Well, it's been a while since I published something. I could make several excuses such as lack of time, family commitments, funerals, weddings, two surgeries and having to deal with a registration renewal at work. Oh well, shit happens. These are a pair of Omakes, note that means that they are jokes that don't fit into the story but I still wanted to write them. The first is a supposed future many years after bride wars. The second is what happens when you work sixteen hours then here The Scotsman song after reading Hagrid's Wiki page. I hope you enjoy the real chapter will be out eventurally.
Harry Potter and the Bride Wars proudly presents Omake Theater Two.
"I still don't see what the big deal is Gabrielle, I met your father last week and he loved me," the tall brown haired man said as he covertly watched the blonde's butt as she walked nervously to the study of the massive house.
"Philippe, I love you but you have to understand that Harry's approval means just as much to me as Papa's but it'll be much harder to get. Harry is a little... protective of me."
The young man scoffed, "I still don't believe half of the things that are said about him. He's done a great deal for the world but he's still just a man."
"I have been in his employ since I was ten, the term "just" doesn't apply when you actually see him face to face."
"Gabrielle, quit worrying. I got through the meeting with your father to ask for your hand just fine. I'm sure that this one won't be any different."
Gabrielle stopped in front of the massive doors, she kissed Philippe on the cheek and left with nervous glance back.
Philippe straightened his jacket and knocked. "Enter," came a cute voice from the other side of the door.
As the door swung open it took Philippe a minute to take in the majesty of the room. It was ornately but tastefully decorated. Philippe took quick note of the mixture of tech and magic that filled the room. A young man sat behind a rather large desk littered with papers and books. He had a small blonde girl in his lap that looked to be around six years old. The little girl was dressed in a white nightgown and holding a book of some sort in her hands.
"Have a seat," Harry said pointing to a waiting chair on the other side of his desk.
Philippe took his seat quickly and extended his hand, "Philippe Beauchamp, sir. Gabrielle talks about you all the time, It is an honor to meet you."
"I know who you are Mr. Beauchamp," Harry said in a bored voice. "Get to the point for my time is short today, I was just about to read my little Diana a bedtime story."
Philippe stared at his hand for a second before pulling it back quickly. "She is a beautiful little girl, sir."
The little girl looked up at Harry with her bright green eyes, "Mummy Two was right, c'est un charmeur."
Philippe was finding it hard not to wilt under Harry's glare. "I'm here today to get your approval to marry Gabrielle, sir."
"Really Mr. Beauchamp, what gave you the impression that you are good to marry my Gabrielle."
"Papa," Diana said cutely.
"Yes Moonbeam, what is it? Papa's trying to have a conversation here."
"I know Papa, but Mummy Five says that you're not allowed to kill anybody else. Great Auntie is having a hard time explaining the bodies," the little girl relayed. "Mummy Three says that if you make anymore paperwork for her she's gonna casti... custr... kak... neuter you like GrandPapa Remus," Diana concentrated as she tried and failed to say the big word. "Reading is Fundamental," she added just to use Mummy Three's favorite saying.
"Hmm," Harry said as he gave Philippe a look that screamed he was calculating exactly how much the trouble he would be in and if it was worth it.
Before Philippe could continue the little girl added, "Mummy Six did say that grievous bodily harm was ok, but no permanent injuries."
"Ah," said Harry as he once again turned his attention to the man on the other side of the desk.
Philippe swallowed nervously at the wicked grin that adorned Harry's face. "I love her. I can't imagine life without her."
"Mr. Beauchamp, I know all about you. I know you barely finished school, that your parents were a drunk and a womanizer. What makes you think that you are even remotely good enough for her. If the best you can do is "I love her" then I will make it simpler for you. Here is five thousand galleons, take it and kindly forget about My Gabrielle and leave my house."
Philippe stared at the single most powerful man in the world. His mind refused to acknowledge the words that came at him like a freight train. "Are you gone yet? I have to read to my daughter."
"Good, Dobby will show you the way out."
"You are right, I'm not good enough for her. I'm not from the best of families, I wasn't born with a silver wand in my hand. I'm not the smartest either, I've had to struggle to learn anything but I know this. I love her and if that means that she wants a useless idiot like me then so be it. I will be there for her in the thick and the thin times. I will comfort her when she's sad, make her laugh when she cries, and I will reign her in when she tries something stupid. I love her so much the very thought of life without her is inconceivable. I love her and you and your money can frankly go to heck, sir. I will be by her side for as long as she will have me and I will be there for her even past then. I will marry her if she'll have me no matter what anyone says, because I love her."
"Thank you for not cursing in front of my daughter, she picks up enough words from her uncles as it is. I was hoping you would have the stones to say that to my face."
Philippe stood there in shocked astonishment, "I don't understand sir."
"It's simple future Unca Clangy," Diane said, "Papa wants what's best for Auntie Gabby. If you would have just left then you wouldn't have been worth Auntie Gabby. Now I have a meeting to attend, goodnight Papa, goodnight future Unca Clangy."
As the little blonde hopped down after kissing her papa on the cheek, Philippe asked something that had been bothering him. "Why are you going to bed now, it's only three in the afternoon?"
The blonde in the white nightgown stomped her foot cutely, "I will not have my sleep schedule dictated by some flaming ball of gas."
Harry was forced to stifle a chuckle, "She's having a sleepover and doesn't want to wait for night time to have fun."
Diana beamed, "Auntie Hedwig is so cool to let me sleep in her room, but Papa could you please remember to put a silencing charm up tonight. I hate the way Mummy screams yes all night, it sounds like it hurts."
"Sure thing, just give Hedwig my love when you see her," Harry blushed as the blonde skipped out of the room to find the owl.
Clearing his throat Harry grinned a little at Philippe, "Hedwig's room is right next to mine and I forgot one time to put a silencing charm up. Remember son, some things you can never live down."
An adaptation of the Scotsman song look it up on Youtube or something, it's awesome. Everytime my local morning radio station plays this on Friday mornings I automatically substitute Hagrid for the Scotsman.
Events following Hogsmeade's first annual Scottish Heritage Festival
Well a Giant clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Giant so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Giant quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Giant's kilt did lift and show
Now the Giant woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
The next morning:
Hagrid plopped down next to Filius and his massive head crashed down onto the table. The littlest professor wiped up the tea that had spilt out of his cup, "Rough night?"
"I'm bloody well giving up drinking," the downed giant said.
"What brought this on, I know I've seen you drink way more than last night."
"Well, apparently me pecker went out last night and won a contest but the little bastard won't tell me how he done it."
Filius opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He repeated this about five times before he finally said, "Are you sure you're not a Lovegood?"