- HiaHT -
I awoke when the sun was just peaking over the horizon. Its red glare reflected off the morning dew, blending the colors of the earth into something unrecognizable. It was a beautiful morning; so calm and peaceful. But it was nothing like the emotions boiling inside of me.
For there was a fire inside, searing through my veins. It gave me strength when all I wanted to do was die. This wound, this curse, beneath the surface of my skin would force me to live in a place I so dearly wanted to leave.
But as I thought about the night before, the terror and violence were masked by the sheer splendor of the silver wolf. I felt some emotion for him; some pull inside. And I couldn't deny that I wanted to see him again. I wanted to run by him, freely, underneath the light of the full moon.
- HiaHT -
"Harry!" Hermione's voice screeched when she caught sight of me. And I really couldn't blame her, for I was a mess. My clothes had been torn in various places and blood stained everything. I wasn't bothered by it though. In fact, I enjoyed the sticky feeling upon my skin.
"Yes?" I said, coming to a stop in front of her. I could smell the fear rolling off her in waves.
"What happened to you! Where were you last night? Ron and I were looking everywhere."
Her comment caught me by surprise and I raised an eyebrow. "Were you?" I muttered more to myself. "And why were you doing that?"
"Because… you're our friend, Harry," she said looking flustered. "We care about you. And you're still in danger. Even if V – Voldemort's gone, there are still people after you; people who want revenge. You just need to be careful."
I felt my heart sink. I had thought it had all been over. That, whenever it happened, I could die in peace with the knowledge that everyone was safe. Now though, it seemed as if the danger hadn't passed.
I was still the chosen one and for that reason, I still had to sacrifice. But right now my soul felt so torn. And I felt so old. The curse inside my veins was keeping me alive, for now, but another war would no doubt be the end of me.
As I thought that, I felt the curse pull me toward the silver wolf who was now a man. A sudden vision filled my mind and I saw him, handsome to my eyes. His expression spoke of longing, of peace, of love. He was offering me a place to stay, a place to belong! I had never wanted another thing more.
"Harry, Harry!" Hermione's words broke through the enchantment and I blinked, coming back to my senses. A little piece of me died when I was ripped away from that beautiful face. It simply wasn't fair. But of course, nothing was fair in my miserable life.
"I'm going to bed," I stated suddenly, startling her with the change of topic. "I'm tired and I'd like to be alone. Please don't check on me. I'll be fine."
As I made my way up the stairs, I tried to hide the tears that were streaking my bloodied face.
- HiaHT -
As the weeks passed I felt myself changing. Not only was my body getting stronger, but my thoughts were changing as well. I no longer cared for the company of humans, for I was loved in my dreams.
The silver wolf's call was getting stronger as the light of the moon waned. Each and ever night I could hear him mourn. He was waiting for me. Calling me to come home.
And as time went by, I could feel myself falling in love. The wizarding world became distanced to my eyes, as if from a dream. And my reality became the forest, the moon, and the call.
- HiaHT –
A laugh escaped my lips as I ran through the beauty of the night. I had long ago passed the boundaries of the Burrow and only now, in unknown fields, did I slow. The night had become precious to me. It had become my first taste of freedom and a deep-aching love.
Shivering under the light of the waxing moon, I let my thoughts drift. Tall grasses caressed my bare skin, but I hardly noticed. For in my mind I could see him, the silver wolf watching over me. He made sure I was loved and safe from all harm.
I took a breath and gazed at the stars. Over the last few weeks, the seasons had changed dramatically. And so had I. As the plants became drier and colors began to seep, I had learned to listen to their song. It was ambient magic, I had read long ago. For werewolves had a different kind of magic than wizards. And I had never felt so calm.
This was my reality right now. The human life I used to live was nothing more than a dream. I barely remembered it. Though, there was an aching at the back of my mind. A long-ago promise that still lingered. And I knew what it was.
It was the promise I had made to my parents, to join them in death. To go home. I knew I could end my life at any moment in time. I could turn my wand on myself, slit my wrists. There were countless ways of ending one's life. But still, I didn't want to do it.
For in the last couple of weeks, the curse flowing through my veins had turned into a gift. This was the chance I'd been waiting for. A chance at love and life. And I'd be damned if I gave it up now. Not when I was so close to finding out the purpose of my miserable existence.
Sure I did my part in the war. I rid the world of great evil, but now. Now I wanted to see what else was in store for me. I was curious about the silver wolf. And I wanted to be selfish for the first time in my life! I needed to see where our relationship went, for he was always with me, not only in my dreams.
When the world tilted on its axis and my humanity had been lost, a detached sort of acceptance took its place. I planned to find happiness in the future. There'd be no more fear. At the next full moon, it'd be time to finally accept my fate.
- HiaHT -
I gasped when teeth nipped at the curve of my neck, bringing blood to the surface of my skin. A sweaty body lay on top of me in an act of dominance and love.
Through the surface of my thoughts, I recognized this man as Fenrir Greyback, most feared werewolf of our time, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Through the pleasure and the pain, all I felt was a deep, primitive urge. I wanted him inside of me, now more than ever before.
