A/N: What is unleashed must at last be contained.
DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler
"So, do you know why you're here?" Rebecca asked, clicking her pen.
Elliot breathed a heavy sigh. "You mean it's not the same reason I've been coming to you for the last six months?"
Rebecca chuckled. "You're here for a different reason, you know it." She turned to the side and grabbed a large tote bag, lifted it off of the floor, and handed it to Elliot. "These are yours, by the way."
"Oh, so you're done with my personal thoughts about Liv, now?" he scoffed, taking the bag of notebooks, sticky-notes, and napkins. "This wasn't invasive or anything."
Rebecca rolled her eyes. "You're here because you yelled at your boss and stormed out of your unit, and now I have to clear you for active duty. Sergeant Tucker thinks you're a time bomb. And he doesn't want you to explode at work. Again."
"Well, maybe people should watch what they say about me and my family," he snapped. "Then I wouldn't react like that."
Rebecca leaned forward. "You just called Olivia your family." She folded her hands and smiled. "Family is permanent, Elliot, you know that, don't you?"
"Liv's permanent," he said with a nod. "I get that now, I know she's not going anywhere, she's mine." He kicked the bag of thoughts at his feet. "All of these things I've thought about her, written about her…" he shook his head and grabbed a notebook off of the top, flipped it to a random page, and read out loud. "Thinking about her again. Not again. Still. Right now, she's chewing on the end of her pen. I'm thinking I want her lips wrapped around me like they are that pen."
"Poetic," Rebecca teased.
He chuckled and continued. "I'm also thinking that if she ever leaves, ever quits, moves away from this city, away from me, I will never look at a pen without bursting into tears." He dropped the notebook back into the bag and said, "I really wrote that. I really meant that. I looked at her this morning, she had that same pen in her mouth, and I thought…I still thought that I would rather have her lips wrapped around my dick than that pen, but I didn't think…her leaving never crossed my mind."
"Progress," Rebecca said, offering a smile. "So I've got to ask you, and you've got to be straight with me. Do you consider yourself…"
"Cured?" he interrupted.
Rebecca sat back and nodded, then picked up her pen and began clicking it.
"I'll never be cured, Becky." He shook his head and said, "I will always, until the day I die, be addicted to everything about Olivia Benson. Her body, her heart, her eyes, the way she smells, the way she walks…but I also know that now…it's just part me I have to deal with. It's not consuming me the way it was when I was afraid of losing her."
Rebecca tilted her head. "How do you feel about that?"
"Relieved," he said with a smile. "I won't hurt her anymore, we can get things done, and in a few months she'll be my wife, we'll have a kid, everything will be…"
"The way you always wanted it to be," Rebecca interrupted. "The way it should have been."
Elliot narrowed his eyes. "You really read everything I wrote in those notebooks," he said softly.
"I did my job," Rebecca returned. "And the true reasons behind your fear and addiction…your secrets…they're safe with me."
"I've heard that before," Elliot said, rolling his eyes. "Look, I gotta be in court in fifteen minutes, can you just sign the thing so…"
"Signed," Rebecca interjected. "I already sent it down to Tucker. Go, Elliot." She smiled and said, "And good luck, with everything. If you ever feel the need to talk about anything, you know, I'm here for you. And Olivia."
He nodded as he rose off of the couch. "I know you are," he said. "And I know why." He caught her surprised expression. "I'm not a therapist, but I'm not blind or stupid either. Don't worry, though. Your secret's safe with me."
"I'm not…I'm not going to try anything," Rebecca said, standing now.
Elliot grabbed the bag of notes and smiled at her, he knew what that smile did to her, and he loved knowing it. "I know. I wouldn't be responsive, and Olivia would kick your ass."
Rebecca chuckled. "I know that. Goodbye, Elliot."
"Bye, Becky," he said, turning the knob and leaving the office.
As he walked away, Rebecca sighed. She had finally ensured that life for two people she cared about, perhaps a little too much, was perfect.
Olivia looked up, hearing his footsteps. She covered the receiver of the phone and moved her head a bit. "Hey," she said to him with a smile. "How was court?"
"Bastard's doing twenty-five to fifty," he said proudly, standing a little too close to her.
She gave him a thumb's up as she went back to her phone call, just long enough to say goodbye and hang up. "So it went well? Your testimony was…"
"Who was that?" he asked, pointing to the phone.
She raised an eyebrow. "Morales," she said. "He's got the pictures off of Stevenson's hard drive, he wants us to go up, why?"
"Can it wait?" he asked, holding out his hand.
She furrowed her brow and slipped her hand into his. "Where are you taking me?"
He laughed and pulled her out of her chair. "Just come with me." He led her through the hall and toward the stairs, taking her up to the roof.
"El, we've got work to do!" she hissed behind him.
He laughed again. "Remind me, when in the last few months have I cared?" He pushed the door open and pulled her out onto the black, tar-topped roof. He tugged on her hand as he walked toward the edge. "You can see a good chunk of the city from up here."
"Yeah." She pulled her hand out of his and asked, "Did you really put our case on hold to do some sight-seeing?"
He shook his head as he turned to look at her. "I brought you up here to spend some time alone with you. I just…I needed to see you, away from work, away from Cragen."
She tilted her head when she saw the look in his eyes. "El, we…right before we left the house, I thought…"
"Not because I physically need you," he said, assuring her. "I do, I'm not gonna lie, but…this isn't about that." He kissed her forehead. "Five minutes is all I need. Just…five minutes away from everyone down there who thinks I'm an asshole, everyone who thinks we're making a mistake." He kissed her forehead and said, "Five minutes alone with you."
