I've never done a SongFic before. I figured...why not?

Will the real Fic Ranma please stand up?

May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please. Will the real Fic Ranma, please stand up? Will the real Fic Ranma please stand up?

You all act like you never seen a fanFiction before! Jaws all on the floor like Ranma when Akane burst in the door, and started whoopin his ass, first and before he tries to explain, kickin him over Nerima.

It's the return of the...Oh wait. No wait, yer kidding! He didn't just say what I think he did? Did he? And Takahashi said, nothing you idiots! Takahashi's dead, she's locked in my basement!

Venomous women love Ranma, Yappapa Yappapa, lookit him walkin around tryin ta kick some ass, tryin ta get more girls.

Aiya! Is so cute though!

Yeah, I probly got a couple of fiancees, but no worse than what's goin on in Akane's bedroom.

[Ernk! Ernk!]

Sometimes I wanna go on a date and just let loose, but I can't, but it's okay for Mousse to hug a statue. [Shampoo!]

Her chest is on my lips, her chest is on my lips. I'm unlucky and can't even give it a little kiss! That's the message that I deliver to my fiancee's and they expect me to not know what a woman's clitoris is!

Of course I'm gonna know what it is, o'course I know what it is! By the time I hit volume nine, I got four friggin fiancee's don't I?

We ain't nuthin but teenagers, well some of us old men, who try and force me to have sex with violent tomboys; but if Mousse can hug a statue, and there's no reason me and Ryoga can't elope. [Yetch!] But if ya feel like I feel I got the antidote, when Minotaur's wearin pantyhoes sing the chorus and it goes...

I'm Fic Ranma, yes I'm the real Ranma! All you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating! So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up? Cause I'm Fic Ranma yes I'm the real Ranma, all you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating. So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up?

Tenchi Masaki don't gotta be a man to get women, well I do, so fuck him and fuck you to. Ya think I give a damn about Akane? Half the authors can't even stomach her, let alone stand her.

But Ranma, what if you're crossed over? Wouldn't it be weird?

Why? So you guys can just overpower me just to get me here? So you can sit me here next to Lina Inverse? Yoko Mano better switch me chairs. So I can sit next to Tenchi Masaki and Shinji Ikari, and listen to em argue over who Nabiki Tendo gave head too first! Little bitch put me on blast at Furinkan High.

Kuno-chan, set of five, three thousand yen! Tee hee!

I should download an audio on MP3, and show the world how she gave Ataru Moroboshi VD.

I'm sick of all you crazy martial aritst, way of tea indeed! I have been sent here to destroy you!

And there's a million Fics with Ranma's just like me, who pimp like me, who just don't give a fuck like me, who dress like me eat, sleep, and fight like me. And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

I'm Fic Ranma, yes I'm the real Ranma! All you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating! So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up? Cause I'm Fic Ranma yes I'm the real Ranma, all you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating. So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up?

It's like a head-trip to get hit by her, cause I'm only given her things no one else will say to her. The only difference is, I got the balls ta say it in front of her, and I don't gotta be false or sugar coat it at all. I just just get in her face and spit it, and whether you like to admit it, I just shit it better than ninety percent of you authors out there. Then you wonder how can kids eat up these fanFics like pocky?

It's funny, cause at the rate I'm goin, I'll be the only guy who's really a girl when I'm thirty. Pinchin guy's asses while I'm flirtin, and this whole gang of fiancee's is still cryin.

Inside of everyone is a Fic Ranma lurkin, he could be workin at Burger King, hitin on the bitches there; or in the parkin lot screamin, "Hey! Ya wanna fuck?" With his fiancee's sleeves rolled up and her temper up.

So will the real Fic Ranma please stand up, and put one of those fingers on each hand up? [Kuso] And be proud to be out of your mind and outa control! One more time, how does it go?

I'm Fic Ranma, yes I'm the real Ranma! All you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating! So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up? Cause I'm Fic Ranma yes I'm the real Ranma, all you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating. So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up? I'm Fic Ranma, yes I'm the real Ranma! All you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating! So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up? Cause I'm Fic Ranma yes I'm the real Ranma, all you other Fic Ranma's are just imitating. So won't the real Fic Ranma please stand up, please stand up?

Heh. Guess there's a Fic Ranma in all of us. Fuck it, let's all stand up...