Author's Note: This is gonna be so much fun, I can already feel it. A parody of Gundam Seed/Destiny, and fanfiction written about it. I will be making jabs at just about everything, and every pairing under the sun. Why? Because I can. Will you laugh? I hope so. Are they out of character? Yeah, kind of, but that's the fun of it. Updates will probably be random and irregular. If I decide to add more chapters and cover other pairings, that is. Some mature themes involved, but nothing too graphic.
The clips of fanfiction are not based off of anything that already exists. I'm making them up myself. More fun that way :). Story is set in Destiny before they arrive in the Lunar City, Copernicus. Hope you enjoy this!
Friendship and a Restless Night
By: Angel Wings-008
Metal, Mobile Suits, and Burning Flames of Love
Kira Yamato was restless. Again. Seemed to be happening to him quite a lot lately.
Lately? Who was he kidding? It had been happening for this whole series, if he was being honest with himself. At least, he thought so. That was the only explanation as to why he could usually be found on a beach near the orphanage, brooding like an old man. Talk about a 360 degree turn in a different direction. Although, he much preferred semi-stoic and brooding as opposed to how he'd acted in the original series. At least he wasn't constantly having panic attacks. Or bawling night after night in the cock-pit of his mobile suit. Or screwing his friend's girl (Lacus didn't count, and he was sticking to that). Or being used by said girl as a device for revenge and murder.
Okay, if he didn't stop, he was gonna cry.
Back to the point. He was restless. Right. Of course he would be. He couldn't even see the sky from where they were, let alone go to the beach. They hadn't yet arrived in Copernicus, and he was sick of the emptiness of space. He would just have to revel in all of his awesome thoughtfulness right here on his bed, in the room he shared with Athrun.
Hey, there was another good thing about the Destiny series. He wasn't fighting on opposing sides of his best friend!
...anymore. Damn. Maybe this was kind of like the original.
The young coordinator sat listlessly staring at the screen of his laptop computer, hugging one leg to his stomach and resting his chin on a bent knee. There had to be something he enjoyed that didn't involve fighting or some other complication of war. It was just that, Kira wasn't used to not fighting people. Being the main character was a tough job, but somebody had to do it. Athrun was too much the flaky 'I'm stuck inside of my head all the time' kind of guy. Not always good for progress in an anime where blowing shit up counted as the only significant plot event.
Well, maybe he could convince Athrun to play video games with him when he got out of the shower. Until then though, Kira was screwed. What to do?
Minutes passed by at a painfully slow crawl, and Kira was still surfing through random websites when one caught his eye and forced him to pause. Hmm. He'd heard of fanfiction, if only fleetingly. Hesitantly, he selected the link. Why not? Might even find it interesting.
Was he ever right. On a whim, he navigated through countless topics under differing categories until he came to his own: Gundam Seed. You know, now that he thought about it, the 'Seed' part never was clearly explain, was it? They kind of just dropped hints along with vague bits of information and expected people to get the gist of it when coordinators in their cockpits randomly turned into invincible super warriors. Seriously? He couldn't help but giggle whenever he thought of his 'seed' exploding. Nice metaphor. They totally did that on purpose.
Grinning, he clicked on the blue hyperlink. This was going to be good. Maybe. Hopefully.
"Hey Kira, have you seen any of my sweatpants? I can't find them." Kira heard the voice of his best friend ask, distant, yet close by. Clearly, it was coming from the bathroom doorway. There was a faint echoing quality surrounding the words.
"They're in the wash, remember? Just grab a pair of mine," he replied, without turning his head to look at the other coordinator. Sprawling out on his stomach, Kira scrolled down the page, reading title after title, summary after summary. Before long he was smiling wide, struggling not to burst into hysterical laughter.
"Athrun, come here. You have to see this!"
Kira could hear his best friend riffling through the closet, and it wasn't long before the snap of a hangar reached his ears. After a moment or two, he walked into Kira's field of vision, tugging on a pair of blue and white checkered pajama bottoms that the young man recognized as his own.
"What?" Athrun asked, walking forward to sit beside Kira on the bed. He leaned in toward the laptop screen to check out what Kira was looking at, but that only caused his face to plunge into a further state of confusion. "What is this?"
"Something called fanfiction, and get this; there are tons of stories about us!"
Kira grinned. "Yeah, all of us. Everyone who has ever appeared in Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny. There are even some dedicated to people nobody cares about, who got little to no screen time. Weird, huh? I mean, seriously. Who the hell is Miguel?"
