Carl froze dead in his tracks, absolutely speechless. Being suddenly faced with the virtual personification of his favorite fanfic characters was a shock. But he could also easily read in their faces their apparent aversion for his story so far, and they were clearly not amused. Cold fear began to grip his young fanboy heart.
He stammered, "K-Kim? Sh-Shego? Yuri?"
Yori's gaze hardened immediately. "Yuri? I trust you refer to the common Japanese female name, and not to the male-targeted manga of which I harbor an intense dislike. Otherwise, I would be compelled to offer a strong physical response to assuage my honor."
She casually tossed her samurai blade back and forth between her expert hands. Carl's fear ratcheted up a notch, and he desperately wished he hadn't consumed so much cola over the past few hours. Under his present physical and emotional duress, his bladder reacted in the only way it could. A dark spot appeared on his jeans and began to spread.
Shego chuckled, "Aw, Kimmie! We've made the kid wet his pants!"
Kim clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. A trace of a smile tugged at Yori's lips as well.
Carl began babbling, "P-Please don't hurt me! It's just a story, all in good fun! It's nothing personal, honest! I really do love the show!"
Shego crossed her arms and slowly began tapping her foot. Giving Kim a sidelong glance, she drawled half-jokingly, "Well Kim, do we kill him?"
Yori added with a conspiratorial grin, "Yes, Kim-chan, and shall we do it slowly and painfully, or with one quick merciful thrust?"
She slashed her blade down, easily slicing a thin sliver of wood off the end of Carl's desk. And with that blow, Carl finally reached his maximum threshold of fright and passed out into a heap on the floor.
The trio burst out laughing. Kim wiped a tear from her eye and asked Shego, "Now, you weren't really serious, were you?"
Shego just smiled back with a look akin to the Cheshire Cat.
Kim crossed her arms and began shaking her head. "Now, Shego, I really hope you're kidding, because we're not going to snuff the poor kid, even though your character might be capable of that. I think that's really a stretch even for you, but that's just way too over the top for me or Yori, please and thank you."
Yori solemnly bowed her head. "Except where honor is concerned, Kim-Chan."
Kim cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, riiight."
She immediately recalled the title of a recent Yori-centric fanfic and its fateful conclusion: Subtext of Honor. A small chill went up Kim's spine.
Kim tapped her chin as she quickly tried to consider any reasonable course of action. She let out a small sigh as she looked down at the teen passed out on the floor and remarked, "Poor Carl. Come to think of it, in some ways his devilish nature reminds me a little of the Tweebs, and I haven't killed them..."
She grinned and added, "...yet."
Yori smiled back and purred, "Of course, Kim-chan. Morally, we are still compelled to act as our characters would in the original show, unless a writer should script a new story."
Kim snapped her fingers. "Good point, Yori! Which gives me a totally spankin' idea ..."
A minute later, Carl began to come to. He found himself bound and gagged, seated in front of his computer. His hands however were just loose enough to reach the keyboard. Kim, Shego and Yori stood over him as he stared back at them, the fear still apparent in his youthful eyes.
Kim spun him around and began, "Okay, here's the deal. We're going to help you finish this fanfic, but with our input."
Shego spun him back to face her and lit her plasma to underscore that they meant business. "And we'll consider letting you live as long as you cooperate. Clear?"
The reflection of Shego's flaming plasma danced in Carl's frightened eyes. He quickly nodded, too dizzy now to offer even token resistance.
Kim grinned and began, "Okay then. Here's the sitch …"
In a little over an hour, the story was complete. After running it through spell check, Kim took the honor of hitting the submit button, and the story was officially posted.
"There. Now, fair warning Carl: no revisions to this story. Remember that I'm the girl who can do anything, and that means returning here any time I want to. Got it?"
Shego bent down and whispered huskily into his ear, "Yeah, and we know where you live now. Next time, you won't get off as easily."
Carl nodded again in complete understanding of exactly where he stood. With a nod from Kim, Yori cut his bindings loose with a quick slash of her blade.
