Author's Note: Thank you to my lovely beta, Alex (xlessxthanx3x). This story is dedicated to you for being an inspiration to me and all Puckurtsies! I love you!
Also, there is a pretty…detailed sex scene in the middle of this chapter. I bolded the first and last lines of the scene, so you can scroll right past it if you don't want to read it!
"What was the point of this again?"
Puck growled in frustration, "I told you, Anderson. Kurt's birthday is in a week and I wanted to surprise him."
"By destroying the backyard?"
Puck glared at the shorter man. The curly haired idiot merely grinned cheekily in response, eyes probably dancing behind the obnoxious pink-rimmed sunglasses he was sporting. "Those shades are fucking gay, dude."
"Ziva likes them. And besides I'm 'fucking gay', dude." He paused, "Well, not currently fucking, but I have been known to rock men's worlds."
Puck snorted, "I'm not going to touch that one."
"That's what he said!"
Puck shot a disbelieving look at Blaine before chuckling at the childishly pleased expression that graced the writer's features. Puck shook his head and held out his palm. Blaine stared confusedly at the proffered appendage.
"Don't leave me hangin'. Up top, hobbit."
Understanding finally reached Blaine and he smacked his palm against Puck's outstretched one. "Now that we've reached the 'man' quota, how about we reevaluate your plan to surprise Kurt? Because, as it is now, the only thanks you're going to get for this mess is a bitch slap and divorce papers."
Puck winced and surveyed the damage inflicted on the backyard. Concrete dust was everywhere and part of Kurt's beloved rosebush was crushed under a box of tiles that Puck haphazardly threw on top of it in an effort to avoid hitting Blaine with the box. He sighed; all he wanted was to build the outdoor kitchen Kurt has always wanted.
The interior designer loved entertaining company in their small, but beautiful backyard. They had already put a lot of work into it. Kurt tiled over the dirt lot that existed when they first bought the house two years ago. Along the edge of the tiles was the garden Kurt took care of. Instead of tiling over the entire backyard, Kurt chose to frame the sitting area with a brick-bound garden filled with rosebushes, a small vegetable and herb garden, and even a massive wisteria vine that threatened to over take the back stone wall.
Kurt managed to create a small oasis in the concrete jungle and Puck was about to pave it all to hell with spilled mortar and good intentions. All he wanted to do was construct a small island for food preparation, a sink for clean up, and an outdoor brick oven for things that Kurt would cook on something other than their grill.
It really wasn't a tall order. Not by a long shot. Kurt and Puck pulled off much more complicated home repairs and renovations when they first bought the hundred and two year old brownstone. However, in the past three hours, Puck found out that it was more of a Kurt skill than it was a Kurt and Puck skill. He was quickly losing faith in his and Blaine's ability to pull this off before Kurt's party next week, when they would be having an outdoor cookout to debut the new kitchen.
"Alright. This isn't that bad. Certainly not as disastrous as the time half the Warblers thought that they could redirect the water from the boiler room to the pool to get a heated pool."
"Seriously? Wasn't that school supposed to be super-smart?"
"Hey. Super rich, yes. Super smart, not so guaranteed." Blaine looked over to where they had already constructed the sink. "Speaking of water, want to make sure we assembled the pipes for the sink correctly?"
Puck surveyed the damage done to the rest of the backyard warily, "Might as well."
Blaine turned the faucet for the cold water. The two men waited a beat, listening to the pipes groan and clang. When nothing happened after five seconds, Puck sighed.
"Grea—" Puck's sarcasm was cut off with the sounds of Ziva's shrieking coming from inside the house.
"DADDY, THE BASEMENT HAS LOTS OF WATER AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!"
Puck and Blaine scrambled to get into the house. Their panicked state wasn't so efficient, however, as in their haste, Puck whacked Blaine in the head with the door by accident.
Puck winced, "Sorry, dude. That was my bad."
Blaine waved him off, "Forget it. Just get inside!"
"DON'T WORRY, DADDY. XANDER CAN SWIM AND HE SAYS I CAN SIT ON HIS BACK! THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN!"
Fuck this, Puck thought as he waded in four inches of water. I'm hiring a contractor. And buying Ziva swimming lessons.
Five days later, Puck was admiring the finished product as he waited for Blaine and the kids to arrive. The backyard was spotless and now fitted with a brand new kitchen. The basement was de-flooded and the water-damaged furniture was replaced. And, most importantly, Kurt did not know any of this, nor did he suspect a thing.
Puck could thank Kurt's boss for this. The interior designer came home late every night this past week in an effort to do enough work to justify the week he was taking off for his birthday. Burt and Carol were flying in from Ohio and Finn and Mercedes were driving down from Connecticut with their three-year-old daughter. The house was going to be full, but both Puck and Kurt liked it that way.
Kurt's birthday "extravaganza" was tradition at this point. Coming at the end of May, it was the perfect time for family gatherings. Mercedes was done for the semester and all Finn had was grading, which he could do easily anywhere. The New York weather was gorgeous, warm without any of the debilitating humidity that was characteristic of the late summer. So, the family would gather at Kurt and Puck's for a week of fun and relaxation. Kurt would try his hardest to take off a week, and he usually managed to pull it off. Puck's mother and sister would try and make it, but, unfortunately, this year his mother was hosting her sister and her husband for a visit and couldn't leave. Sarah was still coming though, driving down with Mercedes and Finn.
Yup, it was business as usual. The only new factor was Blaine. And Xander. They would fit in nicely.
Speaking of which, where the hell are they? Puck wondered as he glanced at the clock. Blaine left over an hour ago to pick Xander and Ziva up from a friend's house in Bay Ridge. He drove and, even factoring in the fifteen minutes he would have no doubt spent chatting with the parents, Puck figured Blaine should have been back by now. His thoughts were cut off with the sound of the phone ringing.
Without looking at the caller ID, Puck picked up the phone, "Hummel-Puckerman residence."
An unfamiliar female voice replied, "I'm looking for Noah Puckerman."
"You found him."
"Hello, Mr. Puckerman. I'm a nurse in the Emergency Department of Lutheran Hospital—" Puck stopped breathing. He could literally feel the blood draining from his face. He struggled to hear the rest of the sentence over the ringing in his ears.
"—you need to get down here as soon possible."
"Ex—" Puck paused, coughing. His throat was dry, cracking his voice. Puck tried swallowing against the panic and rehydrating his throat, "Excuse me, I didn't catch all of that could you repeat it?" Puck prayed against all hope that this had nothing to do with Blaine being late; that this had nothing to do with his daughter.
"Mr. Puckerman, your daughter was involved in car accident—"
"Is she okay? Was she hurt? Is sh—" Puck couldn't feel his legs.
"Mr. Puckerman! Ziva is fine. She wasn't harmed at all in the accident!"
Puck collapsed to the floor in relief. Thank God. ThankGodThankGodThankGod. A thought came to him in his haze of relief, however.
"Wait, what about Blaine? Blaine Anderson and his son Xander? They were involved too, right? Blaine was driving."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Puckerman, but I cannot divulge that information to non-family members over the phone."
Puck swore under his breath. Louder, he said, "Alright, I'll be there in ten minutes."
He hung up the phone and, as he ran around gathering his wallet and car keys, he dialed Kurt's number on his cell.
After two rings, Puck heard, "Hey, Noah. How's your day going?"
Puck closed his eyes and prepared himself, "Kurt, Ziva was in a car accident."
"WHAT?" Kurt's voice was deafening in pitch and volume. He sounded as hysterical as Puck first felt, "Is she okay? Is she hurt? Noah, tell me she's not d—"
"NO!" The thought made him physically ill. "God, no, Kurt. She's fine. She's at Lutheran and the nurse who called said that she wasn't injured at all."
"How did this happen?" Puck could hear Kurt getting up and scrambling around, putting his things into his bag.
"Ziva and Xander were at a playdate and Blaine went to pick them up. That's all I know."
"Oh my, God. Are Blaine and Xander okay? Noah, tell me they're okay!"
"Babe, I wish I could tell you, but the nurse couldn't tell me anything over the phone. I'm driving over to Lutheran right now. Are you coming?"
"Of course I'm coming, Noah Puckerman!" Puck winced. Stupid question. "I'm taking a cab and should be there in forty minutes. Half and hour if there's no traffic and I get the right cab. You better not be talking on the phone while driving, Puckerman!"
"I'm getting into the car now. I'll see you soon."
"I love you, Noah."
Tears welled up in Puck's eyes, "I love you, too."
Never had Puck wanted to run red lights and speed as much as he did that trip to the hospital. He had more sense, however, considering the circumstances. Thirteen torturous minutes later, he was running into the Emergency Department after haphazardly parking the car a block away.
