YAYNESS! ANOTHER CHAPTER!.. yeah, it DID take forever. D:
So, in this chapter, they're probably going to get into some serious crap with the landlord. Or maybe he'll be too much of a hick to care. Well, he's still the the guy who gave them the crappy cabin in the first place and told them it was amazing and clean and whatnot. Bitch move, they owe him. xD
Anways, well, here ya go! More argument! n_n
"Solomon," Haji yelled through the downpour, a ball of mud in his raised (and soaked) fist. "you are going to get the whipping of your life!" Solomon was up once again, although he no longer looked his beautiful pristine self. Covered in dirt, mud, and soaked to the skin already, he was... smiling?
Well, he had, after all, wanted a mudball fight... kind of. He got to pelt mud at Haji (if he got lucky, maybe he could tackle him too), that was all that mattered. Now was his time to shine. Metaphorically, sadly. He brought out his best aggressive football player voice. "BRING IT ON!"
Haji swooped low and grabbed another handful of mud.
There was nothing to hide behind: just the two of them, tall grass (made only half as tall as usual by the rain, which made it useless for ducking in), and a lot of mud and water. A fantastic area for an all-out-super-epic mudball fight. Solomon smirked.
Haji flung a handful of mud at Solomon so fast he never got the chance to stop smirking, and Solomon replied with an equally large mudball that landed directly in the center of Haji's chest. He immediately dramatically before returning the favor by hitting Solomon in the face for the second time. Solomon gasped. Haji had just gone too far... No one picked up any mud anymore.
They squared off, man against man, glaring through the rain as they stalked each other in a circular motion.
Basically, idiots walking in awkward circles.
"ARRRRGGGHHHHH!" Solomon let a war cry go, making for Haji as fast as he could. He brought down his hand on Haji's head, rubbing the mud through his black locks thoroughly. The look Haji gave him next made him run (Laughing like a madman the entire time, of course. That was to be expected. It was Solomon.)
While looking back at the slightly muddier version of Haji and sprinting for the door, Solomon forgot how short the distance was. And of course, without the calculation of distance in mind, our beloved Solomon ran directly into the cabin door.
Haji was now the one laughing. "Hah! Sucker!" Solomon groaned and reached for his forehead, the part which had hit the door hardest. Haji took his time in getting pefectly positioned to enjoy the look of Solomon in pain, standing over him at the correct stereotypical villan angle. After roughly ten seconds of standing there and laughing at Solomon like an evil guy, the moment lost its charm. Haji knew exactly what it was time to do.
It was time to leave Solomon alone, in pain, and lying in the pouring rain, locked out of the cabin. Smirking, he turned from the groaning blonde and reached out to turn the handle.
...That was odd.
It wasn't turning.
Haji tried again. Nothing.
He had a hunch of exactly what had happened.
Thin-lipped, he turned to Solomon. He had stopped groaning and was now on his feet, clearly waiting to follow Haji inside. Apparently, neither one of them was about to get their wish. "Solomon, I'm going to try not to slap you when you give me the answer to this question. OK?" Solomon nodded, apparently clueless. "Did you or did you not close this door?" Solomon shook his head no. Haji slapped him anyways.
"Did you or did you not turn the lock on this door?" Solomon took a really deep swallow and put on his best puppy eyes, in the hope Haji wouldn't feel the need to slap him again. His answer was the ghost of a whisper. "...Yes?"
Haji backhanded Solomon. "YOU'VE LOCKED US OUT, YOU IDIOT!"
Solomon raised his head, both cheeks displaying fresh red handprints. He had been slapped twice. He was NOT going to be slapped three times. He let his anger take over. "WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO AGREE TO COMING OUT HERE!" More anger. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME STUPID, PRETTYBOY?" Solomon was beginning to realize just how much this was going to cost him. "...Maybe..." Well, if he was ankle-deep in crap, it really wouldn't matter how much further he sunk. "...MAYBE I DID! WHAT'CHA GONNA DO, EMO BOY?" Haji knew exactly what he was going to do to the fracking moron. He tackled him. "-NO!" Solomon screamed, staggering backwards. Using the last of his strength, he threw Haji off, propelling him through the open air.
