He was aware of L staring at him as tears slipped down his cheeks the death note clutched tightly in his hands as he realized that he was a fool. Large grey eyes that had haunted his every waking moment for the past few weeks were looking at him with worry and that hurt more than anything. "Light-kun?" he said softly his eyes even wider than usual. Light's hands shook as he held the note-book.
"It's nothing." He said softly his lips trembling as L nodded his eyes wary.
"I suppose it would be unnerving to see a shinigami for the first time." He said absently before returning his gaze to the mess outside the helicopter. Light smiled thinly and quickly moved his hand to his wrist watch opening the compartment and pricking his finger before carefully writing the man's name on the tiny scrap of paper he watched as if through a watery underworld the sights and sounds muted as the man died. With a click he shut the small compartment of his watch and played his part his mind twisting around as he thought. That night he was freed from the handcuffs yet it felt more like an imprisonment than a freedom he could tell that L was frustrated and the joy winning usually brought Light was bitter sweet. For the first time in weeks he left the building unattached and unwatched yet he felt unsafe and lonely twitching in annoyance at the slightest infraction. When Rem finally caught up to him he was sitting on a bench in the park lighting up his first cigarette.
"You do not smoke Yagami Light." Rem pointed out looking slightly cautious. Light found himself smiling wryly as he sucked in the toxic air.
"Not until now I didn't." he croaked his eyes blank. Rem tilted her head to the side eyes narrowed.
"Something is wrong then? I thought that your plan had worked well Yagami Light." She said her voice betraying her curiosity. Light lifted his head and leaned it back staring up at the sky through the trees.
"It worked wonderfully." He said dryly. Rem frowned in impatience and he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth blowing out the smoke. "Tell me Rem, am I like a shinigami?" The winged creature tilted its head to the side in thought.
"You certainly kill like one Yagami, but- you aren't as lazy as a shinigami." Light nodded his head and looked at her with tired eyes.
"I feel like one right now, I feel old- so very old." The shinigami nodded.
"It will pass." She said. "We shinigami all feel that way every once in a while." Light nodded and flicked the cigarette crushing it with his foot as he pulled out another one and lighting it.
"If you had the chance to be loved by Misa, would you give up everything you've ever believed in?" He asked. The shinigami nodded.
"I would." Light nodded and took a deep draw from the cigarette.
"You see then Rem, I understand it now…the willingness to rid yourself of everything you had once held dear for the sake of one person." Rem narrowed her eyes.
"You are not speaking metaphorically Yagami Light." Light laughed weakly.
"I believe that I have found my own Misa, the one person I would give up everything for." The shinigami nodded her head slowly a look of almost respect entering her gaze.
"What do you want me to do?" She said. Light smiled thinly.
"Burn it." He said a coldness entering his eyes. "Burn both of them and don't let Ryuk stop you, it's time that I ended this. Kira must die." The shinigami nodded her head and his hands trembled as he dropped the second cigarette to the ground.
"And what of Misa?" She asked softly. Light sighed.
"Can you make her forget everything, even about me?" he asked. The shinigami looked thoughtful before nodding.
"You believe that she would be happier this way?" She asked and Light nodded.
"She will be safer this way…the world will be safer this way." The shinigami nodded.
"Very well Yagami Light, tonight Kira dies." Light nodded his head and let out a sigh chuckling at himself as tears slipped down his cheeks.
"Some god I was." He whispered. Rem looked down at him and sighed.
"Light-san…the one thing you were lacking as a god was the ability to love…now you are a god. It does not take power or knowledge to be a god." Light looked up at her and nodded his hands squeezing the box of cigarettes.
"Whatever you say." He whispered before shoving the box in his pocket and standing. "Please do it as quickly as you can." He said his voice choked and broken. The shinigami nodded.
"Very well." She said before her wings lifted and gave a great whooshing sound as she flew away leaving Light alone staring into the night. He laughed lightly and rubbed his eyes before heading down the sidewalk. It was time to go home.
