Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran or any characters.


It's amazing, how grown up she is now. I never thought it would happen.

I remember standing there, holding her hand, as we left offerings at your shrine the first time.

I had so many feelings inside me at that moment.

I was sad that you were gone.

I was upset that the doctors couldn't save you.

I was dreading a life without you in it.

But, the strongest feeling inside of me was anguish.

At that moment I didn't think I could do it. I couldn't raise our daughter to be what she was meant to be.

Only you could do that.

You were the one with the brains, the ambition, the dreams. I was merely a nobody that was lucky enough to be included in your life.

What was I able to give her that you couldn't?

I couldn't tutor her late into the night.

I couldn't cook her favorite meals.

I couldn't offer her trustworthy, solid advice.

I know, I know, you probably think I'm being silly, but I was deadly serious at the time.

All I could think of as we rode the bus back home was that she'd never have the life she deserved, the life she would've had if you had lived and I had died.

It took me years to get over this. It wasn't until she told me that she'd gotten the scholarship to Ouran that I knew I'd done something right.

And now, I feel no dread or anxiety about her future. I don't feel anguish at the thought of her going on without us.

Somehow, I gave her the best gift a parent could give – the ability to stand on your own.

I couldn't have done it without you though. You were the one on my mind every morning and every night. You were the one that gave me the ability to make her laugh or to offer her support.

And so, between us both, we've made a fine, strong, beautiful daughter.

Because of this, I can rest in peace now, knowing that I'll see you soon.

I love you.


Author's Note: I wrote this for musicroom#3 on livejournal. And I won first place with it for the theme angst. If you'd like to see the amazing banner nicluvly made for it just follow the link in my profile.

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