May I not lose you

By phoenixgirl23

DISCLAIMER: Wicked is not my creation… unfortunately.

AN. Hello, everyone. I've kind of been playing with the idea of writing a Shiz-era Fiyeraba AU fic, that does not follow the story of the musical. So, here this is and I'm very nervous about it. Thanks to Gabgalrox for the title, I hope you like it.

Boq kind of has a small role in this story, he's mainly there in the background, but I had to have him in. Also, I think Nessa and Elphaba's relationship is probably closer to the book than the musical, but just go with it.

Chapter One

The morning sunlight flickered in through the open window, caressing Fiyero's form with a gentle breeze. He welcomed it, despite the early hour it was clear it was going to be another warm day, a sure sign of the beginning of summer. Stretching, he opened his blue eyes and blinked a few times, wishing he'd thought to close the curtains before going to bed the night before. Rolling over to his side, a soft smile appeared on his face as his gaze found the slender emerald form of his girlfriend, sleeping peacefully beside him.

At that moment he was glad he'd forgotten to close the curtains, allowing the sunrise to wake him. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd been able to watch Elphaba sleep, usually she was awake before him on the rare times they'd spent the mornings together.

The unlikely couple, well unlikely according to every student on campus except those who actually knew Elphaba and Fiyero well, had been together just over six months now, having begun dating just before Lurlinemas the year before, which surpassed any relationship Fiyero had had previously. Even with Galinda, they had barely last a month before she realised dating a 'scandalicous' prince wasn't all it was cracked up to be- especially when it was obvious to anyone with half a brain he was falling head over heels in love with her roommate. Which meant, of course, everyone knew except said prince and said roommate.

All it had taken was a quick push from his ex-girlfriend however, and the memory of a Lion Cub, before Fiyero realised the truth and had hence begun barrelling his way through the twenty years' worth of walls Elphaba had built around herself. But six months later here they were, and Fiyero had a few precious memories of the last two months of being able to go to sleep with Elphaba in his arms and for her beautiful emerald face to be the first thing to see in the mornings. She didn't stay often, whilst not expressly forbidden, it certainly wasn't encouraged, and as Elphaba reminded Fiyero constantly every time he convinced her to stay the night, she was only here at Shiz to care for Nessa and couldn't risk getting expelled.

"This is my only chance of a life, Yero," she'd pleaded one of the first times. "I can't risk losing it."

Fiyero hadn't understood. "What do you mean your only chance of a life? What did you do before you came to Shiz?"

She shrugged lightly. "I've run my father's household since I was twelve. I've cared for Nessa since I could walk, and I've studied and helped Nessa study for just as long."

"But what about the future? After Shiz?" he'd pressed and she'd laughed bitterly.

"I'll go back to Munchkinland and run my father's household and care for Nessa. When she becomes Governor, I'll run her household and care for her."

At Fiyero's stunned look at such a dim future for Elphaba, the beautiful, brilliant, passionate girl before him, she'd smiled.

"I've known this all my life, Fiyero. If I hadn't come to Shiz, I wouldn't know I was missing anything. But now do you understand why I can't risk getting expelled?"

He had, and he hadn't pressed the issue since- much. But as he lay there and watched her sleep in the morning light, he longed for the chance to do so every morning.

It was strange, he mused to himself. His story was nothing new, the party-loving, playboy falling in love, he knew that. But wasn't there supposed to be a moment of panic when he realised that he was in love? A feeling of overwhelming distress where he discovered he was coming to love and rely on one person and could quite happily do so until the end of time?

But Fiyero hadn't experienced that, only a powerful feeling of bliss and contentment whenever he held Elphaba in his arms, or made her breath catch in her throat with only his touch or a kiss. His life with Elphaba, his love for Elphaba, was a spiral of dizzying happiness and intimacy. And he knew, despite her disbelief that someone like him could love and want someone like her and the sometimes crippling fear that came with her own happiness, she felt the same way.

They only had a few more days before their summer vacation started and Fiyero was already dreading the two months that would pass before he would see her again. He'd wanted her to come to the Vinkus with him to meet his parents, but she had reluctantly refused. Not particularly wanting to spend the next two months with only her father and Nessa around, Elphaba had written to her father asking to do a few summer courses at Shiz; but Frex had denied her request, stating she had responsibilities at home, like caring for Nessa. There had been no point, she'd reasoned, in even asking to go to the Vinkus to be with her boyfriend.

Frex knew, from Nessa's letters, that his eldest daughter was dating the Vinkun prince, and knowing his reputation he hadn't approved- not for Elphaba's sake, but for what affect their relationship may have on Nessa's reputation. But when Nessa had assured him that their relationship was 'appropriate' Elphaba believed was the word Nessa had used, Frex had dropped the subject, which was as close to his approval as they would get.