Light groaned as he cell phone went off and groped at his side table in annoyance swearing under his breath as he found it and pressed the small green button. "Hello…" he croaked groggily sitting up suddenly as L's voice filled his ears sounding distressed.
"Light-kun where are you." The voice demanded as he looked at the clock…three am….damn it.
"In my bed sleeping." He said slightly petulantly though he had to admit hearing L's voice wasn't too bad even at this hour. There was a pause on the other end.
"I asked where you are not what you are doing." L said curtly causing him to roll his eyes.
"What do you want Ryuzaki?" He returned sounding just as curt. There was another long pause.
"The death note has been destroyed." Said the other man his voice trembling. That woke him up.
"huh!" he said stumbling in the dark as he stood still not accustomed to being in his room after so long being away. Finally he turned on the light wincing as his eyes stung from the pain. "Ryuzaki what-how-" he stumbled terribly his voice sleep roughened.
"Please come to headquarters Light-kun." L said softly and Light felt his chest constrict.
"Alright I'll be there in a few minuets." He said heading to his closet. "Shit." He said softly forgetting he was still on the phone.
"Light-kun?" Ryuzaki said in surprise. Light sighed.
"My clothes are still at headquarters." He said darkly. There was a pause on the other side.
"Ah, yes I had forgotten about that…you could come in your pajamas?" L offered lightly causing Light to raise an eyebrow and look down. He was wearing the pair his sister had given him with the little hearts and teddy-bears littering the soft flannel…
"It's fine I'll borrow something from my dad." He said sighing as he envisioned L nodding his head in thought.
"Very well then I will see you soon." L said before hanging up. Light groaned and rubbed his eyes again before heading to the laundry room where a set of freshly cleaned pants and shirt awaited him. He sighed as he locked the house behind him and pulled out a cigarette cursing himself for the weakness it was becoming before walking down the street. He jumped as a hand fell on his shoulder.
"I didn't know you smoked Light-kun." Matsuda said tilting his head to the side. Light blinked and let out a sigh rubbing his eyes.
"You startled me." He said pulling the cigarette from his lips and letting it fall to the ground a smile on his face as he crushed it. "It's a habit I just picked up recently; it would be nice if you didn't tell my father about it." He said rubbing the back of his head. Matsuda's eyes widened and he immediately nodded his head.
"Of course Light-kun no problem." Light nodded his head.
"So I take it Ryuzaki called you out too?" as asked. Matsuda blinked and nodded.
"Yup I was just waiting for Watari-san he said he would pick me up. Light hummed and nodded before absently pulling out another cigarette and lighting it. "I think he'll pick you up too." Matsuda said eyeing the cigarette. Light took a deep breath before glancing at the man.
"Sorry does this bother you, I'll put it out…" he said pulling it away from his lips Matsuda grasped his wrist and smiled nervously shaking his head.
"Its fine Light-kun…I just never thought of you smoking is all." Light smiled crookedly too tired to put any thought to the fact the man was looking at his lips for far longer than he should have been. Lights suddenly lit up the small street nearly blinding them as the car came around the corner. Light dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his foot as Watari drove up beside them.
"Ryuzaki-san is waiting for you." He said as they got in the car. Light nodded absently before staring out of the car window not really in the mood for small talk. By now Rem had probably destroyed both death notes, in a way the thought was freeing he knew of course that he had placed himself entirely at the mercy of his own hopeless emotions but it was alright as long as he had the chance to stay beside L. The man was by far the most intriguing man he'd ever met and the only one intellectually strong enough to keep up with him. He felt somewhat as if he had thrown himself into a pit of the lions and L was the one who could decide whether or not the lions attacked. Yet he was fine with it, he was completely at ease putting his life in the hands of the detective.
"Does Light-kun feel troubled?" Matsuda asked softly his hands wringing nervously as a small blush crept up his neck. Light frowned wishing that the other would simply leave him alone.
