Prompt: Alfred has lost his key ring, on which he keeps the keys to everything he owns. How does this affect his day? What does he do to recover his keys?

His boss was going to kill him.

It didn't matter one bit that, as a nation, a mere human (even when that mere human was the president of the United States of America) could not kill him single-handedly; he would figure out some way to do it.

Sadly, America had seen the man angry more times than he cared to admit, and it wasn't a pretty picture.

The First Lady was nestled comfortably on the plush couch in the sitting room under a cozy brown and red afghan reading a well-worn romance novel when he dragged himself over to the armchair and sat down miserably.

Blinking in surprised, the woman placed her old bookmark into the pages and removed her reading glasses. "Alfred?"


The First Lady raised an eyebrow. "Can I…help you with something?" She asked, and America couldn't help but inwardly scoff at the slight amusement in her voice

"Your husband is going to kill me."

"Oh honey," she said with a small smile. "Don't you think he would have done that already if he could?"

America was not amused. "I'm being serious!" He whined.

The woman bit back a giggle and sat up, patting the spot on the couch next to her. America reluctantly plopped next to her. "What is it, dear? What happened?"

"I lost something." He admitted, making sure to fix his gaze undyingly on the old-fashioned rug under the small glass coffee table.

"What did you lose?" She asked warmly.

Unfortunately, America found it increasingly more difficult to keep his gaze where it was. He let his eyes settle on the bowl of wax fruit on the table instead. "Something he gave me and told me to never, ever lose."

"Oh yeah?"


"Okay." She placed a delicate hand on the nation's nervously bouncing knee. "You can tell me what you lost, Alfred. I wont tell him if you don't want me to, and maybe I can help you find it."

America sighed heavily, allowing his eyes to now settle on the pretty zigzagging pattern on the blanket. "You promise you wont tell? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I'll be able to find it if I look hard enough, I just need a little time, and we're supposed to have this meeting at four, and you know how he gets when he's mad at me and with the economy the way it is he's been really grumpy an-"

"Alfred!" She exclaimed with a laugh. "Relax, honey. I wont tell him, I promise!"

"Okay…well…" He took a deep breath. "I lost my key ring!" He blurted suddenly. The First Lady jerked back a bit in surprise.

"Your key-?"

"My key ring." He miserably dropped his head onto her shoulder, which she patted nervously. "The one with all of my keys on it. All of my keys."

She cringed. "Oh my. That is quite a problem, isn't it?"

America snapped his head up, his eyes full of desperation. "Do you know how many keys I have? A lot. I have a lot of freakin' keys. Keys to each of my houses, the White House, all the rooms in the White House, some to other nation's houses, my car…Oh god, I can't live without my car!"

"Alfred, relax," she sighed. "Deep breaths now, there you go. In and out, nice and slow, in and out." The First Lady tenderly rubbed the poor distraught nation's back in slow circles. Once he had calmed down and stopped hyperventilating, she offered him a comforting smile. "Now, whenever I lose anything, I just retrace my steps. Have you tried that yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet…I just noticed it was gone, like, ten minutes ago."

"Well, there you go!" She smiled brightly, enthusiastically patting his knee. "You go on, and I'll keep the mean ol' president busy until you get back. How does that sound?"

America beamed. "Dude, you would do that?" When the first lady nodded, he threw his arms around her neck in a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you so much! I'll get right on that retracing my steps thing!"

"Good luck, Alfred!" She called, waving as the young nation ran out the door. With a small chuckle, she returned her reading glasses to their place in front of her eyes and picked up where she left off in her book.

Retrace his steps, huh?

Well, this could be interesting.

Today hadn't been what America would consider a "normal" day. Not that any day in America's life could be considered "normal" by any means, but today had been particularly unusual.

First of all, Tony felt the need to freaking abduct him first thing in the freaking morning. That had been fun. His extraterrestrial buddy had been doing that at least once every two months since they met, much to America's curiosity. He had once asked Tony what the deal was, only to receive a probe in reply.

He stopped asking after that and let him do his thing. No need to repeat that again.

Assuming that he hadn't been spooning with his keys while he was sleeping for some reason, America decided to start off his search in Tony's UFO.

If questioned about it later, America would vehemently claim that he was not, in fact, standing in his back yard, yelling up at a spaceship as a whale sent him concerned and worried looks.

His neighbors, however, would testify that yes, that is exactly what was going on.

"Beam me up!" America exclaimed desperately. "Open sesame! I come in peace! Dagnabbit, how the hell do I get in this thing?"

The UFO sat unresponsively, mocking him.

"Shut up," he snapped at it angrily. Next to him, in the large aboveground swimming pool, his whale gave him an apologetic pat on the back. "Thanks dude," he said with a smile before fixing his face into a determined frown and marching back over to the stubborn ship. Glaring it down, the nation rolled up his sleeves tenaciously.

He puffed up his chest, ready to give the thing a piece of his mind, when the door suddenly fell open, landing directly on his foot.

"Son of a BISCUIT!"

Tony's head poked out from the open doorway, his big red eyes blinking owlishly at his human friend. "What?" he asked bluntly.

America looked up from where he was tenderly rubbing his foot and pouted. "You haven't seen my keys, have you dude?"

"No," Tony replied simply, ducking back into the UFO and retracting the door once again. America's face immediately fell. Well, that was absolutely pointless.

Luckily, America had used his keys to get his iPod out of his car before he headed to the meeting downtown, so at least he knew he still had them after being abducted by Tony.

A point he managed to remember only after nearly breaking his foot.


With a deep sigh, he took out his poorly scrawled upon post-it note, and crossed off "Tony's UFO" as a possible location for his missing keys and set his sights on the second bullet on the list.


See that prompt up there? Sometimes when I need to get the creative juices flowing, I go to random prompt generators and let them give me ideas. THAT was the exact prompt, "Alfred" and all. I took it as a sign. XD Plus I wanted to give the First Lady some love. She rocks.

This is really just a little funny, silly thing I'm writing to keep my from going insane while I student teach. I seriously spend 8 hours teaching, then go straight to track for another 2ish hours, then spend ALL DAY on Saturday at meets, sooo I needed something to keep me from going crazy!

ANYWAY! Go ahead and throw some suggestions of where poor little Alfie ends up throughout the day! :D Let's make this a fun time!

The title comes from step 3 of this guidebook on how to find lost shit. XD