He twisted open the cap on the lube, struggling to control his breathing as he inhaled the scent of citrus, his lips curling into a grin as he squeezed some of the cool gel onto his fingers. He spread the gel around until it coated the digits, then he heaved a sigh; a soft sigh to calm his breathing and to relax as he laid back against his pillows, his gel coated fingers disappearing between his thighs. He chewed on his lower lip as the first finger brushed against the puckered ring of muscle nestled between his ass cheeks.
He didn't bother trying for penetration quite yet, even as the muscle contracted and then relaxed when his finger ran around the rim. He didn't feel the need to rush this. He had ample time laid out before him to fully enjoy this experience, and that's exactly what he intended to do. He closed his eyes and allowed images of the tall, dark, long haired man to overwhelm him.
A soft, strangled groan of pleasure left his lips as he thought about that man. His cock twitched and throbbed in interest as the memory of Jacob's interview played out in his mind. He remembered the younger man's cock - long and hard, just for him. He remembered how he had tasted, pleasured him until he climaxed, and then drinking deeply of the man's cum, the man's bitter, salty aftertaste sticking around even through the hot chocolate.
Edward wanted to wrap his lips around the man's girth as badly as he wanted to swallow the entire length of Jacob's cock, he needed to feel the weight of the younger's erection against his tongue as he blew him. He wanted that man like he had never wanted anyone before. It was a dizzying desire, one that just had to be satisfied, even if it was only through his overactive imagination.
He pressed his finger against his entrance, chewing on his bottom lip as the tip breeched the ring of muscle. He didn't try to push more inside of himself, he just wiggled the tip around while he wrapped his other hand around his erection. The single finger didn't hurt per say, but it was uncomfortable. It always was. It was just something you got used to if you liked ass play and Edward liked some ass play.
A pearly drop of precum beaded at the tip of his penis, and he watched it glisten in the dim light of his bedside lamp before his eyes fluttered closed. He arched into his hand as his thumb rubbed the slit, smearing the cum around the head of his cock. As his hips shifted, his finger slid deeper into him until the digit was completely buried within his tight hole.
For a long moment, he didn't move his finger. He gave his body a chance to relax around the intrusion as he continued to fist his erection, the slight pain of penetration doing little to ease his arousal. After a short while, when resisting the urge to move became too strong, Edward started arching and rolling his hips into his hand. As he did this, he started moving his finger around as well.
His finger moved without a particular destination in mind, he wasn't trying to find his prostate yet-the gland, though, was a little to the left and his body shivered in delight when his fingertip shied over it accidently. He was trying to get his body to relax further so he could slip yet another finger into himself, and no matter how badly he wanted to feel the sense of being completely full, he wouldn't rush this.
Then he felt his balls tighten, and for a moment the feeling overwhelmed him and Edward bucked up into his hand as he tried to draw the feeling out and make it crest at the same time. "…shit…" Edward groaned softly in pleasure, forcing himself to stop before he peaked and came.
Heavy pants fell from his lips as he laid back against the bed. Edward's hips still lazily followed the movements of the finger inside of him, but now he was careful not to accidently brush against his sweet spot again. He wasn't aiming to arouse himself further; he needed a moment to calm down so he gave himself that moment.
He took a deep breath, letting it all out in a heavy sigh as he relaxed himself again, a second finger pressing against the slightly stretched ring of muscle. It burned this time, unlike the first had, but he pushed through the pain-it was only slight and nothing he couldn't handle. It was only a temporary roadblock to the pleasure he so desired.
His fingers worked in deeper, stretching slightly and moving. Always moving. He knew the burning wouldn't completely subside, it was best to just get used to it. But, if he were being completely honest…the burning felt kinda good. Real good. It was a good hurt, a pleasurable hurt.