Haji went directly through the large picture window of the cabin.
"...Shiz." Solomon stood in the rain and wind in shock, staring at the now shattered window. He lost track of time very quickly. Solomon didn't know how long he'd been staring, and perhaps he wouldn't have stopped staring if a stray newspaper hadn't hit him in the face. Blinking water out of his eyes, Solomon removed the soaked newspaper from his face, throwing it to the ground, and shook his head to clear his mind. He started a slow, timid creep toward the open window.
Haji was totally out cold, lying on the floor that was now splattered with rainwater. His cuts had already healed, although the blood stains still remained on his clothes from the fall and glass. In fact, he looked quite like a corpse- he was certainly pale enough to play the part. "H- Haji? Haji... what have I done?" Solomon said brokenheartedly, frozen at the window frame.
Sure, they hated each other. But when your worst enemy dies, not only is it hard to find a new one, but it's never the same again. It's like trying to find a new pair of lucky underwear in Wal-Mart. You just aren't going to.
Solomon stepped through the window, carefully avoiding the shards of glass that now covered the slippery floor. Sniffling, he shuffled towards Haji. Saya was going to be so pissed.
Solomon looked down at Haji, who had been looking down at him no more than a minute ago (a truly not-so-endearing moment). It all seemed so long ago, now. Now that Haji was dead. Solomon was trying not to think about burying him before he broke down and lost it beside Haji's body. "HAJI! OH MY GOD, NO HAJI! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE IN THIS CABIN! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIX THE WINDOW WITHOUT YOU, AND SAYA IS GONNA BE SO MAD, AND THE LANDLORD'S GONNA BE EVEN MORE ANGRY AND YOU WON'T EVEN TO TO BE ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD!" Sobbing loudly, he flung himself to the floor and bawled, banging his fists against the floorboards as the rain pounded him and his surroundings.
"Unngggh... Shut up, Solomon." Solomon didn't stop his excessive wailing. In fact, all he did was look up and shout: "BEGONE, APPARATION!" "I'm not a ghost, you idiot- why are we inside? Am I having some sort of unconcious dream?" Solomon crawled further away. "I SAID GO TO HEAVEN! GROW SOME ANGEL WINGS AND TAKE FLIGHT!" Haji -very painfully- got up. "Solomon, I'm not a ghost. If I was, my body would still be lying there on the floor." Solomon took one very suspicious look between Haji and the floor. He did it again. "...I've got my eye on you. No funny moves."
"Right." Haji grumbled. He turned to sit on the chair and froze. That was the first time he noticed the shattered window, despite the rain that poured in through it. Drops hit him in both eyes repeatedly, but he didn`t blink.
Haji's thoughts were repetitive: The window is gone, what do we do, no more window, what do we do, empty window frame, what do we do-
"HAJI!" Haji snapped out of his trance and turned to a very distressed Solomon.
"What the hell do we do?" He screamed at the blonde, who was looking at the window and frowning in deep thought. It took Solomon's wild imagination only a few moments to come up with a quick-fix. "I know what to do, Haji." For once, Solomon shut up. Just when Haji didn't need him to. This was going beyond the point of 'normal' ridiculous to total crack ridiculous. Solomon didn't move, and Haji gave him another ten seconds. Nothing.
"...WELL?" Haji finally shouted. Solomon narrowed his eyes and turned from the window to Haji. Haji frowned. Was he trying to look badass? "Let's kick some ass and block some windows." Apparently. Solomon strode to the empty window frame with his hands clasped behind his back, looking more like a harsh general than his usual moronic self. "WELL MEN," Nope. Still moronic. He shouted as though he were talking to an entire crowd of people, although Haji was the only one in the room. He wasn't exactly adding to the charisma of Solomon's act, slouched on the chair arm and waiting for Solomon to give up the charade.
