She Called Him Comrade.
A month before graduation Dimitri left Rose to take Tasha's offer. Years later he reassigned to the academy specifically to train a very special Novice. Once there he has to face Rose and the mistakes he made.
The night in the cabin happened and so did the attack on the school. Rose saw Mason but couldn't hear him. Dimitri was never taken and turned. Rose hadn't fully opened up to Dimitri about all the strange things that being shadow kissed has done to her; so he doesn't have as clear understanding that she is different.
I have said that I wont post this till after I finish So what now but since I am not sure how much longer I will be writing that one I decided to go ahead and post chapter one. This is an alternate timeline so you may see some reoccurring characters. Thank you to Rangarose for being my Beta. Please read her story Life changes sometimes.
I do not own VA But that which is mine I share with you.
Chapter 1: Returning
I sat there looking out the window of the court Jet thinking about everything that has happened in the last seven years. When I left St. Vladimir's Academy I left much more than a prestigious job guarding the last Dragomir. I left half of my heart and soul, I left my Roza. Before I had met Rosemarie Hathaway; my only focus was being a guardian. Even when I was guarding my best friend Ivan, and work was also fun I didn't let women distract me from protecting my charge. If he had not made me take a day off then he might still be alive. I retreated into myself after Ivan's death. I was assigned to St Vladimir's and given the task of finding Princess Vasilisa Dragomir and her best friend Novice Rosemarie Hathaway. The pair had run away a year and a half before and no one had yet been able to locate them. I threw myself into the task of tracking down their almost nonexistent paper trail. I didn't socialize with the other guardians. I worked my shifts and spent my spare time looking for the girls.
My world changed the night I captured them. The first time I saw Rose was when I was spying at the bedroom window of the house they were suspected of living in. Rose had jumped out of bed and gone to the princess's side just before the princess had begun to scream. She began to sooth the princess, calming her from her nightmare. What I saw her do next amazed and repulsed me at the same time. Rosemarie or as I would soon refer to her, Roza, tilted her head and exposed her neck to her friend. I know that they didn't have access to feeders but to see her offer herself was almost beyond the call of duty. I was mesmerized by her beauty and her selflessness. Shortly after, I was privileged to see the depth of her bravery as she fought against me, a fully fledged Guardian, while she was surrounded by eleven others. She had to have known that she didn't stand a chance of winning but she fought till the princess silently told her to stop. I remembered the stories my grandmother had told me about the great Guardians and how they had a bond to their charges. I watched how the girls interacted and I suspected that these two girls were bonded; if bonds are really possible that is. (Yeva and I didn't see eye to eye on her superstitious, future vision nonsense.)
When we returned to the academy and Headmistress Kirkova threatened to expel Rose I knew I had to intervene. Somehow I ended up agreeing to Mentor Rose and help her catch up to her classmates. This decision changed my life more than any other before. The more time I spent with Rose the more I fell deeply in love with her. She was like my oxygen under water.
My feelings for her were exploited by Viktor Dashkov in an attempt to prevent us from coming to the princess's aid. Thankfully we broke his lust charm in time to rescue Lissa. After that both Rose and I tried to hold back our feelings for each other but it was sometimes impossible. I came so close to losing her when she and 4 others were held captive by Stigoi. I couldn't imagine a world without her. Even if we could only be guarding partners, I wanted to stay by her side forever.
Things changed between us the night of the infamous attack on the school. That night when Rose had taken way too much darkness through her bond with Lissa; I dropped my guard and let Roza know how worried I was for her. I let her know I loved her with all my heart. She accepted my love and found the strength to let go of the darkness. Her eyes offered me her love and for the first time I really accepted it. It was in that one look that I was changed. I felt as if I had given her my soul and in exchange I received hers. That night we made love for the first time. The electric energy that seemed to flow between us anytime we touched must have intensified because anywhere our skin touched hummed with energy.
That night I made plans that would allow us to date each other once she graduated. She would continue on as Lissa's Guardian but I would transfer to court so that I would be near them and Roza and I would not be putting the Princess in jeopardy. Those next months had been the happiest in my life. Rose and I let Kirkova and Alberta know about our relationship and to our surprise they already knew. We were not allowed to be open about our relationship till after graduation but that was ok with us. We knew that once we were out as a couple then we would have to face the scrutiny of others but that was something that we both agreed we could face together. We had to continue with our trainings and every once in a while Alberta would check on us to make sure we were training and not doing some other kind of 'exercise'.