He ran up to the desk, making his way past the crowd of people that were milling about. The waiting room was packed, not an uncommon sight for a New York City emergency room. It never bothered Puck, until now when he was vying for the receptionist's attention. Once he got it, he frantically tried to explain, "Excuse me, I'm lo—"
God bless Ziva's enormous lungs. Puck turned quickly in the direction of Ziva's voice. There she was, running toward him, her green sequined Converse slapping the linoleum floor. Her curls were bouncing and she looked fine. Behind her, Puck could see Xander sitting with a nurse.
Puck ran to meet her halfway and when he reached her, he bent down, allowing her to throw herself at him. Her arms tightened around his neck and he hugged her small body against his chest.
"Thank God, thank God, thank God." Puck was shaking with adrenaline.
Ziva's voice was muffled, her face buried in Puck's shoulder, "I was so scared, Daddy. Everything was so loud and the glass broke and Xander's hand was cut and—"
"Shhh, it's okay, baby. You're okay." Puck ran his hand up and down Ziva's back, hoping to calm her down. When she pulled away, he knew she was okay.
"Daddy, come meet Nurse Kathy! She stayed with us and she's really nice!" Ziva grabbed his hand and lead Puck to where Xander was sitting next to a young brunette woman in purple scrubs.
Xander, who had been watching the two of them walk over, looked up to Puck with red-rimmed eyes. His hazel orbs were filled with fear and it occurred to Puck right then that Blaine was nowhere to be seen.
Puck bent down on one knee so that he and Xander were face to face, "How are you doing, buddy?"
The floodgates burst and Xander threw himself at Puck, not unlike how Ziva did five minutes prior. His tiny frame shook against Puck as he sobbed. Puck wound his arms around him, running one hand up and down his back and the other through his short curls.
"It's going to be okay, buddy." Puck couldn't know that for sure, but Xander needed him to strong right now.
"Daddy was hurt and his head was bleeding and I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't wake up! Daddy always wakes up for me!"
Puck looked over Xander's head to the nurse, who looked back sympathetically. Puck straightened, standing up. He picked up Xander and held him against his right hip as he asked, "Can you tell me anything?"
Nurse Kathy nodded, "All I know is that Mr. Anderson was taken in for emergency surgery to place a pin in his left arm. The arm was broken on impact and the pin was necessary to set it. The head injury isn't serious. He regained consciousness in the ambulance and it was determined that he did not have a concussion. There was a small cut that required some stitches, but other than that, Mr. Anderson should be fine."
Puck released his thousandth sigh of relief of the day. He looked at Xander, whose head was resting on Puck's shoulder, "Hear that, Xan-man. Your dad is going to be fine!"
Xander relaxed, his little body going limp against Puck. Ziva, who was standing next to Puck, climbed and stood on the chair that was next to them. At her elevated height, she reached over and patted Xander on the back in what was supposed to be a comforting way. "Yeah, Xander! Mr. Blaine is okay!"
Puck chuckled and placed Xander on the floor. He picked Ziva off the chair and also placed her on the floor. Puck gave Ziva his iPhone, "Here, baby. Take this and go play with Xander while I find out more about Mr. Blaine, okay?"
Ziva took the phone in one hand and grabbed Xander with the other. She dragged him to the corner, where she plopped down. "Xander, you can take the first turn on Mario. Just make sure not to hit the Koopas! You'll die and then it'll be my turn!"
Puck smiled at the sight of his daughter proudly watching her friend play the game for what was apparently his first time.
"She's a great friend and a beautiful little girl, sir."
Puck turned to Kathy, "Thank you. And it's Puck, please."
"Kathy." She reached out a hand and Puck shook it.
"Do you know what the hell happened?"
Kathy's pretty face clouded over, "Yes." Her voice was tight with what seemed like anger. Puck's stomach clenched in anticipation. "It seems that Mr. Anderson was driving through an intersection when someone ran through a red light and hit Mr. Anderson's car at the driver's seat door."
Puck sucked in a sharp breath, "So he was hit directly?"
Kathy nodded, "At fifty miles an hour."
"What?" That couldn't be right. Blaine was taking a local route home. The speed limit within the Brooklyn city limits was thirty miles per hour.
Kathy's voice was scathing, "The driver of the other car was drunk."
The blood drained from Puck's face again, "No. Tell me that's not true."
"He's being treated for minor injuries right now. My friend did his blood work. His BAC was well above the legal limit. The police are holding him in a room down the hall."
"Don't tell me that. Don't tell me that unless you want me marching down there and beating him to a bloody pulp and there won't be any need for a trial."
Kathy placed a gentle hand on his arm, "Don't think about that, okay? Focus on the fact that your daughter and friends are okay and that it could have been so much worse."
Puck nodded, "Thank you so much for looking after Ziva and Xander. And for telling me what was going on."
"It's no problem. I'll leave you with the kids, now." She reached back to the chair she was occupying and picked up a clipboard off the seat. She handed it to Puck, along with a pen that she pulled out of her top pocket. "I just need you to fill out this information. Since Ziva wasn't treated for anything, we don't need any of her information, but it will be helpful for the police report. Once Mr. Anderson is out of surgery, he can fill out his and Xander's."
Puck thanked her and after she left, sat in the chair heavily. He sat there with the clipboard in his lap, watching Ziva and Xander play, unmoving. Puck sat there for an undetermined amount of time until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, his eyes caught the blue-green gaze that could only belong to one person.
"Kurt." The name was breathed out in a reverent prayer. So much could be heard in that one syllable. Relief, gratitude, exhaustion, awe were layered into Puck's whisper. The name rested on his lips, heavy with history. History of them, of their love, of this day.
Kurt pressed his lips to Puck's in a gentle kiss. Breaking away, he rested his forehead on Puck's, both their eyes closed.
"I talked to Kathy." Puck felt Kurt's words on his face. "She says Blaine will be out of surgery in an hour."
Puck nodded, eyes still closed. He felt the loss of Kurt's head on top of his, but also felt the replacement of Kurt's hand running along his shaved head.
"I see from her badgering of Xander that Ziva is completely okay."
Puck opened his eyes and looked into Kurt's mirth-filled gaze, "And you can see by how Xander is letting her do it, that he's completely fine as well."
"Except for his left hand."
Puck whirled around to inspect Xander from his seat. Sure enough, his left hand was bandaged. Puck walked over to them, aware of Kurt at his heels.
Ziva and Xander looked up at the sight of Puck's feet before them. Ziva's eyes widened at the sight of Kurt, "Papa! You're here!"
Kurt knelt down to give Ziva a hug, "Yes, I am. Now let's have a look at you." He leaned back, scrutinizing Ziva with hilarious exaggeration. "Let's see. Still have both eyes." Kurt placed a small kiss on each of Ziva's lidded eyes. "Both cheeks." He kissed each of those at well, Ziva giggling furiously. "One nose!" Kurt rubbed his nose against Ziva's, his Eskimo kiss going awry as both parties giggled too hard.
Puck smiled at the sight and turned to Xander, who was also watching Kurt and Ziva's antics. "Hey, Xan-man. What happened to your hand?"
Xander shrugged, "I cut it on some glass when I tried shaking Daddy awake." The image of a hysterical Xander shaking a prone, bleeding Blaine struck Puck in the heart and his stomach bottomed out.
He pulled Xander into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, buddy. Does it hurt?"
Xander's response was weak, "A little. But Kathy gave me some medicine. She says it'll stop hurting soon."
Kurt reached over and kissed Xander's cheek, "Well, we'll have to make you feel better with something else."
"Excellent idea. Who wants ice cream?" Xander and Ziva lit up at Puck's words and Kurt and Puck burst into laughter.
"Ice cream. The magical cure for everything that ails ya'," Kurt stood up and reached out both his hands to the kids. Xander took one while Ziva took the other. "Ready, Noah?"
Puck shook his head, "I've got to fill these sheets out and I wanted to wait around in case the doctor has any updates on Blaine."
"I can stay here and you can go with the kids. You look tired, Noah," Kurt said.
"Go ahead, babe. I don't mind. Just bring me back coffee if you can." Kurt nodded and kissed Puck quickly on the lips.
"Call me if anything changes. I have my cell and we'll be right across the street, okay?"
"Will do, princess." Puck watched as his husband walked toward the elevator, two kids on either side of him. He sunk into the chair again, this time actually working on the paperwork.
Half an hour later, Kathy came over to where Puck was rechecking the information he wrote down for the fifth time. With her was a black woman in green scrubs and a white lab coat.