"No just tired, very, very tired." He said with a frown. Matsuda seemed to light up and was suddenly rambling on allowing light to tune him out and nod every once in a while until they got to the home base. He sighed happily as the smell of coffee hit his nose the moment they opened the car door. A feeling of anticipation filled Light with every step they took through security- with every step closer he was to L. When finally the doors open he gasped as cold steel was placed against his forehead a loud click filling the room. Grey eyes were narrowed as the long pale fingers wrapped around the guns handle. Light ignored the shouts of outrage that sounded through the room and caught Rem's gaze before letting his body relax noticing the charred spot on the table where the death note had been. Slowly he lifted his hand and grasped L's wrist, at first the older man resisted his eyes narrowed but Light just smiled thinly and pulled the tensed arm down pressing the barrel of the gun to the soft skin just under his jaw.
"Light!" he father cried out his face pale and sweating. Light ignored the man and held L's gaze before letting his hand slip free of the warm smooth wrist. Rem nodded softly a smile on her face before she slipped out of the room.
"The death note is gone." L said coldly but Light could feel the way the man's hand trembled slightly. Light nodded.
"I see." He said softly. He watched the man's face begin to crumble and the hand released the gun letting it clatter to the ground with a deafening sound.
"Damn it." Ryuzaki said clenching his teeth as he took deep breaths. "DAMN IT!" He cursed and before Light could stop himself he was moving forward pulling the man to his chest. L stiffened and pushed away causing Light to release him letting his arms fall away as if it had never happened ignoring the way grey eyes were staring at him wide and confused. Instead he moved forwards examining the table where the death note had been.
"Who was here when it happened?" he asked examining the damage. There was a pause before Ryuzaki answered apparently having gathered himself together well enough to be suspicious once more.
"Just Watari and I." He said softly his voice void of all emotion. Light stood and sighed looking up at the cameras.
"Have you viewed the footage yet?" he asked tilting his head to the side. L's eyes widened.
"I forgot to." He said biting his thumb as he quickly made his way over to the computer.
"Light go home." His father said his eyes hard. Light tilted his head to the side and sighed.
"What good would I do there I'm already awake." His father narrowed his gaze accusingly at L.
"It's not a matter of what good you'll do it's a matter of safety I'm pulling you from this case." L stopped clicking on his keyboard and Light felt his eyebrow twitch.
"I refuse." He said softly causing the team members to gasp. He had never outright refused his father before, his father gritted his teeth.
"Light go home." He said straitening his back. Light shook his head.
"I'm sorry but I refuse father." He repeated tiredly. The telltale sound of L turning around in his chair reached his ears and the weight of L's stare seemed heavier than usual. His father's gaze turned hard.
"Light this isn't a request this is an order GO. HOME." Light sighed and shook his head.
"I can't." He said softly lowering his gaze. His father moved forward suddenly and lifted him by the front of his shirt.
"WHY! DAMN IT LIGHT! He had a gun to your head!" He gasped shoving Light back so that he stumbled only to be caught by Matsuda. Light shook his head.
"Father, I can't and won't leave, I've invested too much into this to just leave things as they are." His father panted slightly and shook his head before reaching down and pulling off his belt tossing it to the side.
"Then don't bother coming home anymore Light because I'm not about to watch my son die, I'd rather have no son at all." He hissed before striding out of the room. Light let his eyes fall shut before sighing and pushing away his emotions.
"Have you found the video yet." He said standing up and brushing Matsuda away. He avoided the analytical gaze as the silence filled the room broken eventually by a loud beep on the computer. Without a word L turned around in his chair and brought up the window. As he suspected the camera showed no movement for a while until suddenly and inexplicably the death note burst into flames. It was a good hour later before L finally entered the room just as the flames were dyeing away and the table was marred with a deep black charred circle.
"No one touched it." Matsuda said quietly his eyes wide. L narrowed his eyes but Light was the one who said it.
"No one that can be seen on camera anyway." He said quietly catching empty grey eyes.
"But we've all touched the death note we should be able to see the shinigami…" Aizawa said frowning.
"The death note has been destroyed." L said biting on his thumb.
"So we can no longer see the shinigami?" Matsuda said softly in realization looking at Light with wide eyes. Light nodded his head and stood up.