Images flickered behind his eyelids, the fantasies running wild until Jacob was the only conscious thought in his mind. His cock throbbed and ached. He wanted to touch himself again, but he resisted the urge. Instead he reached above him, clutching the pillow as his fingers teased his prostate. His breathing was ragged and his heart was pounding, he wouldn't last much longer. But he didn't want to cum this way…
His eyes fluttered open and he stared at the ceiling before turning his head to the side, looking at the dildo laying against his pillow for a moment before he reached for it. It was full and thick, it was also one of his favorites. He had even taught himself to deep-throat with it once upon a time before he was a pornstar, and now he was going to fuck himself with it. He groaned in anxious anticipation at the thought, greedily grasping the toy before bringing it to his eager mouth.
His fingers moved inside of him, stretching and preparing himself for the cock. All the while he sucked on the toy, imagining it was Jacob's cock instead of a past pornstar's rubber replica. He ran his tongue along the veins, thrusting it into his mouth, the blunt head hitting the back of his throat. He could almost hear Jacob's cries of pleasure, he could almost taste his precum as he fucked his own mouth with his toy.
Edward was lost to his fantasy, so wrapped up in it that he could smell a muskiness that was entirely Jacob's own - the scent that was burned into his memory since the younger man's audition and the blow job Edward had given him in his sister's office. He groaned around the dildo as his fingers hit his prostate and his body spasmed in pleasure. It wouldn't be much longer now. He added yet another finger to the previous two, his heels digging into his mattress as his knees parted and his hips bucked into his hand.
His movements were more erratic now, edged with a purpose as though he couldn't wait any longer - in fact, he didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted it now, he needed it now. He pulled his fingers from his body, groaning softly at the loss as he reached for the open tube of lubrication he had used earlier.
He didn't use it right away however. That would mean taking the cock out of his mouth and he wasn't quite finished with it yet. He thrust it between his lips, taking in as much of it as he could as he imagined it was Jacob fucking his mouth. He flicked his tongue across the head, imagining the salty taste of cum before he ran his tongue along the veins running down the sides. He could almost hear Jacob's cries of pleasure as he sucked on his balls, he could very nearly feel the cock twitching as he swallowed it one last time.
Waiting, he realized, was no longer an option. He couldn't fight the urge anymore, he didn't even want to resist it. He wanted the dildo buried deeply within him, he wanted to be filled and fucked until he climaxed screaming Jacob's name.
He pulled the toy from his mouth and held it for a moment. He squeezed the lube into the palm of his free hand before tossing the bottle aside. Quickly, while panting heavily in anticipation, he spread the gel over the length of the dildo. Once he was sure it was well coated, he put his arm underneath his knee and hitched it to his chest, then he pressed the lubed toy against his stretched hole.
Deep, relaxing breaths fell from his lips as he started to push the toy inside of him. It burned as it stretched the muscle beyond the width of his three fingers, but he wouldn't allow that to stop him. He knew it'd feel good once he got used to it, so he continued to work the cock in deeper. A soft sigh left Edward's parted lips as he felt the blunt head of the dildo enter him completely. He remained still for a moment to allow his body to get used to the thickness of the toy.
Jacob's weight, though purely imagined, was real against him. He could feel the younger man's soft pants against his ear in between his whispered words of encouragement: Your ass is so tight…I'm going to fuck you raw…I won't stop until you're screaming my name. The promise weighed heavily on Edward, though it was not real, he could close his eyes and make it so as he pushed the toy further into his body.
All the while he could hear Jacob praise his tight ass-his perfect ass-as he pushed himself forward, not stopping until he was balls deep inside of him. Once again, Edward held the dildo still as he struggled to catch his breath and calm his erratic breathing. After a moment, the fingers of Edward's other hand wrapped around his erection and then, as he pulled the cock nearly completely out of his body and started to slowly thrust it back inside, he started to jack himself off again.
Edward's cries echoed throughout the room as he changed the angle of the toy before driving it into himself. The thrusts were harsh, bordering on violent, but that was how he wanted it. He wanted to be fucked! He wanted the reminder every time he sat down the next day, he wanted to feel the delicious ache between his ass cheeks as he leaned over and whispered what he had done in Jacob's ear just to see the man's reaction.