With a growl, he flipped me onto my stomach and nuzzled in my ear. Calloused hands caressed my backside, preparing me hastily before entering my hole. A sharp pain pierced my body, making me cry out in bliss.
All sense of dream and reality blurred in my mind. Time no longer existed in this place of sensuality and touch. Heavy magic hung in the air around us, bringing with it peace and my first taste of physical love.
- HiaHT -
The next morning, I walked down the stairs of the Burrow, pleased to find my body humming. Images of the night before filled my mind. Even if it had been a dream, I knew the silver wolf had dreamt it too. For we were connected in every way but one.
I longed to go to him with a fierceness that surprised even me. But I knew it was not yet time. For I was still changing as subtly as a cloud changes during a storm. The next full moon, though, I'd be ready.
Stopping on the threshold of the kitchen, I gazed into the room. Its occupants stopped chatting at my arrival and turned to stare. My former friends gazed at me with such an intensity that I felt my head spin. For none of them had even looked at me for so long.
"Harry!" Hermione squeaked, a blush forming on her cheeks. I cringed at the sound and resigned myself to the inevitable: I entered the room.
"You – you look…" she stammered before Ginny interrupted her. "What happened to you?" she asked forcefully, looking me up and down.
I stared at her until she shifted in her seat. "I'm not sure what you mean," I murmured, feeling a smirk pull at my lips.
"Blimey mate! You look… good. And I'm not one to look at blokes, mind you," Ron piped in, glancing at Hermione while he spoke. Hermione didn't seem to notice though. She didn't take her eyes off me.
I, for my part, kept quiet. I knew I had changed dramatically since that fateful night. I no longer looked like a starved boy locked in a cupboard. Lithe muscles now rippled underneath unblemished skin, my hair silkier and midnight black. And my eyes. My eyes had changed the most. Gone was the innocent look about them. Now they were a deeper green in color, the color of mossy dew tinged with amber.
For the first time in my life, I looked healthy. And dangerous. Magic swirled around my form in a lethal manner. There was no way my friends could ignore the changes in the air.
Ginny abruptly rose from her seat and took my hand in her own. I flinched away from her touch, as if I had been burned.
Hurt flashed in her eyes and for some reason I couldn't bring myself to care. Her beauty that had captured my attention before was lost to me now. For my thoughts lingered on the beauty and power of the silver wolf and the silver wolf alone.
"I love you, Harry," she whispered as I took a step away from her. "I'm breaking up with Dean, did you know?" She took a step towards me, ignoring the shocked looks from Ron and Hermione. "You were my first love and no one gets over their first love, really."
"Don't," I said, cutting her off. Disgust rose in me like a bomb waiting to explode.
"Don't," I said again, backing away from her slight form. "You tore my heart out you know. You were almost the death of me. But now… now I see it as a stroke of luck. There'd be no way I'd want to spend my life with you."
Before exiting the room, I turned back to watch a flustered Hermione restrain an angry Ron. Ginny stood where I had left her, hatred burning in her eyes.
"What's wrong with you all?" I questioned softly, my eyes lingering on my former love. "I thought you were my friends. But you've changed. Even more than me."
- HiaHT -
I stood on the outskirts of the forest, gazing into its shadowy depths. I didn't dare enter, for the moon was not yet full. But the voice in my mind was all but screaming at me to forget about the moon and forget about the world. The silver wolf needed me at his side.
The repeated mantra filled my mind, mixing with my tears. I wanted to go so badly, but I held myself back. For I wasn't a full wolf yet. Not until I had transformed. And I wanted to do that on my own so no one could see my pain or taste my fear.
Fear gnawed at my insides, but I pushed it back. I knew that this was what I wanted, more than life itself. I wanted to be part of a pack, but I was frightened that they wouldn't accept me. What if I disappointed them, somehow, when they realized my identity? After all, I had fought against their kind in the war. I wondered how easily they forgave.
But still, after nearly a month of waiting, the time was almost here. Looking towards the sky, I gazed longingly at the moon. Less than twenty-four hours from now, I would finally be free of the life I had once lived. In one day's time, I would finally be home.
'I'm coming,' I thought, projecting the words to the silver wolf. I could feel his relief as a feeling of warmth wrapped around my skin. 'I'm coming. Very soon.'
- HiaHT -
Letting my thoughts linger on the silver wolf, I tried to ignore the impromptu meeting with the minister of magic. Kingsley Shackelbolt had come to the Burrow to speak with the 'golden trio' about a matter of great importance. Peace engulfed my mind until his words cut across my endless daydream like a deadly knife, drowning me in horror.
For he was speaking about a new threat. Witches and wizards across Britain were being slaughtered left and right. He had come, expecting me to take up the mantle once again. After all, I had saved the world once, why couldn't I do it one more time?
"So you see, Mr. Potter," Kingsley finished with feverish excitement, oblivious to my rage. "You could lead us into battle and inspire us all! With the aurors backing you, we could squash this threat before it rises up to meet us."
His words washed over me, numbing me to the core. And with them, memories began to surface, true horrors of my past. I blinked away tears of hatred when the illusions of the world overwhelmed the reality of my mind.