Athrun froze and turned on Kira, emerald eyes glaring. Uh-oh. What? What did I say?
"A friend of mine, who you killed after about three episodes, thank you very much."
Oh. Awkward. Kira winced, frowning in concern. "Right. My bad. I mean, uh...sorry."
Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he gestured for Kira to scoot over, a request to which he quickly complied. Within a second, Athrun was stretched out next to him, reaching for the mouse. "Let me see this."
"Uh, Athrun, you might wanna pace yourself. Some of them are...oh ew, that would never happen!" Kira groaned, screwing up his nose in disgust. "Me and Commander La Flaga? Really?" Scanning the summary once more, he struggled not to turn around and claw his eyes out with the fork that lay on his bedside table.
Metal, Mobile Suits, and Burning Flames of Love
Kira may have been a coordinator, but there were a great many things he still didn't know. Well, then. A certain blonde-haired natural would just have to fix that, wouldn't he? Kira/Mu slash. ZOMG sexiness ;D
Was his eye twitching? Why yes, yes it was. His mouth was hanging open too, and Kira couldn't help himself. Damn, he wished whoever it was would stop making that strangled chicken sounding noise, that was annoying...oh wait, that was him. Great. He kind of felt like curling up into a ball under the covers and never coming out again.
This may not have been at all amusing to Kira, but Athrun was roaring with laughter beside him. "Come...come on. Click...it..!" He choked between breaths. He was laughing so hard he couldn't even breathe. Served him right.
"No way. I've seen enough."
"Come on, Kira. This was your idea, you know. How bad could it be, it might even end up being hilarious," Athrun reasoned, voice still hoarse from laughing as he wiped tears from his eyes.
And, because Kira often ended up silently hanging on Athrun's every word, he listened to him. Why not? He was already scarred for life. What could go wrong? "Fine..." Kira clicked on the link and visibly winced when the story popped onto the screen, preparing for the worst. Why did he get the feeling that he was going to regret this later?
It took all of two seconds for him to answer that question.
"S-Senpai...can I ask you something?
Oh, dear God, he hated it already. Kira did not stutter like that. Nevertheless, he pressed on, regardless of his own sanity. Morbid curiosity, he guessed. Athrun was right. He really didn't think things through. If he had, he would have realized that this was a bad idea and exited out of the window immediately. No, he wasn't talking about his computer either. Don't laugh, he was serious.
And yet, he continued to read this pile of crap even now, because that was the way the writers always wanted him to be: reckless, and slightly clueless.
Mu La Flaga turned his head to gaze at Kira, and the young coordinator's heart skipped to a stop inside of his chest. He was beautiful. Kira couldn't deny it anymore. That was why he had to ask. He absolutely had to ask. Keeping a secret like this was tearing him apart! His soul was screaming out a name, and that name was Mu La Flaga!
"Anything, kid. Ask away. What's on your mind?" the older man replied, mouth twisting into that studly roguish grin that made Kira swoon. The one that made him wonder if the keeper of his heart was a natural blonde. Oh no, what if he was blushing now? He had to be manly for Mu to like him! Blushing was not manly!
"Well? Spit it out, Kira." Mu leaned in closer, lips grazing Kira's ear, teasingly. Just daring the younger man to turn and press his mouth onto his. "What did you want to ask me?" he whispered, hot breath on his neck.
"I just can't hide it anymore! Ever since that day...that day you told me I should fight with you, I just can't stop thinking about you! When you look at me, when you talk to me...when you brutally murder someone in a fiery explosion of metal and shrapnel, and all in my defense..."
Mu winced. "Getting kinda weird, kid. Get to the point."
"Right, sorry. Every time you put your arms around me or help me out of my cockpit, I want to slam you onto the ground, rip your clothes off, and have my way with you, never mind the fact that doing so would be painfully out of character. I love you, Mu! Please make sweet, passionate, illegal, highly x-rated love to me! Please!"
"Now, that's what I'm talking about. Been waiting for you to say that." His blue eyes lit up with mischief as he looked at him, face mere inches away. "I love you too, Kira. I've been wanting to go down on you ever since I first saw you at Heliopolis, even though we were in a war zone and I should have been focusing on not getting blown up. Though you were obviously way too young and angst-ridden, I wanted to rip the shit out of that ass from the start. I'm too big and manly not to be the dominant one. If you'll have me, I'll take you right here, right now."
