A/N: I've been working on this for a while, and I forgot about for like a week before I went through my documents and saw it. Hehe. Sorry :]. It should satisfy you as I'm trying to figure out Rogues.
Disclaimer: I am J.K Rowling. And C.S Lewis. And Jane Austen. And Jodi Picoult. And Susanne Collins. And if you just believed all that, you should go see a therapist.
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'Al?' hissed James.
'What?' Al whispered back, looking up from his coloring book.
'I'm bored.' Al frowned at his brother. If James was bored, then Al was going to be bored as well.
'Me too.' he told James.
James looked around. There was nothing to occupy him. He had been through the toy section in the corner, the crayons on the table, and the playhouse on the far wall. There was no one else in the room, except for Al and the Lady that Daddy had told him to listen to. He looked back at Al, who was coloring again.
'Let's do something.' he said to his little brother, who stopped coloring again. Al looked nervous.
'Mummy might get mad.'
'Mummy isn't here, is she? She's out getting our new baby.'
'Well then, Daddy might get mad.' said Al. Both boys looked a little scared. Nobody liked it when Daddy got mad. James remembered something.
'Daddy was already mad today, remember. He even said...' he paused, and leaned in towards Al. 'he even said ... bad words!' Al gasped.
'How did you know they were ... bad words?' he asked, in awe of his older brother.
'Uncle Ron.' said James. Al nodded knowledgeably. Uncle Ron knew a lot of bad words. 'Anyways,' continued James, not to be deterred, 'Daddy was already mad today, and everyone knows that you can't be mad two times in one day.'
Al thought hard about this. 'Yes you can. Mummy gets mad at you all the time. Lots more than two times a day.' James shrugged this off.
'Well, that's Mummy.' he explained. 'Daddy won't mind.'
'All right then.' said Al, persuaded. 'Let's do something. What will we do?'
'Let's play a game!' said James, happy he was getting his way. 'Let's play... Explorers!'
'Explorers?' asked Al. 'We've already explored. That won't be any fun.'
'No, no, no Al. Not this room. Explorers of the Building!' James said, excited.
'All right!' said Al. ' But how are we going to get out of here? There's that Lady that Daddy told us to listen to guarding the door.' James stood up straight.
'Come on Al, let us slay the Evil Dragon.' said James heroically.
Al took a last, wistful look at his 'Famous Wizarding Heros' coloring book, where he had been coloring Daddy's hair green, but stood up and followed his brother to the Dragon (who was really just the Lady that Daddy told them to listen to, but James liked things to be a little more theatrical).
'Hello.' said James loudly. The Dragon turned from her tall pile of papers and smiled down at him.
'What is it, dear?' She said in a happy, I'm a grown-up and you aren't kind of voice. Both boys decided they did not like her.
'I want to leave.' said James.
'No, we can't leave until your Daddy comes for you.' said the Dragon.
'Well then,' said James, 'Me and Al will leave and you can stay here.' The Dragon laughed.
'No, no. Can't have that, dear. I don't want to be the one responsible if Harry Potter's kids go missing.' She laughed again.
'James?' whispered Al. 'Who's Harry Potter?"
'Harry Potter is your father.' answered the Dragon, shamelessly listening in.
James decided he had had enough of the Dragon.
'Don't be stupid.' he said, in a cold voice he had heard his Daddy use once when he was talking to a reporter outside their house (she had changed into a bug and Daddy let James keep her in a jar with some leaves until Mummy found out). 'Our father is not named Harry. He is named Daddy. We're going to the bathroom.' he took Al by the hand and walked towards the door.
'Do you want me to come with you?' asked the Dragon. James and Al both turned and looked at her, identical horrified expressions on their faces.
'Are you crazy?' gasped James. 'You're ... you're a girl! You can't come with us!' The Dragon laughed.
'All right then, Mr. Potter.' she said. 'If you're sure. The washroom's the second door in the next hall. Come right back.' She turned to the paperwork again. James pulled his little brother out of the room. They were out the door and halfway down the hall before Al decided to ask James about something that was bothering him.
'How many doors are before the second one?' James considered.
'Lots.' He said finally.
'How many are in lots?' Asked Al. James thought again.
'More than a few.' he answered. 'Anyways, it doesn't matter. I just told the Dragon we were going to the washroom to get past her. It was easier than attacking her. I don't have my sword with me.'
'Oh,' said Al, clearly in amazement over the brilliance of his brother's plan. Another thought struck him. 'James?'
'You don't have a sword.' Al said, clearly confused.
