A/N: So tada! SaintJesus SLASH songfic!

Hope you enjoy!

Song is "Everything" by Lifehouse. I love how I took a song about God and made it into a SaintJesus fic. XD


Disclaimer: I don't own AI or the song!

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you

"What do you want me to tell you, Jimmy? I'm gone. And no. I won't be coming back. You can persuade me all you want but it's not working." I just yelled, ready to walk out. I'd never seen him so upset before. Actually, I've never seen him upset in general.

"Just remember." He practically sobbed. "Everything."

I shook my head and grabbed my bags. "I'm done with this…" And I left.

But I did remember.


You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

I remember being so naïve. Coming into the city thinking I'd find this great escape from my shitty life. I couldn't afford a room anywhere after Tunny left. I was alone.

But then he came.

I was alone at the bar, figuring that I'd spend my last few bucks getting wasted and hoping for the best. There was a huge crowd assembling towards the back of the room. I saw a few people from it rush over to the bar and place an order for a ton of drinks for the entire group.

"What's going on over there?" I asked one of them.

He just started laughing, obviously really drunk or high already. The other one just gave him a stern glare.

"He's being serious, Theo."

The first one, Theo, just rolled his eyes. "New kid?"

"Uh, yeah…" I responded, not knowing how else to.

"That's St. Jimmy."

I looked around at these two like they were crazy. "Saint?"

"Call him over here…" Theo whispered to the other guy, who immediately called for this supposed saint.

Within seconds, I was greeted by a tall, slender figure, all in black. His tattoos and piercings giving him the look of a natural born punk. His jet black hair fashioned in a neat sidehawk, and his green eyes lingering on me.

"So…you're new." He said with a devious smirk.

"Y-Yeah…" I stuttered, feeling like an idiot.

"You have a name, kid?"

"It's Johnny."

He smirked even more and guessed right off the bat. "You have a place to stay?" I quickly shook my head no. "Perfect."

That was how I met St. Jimmy.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.

Ever since I moved in with Jimmy I was shooting up daily, going out nightly. I knew this wasn't what I wanted out of this city, but I was having fun, that's all I cared about.

My first time shooting up was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I had no idea what to expect out of it. But Jimmy said to trust him, so I did. He grabbed my arm and began to search for a vein, soon finding one and sticking me with the syringe. I'd done drugs before. I've popped my parents' pills, I've smoked pot, I snorted coke once. But nothing hit me like the dope did.

My body didn't know how to handle it, causing me to shake. I knew I shouldn't be feeling like this and I was nervous. He looked over at me, shaking like a leaf. Sighing, he came to my side, wrapping his arm around me, whispering that it would be ok. I never felt so safe before.

You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

Now as I walk out, I can't help but to smile, remembering those times. The times when all I had to care about was if I had enough drugs or alcohol in my system and a sexy girl in my bed. But now I realized that I did none of that for me….but for him. Everything I did was for him.

I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to accept me. And I would stop at nothing til I got there.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.

I came in after a night of partying with Theo. Jimmy had stayed home, meaning he and some girl were having some sort of sexual escapade in our bed and he wanted me drunk so I wouldn't take it as badly as I would when I was sober. But I walked into the apartment and there he was, half-asleep on the couch.

"Jimmy!" I shouted, so drunk that I didn't care if I woke up the entire building.

"Hmmm?" he groaned, his eyes half-opened now.

"I met a girl!" He closed his eyes and turned his back to me. "What? Are you jealous?"

"No…I just don't care."

"Of course you do."

He turned back around and just smirked. "Ok, maybe I do. Who is she?"

"I don't know…but we met and she said she wants to get to know me better."

He just burst out laughing, beckoning me to come closer. "Dude, that means she wants to fuck you!"



I stopped and looked around cautiously before quietly asking, "What if she's just using me?"

"Then I will hunt her down and teach her a lesson." He said in all seriousness. "That'll teach that whatsername to mess with my Johnny Cakes."

"What?" I laughed, wondering where that even came from.

He didn't even answer, the both of us just broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

I remember when everything started….

I left Whatsername. I left her for Jimmy.

I never realized it before, but I was so drawn to him. So infatuated with him. I loved him. We'd occasionally made out when we were both drunk and stoned. But that was nothing to him. It meant everything to me.

But this time, we were both sober. We were getting ready for bed and of course there was only one bed in the whole apartment. I sat there in bed worrying about whether this was the right thing to do or not. He just jumped in, reclining right away and looking over at me.

"You ok, Johnny Cakes?"

I nodded and just muttered, "Yeah…"

"Look, if it's about Whatsername…."

"It's not…." I took a huge breath in and admitted. "It's about…you."


I didn't need to say anything else. I just kissed him. I had no idea why I did that. I just felt like I had to. We pulled away as suddenly as we had come together. This was it. I ruined everything. It was my stupid fault.


"I'm sorry!" I apologized immediately. "I don't what that-!"

"Johnny." He hushed me, looking straight into my eyes. "It's ok. It's cool."


He rolled his eyes, not feeling like explaining. But his lips were soon against mine again. He kissed me and kissed me and kissed me…I could feel his tongue in my mouth. I didn't know why that surprised me so much. I've had dozens of open mouth kisses before…but nothing like this. Nothing ever compared to this.

His hands flew straight to my shirt, slowly undoing each button as if to tease me. I found myself emitting a moan from nowhere. "Oh, Jimmy…" He just kept doing what he was doing, kissing my neck now. "Jimmy…" I grabbed onto his shirt tightly having such a girlish orgasm. "Please…" Was it sad to say that I was begging for him to fuck me?

But he pulled away and smirked evilly, probably more evil than ever before. "You're adorable…"

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Life from that point on was just a mess. We began a sort of relationship. We loved each other. We love each other's company. It was just…blissful. But for some reason, I wasn't feeling as happy. I missed what I used to have …a home, my friends, everything….

I packed my things and waited for him to come home…He walked through the door to find me there.

"Hey…what's going on?"

I just sighed… "Goodbye, Jimmy"

And now I'm gone. He's out of my life. I can start anew….

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.

But I couldn't. I needed him.

I did remember. I remembered everything. Everything was him.

He's my everything.

I want him. I need him.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around. I ran. Just ran. Ran until I was back at the loft, bursting through the doors and crying in his arms.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

"I-I'm s-so sorry…I-I never mean a-anything…"

His arms surrounded me as well, holding me so close to him. "It's ok…I understand…."

"N-No….I was such an asshole to you!"

"It's ok, Johnny Cakes…" he whispered, using my pet name and kissing my cheek, hoping to settle me down.

I held on tighter to him, resting my head on his shoulder, whispering, "You're everything to me…I love you…"

Although I never would've expected him too, his whispered back, "I love you too…"

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

A/N: SaintJesus is love.