Naruto, Shino, and Shikamaru headed to the roof. When they arrived, Anko was sitting on the guardrail, finishing off a stick of dango. She casually threw the stick at Naruto. Naruto deflected the stick and sat down in front of Anko along with Shino and Shikamaru. Anko grinned as she twirled a kunai.
"Alright brats. You three are the lucky trio to become my first Genin team. And since I know that two of you are clan heirs and the other a damned strong brat, I have high expectations for ya. Now, why don't we get some introductions such as you likes, dislikes, and dreams? How 'bout the pineapple first?"
Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. My name's Shikamaru Nara. I like shougi, sleeping, and looking at clouds. I dislike loud noises, work, and bossy women. My dream is to have an average career, have an average family, and retire to spend the rest of my days playing shougi."
"Sad to say lazy brat, you're going to have to work a lot under me," Anko replied. "How about you, Buggy?"
Shino's eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the nickname. "My name's Shino Aburame. I like collecting and observing insects. My dislikes are pesticides or anything that smells strong. My dream is to prove to the world that the Aburames are a clan not to be looked down upon."
Anko nodded in approval. "I'm sure you will Shino. Now let's here from you Whiskers."
"Don't call me Whiskers. My name's Naruto Uzumaki! Remember it! My likes are training and fighting. My dislikes are arrogant stuck-up people and idiots that are too stuck up in their own ideals to notice what's in front of them. My dream is to become the strongest and greatest shinobi that's ever walked the world."
Anko laughed. "Mighty big dream you got there brat. I can't wait to see the day when that happens."
"It will happen. Believe it!" Naruto cried. He cringed and palmed his face. "Man I thought I got rid of that habit."
"Well I got an interesting bunch of students to train. Now my name's Anko Mitarashi. My likes are explosions, poisons, dango, and my boyfriend, Iruka-kun. My dislikes are anyone that says dango is junk food and a certain snake Sannin. My dream is to become a well-known shinobi of Konoha, marry Iruka and have a family with him, and to dance on the grave of said Sannin."
Anko smiled at the stares of her students. "So now that we have introductions out of the way, let me tell you that the test you took at the Academy is not the real Genin exams."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked. Anko grinned.
"The standard test has a sixty-six percent chance of failure," Anko explained. "However I won't be giving that test."
She smirked at the sigh of relief that came from her students. "The test I'll be giving you will be either pass or fail. You all pass or you all fail, understand?"
"All for one and one for all, huh?" Naruto asked.
"Exactly," Anko said cheerily. "So get a good night's sleep everyone. The test will be at training ground 26 at nine o'clock sharp. Later."
She vanished in a puff of smoke. Naruto and Shikamaru coughed and waved their hands to quickly disperse of the smoke.
"So what kind of test is it going to be?" Naruto asked. Shikamaru shrugged.
"Most likely the test will focus on how well we function as a team," Shino replied.
"Ah, so that's it," Naruto said. "Then I have the perfect plan. Now listen."
The next day, all three were waiting at the training field. Shikamaru was sleeping while Shino was meditating. Nearby, Naruto had his large zanbato and was running a grinding stone against the blade. At precisely nine o'clock, their sensei arrived, grinning at her genins. Naruto placed the blade on his back and kicked Shikamaru. Shikamaru groaned and lazily sat up.
"You're all here. Good. Now let me explain the test," Anko said. "The test today will be to capture me. Got it? You have until sundown."
"That's it?" Shino asked. Anko chuckled.
"I ain't going to make this simple. So do your worst."
Naruto grinned widely and exchanged glances at the two.
"You remember the plan."
Shino and Shikamaru nodded as Naruto pulled the zanbato off his back. Shino quickly threw a barrage of shuriken at Anko who deflected them. However a soft puff drew her attention. She turned and hastily jumped to the side to avoid a swing from Naruto's sword. Naruto yanked his sword from the ground and charged at Anko. He swung the zanbato at Anko's head. Anko grinned and raised her kunai to block the sword. Her eyes widened when she felt the zanbato slam into her kunai. Her arm instantly became numb at the sheer force of the blow and she jumped back before Naruto could push harder.
"Kami, this kid swings his sword like a sledgehammer. I can't afford to get hit by that damn blade," she thought. Anko's smile faded a bit as she made several hand seals and inhaled.
"Katon: Grand Fireball!"
A large fireball erupted from Anko's mouth and flew towards Naruto. Naruto rolled to the side and used his sword to block an incoming kick from Naruto. Naruto skidded back at the blow and looked up to see Anko raising a kunai. Naruto grinned and made a quick hand seal. Anko grinned as she saw the kunai dig into Naruto but frowned as Naruto's form exploded into smoke to reveal that she stabbed Shino. Shino's face remained as emotionless as ever but she felt the kunai begin to slip. To her surprise, Shino exploded into a swarm of beetles that began to sap chakra from her body. Anko cursed and she replaced herself with a piece of wood.
"Too close," Anko thought. She grinned when she saw Shino and Naruto raise their weapons and charge at her.
"Ninpou: Hidden Snake Sleeves!"
A swarm of snakes erupted from her sleeves and flew towards Naruto. Naruto swung his sword but several snakes managed to sink their fangs into Naruto. Naruto cried out in pain before turning into water. Anko retracted her snakes and kicked Shino in the stomach, only to see him burst into another cloud of insects.