"Puck, this is Doctor Davis. She's the surgeon that took care of Mr. Anderson."
Puck held out a hand, which the doctor shook, "Thank you so much. Really, I can't say thanks enough."
Doctor Davis smiled, "It's my job. Glad to do it. Now, I understand you aren't a blood relative of Mr. Anderson's."
"No, ma'am. But his husband is overseas, his parents are in Ohio, and his sister is in Colorado. My husband and I are the closest thing Blaine's got to family here in New York. I swear we go way back. Actually, he dated my husband. Before he was my husband, that is."
Kathy snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough. It was unconvincing. Puck winced.
Doctor Davis smirked, "Because the prognosis doesn't require any decisions to be made and he is going to need someone to look after him for the time being, I will inform you of the extent of Mr. Anderson's injuries and allow you to see him."
At Puck's nod, she continued, "His left ulna and radius were broken. It was a clean break, however, with no pieces floating around anywhere. That was lucky. Unfortunately, with breaks like these, we need to make sure the bone will heal correctly. Putting in the pin was the only way we can keep the pieces in the right orientation so the break can heal cleanly. The only other injury he sustained was a cut to his forehead, but that only required thirteen stitches. We checked for concussion and found no sign of one."
"Anderson always did have a thick skull," Puck's jab was softened by the obvious relief he felt at the news. "So he's going to be completely fine?"
"In eight weeks, yes. The cast we have him on now is plaster and heavy. In about four weeks, I'll take it off and replace it with a lighter one. In eight to ten weeks, his arm will be completely healed. Do you know when his husband will be back?"
Puck shook his head, "I don't think it's definite yet. I think the last estimate was the first week of July."
Doctor Davis nodded in understanding, "He'll need someone to help out at first. It takes some time to adjust oneself around with one arm out of commission. It's not necessary, but—"
"No worries, Doc. Pretty Boy will have me and Kurt. We're his next door neighbors and he'll spend tonight at our place."
The doctor smiled, "Excellent. Okay, I'll give you his prescription for his pain meds. You can fill this out at any pharmacy. The restrictions will be made clear by the pharmacist. Mr. Anderson will be discharged as soon as he wakes up, provided the police get his statement. It shouldn't be long now."
"Can I see him?"
"Of course. Kathy, will you escort Mr. Puckerman to Mr. Anderson's room. 3103."
"Will do, Samantha."
Puck shook the doctor's hand again, "Thank you so much, Doc."
"My pleasure, Mr. Puckerman. Tell Mr. Anderson I'll see him in four weeks."
Kathy led Puck down the hall and to the elevator. As they waited for the next lift, Puck typed out a quick text to Kurt. Blaine's in Room 3103. Come when you're done. I don't think he's awake yet.
Five seconds later, his phone beeped with Kurt's response.
Be there in ten. Ziva made friends with a Doberman. I'm having trouble getting her away. Why is it our daughter who looks at a killer attack dog that is twice her size and says CUTE? I thought it was going to eat her, but it only licked ice cream off her hand and face.
Puck laughed out loud. What the fuck was he going to do when Ziva was a teenager?
Walking into Blaine's hospital room was a challenge. Puck was not looking forward to see a friend of his in a hospital bed, but it needed to be done. The sight wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.
Blaine looked so small in the white bed, but he was a hobbit. His sleeping face was bruised, slightly, and the stitches stood out, stark against his pale forehead. His arm was cradled against his body, enveloped in a large, white cast and a sling. Other than the obvious, Puck couldn't see much of a difference in Blaine, which would be a welcome relief to Xander, he was sure.
Five minutes passed with Puck sitting silently in the chair beside Blaine's bed. After a moment, Puck could have sworn he heard something shift. He got up to take a closer look at Blaine and, sure enough, his (ridiculously long) eyelashes were fluttering open.
"Ugh, did anyone get the license plate of that truck?"
"We did you one better, Anderson. We got the driver of the Camry."
Blaine's expression was groggy, clearly fighting off the anesthesia. A couple of seconds later, his face lit up in what had to be clarity. He started, sitting up quickly.
Puck gently pushed him down by the shoulders, "Shhhh, relax. Xander's fine. Ziva's fine. Everyone is fine, except for you, okay? You need to take—"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't see him, I swear. Maybe I was going too fast. Puck, I am SO sorry." Blaine's eyes were filling up with tears, his voice weak.
Puck expected this. "No, Blaine. Don't be sorry." The tears spilled over and were coursing down Blaine's face now. "It was not your fault." Puck grabbed Blaine's shoulders, mindful of his arm. He waited until Blaine looked up at him.
Puck bore his gaze into Blaine's, trying as hard as possible to convey his feelings, "It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. You did nothing wrong. The accident happened because some asshole got drunk, got into a car, and blew a red light. You couldn't have known, Blaine."
Blaine's eyes widened, his mouth dropping open in shock, "What?"
"Drunk driver. You couldn't have avoided it. And Ziva and Xander were in their booster seats, safe. Your arm is broken and is going to take two months to heal, but you're fine otherwise. Sore as hell, I'd bet."
"We were hit by a drunk driver?" Blaine's face transformed from one of contrition to one of rage. "Xander and Ziva could have died because of a drunk driver?" He sat up again, ripping off his covers with his good hand. "Where is he? Is he in this hospital? I'll kill him!"
Puck held him back, "Hold on, Rambo. You're not going anywhere. The police caught the guy. He's going to jail and that's the end of it. We don't need you going to prison for murder."
Blaine's rage wasn't so easily dismissed, "Don't you understand, Puck?" His eyes were blazing. "Ziva, your daughter, could have died because of this asshole."
"You think I don't know that?" Puck's voice was louder than he intended it to be, but he couldn't help it. "You think that thought didn't cross my mind?" Blaine's glare didn't soften, but Puck quieted down anyway. "But she didn't. She and Xander are fine. You're going to be fine. Everyone's okay and the asshole will never get a chance to do this to anyone else ever again. I can't ask for more than that."
Blaine locked gazes with Puck, breathing heavily. Suddenly, his anger melted away to something like quiet disbelief. Puck was confused.
"You sure grew up, didn't you, Puck?"
Puck laughed, shocked, "Fuck you, Anderson. Just because I wasn't a fucking old man at age eighteen doesn't mean I wasn't mature."
"No, the fact that your mother still washed your hair at age eighteen means you weren't mature."
"I knew Kurt told you that!"
"I told him what now?" Blaine and Puck whipped their heads around to see Kurt, Ziva, and Xander standing in the doorway of the room.
"DAD!" Xander let go of Kurt's hand and ran to his father's bed. Blaine got off the bed and knelt down to wrap his arm around Xander, who hugged his father's neck desperately.
"I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry." Blaine was crying openly into Xander's curls.
Xander tightened his hold on his father, "It's okay now that you're awake."
Kurt and Puck shared at look, before Puck picked up Ziva and held her against him, "Amen to that." Kurt smiled.
"Who wants coffee?"
Blaine's discharge was a long process, from dealing with the police to filling out the necessary paperwork for the hospital. It was nearly midnight by the time Puck and Blaine got into Puck's car, Kurt having left with the kids hours ago.
"I'm exhausted, hungry, and in pain. This day blows."
Puck helped him with the seat belt, did his own, and started the car. "Truth, man," he concurred as he pulled out of the parking spot. "But Kurt just ordered us Chinese and we're going to stop by the 24-hour CVS to pick up your pain meds. In an hour, you'll be fed, doped up on drugs, and in the guest bedroom, nary a worry in the world."
"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay in your guest room? It'll only be tonight, I'll be out before Burt, Carol, Finn and Mercedes get here, I promise."
Puck glared at him, "It's fine, Anderson. Calm your tits, okay? You'll stay at ours until you can manage yourself without help. Worst case scenario, the guests can check into a hotel."
Blaine blanched, "Are you out of your mind? Why on Earth would they stay in a hotel when there is a nearly empty house next door?"
Puck couldn't believe he didn't think of that, "That's perfect! Burt and Carol can stay with us and Finn and Mercedes can stay with you. Or whatever you prefer. Either way, Mercedes doesn't need to sleep on the couch!"
Blaine snorted, "As if I'd allow Mercedes Jones to sleep on a couch. Hell, I'd sleep outside before that happened."
"Aw, you dapper gentleman, you."
"Seriously, however this works out, everyone gets to sleep in a bed for the next week."
Puck held out his fist, which Blaine bumped with his own. "Baller, dude. We're the best fucking hosts ever."
True enough, an hour later, Blaine was sprawled out in the guest bedroom, dead to the world. Kurt and Puck were laying on the couch in the living room, a mug of chamomile tea shared between them.
