Disclaimer: I own nothing but the situation I have put these characters in. The title of this piece was inspired by the beautiful song by Box Car Racer, which I also do not own.
[Quick Justifying A/N: I know. I haven't fully finished "Cataclysm" yet. I'm having a small case of writer's block but fret not: I know where I want to go with it and what I want to do. It's a matter of getting there. I'm working on it, but in the meantime, I found this little half-finished story among the many, many unfinished N/CC stories I have on my computer. So I sat down and finished it and I'm giving it to all you lovelies. I'm going to post the chapters all at once because I don't think it's a very great story, but I enjoyed writing it. So I hope that you'll at least somewhat enjoy reading it.]
CC Babcock stood in the vestibule of the Sheffield mansion, tapping her foot impatiently. She rapped her knuckles on the wrought iron, peering in the glass. Spotting Fran's bushy hair over the edge of the sofa and Niles standing in rapt attention, she knew they were busy watching television. She sighed and pushed open the door, hanging up her own coat in the closet.
"Hello, hello?" she greeted in annoyance. Fran wiggled her fingers and Niles made an impassive noise. "Nice to see you all, too. Things at the theater are going great, thank you for asking."
The screen faded to black, signaling a switch to commercial, and Fran pivoted to face CC. "Hiya, Miss Babcock."
"Oh, it's you," Niles said. "I knew I smelled something."
"Just the stench of failure emanating from your big bones, Butler Boy," CC volleyed back. "Speaking of, you're shirking your responsibilities. I had to let myself in today."
"Well, you've been well trained with the doggy door. I'm sure it didn't pose too much of an issue," Niles replied, shrugging.
"Sorry, Miss Babcock," Fran interjected before their game of verbal ping-pong went much further. Fran found it too difficult to get anyone's attention after that happened. "We were watchin' a soap."
"I guessed as much," CC said. "What's happening this week? Triplets with three different fathers? Brain transplant? Someone come back from the dead only to be murdered by their evil twin?"
"No but…ya know, Miss Babcock, you've got some great ideas," Fran said, looking at CC closely. "Maybe you should produce soap operas instead!"
"Yes, then maybe someone would watch something you produced," Niles deadpanned.
"Anyway, Miss Babcock, this week Charlotte is going on a date with Spike. Yesterday she did her hair; today, she's putting on her shoes," Fran explained.
"Spike? I thought she was with Turbo," CC questioned.
"She was, but she fell down an elevator shaft and Spike nursed her back to health," Fran said.
"Bounced back quickly," CC remarked.
"It's those buoys in front that really helped," Fran quipped, cupping her hands in front of her chest.
"Mm hmm," Niles murmured, staring off dreamily. CC glared at him quickly and turned back to Fran.
"But really, Nanny Fine, these are so unrealistic," CC said. "Women don't move from man to man so quickly."
"The pretty ones do," Niles said, sneering while he looked CC up and down. CC smacked his arm. "As do the nonviolent ones," Niles continued, rubbing his arm with a pout.
The kitsch music returned, signaling that the soap was coming back. CC rolled her eyes and continued on into the office to resume working.
Fran stood in the hallway, biting her pointer finger nervously. Max had taken to the kitchen for a snack and she knew she only had a bit before he returned. Steeling herself, Fran pushed open the office door and shut it behind her.
"Hi, Miss Babcock," Fran greeted.
CC didn't look up from her contracts as she replied, "Nanny Fine."
"Do you remember the conversation we had about dating and how women don't get men that easily?" Fran asked.
CC peered at Fran over the legal documents. "It was more a remark from me than an actual conversation but yes, I remember. Considering it was 22 minutes ago."
"Anyhoo, do you really think that? That a woman can't get a guy that quickly?" Fran asked.
"Yes…" CC said suspiciously. "Why?"
"Well…the thing is…it really isn't that difficult," Fran told her. "Especially for girls like us."
"Us? Nanny Fine, you're always complaining about not having anyone," CC said.
"That's because I'm waiting around for a certain someone," Fran replied dismissively. "But you could get someone easily, Miss Babcock."
CC rolled her eyes. "Did Niles put you up to this? I don't need any help."
"No, he didn't," Fran said sincerely.
CC looked toward the intercom and shook her head. "Whatever, Nanny Fine. You've never offered to help me before."
"Mr. Sheffield's in the kitchen having a nosh," Fran told her. "Niles never sits on the intercom when he's around."
"Why would you want to help me?"
That, Fran was not sure of. She and CC had never been particularly close. Fran supposed that if CC found a boyfriend, she'd stop pretending to be in love with Max, and that daily annoyance would be out of Fran's life.
"I don't know, Miss Babcock. I'm bored. And if I can't use my feminine wiles for myself right now, I might as well pass the torch onto someone else."
CC eyed Fran. While she couldn't necessarily snag Mr. Sheffield, Fran had always had a steady stream of boyfriends. She never failed to get a man's attention, and the only man who ever paid attention to CC when it wasn't business-related was Niles. Squinting her nose, CC looked at Fran.
"So what exactly are you suggesting?" CC wanted to know.
"I'll just give you some tips, maybe go shopping, and then we can go out. I guarantee you'll find someone," Fran declared.
What the hell, CC thought. She had nothing to lose, really, and rubbing her boyfriends in Niles' face was always worth a laugh or two. "All right, Nanny Fine. You've got a deal."