A/N: Dedicated to my friend Megan, who requested this.
It was something I should have never felt. It wasn't meant to be, it wasn't right. It didn't make sense. Hell, it didn't make any sense at all, as to why I felt the way I did. All I knew is it was there…and I did in fact feel it. Now whether he felt the same, I doubted it. I never lie to myself, so the thoughts of "it's hopeless, why even bother?" seemed to plague my mind daily. Every time I saw him, every time we talked, or were even in the same room, I could only hope. Hope that just maybe one day, by chance, we could go together. But hopeless wishing gets one nowhere, which is exactly where I expected my hopeless crush to lead.
I wasn't obvious about it at all.
I acted as though I hated the guy, and everyone, including him, believed it. I guess for that, I should've been thankful. This way, no one knew. Including him…Things were better this way, I thought. This way, no questions were asked.
As time seemed to go on, I couldn't help but feel lonely and dejected, though I tried to hide it. It had been at least two years, and still, my feelings for him burned stronger still. It became unbearable. I wanted so badly just to say it, just to tell him once and for all. But the thought of total rejection and humiliation held me back. I could imagine their faces…utter shock…or in his case…disgust. And that, I couldn't live with that… I'd rather stand by and watch, than be ignored and suffer the rejection. After all, that's what I was doomed to receive: rejection.
I guess that's why when that one day came…I was surprised. It was a day I couldn't help but think "Man, can this get any worse?". I was caught in the rain, alone and umbrellaless. It was cold, and I needed to get home…but earlier that day, I had lost my wallet…which held all my damned money. So the only other option was to walk, since cabs were out of the question. But of course, I was all the way on the other side of town. Frustrated and tired, I sat down on a nearby street bench and just let the rain pour down. I had nothing better to do…but wait for it to let up, and in the condition I was in now, I doubted that any store or restaurant would want me in there. Those yellow "Caution: Wet Floor" signs would be scattered everywhere if I did. And so, I sat there, like I had not a care in the world. I shut my eyes, and just sat there, letting the rain fall. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, but the rain never did let up. Although, for a split second, I thought it did. I opened my eyes in confusion. No rain stops that abruptly. I heard the sound of water pelting plastic. I looked up to see my head covered by a black umbrella. Surprised, I turned to look at his owner, and found myself even more shocked.
There he was.
"What are you doing? That's not very smart. You could catch a cold."
I was too shocked to answer and remember I just blinked a couple times before uttering his name in confusion.
"Well, who else do you think it is?" He retorted heavily with sarcasm. I found my voice again as I scoffed and pushed the umbrella off my head and over his instead.
"No thank you," I answered, "I don't need your charity."
"Not charity… how about, gesture of good will?"
"I don't think so," I answered stubbornly before rocking myself to my feet. He shrugged.
"Suit yourself. I'll just go offer my good will to some other undeserving idiot."
I watched him walk away that day, a smile present on my face the entire time.
"That idiot…" I muttered, kicking a rock to the side. "As if I'd give in so easily…"
After he was sucked into a crowd, I found the rain pounding persistently harder. I cursed under my breath and began to run, searching for the nearest overhang or tree. I finally found one, under a fancy hotel I had no right standing in front of. I remember receiving dirty looks from the doorman, but I didn't care. Let him think, it made no difference to me. I sighed and shifted my weight. Could this really get any worse?
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
That familiar voice startled me. I even jumped a bit when turning to face him. He smirked and once again poked the umbrella in my face. I rolled my eyes and shoved it back. His grin grew. This was just another game to him.
"Stop being so stubborn. You're never going to get home at the rate your going. This rain isn't going to let up anytime soon, so you might as well give in. So unless you want to get home sometime tomorrow, I'd come with me."
I paused a moment, weighing my options. Maybe this was my big chance, or maybe this was just another way for him to screw with me…
I decided that maybe fate and Lady Luck finally chose to smile down upon me. So, with a snide face, I accepted his offer. I earned another smirk from him as I stepped out of the overhang and under his umbrella. It was big enough we could both fit under it somewhat comfortably. But each time our shoulders brushed together, I found myself having to turn away so he wouldn't see my flushed cheeks.
"Here, I'll call a cab. Tell him your address once we're inside." He told me, as he stuck his hand out in attempt to flag down a taxi. Moments later, one parked on the curb and we clambered aboard. He took his seat next to me.
I sat there a minute, before he nudged me.
"Address?" He hissed.
"O-oh." I stuttered before blurting out my address. The taxi driver chewed his cigarette butt and nodded, taking off at frightening speed. I found that both of us were holding on for dear life. The plus (and down I suppose) was that we reached my house quite quickly. I turned to him and thanked him wryly for the ride and such and began to climb out, before he grabbed my arm. I turned to look at him with a confused look present on my face.
"Wait…" He murmured as he dug around in his pockets with his free hand. "Ah…here we are," he said more to himself than me. I cocked an eyebrow and waited impatiently, as did the taxi driver.
"Here." He commanded, holding out a familiar black leather article. I took it and opened it up. My wallet.
"I found it on the ground, not far from where I found you,"
"I-uh-Th-Thanks." I managed to say with much difficulty. But these actions only lead to more suspicion. "If that's true, then why not have given it to me back there, instead of paying for my taxi ride and everything?"
"I don't know…maybe it was an excuse."
"An excuse?" I repeated dumbfounded.
"Yeah, an excuse. To spend more time-"
"Hey, hurry up now, I ain't got all night," The taxi driver interrupted rudely, already preparing to pull out. He chuckled without humor.
"Well, this is goodbye for now then. Until next time I suppose," He told me as he shut the door. I heard him bark his address to the taxi driver. I watched in mild shock as the driver sped away. What had he been trying to say back there? I wanted to know…but what was done was done. I smiled and clutched the wallet in my hand. I'd have to remember to loose this thing more often…
It was after that day I realized that maybe, just maybe miracles do happen, and the impossible, can change to possible. As to whether or not anything else will happen, it's hard to say. Maybe…just maybe. If we're both not to stubborn to admit it, that is. But for him, I guess it's safe to say I'm willing to wait.