Okay, so, recently, ZADR not hater had given up a story called "Shakespeare Shenanigans." She (or he for all I know) was going to delete it. D: I almost died!
Well, I asked if I could adopt that story, and I did! :D So now… here is chapter 1 and 2, just incase you didn't read the original whenever it was out…
Zim and Dib crashed through the door of Ms. Bitters' 10th grade English room. Rolling, big head over green heels, they landed on the grimy, off-white floor at the front of the room. Zim landed on top of Dib, then jumped up and sprinted to his seat. leaping atop it, the poorly disguised alien pointed a finger at the Dib-creature and gloated:
"HAHAHAHAHAAA! I! ZIMMMMMM! Have beaten you to your desk an incredible display of Irken stre- I MEAN HUMAN NORMALNESS! Yes…human normalness…"
"I was just trying to get in the door you jerk!" snapped his pathetic archenemy. When would that puny human realize Zim was far superior to he? He was taller than the Dib stink for Irk sake! Zim's better-ness was completely obvious! It was a wonder what living 4 years in a gravity field 1/3 of what your home planet had could do for your height. The silly human's 'pyooburtee' growth spurt had nothing on him! Although the Dib-freak had managed to grow into his oversized head...he wasn't nearly as hideous as he was before...
Zim shook his head. He didn't care what the stupid human looked like! "BOW BEFORE THE NORMALNESS OF ZIM!" he shrieked.
No one bowed down, especially not the Dib-smelly…who told Zim exactly where he can stick his oh so mighty normalcy. Zim was about to yell something foul at the infuriating black haired human, when stirred in the shadows, her silvery spectacles flashing in annoyance.
"I've had enough of your pointless interruptions Dib, ZIM…" rasped the terrifying earthen crone, cutting off whatever eloquent stream of Irken insults Zim was about to scream. He slouched in his seat, glaring daggers at Ms. Bitters even through his false blue contacts. Zim vowed, that next to Dib-thing, the she-hag would be among the first to be annihilated when he took over this ignorant planet. "As you all know, in 10th grade, you are all required to read Romeo and Juliet and perform the play in front of the whole skool. A mix of groans and 'hooray's' erupted from the class.
Zim arched an eyebrow… a play, eh? The theatrical activity where humans played make-believe in ridiculous costumes, saying the same things over and over on a stage? Zim was not pleased to have to participate in this, filthy human custom.
"However," continued the head meat-sack, "I hate all things to do with love and young people." She gave a small shudder, shaking a cockroach loose from her grey hair. "So to alleviate my misery, I refuse to have you read the play in my classroom, and am handing over the production of our play to our useless drama teacher, Mr. Yaoi (oh yeah…you'll see why he's named that soon enough, my pretties ;3). I'm having him randomly pick roles out of a jar. If you complain about your role I will send you down to the underground classroom and make you sit under the dripping pipes while i use your blood to write thank you notes to my anger management therapist. "
Zim cringed at the mention of dripping pipes... he would not complain to the earth hag. The earth-monkey, Dib, saw his reaction and gave him a smirk. Zim blinked, then blinked again because he blinked. Since when did the ugly little primate's face surprise the amazing ZIM?
Zim started to turn a darker shade of green… What had the human done to him? Some sort of mind control perhaps? How dare he try to alter the amazing mind of ZIM? He pointed his claw at the human and prepared to bombard the insolent monkey-filth with insults and accusations of illegal mind-alteration, when suddenly a male teacher-slime dressed in purple burst through the door, rudely interrupting the incredible ZIM before he could continue.
"Good mooooooorning boys and girls!" he sang in an off key soprano that made Zim's antennae twitch in irritation under his black wig. "I'm your fabulous drama teacher, Mr. Yaoi. The delightful Ms. Bitters -" a demonic growl echoed from the shadows, "has put me in charge of producing the single most dramatic, romantic, and passionate love stories ever written." He gave a squeal and fanned himself his unusually well manicured hands. Zim merely stared at him in a mix of annoyance, utter and complete confusion, and disgust. They were being forced to perform a love story? Zim would prefer to have his squeedlyspooch biopsied. Stoopid humans and their looooooove.