"Oh, Mu! I thought you'd never ask!" And, because this is a romance fanfiction, their flight suits were magically ripped off in record time, revealing unnaturally developed muscles, and a sixteen year old with a certain something that should never have been this big. Then again, he was a coordinator and Mu certainly didn't seem to mind, when he...
All right, stop! Stop! Someone had to make it stop! What was wrong with the world? What was wrong with people?! Oh, the agony! Oh, the heart-wrenching despair! Kira was gonna go angst now. Yes, that was it. Just curl up in a corner somewhere in a fetal position, forget about the world, and come up with a way as to how he was ever going to look Mu in the eye again. Or 'Neo Roanoke,' whatever the hell he was calling himself these days. What a stupid name. It made him sound like he was from a soap opera or something. Or a porno.
In any case, what the hell. What the hell! Angst. Must go angst. He'd get on that now, right after he punched Athrun in the face for laughing hard enough to be sobbing.
"Oh, Mu! I thought you'd never ask!" Athrun cooed in a singsong voice that was so high-pitched, it grated on his ears. It was not helping the headache Kira could feel coming on. The young coordinator was banging his fists on the bed as he continued to laugh, tears streaming down his cheeks. The horrible thing? Kira had never seen Athrun 'cry' so much in his life. What did that even say about him?
"Shut up!" A few seconds passed. His supposed best friend wasn't shutting up. Fine. He'd have to play 'that' card. Athrun had sworn him to secrecy because if Dearka ever found out, he would never hear the end of it. But, what did Kira care? He and Athrun had nearly killed each other multiple times. Something so mundane wasn't going to tear up their friendship. Nothing seemed quite so bad after, "I destroyed you, your friend, and your mobile suit in one fell swoop."
"That's it. If you don't stop laughing, I'm gonna tell Cagalli about that time you decided to 'experiment' at summer camp," Kira said with a grin, smiling even wider when his best friend was instantly struck silent.
Athrun turned to him, pure terror written all over his face. "You wouldn't dare."
"I would, and I will. You guys are already on the rocks. I'm sure she'd love to know you may not be into chicks at all." He had to get back at him somehow. Being Mu's bitch was not funny. End of story. Kira was the one who held god-like amounts of power and endless, battle after battle beam-spammage, so he was sticking to his guns. Literally and figuratively.
"I am too into women! I was just...curious," he replied in a small voice, cheeks as red as the ZAFT uniform he once wore. Well, it was more like twice. Or three times. Nah, maybe it was four.
Screw it. Kira had lost track of how often Athrun switched sides a long time ago.
Moments passed and Kira just sat there unmoving, with a grin on his face that would have made the Cheshire Cat proud, never mind the fact that he wasn't supposed to know who the Cheshire Cat was. Athrun was sweating profusely, seeming more and more nervous by the second. Although, apparently he had the courage for one last jab.
"You're right, I'm sorry. It isn't at all funny that you and Mu La Flaga just screwed each other in a fiction story on the internet."
"All right, I'm serious this time. I'm sorry. Just don't tell her. Please? Especially not who it was. Do not tell her who it was!" His friend sounded so desperate, Kira almost felt bad for him for a second. Almost.
Was it enough? Nope. Not even close.
"Okay. I promise I won't tell Cagalli that you made out with Yzak Joule at summer camp."
Now he was the one who was struggling not to start laughing/sobbing. "What? I didn't say I wouldn't speak of it at all."
"I was nine years old, okay? Nine! You were there, you could have talked me out of it."
"Please, Athrun, you can't even effectively talk yourself out of something without it already being too late to turn back. Why do you think you're never in the same military group for more than twenty to thirty episodes? You're as much of an emotional nutcase as I am."
His lip was out in a pout, and his arms were crossed over his chest as he lay on his back, but his friend didn't raise any protest. "Fair enough."
Geez. When had being a whiny little girl become Athrun's job? That Shinn kid was supposed to hold the title now, right? Kira had always thought that the one green outfit with that funny looking beret had made Athrun look like a girl scout or something, but this behavior was a bit extreme even taking that into account, wasn't it? At least girl scouts sold cookies and stuff.
Things could always be far worse for his best friend than they were, that was for sure. He could be some nobody bodyguard named Alex Dino who went nowhere and did nothing.
…huh. No wonder he'd joined back up with ZAFT.
...yeah. Don't look at me, I don't know either. It doesn't make any sense. I love Gundam Seed and Seed Destiny to death, but that doesn't mean I can't make fun of it too XD. It was especially fun coming up with the really bad story clips of the Kira/Mu story.