I'm sorry to those who are tired of all the angsty Jade fics, but that is why there is a warning IN BOLD. This is the warning. Please read this before you read the story. Thank you.
Jade West will not admit it.
She will not admit that it hurts, that she feels a tiny twinge of pain in her heart when Tori and Beck pass by.
She will not admit that she was a fool, a fool to believe that Beck would still be hers when Tori came along. Even before she did, their relationship had been like an old rope. Overused, and everyone was getting tired of it, bound to replace it, and then it snapped and had to be replaced.
She will not admit that she envies Tori. Her casual girlishness, her sense of humor, her awkwardness. She will not admit she wishes to be normal. Perhaps like Tori. Maybe Beck would take her back.
Beck was the boy/man who kept her in one piece, the tape. Jade was the paper and Tori was the scissors. But there was no more tape when the scissors acted this time.
She remembers her last fight with Beck. How she actually broke down and cried, yes, her, Jade West, the tough girl crying.
"Why are you always back late?" Jade asked uncomfortably, perched on the edge of their bed in the RV.
"Um.. I was with Robbie. Doing.. homework."
She could tell that was a lie. The way his eyes shifted nervously, the pauses between his words.
"Bullshit." she snaps, and before he can do anything, she's stolen his phone. She thumbs through the text messages until she finds the one she's looking for.
It's from Tori, and it's some girly love text. Of course. Jade knows.
She smirks at him, delicately holding the phone between her carefully painted nails. He watches, almost knowing what she's going to do.
She drops the phone and presses the heel of her boot onto it, putting all her weight onto it, breaking the phone.
Then her smirk fades. "How dumb do you think I am, Beck?"
"You're.. you're not dumb."
"You're just lying again. I already know, Beck. You've got some affair with Tori." She stands up and paces back and forth, pretending to be deep in thought.
"At least Tori will let me fuck her." he snaps. Jade whirls around, her eyes watering. She knows she's about to cry, he's stuck a stake in her heart, she doesn't care.
"And you're saying I won't?"
"You haven't mentioned it."
"I'm a GIRL, Beck! It takes some fucking time!"
"It's been two years, Jadelyn. You've had plenty of time."
Tears start to slip, smudging her mascara, but she doesn't care. "Just fuck you!" She throws open the door of the RV and runs, not looking, just running.
He calls after her, "I have Tori to do that for me!"
Honestly, she hated herself. She didn't know why. Beck was the asshole, she just thought she was.
Even though she already wore black, her black clothes seemed to change to a darker shade of black, if that was even possible.
She became quiet and shy, barely saying a word. If you were lucky, you got a 'hello'.
She basically became invisible, watching Tori and Beck make out in acting class like horny teenagers (which they probably were).
She fell for her emotions and built a wall around her, brick by brick, so solemnly.
Then her emotions died, and she was emotionless, of course. No one ever saw a smile or a scowl grace her features. Just the tight line that was her lips.
On the day that she lost Beck, Jadelyn August West died.
But she will never admit it.