Being on this plane, flying to Washington, it didn't seem real, like this wasn't really me, this wasn't really my life. I think it was because it had all happened so fast. It was hard to believe that only a week ago I was living happily at home in Virginia, just starting my senior year of high school with the greatest friends in the world, a dad who let me do basically anything I wanted, and the boyfriend of my dreams (the thought made me cringe.)

I stared out the window, my heart beating erratically in my chest. I could feel it sending vibrations down to the pit of my stomach. I clenched my abs in, but it did nothing to help. It wasn't that I was afraid to fly or anything, no the plane didn't bother me at all, it was the thought of what would happen when I landed that got me so nervous.

I was seeing my mother for the first time in a year. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mother and I knew that she 1. loved me better than anyone else, and 2. knew me better than anyone else, and it was for both these reasons that I was so scared to face her.

But I didn't want to think about it. I tried to focus on anything other than what I was doing, why I was on a plane, where I was heading. I had spent the whole plane ride trying to keep all reminiscent thoughts out of me mind. For the past week all I had been doing was trying to avoid thinking about it. I glanced over at the lady next to me, she had her headphones on and was reading a magazine.

I was so stupid not to grab a book or something before boarding the plane. A seven hour plane ride with no distractions was the worst place to put yourself when you were trying to avoid the thoughts in your own head. They were all I had for company, and they kept creeping up like an unwanted guest.

I stared fixedly out the window. I had to think about something else to keep the bad thoughts from coming up on me. Anything but my reason for leaving Virginia. My mind fixed on my mom, then inevitably I started thinking about her new family. It wasn't like these were all unicorns and candy canes either, but it was still better than the alternative.

My mom and my dad had divorced a year and a half ago. I guess looking back I should have seen it coming. I think I actually, subconsciously, kind of did. I knew they weren't happy, hadn't been for along time. Yet still, it somehow managed to take me by surprise. "We want you to know that this wasn't your fault," they had both stressed the divorce cliche. Yeah, yeah, thanks mom and dad. Great, it's not my fault. I feel a lot better now.

They had gotten split custody of me. My mom had moved out of the house and I had traveled back and forth between them. That is until six months after the official divorce, my mom dropped the bomb. She was getting remarried and was moving to Washington. Just like that. I know it was selfish of me, but I was furious with her. Just when I was starting to get used to the situation, starting to adjust to the life of having divorced parents, she goes and changes the rules again completely. And not only was she getting remarried, oh no, she was moving across the country.

I should have been happy for her. Carlisle seemed nice, though I had only met him once. I thought back to the meeting. I had showed up at mom's house unexpected. I was supposed to be staying at my dad's that night, but I don't know, I just missed my mom. Dad wasn't going to be home anyway. I used my key to get in when I had gotten the surprise of my life. My mom was sitting on the couch, kissing a man.

"Mom!" I remember my voice coming out at a higher pitch and decibel than I had meant it to. The only thing I could feel at the moment was shock. I stared at them as they pulled apart. I had never seen the man before in my life. I noticed that he had blonde hair and was definitely handsome in a distinguished way. I watched as they looked at me with as much shock as I must have been reflecting back at them.

"Rose!" my mom squeaked back. Like mother like daughter. At that moment, I wasn't even angry. No, that would come later. I was just completely, unequivocally, surprised. I mean, if you knew my mother, you would understand why this was so. She was definitely not the kind of person to be kissing someone I had never met on a couch in a darkened living room.

We both were just staring at each other. Carlisle looked slightly unsure of what to do, but as my mother and I were just staring, he cleared his throat and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Carlisle. You must be Rosalie. I've heard so much about you."

I shook his hand. "Wish I could say the same," I quipped back, looking pointedly at my mother. She only looked guilty. The anger had started to enter my body now, and the look of guilt on mom's face only intensified it. I was justified in my anger! She looked guilty because she knew this too.

"Right," Carlisle scratched the back of his head. "I should probably go to let you guys talk."

"Esme," he turned to my mom, the expression on his face was so gentle, so caring, "I'll call you tomorrow." His eyes were intense as he looked at her, like he was sending her a secret message. From the secret smile she sent back at him, I'm guessing she understood what it was.

For some reason this made me angrier. Perhaps because I was jealous. She was my mother. I didn't even know this man and they were sending knowing looks to each other. It's odd, but I don't think I would have been as angry if in fact it were just some strange man, a rebound guy, that she was kissing in her house. Instead it was someone who obviously meant a lot to her.

Carlisle let himself out the door. It was closed for a good couple minutes before either of us spoke. It was mom who ended up breaking the silence.

"Rose," her voice was cautious, like she were talking to a wild animal about to attack.

"So who was that?" my voice was deceptively calm, but my mom knew me too well. She knew I was angry, hurt.