"Or…" he said softly and thoughtfully. L turned to look at him his eyes narrowed.
"Or what?" he asked suspiciously. Light frowned.
"The death note said that anyone who did not use it within fifteen days would die right?" He said Ryuzaki nodded his head.
"Yes but that rule did not make sense to me." Light nodded his head absently refusing to go for the bait.
"What if there was a reason?" he asked Ryuzaki narrowed his eyes.
"What kind of reason Light-kun?" Matsuda asked blinking widely.
"What if Kyosuke Higuchi wasn't the real Kira like Ryuzaki kept saying?" Ryuzaki shifted forward his chin resting on his knee in anticipation.
"Is Light-kun admitting to being Kira?" He asked quietly. Light rolled his eyes.
"No, I'm saying that this whole case seems to be like some sort of fairy-tale." Ryuzaki frowned.
"Explain." He demanded. Light sighed.
"A shinigami is like the devil right?" He said causing L to nod. "What if the original Kira made a deal with him in order to receive the power to kill?" Ryuzaki frowned deeply and nodded.
"That is plausible but it does not explain why the death note was destroyed." Light nodded.
"What if the fifteen day rule was meant for the original Kira?" He said softly causing Ryuzaki's eyes to widen in understanding.
"In all the tales about people making deals with the devil there was always a catch, if the original Kira did not fulfill the rule then the shinigami a demon perhaps would destroy his method of killing and in return…" Light winced.
"Take his soul." Ryuzaki bit his thumb his eyes wide.
"Kira was a soul passing from person to person…"
"Which was why we couldn't catch him." Light said. Matsuda blinked.
"But why didn't he just possess Kyosuke Higuchi?" he asked quietly. Light frowned in thought.
"Maybe he was trapped in a body for a certain amount of time." Aizawa offered with a shrug. L nodded slowly.
"Then Kira could have been Light-kun and that is why the killing stopped…he was trapped inside Light-kun and Kyosuke Higuchi somehow found the death note before Kira could escape Light-kun's body and find a new body to inhabit." L said quietly before looking at Light with hard eyes. "Why did you turn yourself in Light-kun?" he said coldly. Light turned away not able to face the man.
"I-" he swallowed thickly. "I thought I was just zoning out at first." Ryuzaki leaned forward in his chair and the others gasped.
"You were loosing time?" Ryuzaki whispered intently. "Waking up in places you don't remember going?" Light closed his eyes tightly.
"I thought I was going crazy, I thought the stress of studying and worrying about Kira was becoming too much." He whispered biting his lip.
"But?" Ryuzaki pushed. Light took a deep breath.
"I don't remember…I just woke up and something was screaming at me."
"When Light-kun? When!" L whispered urgently. Light crossed his arms over his chest.
"I knew you were L before you even told me and I didn't know how." Ryuzaki sat back in his chair slowly.
"You didn't come to us right away." He said accusingly. Light shook his head.
"No it was only a suspicious thought I had at first, but then I got to know you better and the screaming seemed to get more and more urgent."
"And Misa-san?" L said quietly. Light frowned and opened his eyes.
"I don't remember meeting her. She just appeared one day and started going on about how we were dating." Aizawa rose his eyebrows.
"And you didn't think that was weird?" he asked. Light cringed.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Matsuda nodded.
"Yeah that would make sense…Light-kun is both handsome and smart, it would make sense that he would have girls chasing after him." Light frowned uncomfortably as the others nodded in agreement.
"Light is extraordinarily intelligent…" L said softly looking passed Light and at the blank wall behind him. "And Light-kun has a strong sense of justice, something he has been taught since he was little…Kira would of course think him an excellent choice as a host…" Light felt the heat rise to his cheeks and lowered his face hiding the blush but too late.
"Ah! Light-kun is blushing…" Matsuda said with wide eyes a blush rising on his own cheeks as Light glared at him. Ryuzaki smiled thinly. "Light-kun also has a strong spirit, if Kira had chosen anyone else to be his host I do not think that he would have allowed them to turn themselves in…Light-kun however would have fought him." The others blinked in amazement and stared at Light causing him to frown deeply.