"Goddamned bugs!" Anko roared as she jumped back. However she heard a click and cursed as the ground she was standing on collapsed. A small orb fell in and it made an ominous click. Anko cursed aloud as the orb exploded into a brilliant flash of light, blinding her. Anko blinked rapidly tried to rub her eyes. However her arms refused to move. She heard a buzzing sound as beetles began to feast on her chakra, devouring her reserves.
"Anko-sensei, do you surrender?"
Anko sighed. "Yeah I do gaki. Now get these bugs off of me and tell me why the hell I can't move."
"Anko-sensei, don't tell me you've forgotten what the Nara clan's famous for?" Naruto called out in a teasing voice.
"Shadows," Anko breathed. "And here I thought you were sleeping."
"I was," Shikamaru muttered. Anko began to laugh as she jumped out of the pit. She landed in front of her three genins, all of them sporting proud smiles.
"Well done. You pass with flying colors," Anko said. "Now let's get some dango as a team."
"Dango? Why not ramen," Naruto whined.
"Because dango's the food of the gods," Anko said matter-of-factly.
"Blasphemy! Ramen is!"
"No dango is!"
Shino and Shikamaru sweat dropped as the two began to battle it out. Swords were a swinging and snakes were a hissing as the ultimate battle between food fanatics clashed. Shino and Shikamaru sighed as they began to make their way to the dango stand before they were either sliced to bits or bit by poisonous snakes.
The next day, the four of them headed to the Hokage's tower for their first team mission. During the way there, Naruto hopped around happily, imagining different missions that they would get.
"Ne, ne, you think we'll be guarding a princess? Or how about raiding bandit camps? No, that can't be it? Extermination jobs that include lots of gory messes? What do you think sensei?"
Anko grinned. "You'll see for yourself Naruto. It'll certainly be a memorable one."
"Oooh! I can't wait?"
"Hey Naruto, could you settle down? It's still morning! Some of us are still half-asleep!" Shikamaru snapped crankily.
Naruto slapped Shikamaru in the face. Shino and Anko winced at the loud crack that was made. Shikamaru jumped up and swung at Naruto.
"What the hell was that for?" Shikamaru yelled. Naruto snickered.
"The Wake-Up slap, guaranteed to wake anyone up at anytime!" Naruto said with a wide smile.
"Ow! What was that for Anko-sensei?" Naruto whined as he rubbed the back of his head.
"My discipline smack, guaranteed to make troublesome pupils behave better," Anko replied. "Do you need more proof?"
"No, no, I'm good Anko-sensei!"
Anko smirked at Naruto. "Good boy."
Naruto winced and leaned towards Shino. "Anko-sensei's scary at times, huh?"
"I heard that brat."
A few minutes later, Naruto kicked the doors to the Hokage's office open.
"JII-SAN! WE'RE READY FOR OUR FIRST MISSION AS AN OFFICIAL TEAM OF KONOHA!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs.
"You are too damn loud brat," Anko said curtly. She smacked him again much to his displeasure. Naruto grumbled and pouted as he rubbed his smarting head. Shikamaru smirked at Naruto's pain.
"You are too troublesome, you know that?"
Naruto simply glared at Shikamaru while Shino hid a small smile. Anko chuckled before turning to the Hokage.
"Just as the brat said, we're here for our first mission Hokage-sama," Anko said respectfully. Hiruzen nodded and pulled out a scroll.
"Ah yes, the first D-rank mission is to clean the kennels of the Inuzuka clan," the Hokage reported. "Tsume will be expecting you."
"Understood Hokage-sama," Anko said.
"Wait a minute! Cleaning? Isn't there any other missions?" Naruto asked. The Hokage nodded.
"Of course. There's delivering the fertilizers to the Yamanaka flower shop. Sanitizing the torture rooms of Ibiki's interrogation chambers. Completing the shopping list for Hatake Kakashi. Delivering food to the-," the Hokage listed but Naruto cut him off.
"So they're just simple chores?" Naruto asked in disbelief. The Hokage nodded.
"Yes they are. They are for-," the Hokage began to explain but Naruto made a hand seal.
Naruto's form was enveloped in a puff of smoke. As the smoke dissipated, a buxom blonde was in Naruto's place, completely nude with thin wisps of smoke hiding her private regions.
"Oooh nooo, my clothes are missing," the blonde moaned.
Hiruzen, Shikamaru, and Shino fell backwards with blood coming from their nose while Anko's eye twitched in irritation. She punched at the blonde. At the last second Naruto replaced himself with the Hokage and jumped out the window.
"NARUTO! GET BACK HERE!"
"Hey guys, we're all on a team here right?" Naruto asked.
"Hai," Shino replied.
"And no hard feelings right?" Naruto asked Shikamaru.
"None whatsoever," Shikamaru said lazily.
"And you're doing this for my own good right, Anko-sensei?"
"Of course. A sensei's duty is to tenderly raise their pupils so they could survive on their own," Anko said sweetly.
"So how come I'm the only one that has to carry over a hundred pounds on my head, stand on a fifty feet pole, surrounded by giant snakes whilst you three throw kunais tagged with explosive tags and fire jutsus?" Naruto wailed. Said snakes hissed and slammed their tails against the pole. The pole wobbled dangerously and Naruto barely managed to keep his balance.
"Well brat," Anko explained. "This is my form of tough love. Now, Shikamaru, Shino, remember that twisting your wrist allows the kunai to fly faster in the air. Got it?"
"Oh c'mon, give me a break!"
"I did. I didn't tie your arms," Anko said curtly. "Now throw on my mark."
"This is gonna suck," Naruto moaned.