"Next time I ask you if you want a cup of tea, Noah, just say yes! Don't steal half of mine!"
Puck told a deliberately long sip of tea before handing the mug back to Kurt, who was sprawled on top of him, "But it tastes better with your saliva in it."
"Gross, Noah! How did I marry someone so gross?"
"Beats me. I still wonder how I married someone who has ninety one pairs of shoes," Puck smirked.
"I only had eighty when you married me. And besides, you don't complain when I wear the thigh high lace-up boots to bed."
Puck groaned, arousal stirring in his lower body at the memory of Kurt wearing those stilettos and only those stilettos, "Don't do this to me, babe. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I'm too tired for a fuck right now."
Kurt chuckled, "My, how the mighty have fallen!"
"Spending seven hours in a hospital isn't my idea of foreplay, so sue me."
Kurt's mirth sobered, "You did good today, Noah. Hell, you do fabulously everyday."
Puck bathed in Kurt's praise. He knew his husband appreciated him, but it felt awesome to hear it said out loud. "So do you, babe. You're amazing."
Kurt hummed, resting his head back on Puck's chest, "It was nice spending time with Ziva and Xander today. They crack me up. Mercedes is going to have a field day."
Puck smiled at the thought, "Speaking of which, where did you put Xander? Did you break out the air mattress?"
Kurt sent him an incredulous look, "Are you insane? I put him in Ziva's bed!"
Puck sat up in shock, knocking Kurt off the couch. "Ow! What the hell, Noah? You are so lucky I finished my tea!" Kurt squawked.
"Ziva is sleeping with a boy in her bed!"
"They're five, Noah!"
"You've got to be joking!" Kurt glared and Puck knew that was the end of it.
"Fine, but this is the last time until she's married!"
Kurt's eyebrow rose in challenge, "Really? And what if she's gay? Will you let a girl sleep in her bed?"
"If she's anything like Santana, fuck no."
Kurt got off the floor, grabbed his mug, and walked out of the room shaking his head, "I'm going to bed, you hypocrite."
Puck raced after him, "If you want Ziva to end up with someone like me, then please, continue doing what you're doing!"
He wasn't surprised when Kurt smacked him upside the head.
Two mornings later, Puck's alarm went off at five-thirty. He hurried to shut it off before it woke anyone else up. It took him a second to remember why he chose to wake up at such an ungodly hour. One look at his husband's sleeping form cleared the confusion up instantly.
Puck knew the smile that graced his face could only be described as shark-like in nature, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't often that he got to do this. In fact, he usually kept it to Kurt's birthday and once a year wasn't nearly enough for this kind of fun. But that might be why it was so fun. Kind of like Christmas. Or Halloween.
Okay, getting way off track, here. Let's do this.
Kurt was on his back, arms splayed on the bed. In the night, it seemed, Kurt got too warm and threw off his covers. Easier access for Puck, that was for sure. Kurt's pale, bare stomach leapt under his featherlike-touch, and he pressed a kiss to the light-brown trail of fuzz leading from Kurt's bellybutton into his boxer briefs before his fingers snagged the waistband and drew it downward. The boxers rolled off of Kurt's hips with little resistance.
Puck's lips traced a path down from Kurt's bellybutton to his hips, those once razor-sharp hips softened by time, round and gorgeous above his husband's stomach, and he scraped the flesh with his teeth as his hand skimmed over Kurt's right thigh and moved upward. His slipped his thumb and index finger under the Kurt's balls so that his palm cupped his perineum, and he suckled hard and fast on the flesh of the hip in his mouth, leaving a deep purple mark. Kurt's morning erection brushed warm and soft against his cheek, and Puck turned to run his nose along the hard shaft. Kurt shifted in his slumber and exclaimed wordlessly when Puck's hand, still palming his scrotum, applied a bit of pressure and stimulated his prostate.
Puck laughed soundlessly into the hair at the base of Kurt's cock, and he swiped the tip of his tongue where the shaft met Kurt's scrotum. This was as far as he got last year before Kurt woke up, moaning Puck's name. He checked, but Kurt's eyes were still closed in sleep. Not for long.
Puck swallowed Kurt whole, taking all of him into his mouth and throat and pressing his lips to the base of his cock.
Puck smirked. Half asleep and he still got the name right. Damn, he was good. Kurt was cursing loudly spreading his legs and literally whining for more. Puck chuckled around his cock and Kurt sobbed, "Oh my, God. Noah." His hands came down and scrambled for purchase on Puck's shaved head.
Puck pushed with his palm again, and the prostate stimulation got Kurt writhing so hard that the fitted sheet came out from under the mattress and tangled around them. He thrust up into Puck's willing throat, moaning, "Fuck. Noah, that's so fucking good." His hips were pistoning now and Puck relaxed his throat to accommodate Kurt's length.
Kurt's hands went from the top of his head to grabbing him by the ears. He not so gently tugged Puck until he lifted himself off of Kurt's cock. Kurt dragged him by his ears until they were face to face. There, Kurt pressed their lips together, shoving his tongue into Puck's mouth.
Puck moaned, thrusting his ignored erection into the soft skin of Kurt's belly. Puck rutted against Kurt, swirling his tongue around Kurt's. His left hand came up to Kurt's chest, twisting his nipple savagely.
Kurt broke the kiss with a gasp, "Noah, fuck me."
Puck was having difficulty forming words, his hips humping Kurt's body uncontrollably. "Not today, princess," he whispered breathily. With great effort, he pulled himself off Kurt and grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer.
"Noah, please." Puck looked back to Kurt and moaned.
Kurt was stroking himself, pupils blown in arousal. His cheeks were on fire, his lips bruised from kissing. The hand that wasn't on his cock was down between his legs, fingering his hole.
"You are the hottest fucking man that ever fucking existed."
Kurt's reply was a whining moan, "So fuck me already!"
Puck chuckled, "Watch, babe." He waited until Kurt's nearly black gaze connected with his own before coating his fingers with lube. Throwing the bottle at the pillow near Kurt's head, Puck got on his knees and, under Kurt's watchful gaze, reached back his lube-slicked hand and thrust two fingers into his hole.
"Holy fuck." Kurt's mouth dropped open and his eyes shut closed as his head slammed back into the pillows, thrusting his cock severely in the tight grip of his fist.
"Don't—oh, God—come yet," Puck stuttered as his fingers grazed over a particularly sensitive place inside him. He added a third finger and, at the sight of Kurt writhing unrestrained, his cock spurted pre-come.
"If you don't get on me right fucking now, I swear I will divorce you, Noah Isaac Hummel-Puckerman." Kurt glared at Puck, his hand now flying furiously on his dick.
Puck removed the fingers from his ass before crawling over to Kurt. He slapped Kurt's hand away from his dick before straddling his slim hips.
Kurt met his gaze with eyes swimming in arousal. Puck stared into them as he reached behind him and positioned Kurt at his entrance. He waited a beat before sitting down on Kurt's hard cock.
Kurt's breath caught as he was enveloped by Puck's body, his cock dragging along Puck's inner walls. They groaned in unison as Kurt's balls touched Puck's ass.
Kurt reached up and buried his nails in Puck's hips, and his eyes rolled back as Puck began bouncing himself atop him, one of his hands wrapped around his own cock and stroking it in time with every lift and fall.
Kurt was writhing and twisting under Puck, his hips occasionally jerking hard upward as Puck began each downward descent. This never got old. They've been together for nearly ten years now and the feel of the head of Kurt's cock dragging along Puck's prostate will always get Puck shaking.
Kurt keened as Puck clenched around him, hips stuttering as he took in the added stimulation. Puck took a second to take it all in. Kurt's back and neck were arched, head planted in the pillow and eyes half lidded. His cheeks were flooded with color and mouth open as he gasped and shuddered. A drop of sweat poured down the side of his face before Puck reached over and caught it with his tongue.
Kurt's grip on his waist tightened and Puck knew it wouldn't be long before he came. Puck arched his back and reached back with his left hand and wrapped his fingers around Kurt's scrotum, giving it a soft, caressing squeeze, and just before he knew Kurt was about to come, he brought his finger up to his mouth, soaking it in saliva before he moved it downward and slipped it deep within Kurt and pressed against his prostate.
Kurt was gone. His eyes slammed shut as he thrust his cock into Puck with so much force, Puck almost fell off. Puck could feel Kurt's come spurting in him and did not stop riding him for a second. Kurt jerked and spasmed beneath him while he came, cursing and chanting Puck's name. At a particularly hard thrust, Kurt hit Puck's prostate directly and white-hot heat spread up his spine.