'I know that,' said James, rolling his eyes at his brother's lack of intelligence. 'It's pretend, Al.'
'Oh,' said Al again. The two brothers continued along the empty hallway. James led the way because he was oldest. Eventually, the hallway split into two.
'Now where do we go?' asked Al. James considered the options.
'Why don't we go find Mummy and Daddy?' he said. 'They've got to be around here somewhere. Then we can go home, and play Quidditch.' Al's face lit up. The Potter boys loved Quidditch, even if they only rode toy brooms and threw around an old teddy bear instead of a Quaffle (there had been a rather severe incident which resulted in a ban of hard objects in the house for the next ten years or so).
'Okay,' said Al. 'They went to go get the new baby.'
'Right,' said James.
'Where do you get babies from?' Al asked. James was quiet for a long moment. He would never admit it, but he had no idea where babies came from. He had asked Daddy last Christmas Dinner but to no success. Fun as it was to watch his Daddy's face change colours, James had never received an answer, due to the fact that his Uncle Ron had begun to choke (James had always suspected he had actually been laughing) and Daddy had left quickly to help him. So James had no idea where his parents might be getting his new sibling- but Al didn't have to know that. All that Al needed was an answer, and James was very good at answers. Especially the made up variety.
'Well, Al,' started James, his voice taking on the same tone Aunt Hermione's did whenever she began to talk about a new book. 'When a Mummy and a Daddy want to have a baby they come here to St. Mungo's, right?'
'Right.' said Al, sitting down on the floor as he prepared for a long lesson.
'Well, you remember when we came to see Hugo here?'
'Yeah,' said Al, his green eyes fixed on his brother's chocolate brown ones in eager fascination.
'Well, Daddy ran upstairs to the gift shop while Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione were waiting in the other room, and then they let us in, and Daddy was holding Hugo.'
Al's eyes widened. 'You mean...?'
James nodded. 'Daddy went up and got Hugo from the gift shop.' Al frowned at his brother after a moment's thought.
'That doesn't make any sense James.' he told James. 'Why would Daddy go and get Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione's baby? And why would they sell a baby in a gift shop anyways?'
James, surprised at his brother's perceptiveness, took a few seconds to answer. 'Well, Al,' he began. 'First of all, do you remember what Nana Weasley told us about babies, when we found out about the one Mummy and Daddy are going to go get?' he quickly continued, before Al had a chance to ask more questions. 'She said that a baby is a gift, and that we should be happy to have a brother or sister. I'm not sure if she's right or not, since all babies seem to do is cry and sleep, but do you see? A gift!'
'And they sell gifts at gift shops!' Al exclaimed happily, understanding.
'That's right, Al' said James. 'As for why Daddy went to pick Hugo, instead of Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione...well, the answer is awfully obvious, isn't it?' Al shook his head. 'Well, remember, Auntie Hermione got really fat, so she couldn't climb all the stairs.'
'That wasn't very nice, James!'
'Well, it's true. As for Uncle Ron...well he has really bad taste. Mummy says so all the time! I mean, why anyone would choose Rosie, when you could have a kid as cool as me, say...' he broke off, shaking his head.
'Or me.' added Al, sticking out his bottom lip. 'I'm cool too. Right James?'
'Right.' said James, confidently. 'But I'm still the coolest.' He noticed his brother beginning to open his mouth, most likely to complain loudly and forcefully that he was just as cool as James, so he cut him off. 'Anyways!' he said loudly. 'We know where Mummy and Daddy are now! They're in the gift shop, looking for a baby.'
'Right.' said Al. 'Then we should go find the gift shop. Where is it?'
'I think it's upstairs somewhere.' said James. 'I guess we're really going to be Explorers, Al.'
'We should make a trail!' said Al. 'So we don't get lost.' He took one of the crayons he was still holding and started drawing a jagged line on the wall. 'Which way?' he asked, pointing at the divided hallway. James pointed left, because there was less noise coming that way, and he had a feeling that they weren't technically supposed to be wandering around the hospital without a grown-up.
Not that he cared all that much.
So they crept along the hall as much two boys under five years old could creep.
They were doing well-they reached the third floor before they ran into a Healer. He was walking down the hallway reading a long piece of parchment when they saw him. James pulled Al into a doorway, but Al was a bit too slow, and the Healer tripped over his foot. His eyes met James', and in that second he knew they were in Deep Trouble. Not normal, no dessert and go to your room trouble, but Deep Trouble. The kind of trouble that meant that even Daddy got angry.
