This is the story of Gash. Enjoy.

There once was a beautiful young pokémon trainer called Gash. She had a pikachu. She was called Gash because when she was seven her father, who used to beat her, cut her cheek open with a beer bottle and she got a wicked cool scar.

She decided she wanted to be the world's best pokémon trainer and this involved leaving her sick abusive uncle who raped her every night before she went to sleep.

She soon went on her journey and accidentally destroyed the pet bicycle of a retard boy named Twistie, named so because he was always eating the delicious cheese snack Twisties, without which, as has often been postulated by the popular scientific community and the theory's greatest advocate Professor Folk (named so because he calls people folk (he's a cowboy)), life would be pretty straight. That is to say, life's pretty straight without Twisties. (AN: I f***in' love Twisties!)

So Twistie who was in love with her because she was beautiful started following her around everywhere.

She had lots of hidden demons about her past and her evil stepfather who used to force her to work like a slave and also she had waist length blue hair that she wore in a ponytail and her eyes changed colour not according to her mood because that would be dumb but according to the temperature (like ice blue eyes in cold :D).

She used to not be that great a trainer but she's hella expert now and very beautiful.

Gash's eyes flashed red in irritation. "Twistie, hurry up," she said, playing with her hair.

Twistie said sorry and they continued walking. They were going to Saffron City so Gash could win the Marsh Badge, the last because she'd gotten all the others first cause they wouldn't let her in to Saffron even though the guard fell in love with her because she was so beautiful and he was all depressed and became an emo band but enough about him our hero and her best friend Twistie are entering Saffron City.

"Pikachu!" said Pikachu.

"That's exactly what I was thinking," said Gash, since because she was so beautiful in the soul and receptive to the emotions of others she could understand pokémon and also her mother was a dragonair moon spirit but she died leaving her in the care of her older brother who starved her didn't buy her clothes but she looked radiant and beautiful even in rags though now she had new good clothes.

"Let's go to Silph Co.," said Gash.

"I love you," said Twistie.

"Sorry, what was that?" asked Gash, looking at him sideways while playing with a strand of hair. Twistie blushed deep crimson and mumbled something.

Oh, if only he'd admit to loving me, thought Gash, turning a small pirouette as she walked, eyes closed, But I just don't know if he feels the same way and despite my superhuman and entirely justified self-confidence I'm too shy to ask him.

"I got you these roses," said Twistie, pulling a bouquet of roses out and offering them to Gash, the beautiful and smart girl whom he loved with all his heart, "For their symbolism of love, not in the faintly ridiculous idea that they could compare to your beauty."

"That's nice," said Gash. What a good friend he was. She took them and sniffed them.

"Pikachu!" said Pikachu, who sat on Gash's shoulder.

"I know, I sense him too," said Gash darkly, her eyes a crackling grey and her hair kind of spiking up a bit.

"Who do you sense?" said Twistie.

"I sense... him," said Gash, subtly moving her face dramatically.

"Gasp, no!" said Twistie.

"Indeed, he is rather... behind you!" exclaimed Gash, turning.

It was Giovanni, her father-in-law who not only beat and raped her, but who refused to allow her to get pokémon.

"It is I," said Giovanni, sounding kind of like James Earl Jones. "Honey, come home. I only want the company of all the family I have in the world."

"Bullshit," said Gash scornfully, "You just want to abuse and rape me."

Giovanni paused thoughtfully. "The two are hardly mutually exclusive," he concluded.

"That's true," acquiesced Gash.

"I won't let you!" said Twistie, and he stood in front of Gash as everyone gasped. Though Gash was an inch taller than he was, in this scene she kind of shrank into herself a bit and he looked taller and more imposing than usual. Giovanni pulled out a knife and stabbed him and ran away.

"No!" screamed Gash, "No! No!"

Twistie coughed. "I love you, Gash," he spluttered.

"I love you too!" cried Gash, crying tears of sorrow. "I must avenge thee," she growled.

Twistie hacked up a gob of blood; his lungs were steadily filling with the stuff. "Remember me," he said, "As I lived, not as I died."


"... eah..." And with that, Twistie died.

Gash sobbed in silence for a whole minute before she raised her eyes, which were red in rage. She turned around and stomped up Silph Co., ordering Thunderbolts on all the Rockets and Scientists and Chiefs that blocked her way.

Eventually she reached the roof where Giovanni waited for her. A wicked cool wind blew, making her sweet ass-ponytail blow dramatically in the dramatic wind.

"Giovanni!" she shouted. "I have pursued thee- I would not stop for Death himself ere I claimed my density. I mean destiny."

"Ah, but you are yet a fledgling," declared Giovanni.

Gash smiled. "I am more than you think, Grandfather."

Giovanni froze. "You call me by that name?"

"Yes," said Gash, "I know you coupled with both your mother and the daughter thereof: my own mother! And thanks to a long series of divorces and stuff, you are my father, grandfather, brother, uncle, stepfather and father-in-law all in one!"

Giovanni hissed. "Yet how shalt thou prove thyself... in battle?" He tossed out his six earth type pokémon. They were all tough and fearsome. Gash threw out hers, which were good but not at his level.

Gash drew in her strength and the force of her love for the dead Twistie. Her pokémon grew bigger and tougher and defeated Giovanni's (AN: It's canon, read Pocket Monsters Special with Yellow in the FRLG arc! :D).

Giovanni stared at his defeated pokémon. Then he swelled with anger. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!" he screamed as a thunderclap blasted Silph Co. building. "I named you that after that lolworthy time when I cut you open with that whiskey bottle-"


"Whatever. But I never thought that you... would become as a Gash unto ME!"

"That's why they call it irony... Sister." The hissed work reverberated around the torrential downpour.

"You know-"

"I know everything."

Giovanni screeched and picked up his knife and ran-

Gash's eyes pierced those of Giovanni. A spectral Dragonair appeared next to her. Mew swooped down from the heavens.

Giovanni screamed as every atom of his existence erased itself from existence.

"You could remove him from the time stream as well," said Celebi to Gash, whose eyes were burning gold.

"No..." whispered she, "For as much as I loathe him... he is a part of me. Me... ... GASH."

An ethereal choir sang out as Gash achieved her dream and ascended into Godhood.