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK, KURT!" He yelled without restraint, all of his muscles tightening almost impossibly around Kurt as he came so forcefully that jet after jet of white splattered his chest and the underside of his chin.
Shaking with the force of his orgasm, Puck collapsed on the bed next to Kurt, where he wrapped one arm around Kurt's chest. Kurt turned so that their chests were touching and brought his lips to Puck's for a lazy kiss.
"Happy Birthday, princess."
Kurt sighed and buried his face in the crook of Puck's neck, "Best birthday sex ever."
Puck grinned, mission accomplished. "Go back to sleep, babe. We have a couple of hours before we have to be up."
Kurt hummed with contentment and it wasn't long before the both of them drifted off to sleep.
A knock on their bedroom door awoke them. Hazy with sleep, Puck couldn't put together who would be knocking on their door. A quick glance at the clock told him that it was eight-thirty.
"Yes?" Kurt's voice was groggy.
"Not to disturb you or anything, but Ziva wanted to come wish Kurt 'Happy birthday'."
Puck and Kurt started. Kurt pulled the covers to cover them up reflexively, "No! Blaine, don't let her in here!"
Blaine's voice was wry, "I had a feeling that was going to be the case. Her and Xander are in the kitchen, decorating the table for your birthday breakfast. Just wanted to give you time to…clean up before pancakes." His pause was enough indication that he knew the exact state they were in.
"Anderson, you're a God-send," Puck fell back against the pillows in relief.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Puck could hear Blaine's footsteps walking down the hall and he turned to give Kurt a kiss before he was slapped against the chest.
"Hey! What was that for?"
Kurt glared, "We had sex when Blaine was down the hall! He probably heard the entire thing!" His face was red in embarrassment.
"Kurt, he probably heard less down the hall than he would have if was sleeping in his own bed." Puck remembered the first night Blaine moved in very well.
Kurt's eyes widened and it occurred to Puck then that he had no idea Blaine's bedroom was on the other side of their wall. "What do you mean by that?"
Puck winced and explained. Kurt gasped, hands flying to his face, "You mean, Blaine has heard every time we've ever had sex?"
Puck nodded and Kurt moaned, "Oh my, God. He must think we're wanton whores!"
"Hey! We're married, okay? It's perfectly Kosher for us to fuck like bunnies, first of all. Second, if you want to feel badly about something, feel bad that he's only had the company of his right hand for the past month."
Kurt groaned, "I can't believe this is happening!"
"I don't get why you're so upset," Puck paused at the sight of Kurt's glare. "Are you ashamed of us?"
"No!" Kurt cried. "I'd never—it's just that, you know how I feel about sex. I don't like anyone knowing or hearing anything about me or us."
"Tough cookies, babe. But, if it makes you feel any better, once Anderson's husband comes back, they can return the favor." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
Kurt grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it, laughing. "You're horrible, Noah Puckerman."
"Lies!" Puck smiled as he pulled Kurt on top of him, Kurt giggling the entire way. "And it's Noah Hummel-Puckerman to you, buddy."
"Of course it is." Kurt lowered his face to Puck's in a deep kiss. After a minute of solid making-out, Kurt pulled away.
"Come on. We need to shower and head down for breakfast."
Puck's eyes lit up, "Shower sex?"
"How are you not satisfied by that fuck we had not even three hours ago?" Kurt got off the bed and went into the walk in closet, remerging with two towels.
"That was three whole hours ago!" Puck whined half-heartedly.
Kurt's expression was sly, "How about I let you give me a blow-job and allow you to jerk yourself off on your knees?"
Puck's cock jumped to attention, "Deal."
Twenty minutes later, they were laughing as they raced each other down the stairs to the kitchen. Puck pulled ahead, but Kurt shoved past him, making it through the doorway first at the last second.
"You cheated! Pulling my shirt isn't allowed, Kurt!"
Kurt smirked, "Don't be a sore loser, Noah."
"Yeah, don't be a sore loser, Puck." Puck finally noticed the other occupant of the kitchen. Blaine was smirking, good hand twirling a spatula as he stood by the stovetop making pancakes.
Kurt was blushing, "Thank you, Blaine. For waking us up and making breakfast."
Blaine smiled, "It's no problem. Happy Birthday, Kurt!" He put down the spatula and reached over to give Kurt a one-armed hug. Kurt, mindful of the sling, wrapped both arms around the shorter man and squeezed.
As Blaine pulled back, Puck could see a devilish glint in his eyes, "It sounded like you were having a great day already."
Puck burst into laughter as Kurt's face exploded in red. He watched as his husband picked up a dishtowel and smacked a laughing Blaine with it.
The sound of small feet running reached Puck's ears and the three occupants of the kitchen turned to see Ziva running out of the breakfast nook, toward them. Xander trailed after her more slowly.
"Happy Birthday, Papa!" She ran to Kurt, who bent down to pick her up. Ziva immediately hugged his neck and placed a kiss on both cheeks.
"Thank you, baby!"
"We made you breakfast! Mr. Blaine made chocolate chip pancakes because I told him it was your favorite and I folded the napkins and Xander poured the orange juice! I know I'm not supposed to, but he's really good at it! He didn't spill once!"
"Alright, my main man!" Puck cheered and offered Xander a hand. Xander slapped it, grinning.
"Happy Birthday, Mr. Kurt."
Kurt placed Ziva on the floor and reached over to place a kiss on Xander's cheek. The young boy immediately blushed.
"Thank you, Xander. And thank you for helping with breakfast."
"You're welcome," he mumbled before running over to his father's legs. He tugged at Blaine's T-shirt until Blaine bent down so that Xander could whisper in his ear.
"Not right now, Xander. We'll give it to him later at the party. But you can give him your drawing now, if you want," Blaine replied to Xander's hushed inquiry.
Puck watched as Xander raced to the living room. Ziva ran after him. A couple of seconds later, they both returned with sheets of construction paper in their hands.
"Here, Papa! Xander and I drew these for you!"
Kurt was beaming as he accepted both drawings, "Wow! Would you look at these? We have junior Picasso's in the making." He paused and scrutinized Xander's more carefully. "Well, one Picasso and one Monet, if the colors on this one were any indication."
Puck and Blaine laughed and the kids giggled at Kurt's put on tone. "My dad told me that snapdragon flowers were your favorite and he helped me find a picture of them on the computer. I copied the picture with my coloring pencils." His eyes were on the floor the entire time, his foot tracing an imaginary path. Puck held back his laughter. Xander's shyness was adorable.
Kurt's eyes were shining and he pulled Xander in for a hug. "Thank you, Xander. It's a beautiful drawing."
Xander returned the hug and pulled back, a smile stretching his face. He beamed at the praise and Puck could see Blaine grinning out of the corner of his eye.
"Mine's not as nice as Xander's, because he's a better artist. But I drew you a picture of a cake because it's your birthday!"
Kurt kissed the top of Ziva's head. "I can see that! And it's beautiful, too, Ziva. Both these pictures are going up on the wall in my office."
Ziva squealed, "Really, Papa?"
"Of course! All my co-workers are going to be so jealous that I have original Ziva and Xander drawings and they don't!"
Ziva giggled and hugged his legs, "Don't be mean to them, Papa. Tell them if they want some, we can draw more!"
Kurt put his hands on his hips, looking down at Ziva with mock-frustration, "How will I be special then?"
"You have me as a daughter!" Puck and Blaine burst into hysterical laughter as Kurt picked up Ziva and twirled her around.
"Your daughter might be the only person in the world more sassier than you are, Kurt!" Blaine was wiping tears of mirth off his face.
"I surprisingly have no objections to that," Kurt replied, setting Ziva down again.
Blaine handed Kurt the plate of pancakes from inside the oven, where he had been keeping them warm. He handed Puck he syrup and picked up the butter dish for himself, "Shall we eat?"
After a breakfast filled with teasing and laughter, Blaine was wiping down the table while Kurt and Puck were washing the dishes. Xander and Ziva retreated to her room to go play. The doorbell halted all their activities.
Kurt turned to Puck, incredulous, "That can't be Finn and Mercedes OR my Dad and Carol!"
Puck shrugged, going to answer the door, "I could be Finn and 'Cedes, they could have left early."
When he opened the door, his jaw dropped open. On his front step stood Burt, Carol, Sarah, Finn, and Mercedes, who was holding their three-year old daughter, Sasha.
"Surprise!" they chorused, grinning at Puck's stunned expression.
"Babe, who is—" Kurt, who had come up behind Puck, stopped suddenly. "What are you all doing here?"
"Happy Birthday!" they chorused again.
"Mohawk, mind stepping aside so we can come in and I can hug my son?" Puck scrambled aside, allowing Burt to pass the threshold and garb Kurt in a large hug. Kurt laughed and returned the embrace.
