A/N: I don't know how this came about, though I'm pretty sure it's the first Izaya x Anri on here. I apologize in advance if they seem OOC - this is kind of a crack couple, I think... Can't remember which set of themes this is, but when I remember I'll put it on here. Too tired to look now! D:

Either way, if you're reading it, then I hope you like it?

I don't own Durarara.



The air that surrounds the informant is dark and suffocating despite his merry grin, even to her alert yet detached self; she readies the katana inside of her sleeve - just in case.


Anri tries to ignore the unwanted companion she's picked up on her way to the grocery store, but it gets harder and harder, especially when she picks up an apple and he swipes it from her and takes an obnoxious bite - "You're paying for that, Orihara-san."


Even Izaya isn't entirely sure at what point he decided to try to woo Sonohara Anri; but if he has to take a guess, he'd say it's because if he has Sonohara Anri under his thumb, an army comes with her.


If Anri is truly the parasite she thinks she is, then Orihara Izaya surely must be grade A pesticide; the perfect mix of deadliness designed purely to eradicate her worthless existence.


Even though Anri's in his office pointing Saika at him oh so close, even though her grip is unwavering and eyes red and steely, Izaya still asks her if she would like some coffee; with cream or sugar or both?


"We'd have beautiful children, Anri-chan; they'd have our lovely dark hair-" he says, then frowns, "Then again, you technically have a lot of children... and most of them aren't cute at all!"


She knows his ways, or at least she thinks she does; at the most, she knows that next to humans, seeing them in irreparable despair comes in second place.


The myriad of doors inside that thumping, beating organ in his chest - the ones that he has never opened before, sometimes he can hear them slowly creaking open when he sees her smile with that fake, taut curve of her lips.


There is nothing she can absorb from him, nothing to drink from him like the parasite she is; and although it's odd that she is still hangs around someone who has nothing for her to gain, that might be the exact reason why she does.


She doesn't know what her duty is, or if she even has one; but if she does, it's going to be joined by a new one that she's eloquently labeled Resist Resist Resist - resist him.


The world chose to cast its cold eye on Sonohara Anri - and of course it bothers her she cannot feel like a normal person does, but it does a little less now when she begins to see that he cannot either.


Despite the bizarre companionship they've got themselves in, Anri knows everything will come to an end at one point; she has a good idea of it, of her being worse off than she was before - with both a physical and figurative dirty knife lodged in her back.


By the time autumn comes around, Anri finds that maybe she doesn't mind his company too much; when Izaya shows up at her door complaining and whining about his boredom, it doesn't really bother her until he excitedly asks to see Saika.


Even in the dim streetlight flickering above their heads, those crimson eyes of hers look like a sunset on fire; and Izaya, well - he's never been one to be scared of a burn or two.


Anri finds herself wondering how he became so agile and flexible; surely, one must have a lot of practice in order to bend and twist and dodge and slice and simply escape so easily as he does.


Anri witnesses another altercation between Heiwajima Shizuo and Izaya, and the latter goes flying into the air; even though she knows he probably did something to deserve it, she still feels a pang of concern beating in her chest.


One day while she's talking with the others on the Dollars chatroom, a PM comes through from Kanra; it says, [Come get some ootoro with me, Saika-san~] and though her first reaction is to either politely decline or click out, her fingers tell him agree against her own accord.


He's stirring up trouble with the people she tries to hold close again; to her dismay and almost indistinguishable disgust, she's defeated on the ground after their fight, staring at his feet - she expects him to finish her off, but Anri just watches as his shoes casually tread off into the darkness.


"You're digging your own grave, Orihara-san," she tells him, with a blank yet definite tone in her voice, and he smiles when he sees the sharp tip of Saika begin to slide out - he's actually pleased that she has not caved in to him completely, like most everyone else.


She was not a green, naive person when it came to the way men could be, but Izaya doesn't seem to want the same thing Nasujima-sensei did, or her father - it isn't her body, it isn't an outlet for anger, it's something she does not think she can ever comprehend.


His heart cannot keep up with his head; his head is full of things and plans and all sorts of ways to cause dischord, but it's the strangest, most interesting thing he's ever encountered - he thinks that when he's around her, his heart might actually be catching up.


Her heart has withered and decayed into nothing but an empty, barren space; nothing can grow there in that dead soil, but she has taken notice that the informant has a way of defying the odds.


"Even thieves have honor, Anri-chan," he tells her with both hands in his pockets, head cocked disarmingly to the side - but Anri knows better; that he's not a thief, he's Orihara Izaya, and that's an even worse thing to be.


In the dark recesses of her heart, she sort of hopes that one day she'll actually be able to love someone instead leech off of them - it is something she will never say aloud, but Izaya somehow calls her out on it anyway during one of his personal psycho analysis tests in that annoying, nonchalant manner of his.