"No," I whispered dangerously, shaking with barely suppressed rage. In the darkest depths of my mind I analyzed the two paths I could walk. One among wizards, where I'd be both honored and slaughtered for my efforts. And the other among the wolves, feared by the world, but loved and free. I had no doubt about which path I would follow.
Speaking to the minister, I made my intentions very clear.
"How could you ask this of me? Don't you think I've sacrificed enough for our world? I've nearly died countless of times. The last being a month ago." Ignoring the startled looks of Kingsley, Ron, and Hermione, I plunged on in the heat of rage.
"Let me tell you now, I'm through being the chosen one. In fact, I'm finished being a wizard! Go find yourself a new savior. This is the last time you'll ever see me."
And with startling ease, I snapped my wand in half. I left the Burrow then, left the wizarding world, left the human world behind. For it was finally time to join my pack.
- HiaHT -
The sun was setting when I paced the outskirts of the forest. My heart hammered in my chest as I gazed upon the first, flickering stars. The heavens were smiling down upon me.
I had waited so long for this moment, but now that it was finally here, I felt an aching sadness. For in my mind, I saw my parents standing before me; Sirius and Remus gazing down at me from afar. I wondered if they'd be disappointed.
For werewolves were looked down upon in society. Remus had always spoken about his hatred of the wolf. But even now, during these last few moments as a human, I couldn't bring myself to care.
I hoped they'd be happy for me. And I would see them again, I knew that fact. One day, hopefully far in the future, I'd be reunited with the ones I loved. But now was an opportunity of a lifetime. It was my one chance to live.
As the sun sank below the horizon and the ghostly moon rose, I braced myself for the pain. For transformations would never be easy. At least, that's what Remus had said.
But even as I prepared, I found myself transforming with alarming ease. Hands became paws and my spine curved to the ground. The transformation was over before it had even begun.
Testing my new strength, I felt powerful. Primitive instincts ruled my mind and all doubt and uncertainty vanished without a trace. I stood, vision sharp in the night, ready to take on the world.
In the depths of the forest I could see eyes, shimmering in the sparse light. The werewolves had come to take me home.
The silver wolf stepped out of the trees first. Moonlight caught his fur in waves, making him more beautiful than I could ever imagine. He moved with grace and ease, a spirit of the most magical nights. Even after a month apart, my heart pounded at the sight of him.
He approached me slowly, caution written in his every step. Some primitive instinct took over then and I bared my throat in submission. He backed away, looking pleased.
While the other wolves were curious, they scattered at the silver wolf's growl. A possessive gleam entered his eyes when he mounted me and bit my neck. A whimper escaped at the contact, but I couldn't bring myself to care. For I knew that this was right. This was where I belonged.
After he claimed me as his, he made his way toward the forest.
'Are you coming?' he asked through our link and I started. I hadn't realized we'd still be able to share each other's thoughts. But I supposed that made sense. After all, we were mates and connected in every way.
'Every way,' my heart sung with pride as I looked upon the one I loved.
Feeling suddenly giddy, I raced toward the trees with my new pack by my side. The shadows around us blurred as we raced through the night, our howls of joy ringing throughout the four corners of the land.
Over hills and through the lochs we went, never stopping to breathe. For we were wild, the untamed forces of this world. Our magic roamed the Earth as she sang her motherly song.
Death turned into life in our wake, I learned, as I watched a wilting flower begin to bloom. So caught up was I in its beauty, that I flinched when a sharp pain shot through my left ear. Only after turning did I see another member of the pack, gazing at me playfully.
With an excited yelp, I wrestled her to the ground. After a last, playful nudge to my side, she resumed running into the night. I joined her, feeling as if I were flying among the stars.
The night seemed to last a lifetime, yet was shorter than a breath. Stopping at the edge of a pond, I gazed into the water with wonder. And saw myself for the first time since I had transformed.
Emerald eyes practically glowed in the night, surrounded by deep black fur. I found myself thinking that I was beautiful. I had never used that word to describe my looks before, but no other seemed to fit.
The silver wolf thought so too as he nuzzled my neck with silent affection. I sighed in contentment and followed him at a slower pace through the trees.
We approached a clearing, bathed in fading moonlight, and settled down. Dawn was fast approaching. Despite my utter exhaustion, I didn't want the night to end. But then I realized that this was my life now. No one would take it away from me again. I could live like this, happily, until the ending of my days.
Lying against the silver wolf's side, I fell asleep almost instantly. My usual nightmares were replaced this night with dreams of fairytales and an undying love.
- HiaHT -
I awoke, surrounded by warmth and strong arms, and leaned into the touch. Never before had I experienced such pleasure. I lay there for some time in the hold of the one I loved, before lifting my head to look around.
The pack, human again, lay around us in a protective circle. And beyond the bodies I saw some kind of wooden structures. 'Houses,' my mind provided for me. This was where we'd live.
Snuggling once again into my mate's embrace, I let my thoughts roam. For it seemed as if luck was finally with me. No matter what awaited me in the future, I would be prepared for it. Prepared for anything with the silver wolf by my side. Because I was loved. And I was finally home.
Thanks for reading! This story was quite fun for me to write. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.