Every thrust brought him closer to his climax and every time the head of the dildo hit his prostate, he cried out Jacob's name. It felt so good falling from his lips. It added to his pleasure, and suddenly the first waves of his orgasm crashed over him. His body shook wildly as his ass spasmed around the rubber cock buried within him. Thick, warm, white ribbons of cum erupted from the tip of his cock, and…
…I awoke with a start, my eyes snapping open while I gasped for air. I panted heavily in attempts to calm my frantically beating heart, but it didn't seem to be working. I was shaking violently, and I was beyond confused…and, fuck, I was hard. So fucking hard.
I sat in my bed, clutching my blanket around my waist as I looked down at the sharp, intricate design. I allowed myself to become lost in the confusing, criss-cross patterns of colors and shapes - remembering the summer I spent in La Push with my aunt. Now the blanket my grandmother had left for me was hiding my erection.
I heaved a soft sigh. I had already admitted to myself that I found Edward attractive, sexually attractive, but I never had a dream about him that was this intense. I could still feel him underneath me, I could still hear his voice ringing in my ear. The memory made my cock throb harder, demanding attention that I didn't want to give it.
My hand trembled as I pulled the blanket aside, exposing my fully aroused cock. I knew it wouldn't be going away anytime soon, not unless I took care of it myself. Another sigh left my lips as I stared at it before making a decision…
A hard-on was a terrible thing to waste. I wrapped my hand around my erection and leaned back against my headboard. I could feel the bead work of my dream catcher tangling in my messily braided hair as I started stroking myself with every intention of getting off…
…but it wasn't working nearly as well as I wanted it to. I was thinking about sliding my dick into a nice, warm, and wet pussy. I could hear my girl's high pitched screams echoing around the room as she begged me for more - "Harder, Jacob! Fuck me faster!"
The feminine voice inside of my head slowly started to deepen, and there was an undercurrent of amusement laced within the voice. It was his voice. His deep, husky voice begged me to fuck him and my body reacted to that. I forced myself to stop, however, forcing my eyes to open so the fantasy would end.
Once again I found myself reiterating, like a broken record, that I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I wanted Edward's body, but I didn't need to imagine fucking him in order to get off. I could do it while thinking about a girl, it's not like I haven't gotten off while thinking about fucking a girl before…
So, why couldn't I do it now?
I almost called to cancel the prearranged meeting with Edward. I wasn't sure I could face him after the dream I had last night. But, at the last moment, just before I keyed in the last number, I changed my mind. I wasn't completely sure why, but then I wasn't sure why I felt the need to avoid him in the first place. I couldn't begin to tell myself it was natural to have those sort of dreams about someone, because I had never had an erotic dream about another man before…
…but, honestly, I should've expected it at the very least. There was an obvious attraction between us, it was no use to deny it anymore-though I seemed to be good at doing just that. I wanted Edward. I wanted to fuck him. And I wanted it badly.
But I wasn't gay.
I pulled into the parking lot of the little coffee shop he had taken me to just after my audition. I didn't know what sort of car he drove, so I couldn't look for it as I pulled into an empty space. I checked my watch as I turned off my engine, I hesitated before getting out of my car. I knew it was silly to be nervous, but the feeling welled up within me as I stepped onto the sidewalk and headed for the entrance.
As I pulled the door open the bells hanging from the handle jingled, alerting the employees to a new customer. I stood just in front of the door, feeling as though every person in the café was staring at me, though I knew it wasn't true. I felt an immense sense of relief when I saw Edward stand and wave me over, a curious little grin on his face that had me wondering, but I didn't say anything about it as I walked over and took the seat across from him.
