Life

Shou prepares himself for a life without Judai; he finds a wife through Kenzan's Intro to Archeology course, fathers two little girls who love oolong tea lollipops, transforms his skittish self into a professional duelist, and buys a house in a Tokyo suburb—this life without Judai is fine, until Ryo dies and Shou can't force himself to duel anymore, and his wife wants to know why he doesn't love her as much as a memory; when that happens, this life without Judai seems impossible, crushingly so.

#22 – Jealousy

When Kenzan claims his ianiki's/i attention, jealousy sizzles and zips through Shou's blood, and he snatches Judai back with glee; when Judai starts spending all his time with Johan, all he can do is watch, and hope he doesn't vomit from the jealousy slow-burning in his stomach.

#23 – Hands

After the Dark World, when Judai notices that Shou's hands are rough and wrecked from weeks of traipsing outside in frigid winds, he wordlessly hands him a bottle of pear-scented moisturizer, and walks away.

#24 – Taste

When they were fifteen, they decided that they had to try every flavor of Kit Kat Bar at least once before they died; when they're grown and gone from each other for nearly a decade, Shou receives a package in the mail, with all eighty flavors and a list of commentary which explains that Judai's favorite is Royal Milk Tea, and his least favorite is Watermelon Salt.

#25 – Devotion

Shou constantly questions his devotion to Judai—did he spend enough time with him, did he memorize the composition of his deck, the placement of his hair, his pigeon-toed stance, his shining smile, does he care too much about Ryo, does he not follow him so closely that he walks as his shadow, is he devoted enough, or is he doing something wrong?

#26 – Forever

First, Shou wants to superglue himself to Judai's side; second, he wants to walk with him, fingers entwined; third, he never wants to see him again; fourth, he understands him, and hurts for him, cries for him; and fifth, their paths diverge, and he realizes, nothing is forever, and wanting and longing and loving mean nothing at all.

#27 – Blood

In Judai's dreams Shou always says, "it doesn't matter if they all came back, iAniki/i, I saw them die, and in my tarnished eyes, there will always be blood on your hands."

#28 – Sickness

When Shou catches a cold, Judai cooks him his last package of Spicy Beef Ramen, even though it's his favorite kind and he won't be able to buy more for three months, because he'd heard that spicy food was good for a stuffy nose.

#29 – Melody

Neither one knows how to play, but they sit at the piano in the music room all the same, pounding out something tuneless and grating and still, somehow, wonderful.

#30 – Star

When night sneaks up on him, Judai finds himself gazing in bewilderment at a constellation, and trying to remember what Shou had told him it was called.

#31 – Home

"Thanks for staying at school for winter break with me, Shou—I know you wanted to go home and see your parents, so it really means a lot."

#32 – Confusion

At first, Shou doesn't realize that Judai is joking when he suggests that Shou's stomachache might mean that he's pregnant.

#33 – Fear

Judai doesn't often feel scared, but when he does, he stamps his fear to the ground and puts on a huge, sloppy smile, or a mask of confident fury, so that skittish Shou can stay calm.

#34 – Lightning/Thunder

Shou gets a raised eyebrow when he says to Judai, "I know it's hot, but there's a storm out, so you have to put your shirt on unless you want Raijin eating your bellybutton."

#35 – Bonds

Invisible handcuffs link them for life, and they do not loosen, even when Judai is Haou and slaughtering duel spirits, even when Judai is infected with Yubel or pining over Johan or traipsing through the desert in search of something Shou can never understand.

#36 – Market

While idling in line at the pharmacy to pick up Ryo's prescriptions, Shou catches a long-awaited glimpse of Judai.

#37 – Technology

It is only when Shou takes the time to read the instructions out loud to him that Judai figures out how to adjust his duel disk to fit his arm without it falling off.

#38 – Gift – One rainy Monday morning in December, a new set of Heroes is released, and though Shou has not seen Judai for over six years, he grabs an umbrella, straps his daughter into her hooded stroller, and heads out to the nearest game shop.

#39 – Smile

Judai doesn't smile much when they come back from the Dark World, and though he'd never say it, it stings a little that Shou never bothers to ask him why.

#40 – Innocence

The happiest space Judai can carve in his head is the one where he remembers how happy he was as a kid—how he loved dueling because it was fun, how he loved the one he loved because he was fun to be with, how he never had any great stress or responsibility, how the whole wide world was filled with people waiting to be his friend; because of Yubel, and who he is now because of her, that tiny space is all that Judai has.

#41 – Completion

Preparing for their tag duel is beyond stressful—Shou bristles at the slightest correction, fails to sleep the night before, and convinces himself that losing will not only get them expelled, but will permanently destroy both of their lives, and so it's hard for Judai to stay cheerful while trying to calm him, but when they finish with an epic win, the sweat and struggle to get there is well worth it.

#42 – Clouds

There is too much to do in this cloudless world for Judai to worry about Shou's glazed eyes and vacant smile—he won't duel him, won't try to change him back, won't worry that he's a zombie, a shell of himself, won't feel guilty for apologizing and dashing off.

#43 – Sky

The farm that hired Judai to shovel manure has a crowd of cows, all stark black against the blue sky, all mooing and kicking and licking at Judai's fingers whenever he feeds them a snack—he wonders what Shou would thought of them, if he would have liked them, or if he would have been yelped at their sudden, startling moos.

#44 – Heaven

The Marufujis—meaning Shou, his wife Kotomi, his daughters Ryoko and Yukie, and his brother Ryo, try to make their tiny home into a place where they can all live safely and happily, a heaven which Shou must protect, against his beloved monster Judai, and Judai's beloved monster Yubel.

#45 – Hell

Days and weeks and months and years all with Yubel, all alone, all marking time until he can return to the life that he had before madness, before the past swallowed him up and claimed him and took and demanded his life, days and weeks and months and years all spent away from Shou, all these days and weeks and months and years are sheer Hell.

#46 – Sun

"You know, you wouldn't have gotten so sunburned if you'd just used sunscreen like I told you to," says Shou, squirting aloe onto Judai's arm.

#47 – Moon

When Shou tells Judai that he is the moon to his sun, and that he will revolve around him forever, it doesn't even occur to Judai to remind him that the moon revolves around the Earth.

#48 – Waves

Judai is trudging along the boardwalk when he spies Shou hunched over two little girls hassling a sand crab on the beach; once he sees him, he flies down the rickety stairs shouting his name.

#49 – Hair

Shou grabs Judai's hair at the roots, and shouts at him with flecks of spittle shooting from his mouth; ignoring his children he says, "how could you leave me for so long?"

#50 – Supernova

Guilt explodes inside of him, and he doesn't know what to say, so he just stands there with his mouth hanging open until Shou crushes him into a hug.