"Dad, what are you doing here so early? Your plane was supposed to be leaving the gate right about now?"
Burt shrugged, letting go of Kurt so that Carol could hug him. Kurt beamed as she kissed him and wished him a happy birthday. "We were flying on standby anyway and got to the airport early. There was a plane available right then, so we took it."
Finn hugged Kurt after his mother, "And then he called me and 'Cedes. We were awake anyway because of Sash, so we decided to load up the car and leave right away."
"We got to JFK right as their plane landed. It worked out perfectly!" Mercedes maneuvered herself around so that she could embrace Kurt without letting go of Sasha.
"Happy Birthday, Uncle Kurt!" Sasha reached out for him and Kurt gladly accepted her from her mother.
"Thank you, Sasha-bear. Oooh, it's so good to see you!" He peppered her giggling face with kisses and hugged her tightly.
"Hey! No love for me?" Kurt rolled his eyes at Sarah's complaint.
"Twenty-one years old and you still act like a child. What am I going to do with you Puckermans?"
"Marry them?" Puck and Sarah said in unison, cheekiness apparent. Puck laughed and turned to high five his sister before pulling her into a hug.
"How's it feel to be done with your junior year at Wes, sis?" He asked as he ushered in the clan, shutting the door behind him.
Sarah groaned, "Don't remind me! I don't want to have to deal with the thought of being a senior. Or worse, a real adult." She took a second to glare at Mercedes, "And I'd feel much better about it if some Nazi-dictator government professor didn't give me a B in her class."
Puck laughed, "Go Professor Jones!"
Mercedes rolled her eyes, "Stop being so dramatic, Sarah. It was a B+ and you can't deny the fact that your final paper was mediocre at best."
Finn and Kurt winced in unison. "Harsh, 'Cedes," Finn said as he kissed the top of her head.
Sarah deflated, "No, she's right. But in my defense, that Biochem final nearly killed me."
"And you got an A in that class. It's all about redirecting your efforts, babe. And since you're applying to med school, I think an A in Biochem will outshine the B+ in some silly little gov class."
Sarah was affronted, "Silly little gov class? Are you kidding, Mercedes? That class was the bomb."
Mercedes preened, "Yeah, I know. I just wanted to make you feel better."
"If you two are done kissing each other's asses, maybe you'd realize that Kurt's been trying to reintroduce you all to Anderson for the past five minutes." Puck grinned at the sight of Blaine awkwardly shuffling in the doorway of the kitchen, dishtowel slung over his shoulder. Kurt glared at Puck from next to Blaine.
"My crass Neanderthal of a husband aside, I would like to reintroduce you all to Blaine. Do you remember Blaine?"
Finn pushed past the crowd, "We're not that old, dude! Hey, Blaine it's been a long time!" He engulfed Blaine in one of his customary hugs.
"Hey, Finn. Yeah, it's been too long," Blaine laughed as he returned the embrace.
Mercedes greeted him next, "Where have you been? I know Kurt and Puck invited you to their wedding all those years ago."
"My husband and I were actually out of the country on our honeymoon. We had a small wedding and hightailed it to Europe for the summer," Blaine replied, moving from Mercedes to hug Carol.
"Still, it's so good to see you sweetie. And what great luck that you moved in next door!"
"Yeah, great luck," Puck snarked at Carol's sentiment. "We were thrilled."
Kurt motioned to Sarah, "I have a child in my hands, so I'd rather not. Sarah, do me the honor of hitting your brother, will you?"
Puck recoiled as his sister complied with glee. "Geez, I was just joking. Anderson's my bro now and besides, it's me that helps him get dressed and undressed everyday. Where have you been, Kurt?"
Kurt raised one eyebrow at him, "You won't allow me to help because you don't want me to see Blaine half-naked, if I recall correctly."
Puck had the courtesy to blush as Blaine glared at him, "Oh, yeah."
Burt shook his head after giving Blaine a one armed hug, "Where did I go wrong, allowing my boy to marry that?"
"You love me, old man."
"No, I love the grandchild you bestowed me with. Speaking of which, where is she?"
Almost as if on cue, the crowd of people in the living room could hear the distinct noise of Ziva flying down the stairs.
"THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE HERE. XANDER, COME MEET MY GRANDPA AND GRANDMA AND MY AUNT MERCEDES AND UNCLE FINN AND AUNT SARAH AND SASHA!"
Burt smiled widely as he caught Ziva, who made a wild leap off the stairs, "There she is! One of my two favorite granddaughters!"
"Grandpa, you only have two granddaughters!"
"How lucky am I that they're both great?"
Sarah, who was rubbing the inside of her ear, winced, "Still haven't managed to teach her the concept of an indoor voice yet?"
Puck shrugged, "Can't beat genetics. And she is Kurt's daughter, after all."
Sarah smacked him. "Kurt told me to," she offered by way of explanation. Puck turned to see his husband giving Sarah a thumbs up. Puck stuck his tongue out at him as Sarah turned to Blaine.
"Sorry, didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I'm Sarah, Noah's younger sister."
Blaine shook her hand, "Blaine Anderson. Next door neighbor and friend, sometimes."
"And ex-boyfriend of Kurt." Puck glared at his sister. "Does my brother resent you at all?"
Puck clamped a hand over his sister's mouth, "Ignore the spawn. I do."
Blaine waved it off, grinning, "Believe me. I know the pain of sisters. It's worse when they're older."
"I feel you, dude-bro." They fistbumped and shared a smirk as Sarah's muffled protests took on a louder volume.
"HEY, EVERYBODY!" Puck turned, along with everyone else, to his daughter, who had finished greeting her family and was now on the stairs. "THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, XANDER. HE'S SIX AND REALLY NICE."
Xander was trying to hide behind the banister, his face red at the gaze of that many pairs of eyes. Puck saw Mercedes and Finn share a smile and Carol coo. Blaine was shaking his head, "I don't understand how two people who are that different get along so well."
Puck laughed, "Beats me."
They both grinned as the family took cautious steps toward bringing Xander out of his shell by introducing themselves.
Sarah broke free of Puck's hold, "I'm about to fall asleep right here. Do you have any coffee?"
The rest of the day was spent getting ready for the evening's festivities. The adults divided their time between food and backyard preparation and getting the guests settled in. It was decided that Blaine and Xander would remain staying with Kurt and Puck and the two couples would take over the bedrooms of Blaine's house. Sarah was going to camp out in Xander's room, only after she tickled Xander's permission out of him. He was already warming up to Ziva's extended family, making quick friends out of Sarah, Sasha, and Finn, who had a habit of winning over little kids with piggy-back rides.
Kurt, who still had not been outside and had not seen the outdoor kitchen, was washing the vegetables for the salad in the sink, while Puck was getting the grill started. Blaine was putting finishing touches on the cake. Finn and Mercedes were napping next door and Sasha, who was positively adored by Ziva, was playing the junior detective in Ziva and Xander's ongoing mystery. The three were scouting around the house in search of "clues" that Puck had laid out for them. He grinned to himself as he thought about the final destination, which was of course the cake.
It was five o'clock when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Sarah called out as she went to open the door.
Puck's ears picked up the sound of excited squealing and he knew before his sister announced it who had arrived.
"Kurt, Noah! Mai and Mav are here! The gay to straight ratio has officially gone up!"
Puck breathed out a long, suffering sigh. He smirked as he heard Kurt's reply.
"Good. Maybe now the party will be as fabulous as I hoped it to be."
Puck went inside and up the stairs and walked into the kitchen, setting his sights on Kurt who was in the middle of a Mai and Mav hug sandwich.
"Happy birthday, Kurt!" They said in unison.
"Thank you, thank you. And thanks for coming! It's the usual crowd, of course, and our next door neighbor."
Mav raised one eyebrow in disbelief, "The crazy old man with the unibrow?"
Puck and Kurt shuddered. "No! God, no! New neighbor, actually. He went to school with me and Noah, way back when. Him and his son are here today."
Mai gasped, "You went to high school with him and he moved in next door? That's amazing! Every time I think New York is a big place, I hear some crazy story like this!"
"Crazier even, when you find out he was Kurt's first boyfriend," Sarah smirked as she mixed the lemonade in the pitcher. Puck glared at her.
"Get out!" Mai and Mav breathed together, before Mav burst into laughter.
"This is so freaking awesome!"
"What's so freaking awesome?" Blaine asked distractedly as he brought the cake in from the living room. "Also, Puck, did you really have to make the target of their scavenger hunt the cake? This is the third time I had to move it!"