He didn't say anything as I sat down. If anything, his smile grew wider. I shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortable in light of that grin. It was…devious. And I wasn't sure I liked it. In fact, it scared me slightly. I didn't want to know, but then again…I had to. "So, um…" I started, picking at the napkin that was laying in front of me before I looked up at Edward. "What's with the smile?"
For a long, laborious moment Edward didn't say anything. The smile didn't exactly go away, but the elder man chewed on his lower lip in a thoughtful fashion as he resisted the growing urge to chuckle at the question presented to him. He didn't laugh, but he did want to answer it. He yearned to tell Jacob the reason behind his curious little smile, but just not yet. "I figured we could have lunch before the photo shoot," he suggested, his voice having dropped an octave lower as his eyes met Jacob's.
Jacob stared at him, his gaze was obviously confused, but he merely nodded at the suggestion of lunch without further questioning the smile's meaning. However, something told Edward that it wasn't completely gone and forgotten from the younger's mind. That was just fine by him. He'd love to revisit the topic later on. "A-alright…" Jacob replied unsteadily, his eyes nervously flicking away before returning to him.
Edward could plainly see the other man's embarrassment; the emotion was startlingly clear on Jacob's face. But, then again, he seemed like the type of man to wear his emotions on his sleeve. It was something Edward really appreciated about him. He loved being able to easily read Jacob. The man was so expressive, so passionate - It was breathtaking. A sight to be admired.
A silence fell over them, but it was a comfortable one. Edward allowed himself a moment of quiet observation before he'd break the delicately peaceful atmosphere surrounding them. Jacob was, in a single word, gorgeous. He was tall, he towered over Edward by at least four inches, and Jacob's golden skin was the perfect opposite to his own pale complexion. While Edward was slim and lanky, Jacob was bulky and muscular.
The elder man couldn't wait to see Jacob completely naked. He couldn't wait to drink in the perfection that was Jacob Black. He closed his eyes against the desire and heaved another soft sigh before he caught Jacob's questioning gaze. He smiled again, but this time the curl of his lips held an innocence to them.
"So," Edward started as he folded his arms over the top of the table. "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself. I feel like I hardly know you." It wasn't a nice feeling either. He wanted to know if there was more to this chemistry between them than just the obvious lust. That and he always liked to get to know his costars.
Jacob looked surprised at the simple request, and Edward found himself smiling at the notion. The younger man frowned for a moment before answering, "Well, what do you want to know?" He asked after a moment of silence.
The elder man shrugged, smiling still as he watched Jacob. "Whatever you want to tell me," he replied easily. "How old are you? Where are you from? What do you do when you're not auditioning for porn…?"
A soft chuckle fell from Jacob's lips. The action made Edward's smile grow. It was such a beautiful sound, the laughter. It was rich, and deep, just completely awe inspiring. He was delighted to know that he was the cause of such a wonderful sound.
"Well…" Jacob started, smiling still as Edward watched him. "I just turned twenty-two a few weeks ago. I'm originally from La Push, Washington, but my dad moved my sisters and I here shortly after my mom passed away and I work at the car customization shop down the street. Though I don't really do customs, I'm more about restoring the antiques we get in."
Edward nodded in understanding. "Impressive," he remarked, the tone of his voice plainly showing that his words were true. Jacob seemed to flush at that, shrugging in a noncommittal fashion. "No, really, I have an appreciation for older cars. I think it's fantastic. I'd love to come by some time."
The change in Jacob from just a few simple words was nothing short of amazing, Edward decided. The younger man's entire face lit up and he smiled broadly, truly. That's when Edward realized that, not only was Jacob Black a sexy man, but he was beautiful as well. Absolutely beautiful.
"Really?" Jacob asked, and Edward smiled slightly at that before he nodded in affirmation. He didn't just want to have sex with Jacob anymore, he wanted to get to know him. He wanted a friendship between them. He wanted Jacob to be in his life.
"I'd like to get to know you, Jacob. In more than just a sexual way," Edward explained softly, offering the other man a smile. "I'd like us to be friends."