'What are you two doing in this wing of the hospital?' asked the Healer, his eyes narrowing at the sight of two black haired boys looking at him very guiltily as they crouched in a restricted wing of the hospital.
James came up with the best retort he could.
'None of your business.' He stuck his tongue out at the Healer.
Later on in his life James realized that this was probably not the best choice he could have made.
The man reached out and grabbed Al and James by their arms, and dragged them into the middle of the hallway.
'Have you been playing around with the equipment in here?' demanded the Healer. James continued to glare at him.
'Kids.' muttered the Healer.
'Let go of me.' said James very loudly. He thought quickly. He couldn't pretend to be lost or play the cute little boy card as he had already been acting less than polite or scared. So he did the only thing that he could do. 'I'll scream! Then everyone will come running, and all of Daddy's Aurors will come, and then you'll be arrested, and then you'll go to Akaban, and then I'll laugh at you.' he yelled. The Healer raised his eyebrows.
'Really?' he said sarcastically. Then he frowned. 'What do you mean your Daddy's Aurors?'
Al seemed to think that it was a good time to interrupt.
'The Dragon said our Daddy was named Harry Potter.' he said. 'But I don't believe her because James said his name was Daddy, and James is always right.' The Healer stared at Al. Then he stared at James. James stared back at the Healer. Al started drawing on the floor.
'Your Dad is Harry Potter?' asked the Healer, astonished. 'The Harry Potter?' James just continued to glare. Al, however, spoke up again.
'He was in my coloring book!' He told the Healer. 'I made his hair green, like Teddy's is sometimes, and then I was going to make his eyes purple, but then James got bored and we went exploring.' The Healer stared at Al blankly for a moment, then frowned again.
'You boys seem to have a bad habit of running off. I don't know who you are, but obviously your parents haven't taught you that lying is wrong. Now, where are you supposed to be?'
If the Healer had been a little more patient, it might not have happened.
If the Healer hadn't called them liars and insulted their Daddy and Mummy, it might not have happened.
Unfortunately, the Healer did do these things.
And James got angry.
He really didn't mean to do it. He was glaring at the Healer, and then the Healer was on the floor, slowly turning into some kind of squid. He knew that he just did magic...and he also knew that he couldn't fix it, so he did the best thing possible in such a situation.
He grabbed Al and ran.
Down hallways, past open doors, up random staircases they sprinted. Finally James decided they had gone far enough. They were now hopelessly lost seeing as Al had been too busy running to make his crayon trail. There were shouts coming from downstairs now- but there were no running footsteps behind them, so James knew that they were safe for a bit.
'Hey, James?' asked Al. 'Where are we?' James decided not to lie this time.
'No idea, Al.' he said. There were signs above the glass doors in front of them, but neither James nor Al could read, being three and two years old respectively. 'Why don't we find some stairs?' he said. Al nodded in agreement. The brothers made their way to the end of the hallway, both listening to the shouting from downstairs.
They were both distracted, so when they walked through the door they didn't notice all the patients. Especially the one that they walked into. He looked down at them, a bright smile on his face. James looked at him, and sighed inwardly. He didn't look dangerous, but there had to be a reason he was in the Hospital.
'Oops, sorry.' he said. 'Come on Al, we're in a ward.' The smiling man laughed very loudly, causing James to wince.
'No problem my dear sir,' he said, then added in a whisper 'How do I look?' James looked at him. He had obviously been blond when he was younger, but now his hair was white. His eyes were very blue, and his teeth were very white.
'I'm three.' said James, 'And I like red heads best. So, I do think you look very nice. What do you think, Al?' Al didn't seem to be on the same page as the rest of the universe.
'Do you think that the yelling is about us?' he asked. James ignored this, partly because Al hadn't answered his question, and partly because he was sure the yells were in fact about them.
'I'm Gilderoy Lockhart.' said the man.
'That's nice.' said James. Gilderoy Lockhart didn't seem too put off. 'Would you boys like my autograph? I'll bet you would. Come in.' he gestured towards a sectioned off part of the ward. Al seemed to have realized something.
'Nana fancies someone named Gilderoy Lockhart.' he said matter-of-factly. He turned to James. 'How do you fancy someone, James?'
'I dunno, Al.' said James. He was getting tired of Al's questions, and of climbing all the stairs. He was thinking of having a nap now, instead of playing Quidditch. The thought of Quidditch perked him back up. It always did. 'We don't want your autograph.' he told Gilderoy Lockhart. 'Because you're annoying me. I think you're a prat. Do you know where the gift shop is?'