"What!" he said taking a step back.
"Light-kun if this is what happened it would make you a hero! You fought Kira and turned yourself in keeping him from killing more people until his time was up." Aizawa said in awe, Light's frown deepened and he shook his head roughly in denial.
"No." he said roughly his body beginning to tremble. "No, I am no hero." He looked away from them trying to hide his self-hatred; he was no longer acting the part, because in L's eyes this was what he was. "I'm a murderer." He whispered quietly. He knew of course that this would give him a permanent place with L, the man would never let him go now, but it hurt because he knew he could never have the one he loved.
"That's why you can't leave the case…" Matsuda said breaking the long silence tears dripping down his cheeks. "That's why you made Yagami-san mad enough to tell you not to come home." Light became stiff as the man suddenly threw himself at him holding him tightly as he sobbed into his shirt.
"Uhhh Matsuda?" Light said tightly trying delicately to remove the man. Ryuzaki was smiling widely ignoring the entire thing.
"Light was Kira! I knew it!" He said finally causing Light to wince visibly and the others to glare at him Matsuda especially who finally pulled away from Light.
"Light-kun trapped Kira!" Matsuda shouted shocking them all and causing an argument to break out. Light smiled sadly and slipped from the room when L was distracted typing furiously on the computer with a self-satisfied look on his face. Light sighed as he entered the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor leaning back against the wall with his eyes shut his mind empty and tired. He needed to be outside away from Ryuzaki's accusing eyes. He didn't remember exactly how it began though he could guess that it had probably happened while they had been handcuffed…he had found his own Helena of Troy; if he were a shinigami he would simply crumble away to dust. The elevator dinged and he took a deep breath before stepping outside into the cold darkness. He could see the city lights below winking at him like a thousand multi colored stars as the wind tickled his cheeks. Almost automatically he pulled the package of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one inhaling deeply as he tried to ignore how quickly he was becoming a chain smoker. It was hard to believe that Kira was gone, that he had given up being a god for the sake of someone who would never love him as desperately as he was loved. He had given up justice he supposed, in a way he was like the god of the bible giving up on the people he'd created, and all for what? Love? Unrequited love at that…he smiled wryly and stomped out the cigarette pulling another one as he moved closer to the edge.
"Am I a god? Or the devil? An angel? Or a demon?" he said aloud his voice carrying in the wind.
"You are nothing but a mere human." Light jumped horror flitting over his features as he turned around seeing Ryuk floating behind him. Light felt the tear slip down his cheek.
"Are you going to kill me then- shinigami?" he asked tilting his head to the side as he lit his cigarette. "After all I ruined your fun for you." He said blowing out the smoke. The shinigami narrowed its eyes and laughed.
"You'd like that wouldn't you? Better than being trapped like this weak with loove." He drawled causing Light to pale.
"Don't touch him." He said softly. "I'm the one you want." Ryuk laughed loudly.
"I told you Light I don't care one way or another what you humans do, and I could just get another death note. If you want to spend the rest of your life pathetically that's fine by me." Light relaxed slightly.
"What do you want then?" he asked inhaling deeply noticing that the sky was beginning to lighten as dawn approached.
"Well I figure I have to make you pay somehow and killing you would be too easy." The cigarette slipped from Light's fingers.
"But you said-" Ryuk laughed deeply and pulled out his own death note.
"It's not his name that I'm writing down." He said grinning. Light began to shake and reached out desperately trying to get the note book but his hand went right through the shinigami.
"Who? Who DAMN IT?" he shouted tears beginning to form as Ryuk continued to laugh until at last he turned the book towards him showing him the names written.
Light fell to his knees clutching his head as he let out a broken sob. "No… nonononononononononononono! Take it back! Erase it! No! NOOOOOOOO!" Distantly he heard a bang as the door to the helipad slammed open.
"Light-kun!" L was calling him…but he didn't move. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he stared up at the shinigami who just laughed.