Kurt ignored him, "Mai, Mav, this is the friend we were just talking about, Blaine. Blaine, this is Mai and Mav. They're friends of ours. They used to work at the club that Noah worked at."
Blaine smiled and offered his hand, "It's so nice to meet you. Wait, you worked at the club? Were you there the first night Puck and Kurt ran into each other again?"
The women burst into hysterical laughter, clutching at each other at the memory. Kurt bore holes into the top of Blaine's head as Blaine smiled innocently. Puck shoved a carrot into his mouth to prevent his laughter, knowing full well that Kurt would make him regret it.
"I swear to God, I will strike all of you down if you bring up that night again. Also, as far as my dad is concerned, Noah and I ran into each other in a café. That's it." He stared them all down before turning in the direction of the stairs, calling out, "Ziva! Your favorite lesbians are here!"
Mai clapped her hands together, "We're her favorite lesbians?"
"Works out well. She's our favorite uterine parasite," Mav said as she placed Kurt's present on the dining room table.
Blaine blanched and Puck lost it. He nearly choked on the carrot as he cracked up, both at Mav's comment and at Blaine's reaction to it.
Kurt waved his hand dismissively, "Don't mind her. She's actually smarter and classier than she first appears."
"Love you, too, Hummel."
Mai opened her mouth to no doubt reprimand her girlfriend and defend her in the same breath, but something else entirely came out when she saw Ziva running up the stairs, "Ziva! How's my favorite speed-demon?"
"Mai! You're here! You can meet my new friend Xander! And you met Sasha before!" Ziva's dress had somehow survived the day of running and burrowing everywhere. Kurt had chosen it. It was the same forest green as her eyes, making them seem even larger than they already were. Must be how she pulled off the innocent look with a slingshot hid behind her back.
"What if we don't want to meet your new friend?" Mav hands were on her hips, looking down at Ziva with mock-challenge.
Puck grinned as a confused expression made its way on his daughter's face, "But why wouldn't you? Is it because you don't like boys? That's okay!"
Blaine clapped a hand over his mouth, but the sound of his laughter reached Puck's ears anyway. Mav's effort to maintain a straight face was apparent, but even she couldn't hold it when Mai buried her face in her back, shaking with laughter.
"Come here, you adorable brat!"
"No!" she shrieked, running away. Mav followed her, hands opening and closing in grabbing motions. Mai smiled after them, turning to Puck, Kurt, Sarah and Blaine with raised eyebrows.
"Sometimes I wonder about that one."
Kurt handed her a glass of lemonade, "Vodka's that way if you want or need it. My parents, Finn, and Mercedes should be here any minute. They're staying at Blaine's and were just settling in."
Mai gratefully accepted the drink, "So what are you up to for the summer, Sarah? Finish the school year alright?"
"As well as possible when you have Mercedes for a professor. I'm actually spending the summer at Wes doing research. Finn and 'Cedes are letting me stay with them in Middletown in exchange for free babysitting. And they're letting me use their car on weekends, so I thought I'd come into the city from time to time."
Puck's ears perked, "To visit us, right, Sarbear?"
Sarah deliberately busied herself by putting the cloth napkins through napkins rings, "Sure, Noah. I'll visit sometime."
Puck's temper rose, "You're still seeing him?"
Kurt winced and shared a look of despair with Mai. "Yes, I'm still seeing him, Noah! Don't act like he's some sort of delinquent. He's in his second year at Columbia Med, for God's sake!"
"Exactly! And you're a junior in college! He dated a freshman as a senior, do you know what kind of guy that makes him?"
Sarah threw down the napkin she was folding, "We were in the same lab, okay? It doesn't matter how old he is, Noah! I'm so tired of having this discussion with you. I'm a grown woman and I can see whoever I want, especially if he's a good guy."
"Look, at your age, I was—"
"A father." Kurt, Mai, and Blaine gasped. Puck's throat went dry, his mouth gaped open. "You got Quinn pregnant when you were sixteen. I learned from that, okay? Am I a virgin? No. Did my first time happen with someone I love? Yes. You can't really say the same, can you?" With that, she stormed past Kurt and Mai. Puck heard the front door open and slam shut, but he was paralyzed, gripping the edge of the kitchen island in a death grip.
The air was heavy with tension, broken only when Kurt moved to squeeze Puck's upper arm in a supportive way, "I'll go after her." He left.
"I'm going to find Mav and meet Xander," Mai said quietly, patting Puck on the shoulder once before she left him and Blaine.
"Puck." Puck looked up from where he was staring at the countertop. Blaine was making his way over to him, eyes pitying. "She didn't mean it."
Puck laughed derisively, "Which part? The part about learning from the fact that her older brother was a womanizing jackass or the part about her not being a virgin? Because I'm pretty sure both are true."
Blaine frowned, "You were never a womanizing jackass and it doesn't really matter if she's a virgin or not, Puck. Look at us! We both lost our virginities in high school. If she really did wait until college when she was ready, it's that something to be proud of?"
"Middle school." The two words killed Puck to say, but they were out there now. "I lost my virginity in middle school to one of Sarah's babysitters. Like a slut. You think I'm angry at her having sex? I'm pissed at myself for acting like her father when I've never set a good example for her!" He slammed a fist down on the countertop. "Fuck!"
"Calm down!" Blaine placed his hand on top of Puck's clenched fist, "Calm down, Puck. Look, you've made mistakes. We all have. But does that mean you can't act like a parent to your younger sister? Of course not! Just look at Ziva! She's a happy, healthy, incredibly intelligent little girl."
Puck snorted, "No thanks to me."
"If Kurt heard that, you know he'd bitchslap you from here to next Tuesday, right?"
The corners of Puck's mouth rose unintentionally at the image, "Yeah."
Blaine smiled, "Good. You're not completely lost. Now, I don't know why you're so hung up on Sarah's boyfriend, but if it's just the age thing, then you need reevaluate your feelings. Because making a big deal out of three years? You're fighting a losing battle."
Puck sighed, "It's not just the age thing. They got together her first semester and have been together for three years now. It's getting really serious, but he's only her first real boyfriend. I don't want her rushing into anything."
"Sometimes you get lucky with the first one," Blaine shrugged. "It wasn't the case for you and Kurt or me and my husband, but people get lucky. Besides, if they really have been together for this long, you can't really say they're rushing into anything. I don't know anything about the situation, but I do know when you yell at your sibling to do one thing, they'll do the exact opposite out of spite. Believe me, I'm the younger sibling." He grinned and Puck found himself grinning back.
"So what did you learn from your older sister?"
"Pink taffeta should never be attempted," he shuddered and the both of them laughed. Puck stopped at the sound of the front door opening again. Turning toward the entrance to the kitchen, he was relived when he saw Sarah standing there, one arm rubbing the other nervously.
"I'm sorry, Noah."
"Come here," Puck opened his arms and Sarah rushed into them, hugging his torso. He folded his arms around her. "I'm the one who's sorry, Sarah. I was a jackass. You're so much smarter than I was at your age, it's not my place to tell you what to do."
"I shouldn't have used Beth as a point in an argument." Puck really wished that it wasn't second nature for his breath to catch at the sound of her name, but it was something he had to work on. "And I should really invite Danny over for dinner so you can see for yourself that he's a great guy and not have to rely on my saying so."
"I trust you, Sarbear, but it would be nice to meet the guy that got you interested in Van Halen." Sarah flashed him a smile and he knew he was forgiven.
"Ugh," Kurt exclaimed from where he entered behind Sarah. "He likes Halen? Dump him, Sarah. Seriously. You'll never regret it."
"Hey, Noah? The next time you get married, can you marry someone who isn't an opinionated bitch?"
Blaine blanched again, but Kurt laughed as he threw a sponge at Sarah's head. "Ungrateful wench, you are."
"Baby, I was born this way!" She yelled as she ran upstairs. "And I have to get ready for the party, so no one go into Ziva's room, okay?"
"Never have I regretted Gaga's lyrics more," Kurt shook his head, but the grin on his face belied his feelings.
"Thanks for dealing with that, babe." Puck wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, head falling on his shoulder.
Kurt placed one hand on his head, "I didn't do anything. Really."
"Thanks for nothing, then." Puck laughed at Blaine's affronted expression.
"How are the two of you still married? You're horrible to one another!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, "How are you surviving New York? You have no concept of sarcasm!"
"Touché, Kurt. Touché."
"Can we make the salad now, I'm starving!" Puck whined.
"Oh shut up and start chopping the tomatoes, you big baby."
"Hey, guys?" The three men turned toward the stairs that led to the basement, where Mav's floated up to the kitchen. "Should Ziva be climbing the bookcase and swinging from the light fixture?"
