This story is now beta'd! Thank you to the lovely Bookoholic for being my beta!
"As I realize that I no longer need you, my muse starts dying. The anger and turmoil that you cast me into sparked my thoughtless work. Thinking of you was all I needed and the words just came.
I still don't know how it happened and I probably never will. You killed a muse when you first attempted my life' then you wished to shatter me till I turned to dust. You stole my heart and left me hollow; the heart you stole no longer beats. I love how you turned me into a living ghost; one incapable of feeling anything but pain.
I am responsible for the paths I have chosen that led me to you. You have led me down many paths that I wish I'd have never followed. You led me to my own destruction and I followed willingly.
You held such power over me that I could have died, but you went with torture. You no longer hold my heart now; you cast it aside after shattering my fragile mind.
The binds that you tied to my heart are withering away and now I can finally see freedom again. We can move forward, but only after you destroyed my being to cease your guilt. It's finally over, now only eternity awaits."
It's another night at the poetry jam. I realized after last time that I had to let go of the pain he caused me. I'm trying so hard to, but that pain sparked the best writing I have ever done. I know it's time to move on and get over all of the drama. The first step for me was inviting all of my friends, old and new.
The only ones absent were Sasuke and Naruto. It's going to take a little while longer for me to be able to be okay with that. Kiba congratulates me as I walk back to our tables. He hasn't changed at all.
"Shino thinks you were great too, but he's just too anti-social to say it!" He starts laughing until Shino crosses his arms.
"Aww don't be like that! You know I love you." He leaned over and kissed the aspiring anthropologist.
Alright, so something's did change with him. He started dating Shino a couple months after my break-up with Sasuke. I glance at Hinata; she's smiling at them, but there's sadness and regret laced with it. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, I admire her.
She spent so long being blindly in love with Naruto, even though he was in love with Sasuke and she knew it, that she didn't see how much Kiba loved her. When Naruto and Sasuke got together, 2 hearts were broken, but she did what I couldn't and put her pain aside to be happy for them. According to Ino, when she finally realized that Kiba had been there for her all along, he had finally moved on. Shino had, had enough of hearing him cry over her and kissed him. Kiba freaked out and they didn't talk for a few weeks.
I remember the night that they officially got together. It was around the time when Ayu, Airi, Marinabelle, and Sakaya dragged me back to the poetry jams. They wanted me to get back out into the world again. I remember seeing Kiba on stage and the rest of them in the front four tables. I wanted to leave so much, but Airi made me sit down with them in the back. I can't remember what he said but the next thing anyone knew, Shino was on stage and kissing him senseless. The hostess had to rush on stage and usher them off when dog boy's jacket came off.
As they continued to kiss I had to say something. It was starting to get raunchy and the other tables were beginning to notice.
"Hey! Get a room you two!" They broke apart. Kiba turned red when he saw how many people were staring at them.
Our tables erupted into laughter. Shino got up and grabbed Kiba's hand, lifting him up.
"Where are you two going my youthful friends on this glorious night?" There's Lee for you.
"Did I embarrass you? I'm sorry if I did! Please don't go." I really hope I didn't mess this night for everyone.
Shino looked at us all and then back at me.
"I'm taking your advice; we're going to get a room. I will see you all tomorrow, but Kiba might be too sore to make it." Kiba blushed even harder than before if that's even possible, but it managed to get even darker when we all broke out into laughter again.
It feels so good to laugh like this again. I spent so long not feeling anything at all; I thought that I'd be an emotionless ghost for the rest of my life. I know that I made so many mistakes in blindly following after someone who could never love me, but Sasuke strung me along like I stood a chance and pushed me into a tailspin that ended in a near fatal crash. I let him break me down and I stupidly, willingly let him crush my heart.
In all this laughter I see Hinata. She smiling but it's not quite lighting up her face. I know that she's truly happy for both of her lost loves, but I know that it still hurts her. She never could have had Naruto, because he's always been Sasuke's, but she could have had Kiba if she just opened her eyes. She lost the two guys that she's ever loved; she's young though, so she will find someone else. She's a much stronger person then I am because she can stay friends with the men who broke her heart, but I can't do that.
I'm okay that Sasuke and Naruto are dating and I am truly happy that they found the one person they were meant to be with, but I am not okay with being around them, seeing the happiness that could have, would have been mine if things were different, at least not yet.
I love Sasuke and I know that I will always love him in some way or another, but I can't be in love with him anymore. I don't want to make the same mistake that Hinata did; I don't want to miss my chance at a great guy who loves me just because I can't stop following a guy that could never return my feelings. I know that Lee likes me, everyone does. He may be a little…a lot weird, but he is very nice and he's such a caring guy; I think it's time to really put some effort into moving on and give Lee a chance.
"Alright, thank you everyone for showing up tonight! It was fun and we had some great writers here tonight, but it's closing time. You don't have to go your dorms but you can't stay here."
As we're getting up to leave, I take my chance.
"Hey Lee? Want to go get some coffee tomorrow morning?"
Cliffhanger! No, not really. Lee says yes of course! It just felt right ending it like that.
Well here it is! The second installment in the Monologue series! If you are a little confused with this one, then read the first one, "Through Our Eyes".