A/N: Soooo after Miz and Punk teamed up last night when I went to RAW...yeah (Seriously, WWE, I know you guys read this site.). I figured it was a sign I had to update this. Warning: sarcastic, asshole Punk in the way I hope he is in real life.
Just tell me what you have to say and then, for the love of Diet Pepsi, shut up.
Beth Phoenix stared down at her empty bread plate with tired looking eyes.
CM Punk, or Phil, in this case, picked up the basket of cheddar biscuits and extended it out to her. "Stop staring down at your plate and eat if you're hungry," he said.
Beth slowly shook her head.
"Beth, you give me sex, I buy you food at esteemed places such as this Red Lobster we are currently sitting in. Now eat, woman."
The smallest grin attempted to spread over the former Women's Champion's mouth, but Beth quickly snuffed it out.
Phil groaned as he placed the basket back on the table. "Look, toots, I'm not an idiot. You're sitting there waiting for me to ask you what's wrong, right? Well, I don't play that game, sugar. Act like an adult and tell me what's wrong instead of pussyfooting around like a high schooler. Spill."
Beth's eyes darted up and glared at Phil for the briefest moment before returning to their saddened state.
"I can't see you anymore."
Phil shrugged. "Lady, I ain't John Cena. You're going to see me no matter what."
"You know what I mean," Beth sighed. "I cheated on Cody with you, and I'm still doing it. I decided I need to stop. I'm going to stay with Cody."
The Straight Edge Superstar reached into the bread basket and pulled out a cheddar biscuit before taking a large bite out of it. After swallowing, he said, with cheddar biscuit in hand and waving it around as he spoke for emphasis, "Well, are you going to tell the kid? I mean, if you're going to keep your panties on and try an honest relationship with someone as young, innocent, and delicate as Mister Rhodes, he deserves to know the truth. Don't you think?"
"I can't tell him. He'd leave me!"
"Should have thought about that before you gave another man the key to your chastity belt. I'll tell him!" Phil offered, finishing off the biscuit and reaching for another.
Beth looked at Phil with pleading eyes. She grasped the edges of the table tightly as she leaned forward and said, "You can't. You'd ruin me."
"It's a good thing I'm lazy, because you're about to ruin yourself," Phil said, nodding towards the door that was behind Beth as he popped the rest of the biscuit in his mouth.
Beth quickly turned around in her chair to watch Cody Rhodes walk into the restaurant with Layla El on his arm.
"Oh, Beth...You're here," Cody mumbled upon seeing his girlfriend.
"So are you," Beth retorted. "And you," she said, looking at Layla. "You piece of trash excuse for a wrestler."
"Nice insult, Manazon," Layla said, rolling her eyes and inspecting her manicure. "Cody, have you even realized she's here with another guy?"
Cody couldn't look at anything but the floor as he turned a bright shade of red.
"I'm done with you," Beth said, sitting back down with Phil, who was working on his third biscuit and watching the scene unfold in front of him with an extremely amused look on his face.
"This is better than the movies," he whispered to himself with a smile.
"He's been done with you, obviously. Let's go somewhere else, Cody. I don't like seafood anyway," Layla demanded, dragging Cody out the door.
The pair sat in silence as people who were sitting nearby couldn't stop staring. Beth put her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands.
Phil broke the silence. "Well then, I think that was enough excitement for one day. I'm out of here." He stood up and put on his jacket before walking over to Beth's side of the table. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "And by the way, thanks for dinner."