Jacob's eyes widened in what Edward assumed was shock, his lips parted and he looked ready to speak, but before he could the waitress had come to take their orders. The twenty-two year old let out a low, soft sigh and seemed to drop the subject for the time being as both men gave their orders for lunch.
They waited for their food in a comfortable silence, neither feeling the need nor want to break it, during which Edward allowed his mind to drift off. That's when the fantasy started. He imagined Jacob in a garage, maybe even his own on a Sunday morning, covered in grease and sweat. Though he was dirty, he still looked delicious. If anything, the mess added to the man's sexual appeal.
Edward wanted him. He wanted to lay him out over the hood of the car he worked on. He wanted to make love to the younger man for hours on end, bringing them both Earth shattering pleasure. He wanted to hear Jacob crying out his name as he cried out Jacob's.
"There's that smile again…"
Edward's eyes flickered up to my own and he held my gaze for a moment. I was slightly uncomfortable thanks to that curious little smile on Edward's face, but I tried not to let it show. I didn't want him knowing he affected me like that. I think he knew though, by the way his smile widened and got just a tad bit more mischievous.
His eyes were intensely boring into my own, almost daring me to look away, but I didn't. I couldn't look away. I was struck by his dark green eyes. I stared. I stared so hard that I could make out the gold flecks in his iris. I told myself I should look away, but I couldn't. There was something about his gaze. Something dark and deep. Something that made my heart race and my body shake.
He leaned closer to me and my first instinct was the lean back, but I ignored that urge. Instead I found myself leaning forward, as if drawn in by a trance. I was hypnotized by him. "You want to know about that smile?" He asked, his breath tickling my ear.
"Jacob?" He murmured against my ear when I didn't answer, and a soft surprised gasp left my lips at the soft beckoning. "You're not answering me," Edward prompted again before he pulled away just enough to catch my gaze again.
I felt the heat rush to my face, though I hoped it wasn't showing as a flush. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I asked finally, my voice barely above a whisper as my eyes momentarily darted away from his penetrating stare.
He didn't answer right away, but I really didn't expect him to. He had a mysterious distinction about him that set him apart from other people. Edward would only give him just enough to get him going, of that he was certain. "You want to know, Jacob?" He asked, and I shivered when he said my name. He said it with such feeling, such passion-it was as though it was some rare gift when it fell from his lips.
He didn't seem bothered by the fact that I hadn't answered, he just kept on speaking as though he wasn't expecting me to say anything and maybe he didn't. "…I was hot last night, so I decided to have a little fun…" Edward murmured softly against my ear.
My eyes widened in shock at his words and I would've pulled back to see if he was kidding with me, but he chose that moment to rub his cheek against mine. "I got my favorite dildo, Jacob…" I gasped at the word and he paused mid-sentence to chuckle softly at my reaction. "…I lubed it up and fucked myself with it. I fucked myself hard…"
Edward pulled back slightly and his eyes locked with mine, I noticed they were an even deeper shade of green than they had been before. But, this time, I knew they were dark with arousal. "And, Jacob…" he said softly, slowly, making sure he had my attention. "I fucking came thinking of you."
I gasped sharply and I felt my body instantly reacting to his words and the images they invoked. I could clearly see Edward fucking himself with that cock…
Just like my dream. I swallowed. My body shook and I had to look away from him. I looked away in just enough time to see our waitress returning with our food and a polite smile. She had no idea. No idea of what Edward had just done to me, of how he had affected me, or what I wanted to do to him right at that moment.
He watched me as though he didn't notice the pretty young woman set his lunch down in front of him. In reality I didn't notice anyone but him and the way he still watched me. I didn't acknowledge my food or the waitress as she asked if there was anything else she could get us, but Edward seemed to be of a more rational mind than I was at the moment.