After Izaya wakes up from being knocked out, in an unfamiliar room and body aching from the latest fight with that blond protozoan, he realizes there is a light at the tunnel; and oddly enough, when he squints his eyes, it looks like Sonohara Anri.


"I think I know what's wrong with you, Orihara-san," she tells him ever so seriously one day, "I think that maybe... maybe you're just as lost as I am."


Metal clangs against metal, a tiny blade against a long and thin one, and Izaya taunts her as they grate against each other, "Saika, Saika~ Still not fast enough!"


He's started up a brand new "hobby": lately, when Anri locks her door behind her and sets off for school, Izaya will be standing there to walk right along with her with a smirk on his face and a wave.


This routine of theirs is getting old, the routine consisting of him pestering her, which led to her being extremely polite and trying to get him to go away; But ah, he thinks with certainty, something's going to give eventually.


Something is amiss in this time period of peace she has, walking home from school with Mikado and going home to do nothing but be by herself, and she realizes it's because of the lack of the informant meddling in her life.


His words flow so smoothly from his lips despite the venomous meanings lying underneath, and she tells herself that she is immune, it's just the way she has bred herself; but still, she almost thinks she might be starting to become susceptible to side effects.


"You're kinda pretty for a human, Anri-chan," Izaya grins cheekily and says to her one day, and even though the words come from him, she can't help the obligatory blush that comes over her cheeks as he begins to mock her for it.


It starts raining cats and dogs when Anri walks home from school, so when an umbrella appears over her head, she looks up - "Forget your umbrella, Saika?" and she thinks she'd rather get rained on.


Anri thinks back to that confrontation at the park when she approached him, and regrets that she was not fast enough to take him down and wipe off the smirk that itches at the heart she doesn't have.


"Mother said to stop sending her flowers immediately," says a big, hulking thug with glazed over eyes; Izaya just grins, and thinks to himself that he'll definitely make sure to send two bouquets next time.


Hidden inside one of the many alleys in the city, Izaya watches Anri blush and stutter a response to Shizuo, who after saving her from a bunch of thugs, says he doesn't remember her; deep down inside, he secretly feels a bit jealous and thinks that he knows both her name and that she can save herself perfectly fine.


Izaya's going on another rambling tangent that still manages to be eloquent, and she can't help but listen to him despite her dislike for him; something about the way he speaks - the words that comes to mind are snake charmer.


She feels something ice cold get shot at her back, and there's the culprit with gleaming dark eyes, another snowy projectile in his hand.


There's a solid wall in place, made up of bricks and cement and anything strong; yet somehow, somehow Izaya has a way of slowly chipping down mountains.


Anri stops to admire the the cherry blossoms - she was only going to stay for a minute or so - and she ends up sitting with the informant (after he pops up in that odd way of his) for over a strange half hour.


With a rare frown on his face, Izaya realizes that seeing the Saika girl is becoming an occurance; something about that irks him, and even though he decides to get a new hobby, he still ends up seeking her out after two days.


It's odd, really; by now, she's almost becoming accustomed to his popping up everywhere - if that isn't strange enough, now that she is getting used to it, he goes and makes himself scarce and as hard to find as a needle in a haystack.


"Anri-chan, Anri-chan! My air conditioner broke, it's so terribly hot~" is his reply when she opens the door, and he waltzes right inside and perches himself directly in front of the fan she had been enjoying.


It isn't like she has parents to reprimand her for hanging out with a shady guy like Orihara Izaya, but she still gets the unshakable feeling she's doing something terribly wrong and forbidden.


Izaya's exterior is certainly handsome, but his inside is repugnant and hideous; but she still can't help but wonder if he has some tiny redeeming quality of decency that lies deep, deep down.


She hates him for starting this war, for distressing and endangering the people she tentatively calls friends - and most of all, for having her be an unwilling key player in the battle of Ikebukuro he's already set into motion.


During gym class, when Anri surfaces from the pool, she hears someone call her - and there's Izaya standing behind the chain link fence; of course, the first words from his mouth are, "Nice swimsuit, Anri-chan~"


Anri doesn't know what it is that makes her a magnet for thugs, but Izaya comes out of nowhere and defuses the situation with a few swipes of his flickblade and those demeaning words of his - and even though she has not said thank you, he smirks at her and says you're welcome anyway.


The months fly by, and Izaya still follows her around; only this time last year, she certainly wouldn't have lent him a scarf so he doesn't catch cold - and to his credit (even though it's a light, girly pink), he doesn't make a face, and just prances out while rubbing it on his face and grinning.


Sonohara Anri might be nothing more than an empty sack of flesh compared to everyone else - but she refuses to be constructed of the same wood as the rest of his marionettes, the ones he can so easily controls with naught but a twitch of his fingers.

A/N: Yeah, I really really really don't know where this came from. Please review if you've read it though, and let me know what you think! Pretty please. :D