After Rose's 18th birthday we were allowed two full days a week for 'training' outside of the wards. On those 'training' days I took her camping all over the beautiful state of Montana. I loved spending time with Roza, and I was able to teach her some survival skills when we were camping. I was surprised how fast she learned and within just a few weeks we only took a back pack and sleeping bags. God, how I loved our camping trips! We would use branches and make ourselves a lean-to instead of pitching a tent, and make love for hours. I have to admit sometimes I would sneak into her room at night. In those two and a half months my Roza and I made love twenty seven times and I remember each and every encounter. Over the seven years since I left I have relived them in my mind countless times.
I sighed. I have so many happy memories of my life here. I have to be honest with myself and admit that my very worst memory happened at St. Vladimir too. A little less than a month before graduation when Roza and I would finally be able to be a couple and be open about our relationship; I left her. It was the biggest mistake I could ever have made.
My mind automatically flashed to the catalyst for my decision. Rose had been acting funny for a few days. I tried to ask her what was wrong but she would just smile at me with a strange look on her face like she was excited about something but worried about how I would react to it. A few days later I got a clue when out of the blue Lissa asked me how I felt about having children. I was honest with her and told her.
"I have always wanted children of my own but since Rose and I can't have children then I don't want them."
"What If Rose got pregnant."
As Dhampirs we are told from an early age that it is our responsibility to make sure to continue our race. As a result it is not socially acceptable for Dhampirs to have a relationship or marry other Dhampirs. Still some couples chose to be together any way. To relieve their relationship from scrutiny; many woman will purposely get pregnant by a Moroi. The thought of Rose allowing any other man touch her made my blood boil and my heart hurt.
"If Rose got pregnant then I would know that she cheated on me." My voice sounded much harsher than I meant for it to and the princesses eyes grew big and she looked like she was about to cry.
"Rose would never cheat on you. She loves you more than you know. Sometimes I am jealous of how much she loves you." Lissa almost whispered to me. As she turned I saw her wipe a tear from her face.
Later when I snuck into Roza's room her mind seemed to be somewhere else. When we made love that night she didn't seem to be into it so I stopped and just held her. After a moment of holding her she began to sob. I held her till she fell asleep. I listened as she began to talk through some fitful dream. She never said any coherent sentences but she said the word baby almost a dozen times. She also said both comrade and Dimitri several times.
It occurred to me that maybe she really wanted to have a baby. She is still very young and her Guardian career hasn't even started but perhaps she felt the call to mother hood already. I loved and still love Roza but I couldn't stand by and watch her get pregnant by some random Moroi or worse. I know Adrian Ivashkov would be more than willing to provide stud services. It hadn't slipped my attention that Adrian has been paying special attention to her lately. I also didn't want to stand in Roza's way if she wanted a child. I made the only decision I thought I could at the time. I called Tasha Ozera and told her that I needed to take her up on her offer.
The couple of days later Alberta came up to me; she had been very standoffish since I told her about my decision to guard Tasha. She has worked here since rose started school 14 years ago. To her Rose was the daughter she never had. She also knew that I had not yet told Roza about my decision.
"Guardian Belikov I need to have a word with you?"
"Lord Ivashkov and the Princess are going to court this weekend. They are leaving in a half an hour. Rose will be going with them so I have to inform you that you're 'training day' will have to be canceled. Also I was wondering if you would delay your flight till after they come back. She gets back at 3 am Sunday. Maybe you could wait till sunup? I think Rose might have something she wants to talk to you about." Alberta sounded like she really wanted me to stay but I knew that It would be easier to leave if I didn't have her watching me go.
"I am sorry but I can't postpone my departure but if it's important Chris has Tasha's number and Rose has my cell number." Alberta shook her head and walked away mumbling something about me being no better than a Royal Moroi by leaving her after I had my fun and how I am making a huge mistake.
I did go to see her off and as the others boarded the plane Rose ran to me and jumped into my arms. I held her tight and took in her sent for the last time. We kissed each other passionately. When we pulled away she cupped my face.
"Dimitri I want you to know that I love you and no matter what happens; I love you and only you. You own my heart Comrade."
In the back of my mind I wondered if Rose was planning on conceiving a child with Ivashkov. Perhaps she already had and she just didn't know how to tell me. I love her so much but I just couldn't stand the thought of her carrying his child.
"I love you too Roza." I let her down and watched her board the plane. I went back to my room and wrote her a letter.
I know that you want a child and most likely Ivashkov will be the one to help you conceive one. I love you so much and I want you to be happy. I won't stand in your way but I could not raise a child who was not mine. I have decided to guard Tasha. I wished you well in your life I know that you will be a great Guardian and a great Mother. I still love and care for you so much more than you could possibly know. If you need me I am a phone call away.
Love your Comrade.
I left the note on her pillow where I was sure she would find it. On Saturday morning at 7pm I boarded my plane and left my heart in Montana.
Life with Tasha was easy. We had been friends for ten years and I cared about her has a friend. She had known about my relationship with Roza and she had asked why I left but she respected my privacy when I told her I didn't want to talk about it. Every once in a while she would suggest that I call Roza and try to make-up with her. Mostly Tasha was a loyal friend who was there for me.
