Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within.
A/N: I used some online resources to keep the game of Scrabble itself intact - I even used a little calculator to determine that Jeff would win. That was probably the most annoying part. Oh well.
"Hi! I'm Lilo!" She adorable little Hawaiian girl extended an adorable little Hawaiian hand over the card table, which Jeff took, figuring he would humor her. "I was told by that really nice guy over there that you have a weakness for crying girls…"
Jeff turned his glued-on smirk to Troy. "I'm glad you think telling the enemy about our weaknesses is a good idea."
"Well, wait- I'm, I just- I mean, it's- look how cute she is!" Troy gestured to her wildly. She smiled at him, then back to Jeff. "And look at that creepy blue thing. It's cute too. Creepy but cute."
Jeff turned to his attention to a noise-making blue dog. "I have no idea what that is. I don't think it's a retriever, huh?"
"No… Stitch is a special dog."
"I'm glad that's all you seem to fancy telling me because I don't really care about people's dogs for me than one sentence."
"Say goodbye to your friends, Jeff," Charles Ofdensen was there to act as a sort of moderator. Jeff was growing very unnerved at not seeing many others in charge. "This isn't Who Wants to be a Millionaire."
"I don't need their help. I'm playing Scrabble one-on-one with a little girl."
As Lilo's small team surrounded her to offer a bit of advice, Jeff's circle did the same. He gestured to them to back off a bit.
Abed said, "Jeff, you should probably be careful. That girl may pull a Linus or a Calvin and actually have some hidden skill, such as a highly advanced vocabulary."
"I'm a lawyer. I've got a decent vocabulary too."
"Now, Jeff, don't let her pull any little girl tricks… they try to seem cutesy, but I think as you and I were both taught in early childhood, there are few more deeply evil things than a small woman scorned." Pierce obviously thought this was very helpful advice.
"While I'm happy that you apparently remember early childhood, mine was very different from yours."
"Since nothing that happens to us is ever easy, I'm going to assume that beating this girl in a board game is not as easy as you think it's gonna be," Britta crossed her arms over her Target cardigan. "But just in case it is, don't whip this girl too hard, okay?"
"Jeff, I want to remind you that while Britta has a valid point of view, I support any decision you make regarding this game," Annie seemed to be trying a little too hard to encourage Jeff.
He would pee blood before letting her know that it actually made his heart swell a bit. "I haven't seen you around much at this game."
"She'll be part of the storyline eventually," Abed was the next to make his way over to Jeff. "Jeff, my only piece of advice would be to remain cautious. This set-up is too easy for it to not go wrong."
"Thank you, Indian Jesus of television."
Abed backed off, and Troy leaned in toward Jeff, looking very grim with his arms crossed and his brow furrowed. "Everyone keeps walking up to tell you something. I just wanted to tell you that your button-down shirt looks good with your jeans today."
"That is actually the best anyone has made me feel so far, Troy. Thank you."
A little buzzer sounded shortly after the last of both teams were escorted out behind a set of tinted windows. Both contestants were given their letters.
Jeff's letters were 'J, Y, U, X, L, O, E'.
Just when Jeff realized that they didn't pick who could go first, his chipper companion said, "You can go first!"
Jeff snickered. Humor her. "Thanks, Lilo. That's very polite of you."
Jeff smiled again and looked at his letters. Sucks for her and her niceness. This is actually a nice set of letters.
It was a very nice set indeed. Plenty of vowels. He took a few seconds to look at the list. You can do a lot with vowels.
He exchanged a nice smile with Lilo before turning his attention back to his set. Surely, there must be a lot you can with vowels. And a couple of consonants.
Those few seconds turned into thirty.
There's… there must be a lot I can do here.
Thirty turned into a minute. It's, I just, it'll just take a minute. I'm just pulling a blank. How weird. This just- I'm just pulling a blank. What- this-
"Uh, sorry. It's a weird set. Haha, it sure is good you let me go first!" HA. HA.
She began bobbing back and forth in her seat and yawned.
"It's, I, it-…" He made an unintelligible sound and used the center square to spell the word 'lox'. "I suck at Scrabble."
"Then why'd you play it?"
"I think it's one of those games that everyone forgets they suck at it."
She used his 'x' instantly. "Xeric."
"WHAT? 'Xeric'? What does that mean?"
"It means lacking in moisture." She locked eyes with him. "I studied 'X' words!" She toddled in her seat a bit more. "I was really hoping you or I got an 'x'."
He got three more squares. Now he had 'M, Y, I, C, N, D, Q'. Staring at the board for about ten seconds. "Oh, beat this."
"Clue?" She looked at it for three seconds, tops. "Mine is 'emote'."
"WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE?"
She found his anger funny. "My head! Don't you ever look at the dictionary?"
"Don't 'oh' me, little girl! Take this!" He used her 'E'. "'End'! You will see that soon."
She stared at him blankly.
"THIS IS SERIOUS."
"Why is it so serious? It's just scrabble. Your friends also seem to think it's really serious. Why do they think it's so serious?"
"I'm here to win something for them."
"Oh." She picked up the wood squares and held them for a few seconds before clicking them into place. "Like that?"
The word 'lox' was now connected with 'love.'
He took advantage of her 'V'. "Victims."
A buzzer sounded.
"Dear LORD, I love taking dramatic pauses."