Kim then quickly typed in a message to Wade: "Mission accomplished. We're ready to go home." In another few moments, a bright flash occurred, and the trio disappeared.
Carl removed the gag from his mouth, stood up unsteadily and walked over to his bed where he collapsed in relief that he was still alive and in one piece.
"Man, I've really got to get out more, just like Mom said."
A dreamy smile then appeared on his face. "But on the other hand, the three of them were all just so hot …"
As soon as they reappeared in Wade's room, he eagerly began grilling the victorious trio. "So what happened? Did you find the fanfic writer you were looking for?"
Kim easily answered, "Yup. And so not the drama: the little perv was putty in our hands. I don't think we'll be having any more problems with him. Especially with the help Shego and Yori here provided."
Both of the other young women beamed proudly, pleased that their intimidation had paid off so well.
Wade anxiously asked, "So, what did you ladies do?"
Shego answered, "Well, after scaring the hell out of him, we had him rewrite his little tome with a plot of our choosing. I'm now the Empress of Europe with Drakken as my henchman, and Midas is now on call 24/7." She sighed heavily. "Ah, no more waiting for his golden touch …"
Yori bowed slightly and continued, "And I have attained the deep honor of becoming the new Headmistress of Yamanouchi, with Sensei retiring as Headmaster Emeritus. I now enjoy the blessed duty and responsibility of leading my secret ninja school into the 21st century, and Sensei now has much more time for his gardening."
Wade then queried, "And what about you, Kim?"
Kim sighed happily. "Well, Ron and I are now engaged, but we'll be delaying the marriage until after I graduate from Harvard. But that shouldn't be a problem, as Ron will have plenty to keep him busy as the new CEO of Smarty Mart, after I had Martin Smarty choose an early retirement. But we'll still have enough time to continue our crime-fighting on the new Disney series, Kim Possible: The College Years! And Shego has promised to remain just bad enough for an occasional guest villainess spot."
She turned to face her green-skinned adversary. "Just so long as you don't use your mastery of Europe as a springboard to try and conquer the rest of the world, that is."
With hooded eyes, Shego merely grinned as she replied, "I'll take that under advisement, Cupcake."
Yori added, "And Kim-chan has left a possible pairing open for you as well, Wade-san. When you are older, Monique-chan will find you irresistible after you buff up on a SmartyMart 5000 exercise machine."
Wade exclaimed, "Wow! Thanks, Kim! That's just the kind of encouragement I need to get in shape!" He nodded in approval as he continued. "So, it looks like you gals had a really successful mission. Just out of curiosity, did you make any other changes?"
Kim began to blush. "Well, just one. I couldn't leave without a tip of the hat to another indispensable member of Team Possible …"
Within 24 hours, Carl was surprised at the record number of reviews to "his" story, many of them positive. He sighed softly to himself, sad that his latest Kigo had been hijacked by none other than Kim Possible herself, but pleased that he could take the credit for what seemed to be a popular story. He began reading the latest review.
I really enjoyed your story. It sounded at first like it was going to be another Kigo, but then it took that sharp turn and became something completely different. And your dialogue and characterization were incredible! It was like you were actually channeling Kim, Shego and Yori! How did you manage that?
And although I feel a college K/R engagement is a bit premature, at least they're holding off the wedding until after KP graduates. But Harvard? I thought for sure she'd attend college overseas. And Ron as the new owner of Smarty-Mart? Not sure if he's ready to handle that, but if he can defeat Warhok and Warmonga, running a corporation should be a piece of cake in comparison.
But the one thing I really couldn't buy was Rufus becoming the new manager of the local Bueno Nacho. For crying out loud, you know as well as I do that he'd literally eat up all the profits in nothing flat! Well, keep up the good writing. Later!
- Finis -
Just a reminder that this is a work of fiction, and all fanfic writers out there may rest assured that there's no way that any KP character could come to life and threaten a real person. I know this for a fact, as Shego informed me personally right before she torched my computer …