"Now, boys and girls I'm going to read off a name from the characters, then pick a name out of this jar to play the character. Our first character to be chosen is the incredibly romantic, amazing…sexy…" The annoying purple monkey started to drool, looking off into space. Zim had seen Gir do the same thing after watching a commercial about the Taquito-Land theme park. The bizarre human seemed to snap out of his trance and wiped the drool off of his ugly purple vest. "Ahem, excuse me! Our first character to be chosen is Romeo, who will be played by…" the human stuck his hand-appendage in the jar and pulled out a slip of ugly human paper.
"Dib Membrane!" Zim looked over at the mentioned human-scum with a raised eyebrow. That walking skin irritation was going to be in a play about love? Zim started to snicker…even the mighty ZIM felt sorry for the sad little earth monkey that had to play Dib-creature's partner. Zim started laughing even harder. Soon he was gasping for air, and he could hear the trench coat clad human growling in anger. Stoopid human!
The purple annoyance blinked in confusion, then continued with the character selection of doom.
"Romeo's lovely lover, Juliet, will be played by…" he rummaged around in the jar.
"WHAT?" Screamed Zim and the Dib-slime at the same time. Zim was trembling with indignity and fury, as well as Dib-creature, who had turned a vivid shade of crimson. Zim's obviously superior face had turned the same green color as an earthen avocado.
Standing, Zim unleashed his incredible wrath at the soon to be terminated purple human. "ZIM REFUSES TO PLAY THE…'LOVER' OF THE DISGUISTING DIB-FILTH! ZIM SHALL DESTROY YOU BEFORE THAT HAPPENS! PREPARE TO DIE, HUMAN! I AM NORMAL!" Zim snarled and considered the best way to eradicate the human down to his very last atom.
The raging Dib-thing took his turn bellowing at the evil demon known as . "ARE YOU *FUDGING* INSANE? WE'RE BOTH GUYS! HE CAN-"
The soon to be terminated human, who had been turning pink and nursing a sudden nosebleed, suddenly straightened and marched up to the human poking him in the chest, his eyes flashing. It reminded Zim of when Gir suddenly switched to "duty mode".
"And what, young man, is wrong with two men being in love? HUH?"
The Dib-creature was about to say something back, and Zim had just decided that he was going to send the purple earth monkey to the room with a moose, when the classroom suddenly developed a clammy chill. A chill so clammy it could only mean one thing.
Ms. Bitters...*DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN*
Zim hid under his skool desk as the demon queen slithered out of the shadows, wilting a potted earth-plant by the window. "Do I have two volunteers to help me write thank you notes downstairs?" the human nightmare looked like she was hoping for a yes.
Zim shuddered…dripping pipes… He shot a look at the Dib-human, who was looking back at him with a face of mild panic. Zim pondered his options. Zim could face days of torture at the hands of the most terrifying and evil creature in the galaxy, or he could play the 'lover' of Dib in a human play...Zim's squeedlyspooch flipped.
It was so hard to choose! But the mission…If he was held captive in the horrible crone's torture chamber, he couldn't go and conquer Earth! And the Tallest would be displeased! Zim knew what he had to do. Every Irken Invader faced a time where they had to suffer for the cause of the mission… now must be the amazing Zim's time.
"Uh, NO! Ha ha ha… the Dib-stink and the incredible ZIM were just telling the, uh...person... how pleased we were to play this Romeeyo and Jooly-et. Isn't that right?" Zim shot a look at his archnemisis. Oh the indignity!
"…" the human said nothing, obviously still fuming.
"Torture!" Mouthed Zim. So help him if the Dib-squishy doomed him to the water torture of doom… Zim would show no mercy!
"Yeah…what the alien said!" Dib-thing quickly muttered. Zim forced himself to smile and nod.
"Yes, so as you can see Ms. Bitters, there is no need for you to drag us with your slimy little claws down to the torture area of torture! The mighty ZIM and the Dib-worm are in total compliance with your…play…thingy…thing. So go away now."
The she-hag raised an eyebrow and grunted, then backed away into the shadows.
"Yay!" Squealed the horrible little purple filth…thing. "Let's move on, shall we?"
Zim shuddered… his squeedlyspooch was feeling uneasy. He glared at the Dib-monster, who insolently glared right back as more names were called. For some reason, Zim's glorious squeedlyspooch felt even stranger, and he turned a dark green again as he looked at the human's face.
Mind control... it had to be!
So, I DON'T OWN THESE CHAPTERS! They are ZADR not hater's... I own the next chapter though… BECAUSE I WROTE IT! xD
So, I'll post the next chapter very soon. Today, in fact.