As I walked towards him ready to enter his cool embrace he opened his oversized deep chocolate colored cloak

and I thought man he even smells like chocolate and that's when it happened …

I opened my eyes.

Eff my life! Even in my dreams I can't get a vampire to turn me.

Just as I was about to throw a tantrum on the floor I realized I was indeed laying on the grass covered ground.

Which made we think why was I laying on the ground? Then everything starts to come back to me and I think Oh

Snap!


Disclaimer: Guess what! [Insert David Lee Roth voice] Eyeeeeeeeeeeee aint got no mon-ney, no mon-ney, no mon-ney, no mon-ney, no mon-ney, no mon-ney, no mon-ney. Therefore i do not own Twilight or any of the characters. i just like playing with them to create silly stories that hopefully make you laugh.

As always for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Just as I was about to throw a tantrum on the floor I realized I was indeed laying on the grass covered ground. Which made we think why was I laying on the ground? Then everything starts to come back to me and I think Oh

Snap!

Something cold and wet was crawling on my face. As i started to come back to life i heard the heavy breathing like deep heavy sicko pervert on the phone breathing, Then i smelled it oh boy did i smell it and the smell went straight

to my now throbbing vagina.

It was the absolute best smell i've ever smelled. And I immediately knew I could never live without this woodsy, salty, beach, musk smells like a field of sunflowers swaying in the sun while i skip

through it and could it be dirty dog?

That thought made me open my eyes. What i saw made my eyes buldge out of my head.

Visualize the largest dog you have ever seen and times that by ten! This was like a miracle grow dog like a dog on steroids. Could it be a hairy horse i wondered?

Holy shit after removing the saliva slop off my face and the eye crust out I was able to get a closer look and just as i did the dog belted out the loudest howl.

Thats when I heard Edwad Cullens voice for the first time in months he spoke to me and said "Thats not a dog Bella, its a wolf, Run".

While i was asleep this wolf/dog licked all of my cuts, I was no longer bleeding and and i almost had no scarring. It was as if the whole thing never happen.

Hey where'd the Rhasta guy go? I got on my knees in an attempt to get up and look around for Mr Jamaican me crazy.

When i did this i mustve spooked the dog because he ran away as he ran away it felt like the whole forest shook. i sat back down, now what am i going to do, i thought to myself. No sooner that Marmaduke left did this gorgeous

and i mean gorgeous supurb magnificent brown/bronzed Ken doll on steroids figure walked up to me with this silky straight black hair. He looked like a walking hard on, showing his pelvic V shape muscular outline to what i hoped

was the mother of all Johnson's.

As he tucked his Johnson into his tight ass cut of jeans. Well hello Sir was all i could think as i wiped the saliva from my mouth. He was gorgeous and all i could think was edward Cullen who?

"Don't do it Bella", Edwards voice came from behind me, i spun round as fast as i could but he was gone.

"Edward!" I yelled. "EDWARD". No answer.

The gorgeous man im assuming with a sweet face cocked his head to side like an adorable yet confused puppy would do with an amused look on his face. And with that simple gesture he made my vagina pulse back to life.

"Where did who go Bells?"

"Edward, Edward Cullen just here", i said frantically

His whole demeanor changed. You mean that creep that left you in the woods? He said an he flexed his muscles while leaning on a nearby tree.

Look i dont know who you are but i just heard him, he was just here. I said

The half naked lumberjack just shook his head and his lucious straight locks with him and said "No ones here but you and I Bella."

Did you see him? I asked, Where did he go?

The gorgeous mountain finally spoke and his deep voice said once again "Bella, its just you and I out here, no. one. else"


Hope you likey. Dont give up on me people. Ive been away saving trees in the Amazon. (well if i was given free tickets i would)

As always please review.

Thanks Vic-