Title: Wanted: Teenage Slayer (Medical and Dental Plan Available)
Characters: Quinn Fabray / Rachel Berry
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I can dream right?
Summary: "When Quinn was a child standing in front of her class talking about what she wanted to do when she grew up many things had come to the young blonde's mind."
Spoilers: None, totally AU.
When Quinn was a child standing in front of her class talking about what she wanted to do when she grew up many things had come to the young blonde's mind. Doctor, lawyer – Queen of the world was her favourite, but of course she said that she wanted to be just like her mommy and have a husband – that was what was expected. Queen of the world was still her top choice though.
The last thing she pictured doing was being caught up with demons, monsters and Ms Pillsbury. At sixteen Quinn Fabray found out the life changing news that she was a vampire Slayer; things had gone steadily downhill from there. Not that she was bitter...much.
Fate was cruel, not just because unlike every other teenager Quinn couldn't spend nights with her friends at parties, but was instead wandering around the many cemeteries of Lima – no fate was cruel because somehow Ms Pillsbury was her Watcher. While the guidance counselor tried hard to lead her Slayer, Quinn couldn't help but think she'd be better off on her own – what good is a Watcher if they can't even pick up a stake without wearing gloves? Or panics at even the thought of confrontation?
Quinn could possibly handle this, being a Slayer with a useless Watcher who spent more time mooning after Mr Schuster and less giving useful advice on demons; after all it meant she got away with slacking on her training. Fate however wasn't just cruel, fate was a bitch because of all the people to be a supernatural being in Lima, of all the people for Quinn to get stuck with late at night while patrolling the streets, Rachel Berry was the last person she wanted to spend time with.
Early into her slaying career (she really needed to check out the medical and dental plan on this whole Slayer gig) Quinn and Emma had come across a werewolf. Capturing the said wolf had been easy; it had stepped into the muzzle after all then been lead to the boiler room of the school rather happily, just like a well trained dog. The next morning when Quinn had gone to confront the wolf in human form she'd been furious to find Rachel sleeping on the bed that they'd set up the night before.
Quinn had instantly been hit with the notion that she had to slay Rachel – she was a demon after all, but Emma had dismissed the notion and had pointed out that while Rachel may be a werewolf she also appeared to be a tame werewolf and that she seemed to be no harm – or she wouldn't be as long as she was in Quinn's care. And so the most dysfunctional supernatural alliance ever was born.
It would have been fine if Rachel wasn't so...right all the time. The singer seemed to have everything demon related stored in her head just to annoy Quinn in the middle of brush with the forces of evil. It was handy – handier than Ms Pillsbury squealing at being covered in demon blood, but still annoying. Though having a werewolf around was handy for knowing what was being served for lunch that day – and more importantly if it was a good day to leave school grounds in hunt of edible food – Quinn was a growing Slayer after all.
Not that their colliding supernatural misfortune made Rachel any more endearing – in fact Quinn was convinced it made Lassie impossibly more annoying. She didn't even get a break during a full moon as Rachel would howl in place of singing! Ok...so trying to make whines and howls sound like 'Defying Gravity' was slightly endearing – not that Quinn would ever admit to it, nope...never. Not at all.
To top it all off PUCK of all people was in on her little secret! After the bad boy of McKinley had shot wolf Rachel with a pellet gun ('really big, freaky dog') it had taken all of Quinn's strength not to beat the boy the next day at school – she didn't want people asking questions after all. However at overhearing Quinn warning Puck not to shoot at animals – no matter how scary – the diva had exclaimed "you shot me!" and any chance of letting the incident pass was gone. Quinn had practically dragged Puck and Rachel to Ms Pillsbury's office so nobody else would find out about hers and Rachel's late night activities...
Quinn had then proceeded to threaten Puck never to reveal the truth about Rachel. Nobody acknowledged the fact that she didn't seem to care about her own secret or that she was so avidly trying to protect the diva. Quinn herself certainly didn't acknowledge that the night before she'd never been so scared in her life at the thought of losing Rachel...she just didn't want to go there.
So now Quinn was stuck with Puck thinking he could defend her in his own macho way and Rachel who despite being well trained in wolf form still didn't understand the command 'STAY' in human form. In fact, she was rather convinced that all those times she stopped hell on Earth from happening that Emma had muddled up her prophecies again, because she was living hell on Earth already.
So whenever the latest demon hit town, trying to steal brains or eat babies or...well Quinn never did really pay attention to the 'why' of the situation, she just got on with it; often thinking how a random comment made by Brittany two days earlier suddenly made sense. "Can blowfish drive?" suddenly makes sense when you've almost been run over by a blowfish driving a sports car – and Quinn doesn't care why they're doing it, she's more annoyed at the fact Rachel would rather send her to slay demons than spend time together. Not that Quinn would ever admit to wanting to spend time with Scrappy Doo or anything.
Queen of the world may have been her dream job, but it wouldn't have been half as fun.