SUMMARY: Poor Harry. All he wanted to do was play with his dragon. Maybe next time he'll learn to turn on the light. Harry/Draco Humor fic.

Night Time Errors

Harry wanted to die. Yes, that right, you heard correctly. The great Savior of the wizarding world wanted to die a nice, quick, painless death in order to put an end to his suffering. Whether it was by way of a curse or a Muggle gun shot to the chest, he didn't care. Anything was better than dealing with the horribly embarrassing situation that he now found himself in.

It was a rather pitiful sight indeed. He was grabbing his own hair, pulling it hard as if he were a mad man all the while mumbling incoherently and panting in near hysteria.

Why was he doing this?

He wanted so desperately for this to be a dream. He wanted to wake up in Draco's arms and forget that this whole nightmare had ever happened.

Sadly, for all of his musings and talking's of gibberish and hair pulling Harry Potter was not dreaming. The horror that he was experiencing were very, very real.

He sat on the bathroom floor, his knees curled into his chest and doing his best not to cry or hex himself to death. His face was on fire, his nerves were making his stomach lurch and contract painfully in despair.

This could not be happening!

His in-laws were going to kill him or at the very least hate him for as long as they lived and would probably haunt him from their graves.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have not noticed the difference immediately?

Ugh! This would never have happened if they had just stayed home and shagged all fucking night like he wanted to instead of being guilt tripped into spending the holiday at the Manor by her. Stupid mothers and their damn need to see their children. Couldn't she just get a dog and leave him and his husband alone?

"Harry dear, are you going to stay in here all night warming the floor with your arse? Because I could think of far more intriguing and deliciously sinful things that I could do to it."

Ignoring the blond that stood above him with an amused grin on his face, Harry gave him a none too friendly gesture before returning to his pervious ramblings.

Fucking Malfoy.

His bastard of a husband was actually laughing at his humiliation when the situation at hand was anything but funny.

He huffed in annoyance when a low chuckle was the only response that he received.

So much for being a loving, supportive husband.

"Look at it this way, you've gained a new friend in father. You always said that you wanted him to like you and accept you as his son, now you've gotten your wish. Not only does he like you, but I think he down right fancies you love. Should I be jealous? You and father won't run away together now, will you?"

Harry groaned and more laughter followed. If he didn't love Draco's cock so much, he'd hex it away and only leave him with his twins as a parting gift.

"This is not funny you fucking prat! I will never be able to look your father in the eye again! I was lucky that your mother didn't hex me to death!" He sighed and threw his hands in the air dramatically before adding "Ok, maybe she should have. That way I would never have to see either one of them again."

"It's not hat bad Harry. Although mother was a little upset. I supposed I would be too, but it's not like she doesn't understand. Father is rather handsome. I don't blame you for your curiosity."

"Go to hell Malfoy! You know good and damn well that this was an accident! I thought it was you! Damn this place and all of it's confusing doors! Not to mention the fact that it was dark as all bloody hell in there! Don't you people believe in candles?"

"Yes dear. It was the big mean old house playing tricks on you that caused this whole scandal. Perhaps it has swallowed the spirit of the Dark Lord just to play dirty little tricks on you." He wore a serious expression as he walked over to the wall and slapped it hard. "Bad house, very bad house. Stop being mean to my Harry."

The blond Slytherin chose that moment to double over in a very non Malfoy-ish way, laughing hysterically, completely unaware of the daggers that Harry's green eyes were sending his way.

Harry could take no more of this ridicule. He stomped off to the bedroom, prepared to pack his things and go home when he noticed the elder Malfoy standing in front of the fire place.

He looked perfect of course. His hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and he wore black silk pajamas that mirrored his sons. He posed nonchalantly as if there was no cause for alarm and he was just stopping by to say good night before retiring for the evening.

He blushed profusely as he remembered the scene just an hour ago with him sliding under the covers in the darkened room that he thought belonged to his husband as a child. The sucking of a cock that was just a bit larger than what he remembered Draco being.

The sound of a door opening and the horror of hearing Narcissa's shriek of surprise when her wand illuminated the room. She was not used to seeing a rather large lump of something between her husband's thighs in her bed because she was usually the lump under the covers!

He shuddered at the memory and turned his attention back to Lucius.

Within seconds his gaze landed on Harry who gulped instantly, the weight of the man's stare freezing him in place. The gazed didn't give off a single clue as to what the elder man was feeling or thinking. It was the same stoic stare that he had always given him. Suddenly he cleared his throat.

"I came to inform you that you needn't fear any harsh course of action from myself or Narcissa. I believe that I have calmed her down enough to where she may only glare at you for a while. My wife is rather possessive and does not want anyone other than herself to have certain…information about…me."

Harry gulped and turned bright red. Lucius either didn't care or chose not to acknowledge it.

"Thank you Sir. I am so sorry about the uh…confusion. It will never happen again."

Harry nearly choked on the air around him when he noticed a smirk, much like Draco's, appearing on his face.

"That is most regrettable. At least now I know why Dragon married you."

Before Harry could say anything the man made his way towards the door with a graceful wave of his hand.

"Good night gentlemen."

Once Lucius was gone he felt Draco's arms wrap tightly around his waist, pulling his body against his husband's bare chest. Soft lips planted kisses on his neck, hitting a very sensitive spot which made the raven haired man shiver.

Those same lips made it to his ear just as a lust filled voice whispered "Should I consider father my competition now?"

"Shut up you bastard." Harry responded as he sent an elbow into the blonds ribs, however Draco never faltered.

Instead he only turned him around in his arms and kissed him until their lungs were on fire from lack of oxygen. When they pulled apart the blond continued his assault, kissing every part of other that he could reach as he backed them both up until the back of Harry's knees hit the bed. They both went down, clothes disappearing onto the floor within seconds.

"Looks like I'm going to have to re-mark my territory," Draco spoke in a husky whsiper before continuing with a smirk "and just so you know, I don't like to share. Never have."

Harry's laugh was swallowed by Draco's mouth as their lips instantly reconnected.

However, Draco pulled away abruptly with a look of pure disgust on his beautiful face.

Harry was worried.

Had he done something wrong besides molesting his husband's rather well endowed father?

Not that Draco was lacking mind you.

Shit, what was wrong with him?

Shaking his head he looked up questioningly at Draco.

"What is it sweetheart?"

The blond swallowed hard and his face went from disgust to ghost white to horrified.

"For the love of Merlin Harry, please tell me that you brushed your teeth?"