Edward turned to her, smiled endearingly and said that we were fine. She left without another word and then his eyes were back on me. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. I wanted a way out, but I was glued to my seat. "I can't wait to experience the real thing," he admitted after a moment of silence, his words shocking me again. Making me freeze and watch him with wide, disbelieving eyes. "I can't wait to feel every fucking inch, Jacob."
And I believed him.
What's more, I found myself hardly able to wait for the moment I'd be buried balls deep in him.
Edward watched the younger man with a muted smile, hardly able resisting the urge to snicker as Jacob shifted in his chair. He looked both uncomfortable and nervous, but at the same time he looked intrigued and aroused. It was a lovely combination on the young man, Edward decided with a smirk as he turned his attention to his lunch.
It took him a moment longer, but eventually Jacob followed Edward's example and started in on his own. The two ate in relative peace and silence, only interrupted when the waitress returned to their table to see if they needed refills on their drinks and then, finally, she returned with the check and left with their empty dishes.
"I got this," Edward said, reaching for the check, but Jacob stopped him from taking it by laying his hand on top of Edward's. He looked up at Jacob, his eyebrow arched in question.
"I can't let you pay," Jacob explained, shaking his head. "You covered me the last time."
The corners of Edward's lips tipped up at that, curving to form a small smirk as he laid his other hand on top of Jacob's. "It's alright," he replied softly, steadily as he lifted Jacob's hand into his own. "You can pay me back," he added as Jacob unconsciously tried to tug his hand from Edward's grasp.
Jacob's eyes looked panicked, but he didn't act on the emotion. "You've really got a thing for public displays of affection, don't you?" He asked, though he didn't sound put off by the notion, simply weary of it.
A soft chuckle tumbled from Edward's lips as he nodded. "Only towards you," he replied, a playful teasing obvious in his voice as Jacob sighed heavily. "Does it bother you? Make you feel uncomfortable? It makes you blush, that much I can see."
Edward laughed again when Jacob looked away from him, his tanned cheeks flushed red. "If I said it bothered me…you'd only do it more," the younger pointed out and Edward didn't feel the need to disagree because it was true, not that he was doing it to be mean, however. Jacob just had no idea how cute he was with flushed cheeks and an uncomfortable expression on his face.
"You got me there," Edward replied with a grin, bringing the younger's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before he released Jacob. "Regardless, I've got the check. You can either get it next time or pay me back. Your choice," he said with an added shrug as he stood up, digging in his back pocket to get his wallet.
Jacob sighed heavily, but didn't say anything more on it. Edward considered it a battle won and went to the front counter to pay for their lunch. He considered it a business venture. After all, there was business to attend to afterwards…
…and he was totally putting it on the company credit card, but, sh! Don't tell Alice!
Feelings of unease twisted inside of me as I watched him walk away to pay the check. I knew it wasn't, but it felt a little like a date when he wouldn't let me pay. I wasn't so sure I liked that idea, in fact, I knew I didn't.
Things between Edward and I were purely sexual, purely business. Nothing more and nothing less. I bit my bottom lip, a frown appearing on my face as I pushed the idea of wanting more from him from my mind. Once again, reminding myself that I wasn't gay. I wasn't gay and I didn't want more from Edward.
I wanted to fuck him. I would fuck him. And then I'd move the fuck on with my life. Maybe I'd even settle down with some nice girl, maybe I'd marry her. Maybe I'd give my dad the grandkids he wanted. Maybe…
…why did it seem like my life was nothing more than one huge maybe anymore?
"You ready to go?"
My eyes flickered to him as if I had no control over them. His voice seemingly controlled my body and soul. I nodded in answer before I stood out, and then I followed him out of the door. We paused on the sidewalk, close to the entrance as he gave me directions to the house we'd be shooting at. After I reassured him that I knew where I was going, we parted ways and I continued to my car.
I left the parking lot and drove towards my destination with trepidation. I felt like I was heading into something, something I wouldn't be able to escape from once I was tangled in it. Something I didn't know if I could handle… and something that could possibly change everything that I was.