disclaimer: Kingdom Heart's isn't mine, neither is the quote used in the story. It belongs to Chuck Palahniuk.
notes: Chuck Palahniuk is awesome. Seriously.
love love revolution
it's not love or anything, but i think i like you too
— Chuck Palahniuk
Every second you breathe somebody will die, it's a fact. Every second you breathe, you are stealing the life out of someone else. People will die, not today— maybe tomorrow. You don't know, and every time you stare into her pretty violet eyes, you think she's bewitching you.
She laughs, thinking all that talk of witchcraft and wizardry is a bunch of foolishness. She holds your hand on the pier and just waits with you. Both of you are waiting for a shift, a change in the winds; a monsoon, maybe— you don't know.
Her name is Kairi, and she's the pretty little girl you might be just as mad as you are. Sometimes, you catch her kissing your friend, the one with fire in his soul— like she loves him. The days you catch them are the days you don't talk to them.
Sometimes you wonder how easy it would be to jump of the pier and just swim— maybe drown in the water, just let something happen. Your friend talked to you today— he said he might love her. He said that their names sounded good together.
You repeat their names, and it sounds like fire. (It just keeps burning, and burning your hand. And she won't notice your wounds on those lazy days when she would clasp her hand with yours. She would just fuel the fire. Maybe it's because you're weak, maybe it's because you're a coward that leads you to be fine with the pain.)
They don't know your name, but here's the catch— neither do you.
Your name is just a jumble of letters that aren't quite yours, but seem to be yours at the same time. A name that was stolen, but was just hidden or changed— it doesn't really matter. Nothing really ever belonged to you (sometimes you think that your memories aren't even yours, maybe they too are like your name— hidden and changed.)
Truthfully, you hate it.
The world should just burn, you scream to the pier. No one listens; the lights are on, but still no one listens.
You don't exist.
You never did.
So you choose the leave the town that day, leaving a note saying that you'll come back when you know your name. And the reactions of the people who matter aren't any reactions at all. Just a shrug saying, that this is all a phase.
The world says that you'll come back.
You always come back.
The day when you returned, years later— the girl you once knew is now a woman and the friend you once knew is a better man; they are in love, getting married. All you can do is pretend that you don't care how nice it feels when to to-be bride hugs you, and how it feels like home. You can pretend to be excited to see your friend again, and you are happy, just jealous. Envious, even.
They world said that you cause destruction, breaking apart a pretty girl's world, her wedding, by her abrupt confession.
I love you, she says. Earnestly, sobbing in your chest. Her makeup is waterproof and she's just waiting for you to grab her hand and just run. Somehow, you expect to do the same thing. You are in love with her, aren't you? There are so many things you want to do; to say, but you say this.
It's not love or anything, but I think I like you too.
And start to walk away.
Maybe now, you will finally be able to breathe.
Your name is Roxas.
(this was a love love revolution, so what if you didn't end up with the girl? you ended up with something better, love.)