'A prat!' exclaimed Gilderoy Lockhart, his voice than his laugh had been. 'I'll have you know that I get letters from witches all over the country.
'So do I,' lied James.
'So does Daddy, but he just chucks them in the fire.' Al laughed.
'In the fire!' Gilderoy Lockhart seemed to have a hearing problem. It was the only reason that he would be repeating things so loudly. James told him this, as loud as he could. It was a mistake. Gilderoy Lockhart looked like Uncle Percy when James and Freddie put a firework in his soup. Except Gilderoy Lockhart didn't have carrots up his nose. James wished he had some fireworks now, but Mummy had forbidden Uncle George from ever letting him have one again.
'James? Al?' A head poked out of a curtained section of the room. 'What are you two doing here?'
'NEVILLE!' James yelled, running across the room, and hugging the very confused looking man.
'Hello Neville!' said Al, equally happy but much less exuberant than his brother. 'We were playing Explorers.' he explained.
'Yeah, we were looking for Mummy and Daddy.' added James, loudly.
'Are they here?' asked Neville, looking around.
'Well, they're somewhere.' said James. He leaned in. Neville leaned in too, looking slightly apprehensive. James had no idea why. 'Mummy told Daddy that she needed to come here for the baby.' he told Neville in voice that might have been a whisper to the hard of hearing. Or Gilderoy Lockhart. 'And then... Daddy said some bad words.' James told him.
'Bad words?' asked Neville, raising his eyebrows.
'Yeah.' said James puffing out his chest. 'Want to know what they were?'
'No, no, I've got a pretty good idea.' said Neville quickly. 'What happened then?'
'Daddy took us all here, and then we were supposed to stay in a room, but we fought the Dragon guarding us, and escaped, and then we ran into a Bad Healer, and I accidentally turned him into a squid, and then we ran up here.' said James, a little bit of pride coming into his voice.
Neville said some...bad words.
'Whenever James says that he doesn't get dessert.' said Al. James made a face at him.
'Watch it or I'll tell Mummy what really happened to her Quidditch set.
'That was you, James.' Al reminded him. James beamed.
'Oh yeah...it was. Well, I'll do something.' Al glared at him.
'All right, boys.' said Neville in a teacher voice. 'Let's get you back to the waiting room. Just stay here for a minute, OK?' They nodded. Neville disappeared. Al went to the wall, and started drawing a picture. James came over.
'What,' he asked, 'is that?' Al looked at him, insulted.
'That one is Mummy, ' he said, pointing at a green blob with red hair and a large circle for the belly. 'That one's Daddy,' he pointed at another stick about twice the height as Mummy with black hair and a red blob on his head that must have been his scar. 'That's us.' two green sticks with black hair playing Quidditch. 'And that's the baby. Do you think it should have red hair or black hair?' he mused, looking at the headless stick figure.
'Red,' said James. He took a crayon, and began embellishing on the game of Quidditch that he and Al were playing, so that he was winning, and the snitch was attacking Al. Al began adding other people (mainly with red hair) to the picture. Neville came back out.
'Boys,' he said sternly. 'You shouldn't draw on the walls. It only gives the people who work here more things to do.' James rolled his eyes.
'Well they're being paid.' he said. Neville seemed to need to cough very suddenly. He was very bad at hiding laughter. James told him so. Neville grinned at him.
'Let's go.' he said. He lifted up Al, and took James' hand. 'Are you two excited about having a new sister or brother?' he asked them. They nodded.
'As long as it doesn't cry or steal my toys.' added James. 'If it does, then I'll send it back and pick out a new one.' Neville looked confused, but apparently decided he didn't want to know. A lot of people looked like that around James.
'Would you rather a sister or a brother?'
'Sister.' James and Al responded at the same time. Neville seemed amused.
'Any reason?' he asked.
'I've already got a brother.' said James. 'I don't need another one.' Neville laughed. They were walking down the stairs now.
They rounded a corner, when someone ran into them very hard.
'Watch it!' yelled the Someone. 'This is Auror business.'
'Ron? It's us.' Neville said. Uncle Ron looked at them. He said the same bad words that Neville had.
'James? Al?' James grinned.
'Hi Uncle Ron!'
'Where the...' he paused looking at Al ' ... hippogriff have you been? Your Dad thinks you've been kidnapped by Ex-Death Eaters! He called the entire Auror office in to find you!' James and Al winced.
'Really?' asked Al apprehensively. Uncle Ron nodded.