"Good bye Light-kun it was fun knowing you." The shinigami said before rising into the air. Light followed him with his eyes before slowly standing and running after him.
"DAMN YOU! ERASE IT DAMN IT! ERASE THEIR NAMES! TAKE ME!" but it was futile…Ryuk was gone. He started to step forward and L grabbed his wrist pulling him back from the edge. "Let me die." He whispered his entire body shaking. L frowned deeply.
"Light-kun…was that a shinigami?" he asked holding Light in a death grip. Light nodded sobbing wretchedly as he tried to pry L's arms loose. "What did he want?" he asked his eyes wide as he watched Light struggle madly.
"To punish me…" Light whispered brokenly. "Father…mother…Sayu…" He whispered his eyes becoming empty and shadowed. L stayed silent just holding on to him as he sobbed trying in vain to pull L's arms away from him as the sun rose silently. Eventually he stopped to weak to continue to tired to fight L as the older man lifted him and carried him inside ignoring the others concern as he took Light to his room and laid him down on the bed. Light stayed still his gaze empty as he stared up at the ceiling not even noticing the needle in L's hand until it pricked his skin and he was forced into a sedated sleep. L watched the young man sprawled across his bed breath his expression tortured and his sleep uneasy before finding his handcuffs and chaining Light to the bed so that the boy didn't try to escape. A knock on the door revealed Watari who looked at him gravely.
"The Yagami family." He said softly L nodded his head and placed a hand on Light's forehead.
"The shinigami returned." Watari nodded.
"I know sir, I was watching through the camera's we have the entire thing recorded." L nodded and sifted through the drawers finding anything that could be used to kill and moving it far away from Light.
"Can you watch him, I'm afraid that his guilt might cause him to do something foolish." Watari nodded his head.
"That was on the cameras too." He said. L nodded his head and sighed.
"The Kira case is closed Watari, I'll announce that Soichiro Yagami was the one to capture Kira and died in the line of fire along with his family." Watari nodded his head.
"And Light?" he asked softly.
"I'll make it so that he was spending the night at a friend's house or something." He said absently. Watari rose an eyebrow.
"I mean L, what of Light-kun? He has sacrificed too much for this case to simply be left with our condolences." The older man chided. L tilted his head to the side.
"What should I do? I can't bring his family back Watari." The older man frowned. "I mean of course he will be monetarily compensated but money does not replace family."
"I think that you know very well what you should do." He said sagely causing L to frown and look at Light.
"I've never had a friend before Watari." He said softly. "and after this how can he stand to look at me?" Watari sighed.
"I'm afraid that despite his popularity you are the only friend he has as well." L's eyes widened before becoming distant.
"I need to close this case." He said finally his voice monotone. "Call me when he wakes up." He said before slipping out of the room leaving Watari to sigh after him.
Light cracked his eyes open slowly his body feeling heavy and numb the drugs still not completely flushed from his system. He lay still for a moment trying to come to grips with the fact that his family was gone, his father who was an honest hard working man would never look at him with pride again. His mother, warm and friendly would never turn her gentle gaze on him again, and Sayu the little sister he was meant to protect would never come running to him again. They were probably all up in heaven looking down at him in horror now aware of the things he had done. Aware that he was Kira. Tears slipped down his cheeks in a steady stream and it was only when he lifted his hand in attempt to wipe them away that he realized that he was chained to the bed. He looked at the metal in fascination for a moment before suddenly panic welled up inside of him and he was thrashing wildly tugging on the chains as he panted in terror ignoring the pain as the metal dug into his skin breaking it in places. "Light-kun!" Watari called out causing him to freeze slowly turning towards the man with wide eyes.
"Let me go" He whispered weakly. "I'm a murderer!" he shrieked his body shaking. "They're all dead because of me!" The older man shook his head and sat down letting Light struggle until he was worn out and the exhaustion along with the drugs that were still left in his system knocked him out. Watari sighed heavily and pulled out his phone calling L.
"Is he awake?" He asked answering after the first ring. Watari sighed.
