Hey guys , sorry for the wait. I've had the chapter for the longest but just haven't got around to posting it. This one is for my little homegirl Maya.
"Derwin, why are you still here?" Melanie, seated at the breakfast bar, asked three days later .
"You want grape or mixed fruit jelly with your toast boo?"
"What I really want is for you to answer my question Derwin."
"I want mixed jelly too."
Melanie sighed. "Derw-"
"No!" he slapped his hand down on the countertop. "I am not going to answer that question because you already know the answer to it, Mel."
"Honestly Derwin" Melanie said quietly. "I don't."
They stared at each other. She saw frustration, hurt, and determination in his eyes. He saw confusion, hurt, and resignation in hers.
"Damn it, Mel. What do you want from me?"
"I want you to be happy Derwin."
"So then, why are you trying to take my happiness away?"
"Because what I give doesn't give you happiness like it used to."
"How can you possibly say that baby? You're carrying my child. And that makes me beyond happy."
"Yeah, well so did Janae. And its obvious she makes you just as happy."
Derwin's jaw twitched. He took a few seconds to bring his anger in.
"The woman I love is giving birth to our child in a few days. And that makes me about as happy as I can be in the situation you've got us in."
Melanie's immediately adverted her eyes.
"You see right there. Right there is exactly what I am talking about Derwin. You resent me. And all the pain I've caused. Don't even open your mouth to tell me different because we both know the truth."
Shocked Derwin said, "No baby I"
"I said don't. Just. . . don't."
Melanie stood and began to waddle out of the kitchen.
But Derwin captured her in his arms before she got very far.
"No Mel, I'm done letting and giving you opportunities to run away."
"Derwin, just let me go."
"I'm sorry Melanie. But I can't do that. Yes it's true, ok? I resent the pain you've out me through." Melanie's body tensed. "But I do not resent you Mel, baby I love you, pass the moon. Remember?"
Melanie just stood still. Not sure if she should answer. Finally she decided to speak.
"Yes , I remember you telling me that but I don't know if it's true anymore." She dropped her head and her voice as well. "I'm scared to think it's true anymore."
One again shocked, but this time because he had just heard his wife say she was scared to trust in his love, Derwin released her. But not for long, he turned her around and took in her defeated stance.
Pain. Hurt. Betrayal. That's the story her body was telling. And that story was so honest, so strong that Derwin had to take a step back.
"M-el." He could barely choke out.
He had done this to her.
She finally looked up, tears silently threatening to overflow from her eyes.
"I thought we were passed 'the you hurt me so I leave' Derwin. I trusted in you. I trusted in us. How" her voice broke. "How could you leave me like that? Leave us like that? Yes! I made a mistake; A huge one Derwin. I've admitted it, I've agonized over it, and I've apologized a thousand times. I'm sorry I hurt you. I am. And I'd do anything to help heal the hurt, to help you heal the hurt. But you didn't want me. Just like all the other times. You went to somebody else. And I tried, God I tried to pretend that it was alright, that it was ok, that I understood, and that it was fine with me. But damn it! It wasn't Derwin, it never had been and it never will be." Tears fell, hurt from her eyes bore into to his, as she poured her soul out to him. "And then when you want, you decide you're ready to come back. Its selfish, its just wrong. And most of all is heartless. How can I trust you love, when it clearly doesn't care about mines?"
She stared him down , her tear ridden face didn't move an inch. Her soul was searching his, looking for an answer. Demanding an answer. After a few seconds she dropped her eyes, and hunched her shoulders. "Yeah," she said as she resigned "I didn't know either." Then she disappeared out the kitchen.
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