She kissed his cheek, and then his neck, and then she felt him pulling her closer to him. "Five minutes?"
"Maybe ten," he said, a hidden laugh in his voice. "Fifteen." He kissed her neck as his hands slipped under her soft button-down shirt. "Twenty, tops."
She laughed and let him press her into the high brick-faced ledge behind her. "Oh, yeah, you can control yourself. Sure."
He mumbled as he nodded into her neck, working the clasp on her pants open. "I can," he argued. "I just don't want to. There's a difference."
She moaned when she felt that his hand found its destination, in between her panties and her slick flesh. "You don't?"
"And you don't want me to," he told her matter-of-factly as he stroked her to even thicker wetness. "Did Becky talk to you at all?"
She shook her head as her lip was bitten between her teeth. She moaned softly as he pushed a finger into her.
He worked his pants open with his other hand and said, "Good. I think you should here this from me."
"Uh-oh," she whispered, allowing him to lift her up onto the ledge. "Do I wanna hear this?"
He kissed her neck again, moving his hand away from her core. Nipping at her chest through her shirt as he maneuvered between her legs, he said, "Yeah, I think so." He peppered her skin with kisses and aimed himself at her entrance. "The reason I was so scared to lose you, so nervous and desperate to hold onto you…"
She dropped her head back as he pushed into her, moaning softly. "Oh, God," she murmured. "What about it?"
He tugged lightly on her chin, bringing her eyes back to his. "It's because this life, my life with you, is what I've always wanted. Falling in love the right way, asking you to marry me in a way that meant something, easing into this with every ounce of my heart."
She looked confused. "El, what are you…"
"Things were forced and rushed the first time," he interrupted. "I fell in love with Kathy after we were already married, and I fell out of love with her just as fast. With you…God, Liv, it all just felt so right…I had to…"
She kissed him, stopping him from speaking. She rolled her hips, sucking him into her deeply, and moaned into his mouth. She wrapped her hands around his head, scratching at his scalp.
He lost the last of his resolve and began thrusting slowly, taking time with each stroke. He looked down, into her eyes, and he stayed silent except for a few soft grunts.
Her neck bent back, her head rolled to the side, her back arched. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades as she held onto him and she gave a low moan of his name.
Conversation, it seemed, was done. He picked up his pace, he moaned louder, and his hands gripped her body tighter. The old, familiar urges came back, creeping up his legs and hitting every nerve. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep them at bay, but he couldn't. "Fuck," he growled, hitting into her harder.
"Shit," she panted, wrapping her legs around him. She moaned a bit louder then, her noises keeping time with his hard thrusts.
"Fuck," he hissed again, biting her neck a bit harder. "Oh, God damn," he moaned.
"El," she whispered into his ear, turning her head a bit. She looked into his eyes and smiled wickedly. "Harder."
He didn't ask questions, he didn't pause. He simply growled again and worked his hips harder and faster, hitting into her with smacking sounds as their bones and flesh met. He heard her whimpers, and he felt her clenching, and he smirked at her. "You never had a problem with this, huh?"
She chuckled and moaned, spitting out a soft curse as she shook her head. "It was never a problem," she told him, for the last time reaffirming that she was never upset or hurt by his issues.
He bent his head to kiss her as he felt her clamp around him, and his hands instinctively moved to her waist, one palm splaying over her stomach as the other rested on her back. "Come on, baby," he whispered. "Gimme one more, Liv."
She gasped softly as he kept moving, in and out of her, hard and deep. She rolled her eyes back and almost screamed as he slammed into her faster, trying to draw out a second orgasm on the heels of the first. He was doing a damn good job of it, too, as she felt the heat and burn rising again.
"Come on, baby," he cooed, coaxing it out of her physically and verbally. He felt her clenching again, tighter than the first time, and he smiled. "Yeah, baby. Fick, Liv," he grunted, thrusting still.
She gave him what he wanted, what he needed, and she let go. "God, Elliot," she whimpered as she shook in his arms. She held onto him as she lost feeling in her legs and lost her balance.
"I got you," he said, giving one final thrust and cumming, shooting into her with a moan. "Oh, God, baby, I got you."
She nodded, struggling to breathe. "Yeah," she said softly. "You do."
He kissed her and held her close, staying inside of her for a moment. "I do," he said. "For life."
She pulled back a bit and looked into his eyes, understanding now that whatever that first kiss had ignited in him, it had done the same to her. She was getting married, having a child, things that up until now were dreams that would never come true. She saw her life in his eyes and she smiled. "For life."
He tugged her gently and dropped her softly to her unsteady feet. He kissed her and whispered, "I think I created a monster."
She laughed and watched as he redressed her quickly. "I think I may have tamed one," she teased, giving his tie a playful yank.
He looked up at her and nodded once. She had tamed him, but at the same time, she had made him more wild, and more alive than he had ever been. His deepest desires had been unleashed, and realized, and he owed it all to her. "I love you," he said, almost too softly for her to hear.
She took his hand and guided him toward the door which would lead them back to work, back to their grim reality. Just as his hand touched the knob, though, she whispered, "I love you, too."
He smiled at her, gave her hand a squeeze, and took the first step toward the rest of his life, with the only woman who had ever understood him, accepted, and loved him.
His addiction, his obsession.
A/N: That was a wild ride, yeah? Thanks for sticking with it, with me. A new fic will be posted soon. Stay tuned.