Nearly a year into guarding her she asked me if I would father children with her. This was a hard decision for me because I really wanted children but I had given up on the idea when I fell in love with Roza. I knew that I had given up any chance of ever being with Rose again and most likely she had already moved on.
After a couple of months of thinking about it I agreed. One night Tasha and I had a romantic dinner and we tried to get intimate together but thoughts of my Roza kept me from actually having sex. Tasha was having trouble getting into it with me because though we had always had an attraction; she realized that she really saw me more like a brother.
She still wanted a child so Tasha decided on using a medical procedure that humans do when they have trouble conceiving. Tasha made an appointment for us at a human clinic. There was a Moroi doctor on staff there who would be personally taking our case. Tasha had to go through a round of hormone treatments that would make many eggs mature instead of just one or two that would normally happen. Then she had to have a procedure to harvest her eggs. I was given a cup and told to go into the other room and fill it with a sperm sample. Thinking of the first time I had snuck into Roza's room and held her in my arms all night; I filled the cup. The Doctor examined a drop of my sample under a microscope and said that my sperm count and motility were good. When they tried to put my sperm sample together with Tasha's eggs my swimmers wouldn't work. I guess it was not meant for me to have children. Tasha went through artificial insemination using human donor sperm.
She gave birth to a little boy that she named Connor Jacob Ozera. Conner was the closest I would ever come to having a child. I loved him more than I could have imagined. It made me feel guilty to love him because I realized that I could have loved any child that my Roza had. If I had known about artificial insemination then I could have suggested it so that Rose could have a child without having to sleep with anyone but me.
As easy as life with Tasha may have been I was not truly happy. I missed my Roza. I avoided her at her trials and graduation even though I had gotten an invitation from Alberta to participate in both her trials and graduation ceremony. Within weeks of my move I called a friend of mine who worked at court. I asked him if he had seen Rose around court. He told me that he hadn't but he would ask around. A few weeks later Kristov called me back. He told me that Lissa had declined the queen's offer to live at Court and go to Lehigh. In a desperate attempt to keep the last Dragomir close she compromised with her and allowed her and her Guardians to live close to court in a mansion owned by Adrian Ivashkov. He told me that Rose he had noticed that Rose never came to court with Lissa but that Guardian Eddie Castile (Eddie had been assigned to Christian) and Guardian Janine Hathaway would accompany them. He did find out that Rose Guarded Lissa along with Janine when Lissa went to school or anywhere out of court. He asked me why I was interested and I gave him some crap about being interested about how my former student was doing. He told me that he still kept tabs on one of his former students too and that he would let me know anything new. I received a call from him again a few days later. Apparently Janine and Adrian had found out that he was snooping around and he was threatened to stop. He was also given a message for me. "If you really care to know how she is doing then you should call her or better yet come see her yourself. But if you do you better be ready to stay no matter what you see or hear."
Christian and Tasha kept in contact with each other but he never said anything about Roza nor would he answer any questions that Tasha asked. A few times Chris and Eddie came for a visit but they never spoke of her. They didn't speak much to me at all.
Three and a half years after I had left Rose, Christian and Princess Lissa were married. Tasha, Connor and I flew back to court for the wedding. I was so nervous because this might be the first time I had seen Roza since her Trials and graduation. I had hid from her then because I was too much of a coward to face her. Rose is the Princess's best friend; I fully expected Rose to be in the wedding party but instead she was one of the guardian's standing against the wall. I tried not to stare at her she was beautiful. Her face and body were no longer the body of the eighteen year old I last saw. Instead she was completely a woman. She was scanning the room and her eyes met mine briefly. Pain and betrayal flashed in her eyes. Her eyes fell on Conner who was standing on my lap looking at the procession behind me. Her eyes softened and I saw love and sadness as she looked at a point behind me. I turned my attention back to the wedding when Tasha made a sound of aw. I looked behind me and gasped.
The flower girl walked down the aisle and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She looked like a mini Rose. Her long dark brown hair was braided in a style that Rose used to sometimes do on her own hair. She had a small braid just behind her each of ears that held just the front and top hairs. The two braids were brought together into a single braid in the back. The rest of her hair was down in soft curls. She had skin that was just a shade lighter but it held the same tone as Roza. She had Roza's eyebrows and lips. If she had been younger I would have thought that she could have been Roza's child but she was too old. The little flower girl must have been about five years old. She flashed a smile at the guardians along the wall. Her smile could light up a room.