'We found some poor bloke transfigured into a squid and thought there'd been dueling. Merlin, you two! Can't you do what you're told for once in your life?'
'We were there for so long, Uncle Ron' said James. 'Weren't we Al?'
'Years.' said Al seriously.
'Did you two have a plan at all, or were you just going to wander around until you got caught?' asked Uncle Ron.
'We were going to go get Mummy and Daddy from the gift shop so that we could go home and play Quidditch.' Uncle Ron stared at them.
'Why, in the name of Merlin's saggy left...erm...earlobe, would your parents be in the giftshop?' he asked.
Al answered. 'To get the new baby.'
'At a gift shop?' asked Neville.
'There's a reason you don't have kids, isn't there Neville.' said James, shaking his head. Uncle Ron snorted.
'James told me all about where babies come from.' Al told them. Neville began to laugh.
'From the gift shop?' he gasped between bursts of laughter. Al and James nodded.
'You know, I think we can let Harry handle this.' said Uncle Ron, who was a strange shade of red.
Neville was laughing so hard he had to put Al down in case he dropped him.
They reached the Dragon Lady's room in a lot less time than it took them getting away from it. Their Daddy was standing by the doorway, very pale, his hands over his face.
'Oi, Harry!' called Uncle Ron. Daddy looked up.
'Daddy!' Yelled Al. James waved. Daddy ran up to them and took them from Uncle Ron.
'Where were they?' he asked. 'Were there any Death Eaters?'
'Nah,' said Uncle Ron. 'They wandered off looking for you and Ginny.' Daddy closed his eyes.
'Thanks, mate.' He looked at Neville. 'What are you doing here?'
'I heard James yelling at Gilderoy Lockhart and figured out what happened.' Daddy put his hands back over his face.
James decided he had been ignored long enough.
'When I told Neville what happened, he said...bad words.' said James. Neville went red, and Uncle Ron snickered. 'Want to know what they were?' Daddy looked at James, and rolled his eyes.
'I can probably guess. Why did you two leave the room? I told you to listen to what Healer Vane said.'
'It was James' fault.' said Al quickly. James glared at him.
'You didn't have to go along with him, Al.' said Daddy. James made a face at Al. 'And James,' he stopped making the face quickly. 'You didn't answer my question.'
James thought fast.
He put on a very innocent face.
'We wanted to help you pick out our new baby.' he said, widening his eyes and pouting a bit.
'Pick out...what are you talking about James?'
'At the gift shop.'
Neville started laughing again.
'They think babies come from the St. Mungo's gift shop.' supplied Uncle Ron, grinning. Daddy looked funny.
'Why don't we talk about this later.' he said. Then he grinned. 'Would you two like to see your little sister?'
'We have a sister?' asked Al.
'Yep,' said Daddy. 'Her name is Lily Luna Potter.' Al and James looked at each other.
'WE HAVE A SISTER!'
Daddy pulled his head away from them.
'Quiet please, boys,' he said, but he didn't look very mad. 'I'll be back,' he told Neville and Uncle Ron. 'Thanks for finding them.'
'No problem,' said Uncle Ron. 'And congratulations, mate.' Neville nodded. Daddy carried them to a room on the second floor. Al was quiet and still, while James squirmed excitedly and told every passerby that he had a brand new baby sister. Some people walked faster as they approached.
James suspected that it was Al's face that was scaring them off.
He told Al this.
Al hit him.
Daddy started walking faster.
A Healer laughed.
Daddy brought them into a room with green walls that matched the squid Healer's robes. Mummy was on a bed in the centre of the room, holding something in a pink blanket. She looked up as they came in.
'That took a while,' she said quietly.
Daddy smiled back at her.
'I just had to...sort out a few things.' he told her. He put James and Al down on the bed. Mummy smiled at them too.
'Would you like to meet your sister?' she asked them. They nodded, eyes on the pink blanket. Mummy pulled them in. James looked at Lily Luna Potter.
She was very pink.
She was very small.
And very wrinkly.
He decided he liked her better than Al.
'I'm glad you chose her.' he said. He saw Mummy give a very red-faced Daddy a funny look. Daddy shook his head. James kept staring at his sister.
Lily would be a good explorer too, he decided. They would teach her.
A Healer came in.
'Mr. Potter?' she asked. 'I'm sorry to bother you, but the Head Healer wants you to pay for the damage your sons did to the walls, and Healer Summerby says he might sue.'
Daddy said some...bad words.
Ya know, there's a lovely blue button down there...
So bright and beautiful and soooooo tempting to click on.