Disclaimer: Nope! I wish! I just own the funny names for the pornish magazines.

NOTE: Arigato Narscisse for beta'ing this! XD

-x-

"Ve~Japan?" Italy giggled, flinging his arms around the shocked Japanese man. "I didn't know you had so much in common with Germany!"

"Italy-san, please remove your hands from my shoulders," He replied quivering under his touch.

"Oh! Sorry! Ve~" The Italian uncoiled his limbs before asking, "What's your favorite kind of porn?"

"Wh-what? Italy-san, I have no idea-"

"Germany's is one with two guys; and guess what! The guys always look like him and me! He hides all his porn in his closet on the highest shelf so I couldn't reach it, but then there was an avalanche and all his books toppled down on me, and then I realized that he reads the same kind of picture books as you do!"

"Italy-san-"

"And they have some positions named after Japan's culture, like the *Itazura Na Dansu and *Sekushii Na Sutorippu!" Italy babbled, not noticing Japan's horrified face.

"Don't talk about that in public," Japan twitched as Russia passed them, starring at them inquisitively.

"O, which magazine are you talking about, da?" The young grey-haired man asked, stepping closer towards the Axis members. "The Paku's House of Porn or Sexy Smutty Sleaze?"

"Actually, Germany has a subscription to Naughty Hotty Homos. Ve~" Italy smiled, directing his attention to the Russian. "I've gotten pretty hooked on it my self. My favorite is Yummy Honey. Oh, what's your's Japan? You've never told me."

"Um...Ammphm Fnmg..."

"What? Speak louder, da?" Russia smiled, stepping closer to the smaller nation.

"Allmmpm Fmg..."

"Huh? Ve~"

"Alliance Fun!" Japan shouted. His eyes widened as he slammed his hands over his mouth, blushing.

"...You mean like the Alliances, like America and Canada?" Russia asked, eyes also widening.

"Yes."

"Oh, China is in there, da?" He smirked, his violet eyes twinkling.

"Hai. I have the latest issue in my bag-"

Russia snatched Japan's bag off his shoulder and grabbed the December issue that hid at the bottom. Flipping it to a page, his skimmed the contents until he found what he was looking for, smiling deviously. The two other nations could see the cover, which was America leaning against a Christmas tree in a black thong with a red bow plopped on his blonde curls, smiling slyly.

"Oh...yes..." Russia moaned, already developing an erection. "I know who's house I'm going to be at tonight, da." His greedy eyes soaked up the lustful image. China laid on his side, his brown hair slightly messy, and his green robe parted giving Russia an eyeful of pleasure.

"Say, Japan?" Italy backed away from the largest nation. "I heard there was this Porno Convention-"

"Boobs, Beer, and Butts?"

"Yes, Ve~ Me and Germany are going, but he's just going to check out the sexy guy models. Do you want to come?"

"Sure," Japan smiled as the two nations walked away from the erected Russia, prattling about the sexy (guy) models.

-x-

*The Naughty Dance

*The Sexy Strip