"He was only a moment ago but he was too distraught to stay awake for long, he believes that he is to blame for everything." L sighed as well.
"I've already sent my report on the Kira case and the press has also been informed I have a few more details to work out before I can stay with him." Watari snorted slightly.
"L you know very well that you could do all of that sitting next to your friend just as well as you could down there." L cringed and muttered slightly.
"Fine." He said before hanging up. Watari nodded satisfied and slipped the phone into his pocket. For the next few hours L and Watari sat beside Light's bed watching over him and struggling to calm him when he went into hysterics upon waking up. It wasn't until the next day that Light woke up eyes blank and body relaxed. His gaze moved from Watari to L before he spoke his voice thick and hoarse.
"They're dead aren't they?" He asked softly too tired to move very much or react to the truth. Ryuzaki nodded his head slowly and began to explain that to the world his family had died a hero. Light stayed quiet until the end and then nodded slowly a single tear slipping from his eye.
"What now?" He asked softly. "To die would be in vain at this point but I have nothing left here." Watari frowned.
"You have money." L said gripping the back of his chair his eyes wide. Watari sighed at L's coarse nature.
"What are you talking about?" Light asked nonplused.
"Do you remember Light-kun back when the police refused to aid us any longer?" Light nodded tiredly and Watari stood up pulling out a piece of paper from a manila folder and handing it to him. Light frowned as he tried to read it things not really clicking in his mind at first.
"Every family member was insured." L said quietly as he watched Light's eyes widen.
"That's….a lot of zero's…" he said softly. L nodded and Watari handed him another piece of paper.
"This one is the insurance money earned from the Japanese police force, as well as the retirement fund your father had been working on for the last few years." Watari said watching Light as he began to tremble.
"I had no idea…he never said anything about this to us…" Watari nodded.
"I talked to the chief of police, he told me that your father had not wanted to worry you by putting so much money into the insurance but knowing how dangerous his job was he wanted you to be taken care of should something happen to him. Light-kun he wanted you to move on." Watari urged before handing Light another sheet this one containing the will. Tears slid down Light's cheeks as he read the will and eventually the paper fell to his lap and he buried his face in his hands.
"I don't deserve this." He said softly. "It's my fault they're dead." Watari sighed and gathered up the papers, he hadn't even shown Light the investments his father had made and the various shares he now owned some of them in extremely well known establishments.
"Light-kun should finish school." L said his expression one of worry and confusion as he jumped out of his chair looking awkward as he tried to figure out what to say and do. Light nodded his head.
"And then what?" He said wiping his eyes roughly wincing at the dried blood on his wrists. L frowned and reached forward capturing Light's arm.
"Watari bring me some medical supplies." He said pulling the keys from his pocket. The older man nodded and placed the portfolio on the side table before leaving the room. Light avoided L's gaze as his wrists were freed and let his arms fall into his lap…he was still wearing his father's clothes he realized numbly.
"Ryuzaki…"He said softly. Grey eyes looked at him widely. "Can I have my cigarettes?" he asked looking at the older man tiredly. L shook his head.
"Light-kun will start to smell like an ash-tray, I refuse to work with someone who smells like an ash-tray." Light snorted.
"L the case is closed." L nodded and sat next to him on the bed curling his legs to his chest.
"Yes but both Light-kun and I are alone and Light-kun is the only person I could stand to work with." Light blinked slowly as L's words registered in his mind.
"L….are you offering me a job?" he asked noting the way Ryuzaki was nervously biting on his thumb.
"Yes, though Light-kun really should finish school first." Light nodded his head slowly and reached out grabbing Ryuzaki's hand and threading their fingers. Wide charcoal grey eyes stared at their fingers and Light smiled thinly.
"You're not allowed to fire me." Light said softly his body relaxing slightly. L frowned but nodded.
"You're not allowed to leave me." He countered causing Light's eyes to widen zeroing in on the light pink spread across Ryuzaki's cheeks. He smiled slowly and moved to lean against L.
"Alright L." he said softly. "I won't leave you." He said before drifting into a deep sleep.