I wanted to talk to Roza at the reception but she was nowhere to be seen. Tasha tried to find out information from Christian but Christian would not tell her anything about Rose. When I asked; he and Lissa told me that Rose asked them not to say anything about her other than that she was doing well and she hoped that we were too. I tried to find out information from Kristov at court but he told me that most of Rose's file was confidential and kept in the care of the queen herself. The only thing he was able to tell me was that Rose had earned eight more Molnija marks since graduation. I was shocked to hear this. Most guardians can go years between encounters with Strigoi. To hear that my Roza had encountered that many Strigoi made me shiver with worry for her. I was also proud of her. She had turned into even more of a badass guardian than I imagine myself to be.
Over the next three years I was lucky if I got even a snip-it of information about Rose. I know that she is still Guarding Liss but that she is also working on something else and she answers only to the queen about it. I know that Lissa is now teaching at St Vladimir's and if she is there then so is my Roza.
A few days ago I was told that I was being reassigned and that the queen herself would tell me what my assignment would be. I packed all my belongings and left Tasha and Conner for court. I was heartbroken to leave them. Tasha was like family to me, I loved her like a sister. Connor I loved like my own. I knew that they would be ok. The guardian that was assigned to them was known to be one of the best. Also over two years ago Tasha had begun to date someone who I actually approved of. He loved her and treated her well and he also loved Connor. His name was Jonathan Conta and he and Tasha are engaged to be married on Valentine's Day. It pained me to know that I might be replaced in Conner's life.
Queen Tatiana had a private meeting with me and when I say private I mean private. Normally there would be at least three guardians standing behind her and she would have one of her advisers seated next to her. There was no one else in the room but the Queen and I. I went over the conversation again in my head.
"Guardian Belikov I thank you for coming. I do realize that I have pulled you away from your family and for that I am truly very sorry. I have a task for you that is, of the upmost importance to me. Seven years ago you mentored Rosemarie Hathaway and today she is probably the best Guardian there is. I have another novice that is in need of mentoring. She is a very special person to me and it is my wish that you take the task of mentoring her."
"I would be happy to accept the honor. May I ask where I will be working?"
"She is a student at St. Vladamir's" My heart began to pound hard. Yes I miss Roza, and I long to see her, but after all these years I don't feel that I have the right to be in her life anymore.
"You're Highness might I ask, why have me mentor this girl; Guardian Hathaway is working there and as you have said she is probably the best guardian."
"Guardian Hathaway has been mentoring her but there are extenuating circumstances that prevent Guardian Hathaway from being able to mentor Annemarie on a regular basis. Between her administrative duties and the work she does for me her time is quite limited. She also has quite a lot of personal responsibilities that I do not wish to pull her from."
I was finally getting some information about my Roza. I knew enough not to ask about anything the queen might have her working on or anything regarding her personal life; but I could possibly learn more about her work at the school
"Well due to the number of kills she has made and her….. 'Remarkable' skills she is now the Captain of the guardians. Though tradition mandates that she take the position as captain she would not fully take the job away from Guardian Petrov so she shares administrative duties with her. I have to say that it is a partnership that works out quite well."
I wanted to keep asking her questions but I sensed that this was all she would answer.
"When do I leave for the Academy?"
"Your Flight leaves at 5:00 PM. I want you there before sundown. When you get there Guardian Petrov and Headmistress Kirkova will brief you. Then you are to observe Annemarie. Rose…. Guardian Hathaway will introduce you to her and after that you will begin your sessions."
I wonder she is still single? Does she have any children? Could she ever forgive me?
The plane began its decent breaking me out of my reverie. The plane circled over the school. I noticed that there was a new road that led from the airplane hangar past a gate at the property line; the road lead north through another gate to a small compound that looked a lot like a small school. This was something totally new. My thought about it were cut short. Through the trees in the south west corner where our cabin should have been I spotted the roof of a very large house like structure. I sighed thinking that maybe it was a good thing that I wouldn't be able to go and reminisce about the first time I made love to Rose. It was going to be hard enough to face her again. She was probably with someone now. Tasha and I were good friends and I was for all intense purposes father to her son, but she never could replace My Roza.
1. Do you think Dimitri was right that Rose wanted to have a baby?
2. Tasha seems to want Dimitri to make up with Rose. Do you think she was being genuine?
3. Why did Dimitri's swimmers not work with Tasha's egg? (if you read So What Now you might know the answer.)
4. Why wasn't Rose in Lissa's wedding party? Who was the Little Girl?
5. What is Rose doing for the Queen?
6. What do you think the smaller school like compound is and why is it attached to the School's landing strip?
7. Why is there a large house standing where the cabin should be?
I like to do Pop Quizzes at the end of my chapters. This gives you a reason to review and I love to read what you thought. sometimes my questions might give you insight into where the story is going or what I thought was interesting. Any way I would love if your do the quiz but any review is welcome.
Suzanna AKA SnowGoose