Learning, the Hard Way

I am a total Lily and Ben shipper already but for some reason when I sat down to write this piece, Ryan's POV surged into the consciousness of my muse's mind. I hope you all like it. Remember to watch Off the Map or DVR it and tell your friends to do the same because honestly with the low-rung ratings it has so far, I am seriously worried for this show's longevity. As much as I love fan fic, I love actually seeing the TV show so much better!

She really hadn't meant to spy on them - that hadn't been her intention anyway when she walked down the short hallway; she had actually come to see Mina and settle their little one-sided feud - but when she heard Ben's distinctive, accented voice, she did not walk in but yet she couldn't walk away either.

Instead she leaned closer. She wasn't normally an eavesdropper, a lurker at the door, someone who hid themselves away, but this time she couldn't help it.

Ben said all the right things and did all the right things inside that room. But then he always did. At least, initially. He had once been just like this with Ryan too.

She leaned in still closer, this time peeking at them. Once again, she was unnoticed. She saw the way Ben was smiling ever-so-slightly in that heart melting way only he could. Except now the smile was all for the baby doctor he called "Brenner". She noted the way Lily smiled back and then the way her smile fell away when she talked off her fiancé's unexpected death.

"Smile. Don't kill anyone". Those words would haunt Ryan for a good while at least. Now Lily and Ben shared something; they had a secret between them. Lily had shared just enough of her tragic past to really (even unintentionally) reel Ben in. And Ben, himself... Well, somehow he made the act of removing anaconda teeth from Lily's arm look both sinfully sexy and like a sonnet or a love letter he had scribed just for Lily.

Ryan sighed softly and then turned and slowly moved away. She shouldn't be hurt; she had sworn up and down that Ben didn't have that power over her anymore, but she was no good at lying, especially to herself.

She figured she would be back in Ben's bed eventually - she always ended up back there - but she wouldn't have his heart. Lily would. At least a portion of it. Because the past would always haunt Ben.

The truth was though that Lily had no idea what she was blindly walking into and Ryan had no intention of telling her. Let her learn the hard way just like Ryan had had to...