Kurt raced out of the room and down the stairs, "What do you think, Mav?"
Puck pointed the knife he was using at Blaine, who held up his hand in defense, "This is your fault, Anderson. No one climbs furniture like you do, you hobbit!"
Blaine grimaced, "You might be right."
"Ziva, if you don't jump down right now, you'll be sent to your room for the rest of the day. No party and no cake!" Puck and Blaine paused, listening for more of Kurt in strict Papa-mode. "Xander, I know your first inclination is to let Ziva do what ever she wants, but if one of you will get hurt, tell her no. It's good practice for the future, I promise. Mav, the same goes for you."
Puck and Blaine hurried to look like they weren't listening when the sound of Kurt's footsteps coming up the stairs reached their ears. Blaine was reapplying a layer of frosting to the cake and Puck was chopping cucumbers when Kurt came in, shaking his head, "We might as well have four kids in this house right now. Now hurry up, I'm starving and it's my birthday."
Two hours later, Puck was clearing up the outdoor table. The food was delicious and the backyard looked great. Kurt's reaction to the outdoor kitchen was priceless. He squealed and jumped up and down, clapped excitedly. It took Puck right back to high school, when Kurt would get excited over the littlest of things. He jumped on Puck and thanked him with a deep kiss that only ended when Burt pulled them apart.
The barbeque went well. Everyone was fed and happy. Blaine was getting acquainted with Mai and Mav and Burt and Carol were having fun with their grandchildren. Ziva fed Sasha and was fed by Carol. Burt sat with Xander on his lap, chatting about Ziva's latest antics, the most apparent commonality between them. Kurt and Mercedes were discussing some fashion trend and Finn and Puck were giving Sarah tips about her next fantasy baseball game.
All in all, the dinner was a success and now it was time for Kurt to open presents before cake and coffee. After Puck and Kurt removed the plates, Puck sat Kurt down in the chair of honor and brought out the pile of presents for him to open.
Kurt oohed and aahhed appropriately as he opened his gifts. He laughed upon opening Sarah's gift. It was a Wesleyan sweatshirt. "Noah's always complaining about how you steal his, so I got you your own."
"I don't steal the sweatshirt because I like it, Sarah." He winked devilishly at her and she squealed.
"Ew! Did I just help you get Noah laid? Ew!" Puck laughed, but stopped abruptly at Burt's glare.
After opening Finn and Mercedes' gift ("Tickets to Rachel's new show? You shouldn't have! Really, you s—ow, Noah! I just kidding!") and thanking Mav and Mai profusely for the vintage Dolce and Gabana brooch they had given him, Kurt turned his attention toward Xander, who was walking to him, head hung in shyness.
"This is for you, Mr. Kurt." He revealed a small, brightly wrapped package from behind his back. He handed it to Kurt before running back to his father, climbing into Blaine's lap.
Kurt smiled at him and tore open the package, gasping as he saw what it was. Puck craned his neck from where he was sitting on the arm of Kurt's chair to get a better look.
It was a large multi-picture frame with four pictures of the Hummel-Puckermans. The first one was a picture of Puck and Kurt holding Ziva on the way home from the hospital. The next was one of Puck holding a chocolate-smeared faced two-year old Ziva with Kurt laughing in the background. The third was of the three of them dressed for Ziva's fourth Halloween. Ziva was Batgirl, Kurt Batman, and Puck Robin. The last one was of Puck and Kurt pushing a laughing Ziva on the swings in the park.
"It was his idea," Blaine explained. "He picked out the frame and the photos from the pile Puck gave us."
Kurt placed the gift on the table and walked over to where Xander was hiding his face in Blaine's neck. "Xander?" The boy looked up at him with wide hazel eyes. "This was the best birthday present I've ever gotten. Thank you."
Xander smiled shyly, "You're welcome." Kurt kissed his curls and walked back over to his chair.
"Hear that? You were all beaten by a six-year old." The adults cracked up and Ziva yelled above the din.
"See! I told you my best friend is the greatest!" With that, she went over to Xander and tugged at his arm until he climbed out of Blaine's lap. She went on to lead him to the garden, where her, Xander, and Sasha continued their game of Detective.
Burt fixed his ever-present ball cap before leaning forward and handing Kurt a manila envelope, "I can't really beat that, but be aware that this is only one part of mine and Carol's present."
"I hope you like it, Kurt." Kurt smiled, if confusedly, at Carol before opening the envelope and pulling out the sheet of paper that was in it. Puck leaned over.
It was a real-estate ad for a house in New Brunswick, New Jersey. "You bought us a house in Jersey?" Kurt's face was flabbergasted—much as Puck felt.
"Dad, I love you and this is a beautiful gesture, but I'm not moving to Jersey!" His tone was filled with disdain and Mercedes, Puck, Blaine, and Finn sniggered as Burt smirked.
"The house isn't for you, Kurt."
"Then whose is it—"
"It's ours. Mine and Carol's." His eyes—so much like Kurt's—were twinkling under the baseball cap and Puck fought for breath as he realized what was happening.
Kurt's eyes were wider than Puck has ever seen them, "You're moving to Jersey?"
"We're moving forty-minutes away, darling," Carol was smiling and it was infectious as Finn and Kurt returned it.
"Mom, this is so cool!" Finn laughed.
"We figured that you and your brother live on the East Coast now, and that's not going to change and we're both tired of only seeing our grandchildren four times a year. Now we can see the both of you whenever we want. I already opened up a shop there and your Uncle Lennie is taking over the one in Lima. He's also renting out the house, so it stays in the family," Burt explained.
"But what about Mom?" Puck ran a hand down Kurt's back as the tense question left his mouth. He was thinking the same thing.
"Kiddo, your mom will always be there and, like I said, the house is still in the family. Lennie says that we're welcome to stay whenever and Puckerman's mom is still in Lima, so you'll be visiting her, too."
"He's got a point, babe," Puck whispered in Kurt's ear.
Kurt looked up, face serious before all traces of seriousness were erased with a sly grin, "So, what's the second part of my present?"
Burt and Carol laughed, "Well, we're hiring you to decorate it."
"Yes! A chance to bring classy to Jersey! This is exciting!" Kurt fist pumped the air and Blaine and Finn shared a look. "Ziva, Sasha! Come look at what Grandpa got me for my birthday!"
Ziva looked up from her game and ran to her father, Sasha toddling behind her. Xander followed at a more confined pace. Ziva climbed into Kurt's lap and Puck picked up Sasha. Xander looked at the paper in Kurt's hand from his place by Blaine.
"What did you get, Papa?"
"Your Grandpa and Grandma bought a house in New Jersey. They're going to be living close by, so you can see them every weekend!"
"NO!" Puck reeled back the force of Ziva's cry. "NO, YOU CAN'T!"
Kurt stared in shock at his hysterical daughter, "Ziva, what's wrong?" The rest of the adults looked on in worry.
Ziva didn't answer Kurt, choosing to jump out of his lap and into Burt's, crying as she hugged him.
"Zi, tell Grandpa what's wrong." Burt rubbed her shaking back and whispered to her.
"YOU CAN'T MOVE TO JERSEY, YOU'RE NOT A DEGENERATE!"
Puck, who had been looking at Finn, Blaine and Mercedes, watched as everyone's eyes widened impossibly.
Mav broke the dam. She fell out of her chair, laughing so hard, she wasn't making any noise. Hysterical giggles traveled up Puck's body until the spilled out. Within a second, the entire backyard, save for the kids and Kurt, was choking on laughter.
"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" Ziva yelled, tears still running down her now furious face.
"Aw, baby, they're laughing at me, not you," Kurt sighed. "I made a mistake. It's not only degenerates that live in New Jersey, I promise. I was just being mean."
Ziva's nostrils flared in a manner so much like Kurt, Puck laughed harder. Blaine's face was buried in his arm on the tabletop and Mercedes kept trying to stop, but she couldn't manage it.
"Grown ups are crazy," Ziva declared, jumping out of her Grandpa's lap and storming inside. Xander, who was so confused, ran after her, pausing only to hold the door open for Sasha, who had followed him.
It took everyone some time to collect themselves, Ziva's storm out not doing anything to alleviate their mirth.
Blaine was wiping tears away, "So Ziva is definitely Kurt's child. Good, I was worried for a while there."
Mai raised her glass, "To Kurt and his outstanding fatherhood!"
"To Kurt!" the rest toasted much to Kurt's chagrin.
Kurt pouted, "You guys suck."
Puck kissed his cheek, "Only when you want me to." He ducked at the last second to avoid the apple Burt hurled at him.
It was the best birthday they've had in a while.