Fiyero was content to lie there all morning and study Elphaba's fine features, but she startled him by abruptly muttering,

"What have I told you about watching me sleep?"

His heart jumping out of his chest, Fiyero chuckled and leaned down to kiss her gently.

"I can't help watching beauty."

She scoffed slightly, before her large brown eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze.

"You're an idiot," she said fondly, which was as good as an "I love you" from her.

Fiyero grinned and pulled her closer. "Besides," he murmured. "I'm not going to see you for a whole two months. I have to memorise you completely in the next two days."

Elphaba rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Just think of it as sixty-two days instead of two months. It'll go faster."

"Sixty-two days," Fiyero repeated thoughtfully and his face brightened. "Hey, you're right! That does seem shorter!"

Elphaba sat up and began to dress, much to Fiyero's disappointment, but he chose not to comment.

"That means you'll get sixty-two letters," he mused and she turned to look at him over her shoulder, amused.

"Really? You're planning on writing every day?"

"Aren't you? Won't you miss me, Fae?" he asked her, pouting in mock injury.

She laughed and although only dressed in her slip, crawled over the bed to sit between his legs, facing him.

"I'll write as often as I can," she promised, kissing him softly. "And if you doubt I'll miss you, you really are brainless as you used to pretend to be."

Fiyero grinned like an idiot, basking in the genuine love in her eyes. Then her smile became a faint smirk.

"Although I can think of several professors who would be amazed at the knowledge you are capable of writing sixty-two letters."

She moved away, but Fiyero pulled her towards him, rolling her under him with a grin.

"I never said they'd be long letters," he said and kissed her deeply, adding another item to what he would miss in the next two months.

Eventually, and much later than they usually emerged on the rare occasions Elphaba spent the night, they snuck out of the boys dormitories and headed across to the cafeteria, where they found Galinda, Boq and Nessa at their usual table, all nursing tea or coffee and the remainders of their breakfasts.

"Morning, Fabala!" Nessa greeted her older sister cheerfully. "Did you sleep well?"

Elphaba smiled briefly. "Fine, Nessa. You?"

She was surprised to see a worried expression on the face of her roommate. Wordlessly, she frowned inquisitively at Galinda, who spoke slightly louder than usual as she replied.

"Oh, Elphie- I hope you aren't too mad at me for turning your alarm off, are you? I just thought you should sleep in for once now that all our exams are over."

Elphaba was startled for a moment, before she caught Galinda's significant and subtle nod towards Nessa, and she understood and smiled reassuringly.

"It's- it's fine Glin. I guess if I slept this long I must have needed it," she played along and Galinda beamed at her.

It was an unspoken agreement amongst their group that Nessa never knew of the particular aspect of her sister's relationship. Not only because she was so prim and proper she would never approve of Elphaba and Fiyero's "sleepovers" as Galinda called them, but because Elphaba was sure she would tell their Father, who would definitely not approve.

And Fiyero never had to come up with an excuse, because he was rarely up before nine and it was almost expected for him to sleep late.

"I'm going to go get some coffee. Yero, do you want anything?" Elphaba asked her boyfriend, standing up.

"Just a muffin, thanks Fae," he smiled up at her.

Galinda jumped to her feet. "I'll come with you, Elphie. I could use some more tea. Boq, Nessa? Do you want anything?"

Both declined and the two girls headed for the beverage stand in the corner.

"Thanks for covering for me," Elphaba said gratefully but Galinda shrugged.

"That's what friends are for, silly. Besides, it's not like you're late often so it was easy. What kept you, though?" she questioned.

Elphaba laughed slightly. "Do you think it's possible to have separation anxiety before the separation?"

Galinda giggled. "Sure. It's only natural that you're going to miss Fiyero, Elphie but two months isn't that long-"

"No, not me," Elphaba corrected her. "Fiyero."

Galinda laughed. "Goodness that boy has it bad."

"He reckons he's going to write to me every day," Elphaba rolled her eyes as she added milk to her coffee.

"Every day?" Galinda repeated, raising an eyebrow as her friend grabbed a muffin for Fiyero. "How long do you give him?"

"About a week," Elphaba sniggered. "You?"

Galinda thought about that for a moment. "Oh, I don't know. He is crazily in love with you."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow and her roommate grinned. "I'll give him two and a half weeks."

Both girls laughed as they returned to the table.

AN. For those who have read my other stories, you may know I was supposed to go see WICKED for the third time next week. Because of all the flood damage in Queensland, the performance has been postponed til at least March. I expected this, but I'm still sad and disappointed… there may have been tears, even though I know I've been lucky enough to see it twice and there's a lot more important issues going on than me seeing WICKED, but still... So, I'd really love it if you'd all review and make me feel better.

As always, constructive criticism is welcome, no flames please.