"His name's Carlisle Cullen. I knew him from college. He...well...oh honey, I didn't want you to find out like this," she shrugged her shoulders and took a step toward me, I simultaneously stepped back. A look of hurt flashed in her eyes, but then it was gone and there was only concern, and pleading for me to understand.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" My voice was cold.

"Rose, come on, come sit down," she gestured toward the couch, wanting me to follow her into the living room out of the entrance.

"Mom," my voice was sharp but I didn't care. "I don't want to sit down. I want you to tell me why you lied to me."

"Rose," her voice was now slightly admonishing. "Listen. I...it all happened so fast. I didn't lie to you, I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to upset you. I was trying to protect you."

I stared at her icily. "So how long had it been going on, between you and Carlisle?"

"Rose, please come sit down," mom once again gestured toward the living room. This time I relented and sat next to her on the couch.

"Well, I guess you could say we officially started dating about two months ago." The way we were sitting together, on the couch, chatting together, it was like how it was supposed to be. My mother and I had always been close, but only now it was like some creepy funhouse mirror, something was off, oh yeah, the fact that my mother had been keeping a secret boyfriend from me.

Two months ago. Officially. Then it dawned on me. "Two months ago. That was when you went away for a week, to Washington. You said it was to visit an old friend." My mom looked guilty again.

"Oh honey, if you would just let me explain."

"You went to Washington with Carlisle, didn't you?" I questioned her.

"Well-" which was admission enough for me.

"So you've been dating him for two months officially. How long unofficially?" I questioned her.

She didn't say anything, just stood there. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

That's when I caught sight of it. I'm not sure why I noticed it then, or why I hadn't noticed it before, but there it was, nestled on her left ring finger, a small diamond.

It was almost like I could feel the blood draining from my face. "You're getting married!" It was an accusation.

"Rose-"

"What the hell!" I shouted, it was like I didn't even know my mother anymore. I felt betrayed. It all suddenly seemed so clear to me now. It was probably sudden with her and Carlisle, but not that sudden. He was the reason mom and dad had gotten a divorce. He was what finally set mom over the edge. She got a divorce to be with him.

The news bowled me over. I had always kind of thought that it was dad's fault, just assumed it really. Dad was the one who was never home. He was never reliable, always starting arguments. I guess I even had my suspicions that he had cheated on mom, not that there was any proof of that though, or that I actually had been looking. I guess I always preferred to stay blissfully unaware.

But now the truth came out. It was mom. She was the one who had been seeing another man. How long had it been really going on? Though I really didn't want to talk to her, the question had me curious enough to do so.

"How long mom?" I knew she would know what I meant.

"Rose-"

"Please," I cut her off, "If you don't tell me, I'm sure I'll only imagine it worse."

I had to give her credit. At least she was honest now; she didn't shrink away. "I ran into Carlisle again about a year ago. He was here for a medical convention. At first it was just good to see an old friend. We became pen pals of sorts. My feelings grew from there, but nothing happened until after the divorce. I promise you that."

It was so much worse that it was my mom who was at fault. I guess I wouldn't have been as angry at my dad because I didn't trust him as much. I expected more from mom. I expected her to tell me.

"I'm going home now," I had said and turned to leave. She hadn't tried to stop me. It wasn't until the next day that she had dropped the last bomb. Carlisle lived in Washington and she was moving there to be with him, him and his two kids.

She had asked me to go with her, but I had refused. I said I wanted to stay and live with dad. It was going to be my senior year, all my friends were here. I think that's why in the end she left me with so little of a fight. She didn't want to hurt me by taking me away from all my friends. I knew that she did it for me, I knew that, but somehow it still hurt, like she didn't really care if I went with her or not, she had a new family.

I thought about that new family now, the family I would be intruding on. Carlisle, the good doctor, and his two kids, Edward and Alice. I didn't know that much about them, except that Edward was a senior like me, and Alice was a sophomore. I pictured them as the perfect kids, the perfect happy family. I was an outsider, they would resent me coming and ruining their happy existence with my depression.

My reminiscing turned into a little, personal party of self-pity. I had two parents, two places to go, but both were unacceptable choices. I couldn't stay home in Virginia, couldn't face high school again, couldn't face him, but I also didn't want to face my mother, nor Carlisle, Edward, and Alice. All the anger I had held for my mother I now directed toward myself. She had asked me to go with her and I hadn't. If only I had, it wouldn't have happened.

Unintentionally, the memory came back to me. Just a flash of pain and humiliation. A strangled sob. The smell of sweat. I fought the memory off by screaming silently in my mind. I put my head between my knees. I started to breath very deliberately, in and out, in and out.

When I was calm again, I sat back up. The woman next to me gave me a curious look, but I was too tired to even manage a weak smile, I just turned my head back toward the window.

Only a week. Only a week ago my life had been so different.