"WE HAVE A BROKEN WINDOW." Solomon stretched out an arm to emphasize his point, and lowered it again before speaking. "THIS WILL NOT DO FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN SLEEPING IN THIS RAMSHACKLE TARDSHACK TONIGHT." Haji facepalmed. "WHICH MEANS," Solomon was just getting started. "THAT WE MUST REPAIR IT. FEAR NOT," Solomon raised his arms and was suddenly tempted to shout: 'MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, ARE YOU READY TO RECEIVE-' He resisted. Arms still raised, he continued on-topic. "I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO. DO IT BRAVELY AND WITHOUT FEAR-" Haji could just feel the full-time rant coming on.
"CAN WE JUST FIX THE GOD-DAMN WINDOW ALREADY?" Solomon dropped his arms and gave Haji a look that implied how he had just taken out the awesome of the moment. He sighed. "Go find some garbage bags." Haji cocked an eyebrow. "Why-" Solomon cut him off almost instantly. "-JUST DO IT!" Haji scrambled off the couch and to the cupboards. It was no good. He'd checked them all. Well, except for five that Solomon himself had done. Haji jumped onto the counter and re-checked.
Number one out of five was filled with literally nothing but air.
Number two had a dead cockroach on its back in the corner, and the bug trap that must have killed it way too close to Haji's face for his own comfort.
Number three had an empty bag of Doritos.
Number four... had garbage bags. YES. Haji said nothing; snatching the entire box and hopping off the counter, running to Solomon and almost slipping on the way- the floor was liberally soaked with water. It was hard to move anyways, with all the glass in the way. Solomon managed somehow.
"Good." Haji watched as Solomon reached into his back pocket, the blonde cocking an eyebrow at Haji's own puzzled expression. He pulled out a roll of duct tape, smirking. "Why do you have duct tape on you?" Haji asked, honestly surprised, and yet not surprised at the same time. Surprised because nothing was more random than duct tape in one's back pocket. Not suprised, because it was completely like Solomon to have a strange and seemingly useless object at a time like this. "Don't ask stupid questions. Watch and learn, biznatch." ...Biznatch?
Solomon briskly removed a garbage bag from the small cardboard box, stowing it inside his jacket. Haji watched as he began taping the corner of the garbage bag to the corner of the window. Haji got the idea, and 5 minutes later, they had a very white-trash window replacment and a very wet cabin.
The laptop was now undoubtedly ruined, the chair had absorbed water like a sponge and released droplets when poked, and the floor seemed freshly mopped. Thankfully, the back of the cabin was fairly dry. The two single beds were, miraculously, untouched by the horrible weather. They both stood back and admired their work. Solomon turned to Haji.
"Am I a genius, or what?" He said, grinning. "...Creative is as far as I'm going." Haji said, looking at the window. He didn't think much of it, unlike Solomon. Frankly, he disapproved of the thing entirely. However, he really didn't have much of a choice unless he wanted a flooded cabin.
Haji gave Solomon a look of distaste. "You're filthy." Solomon returned the favor. "Well, so are you!" Haji scratched his chin. The only thing they used the pump for was tap water... plumbing existed. If the toilet could work... yes. This would work very nicely.
"Well if we're both so damn filthy, why don't we just use the pathetically small shower back there?" Solomon's eyes slowly widened before they quickly narrowed.
"...I CALL IT!"
I know, stupid way to end a chapter. BUT, the next one should be very enjoyable. Second-last chapter, folks! D:
I'm SOOOO sorry it took pretty much forever! I know I'm ridiculously slow. How many freaking weeks has it been? Many, many days have passed. But now, all I can say is that I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I guess! :D
REVIEWS ARE MOTHERFRACKIN' LOVE~!